by SJ West
Contents
Books by S.J. West
Acknowledgments
Part I
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Part II
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Part III
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Part IV
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Epilogue
Author’s Note
Next From S.J. West
Moonshade ~Sneak Peek
About the Author
COPYRIGHTS
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
© 2018 by S.J. West.
All rights reserved.
Cover Design: Paper & Sage Design, all rights reserved.
Interior Design & Formatting: Stephany Wallace, all rights reserved.
Proof Reader: Allisyn Ma.
* * *
Published by Watchers Publishing May, 2018.
www.Sjwest.com
* * *
BOOKS IN THE WATCHER SERIES
The Watchers Trilogy
Cursed
Blessed
Forgiven
* * *
The Watcher Chronicles
Broken
Kindred
Oblivion
Ascension
* * *
Caylin’s Story
Timeless
Devoted
Aiden’s Story
* * *
The Alternate Earth Series
Cataclysm
Uprising
Judgment
* * *
The Redemption Series
Malcolm
Anna
Lucifer
Redemption
* * *
The Dominion Series
Awakening
Reckoning
Enduring
* * *
The Everlasting Fire Series
War Angel
Between Worlds
Shattered Souls
OTHER BOOKS BY S.J. WEST
The Harvester of Light Trilogy
Harvester
Hope
Dawn
* * *
The Vankara Saga
Vankara
Dragon Alliance
War of Atonement
* * *
Vampire Conclave Series
Moonshade
Sentinel
Conclave
Requiem
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I would like to express my gratitude to the many people who were with me throughout this creative process; to all those who provided support, talked things over, read, wrote, offered comments, allowed me to quote their remarks and assisted in the editing, proofreading and design.
Thanks to Allisyn Ma, my proofreader for helping me find typos, correct commas and tweak the little details that have help this book become my perfect vision. I would like to thank Liana Arus, my beta reader for helping me in the process with invaluable feedback. Thank you to Stephany Wallace for creating the Interior Design of the books and formatting them.
Last and not least: I want to thank my family, who supported and encouraged me in this journey.
I apologize to those who have been with me over the course of the years and whose names I have failed to mention.
(Helena’s Point of View)
My domain has always been a dark place, but lately, it’s become even too dark for me. I fully understand the irony of that statement since I am Hell, but I figured out what’s going on a long time ago. No one needs to explain it to me.
I remember quite clearly what happened after Lucifer lost Amalie and gave Anna to Andre to raise as his own child. All that insufferable snow, mirroring the state of his soul. I detested him for being so pathetic, but now, I find myself trapped by the same circumstances. I never thought I would follow in my father’s footsteps with such exactitude, yet here I am with a lost love and child. However, unlike Lucifer, I decided not to allow myself to wallow in self-pity for the rest of my days. Instead, I’m fighting against such apathy, unwilling to let it control me.
I’ve done some remodeling over the past five years. Instead of my dark version of Anna’s palace in Cirrus, I now reside in a replica of Cade’s earthly beach home. The only problem I’m having is that it’s constantly raining here. I can’t seem to make it stop. Before he left me, after the birth of our son, Cade said I would see him twice more before “the end,” whatever that was supposed to mean. He didn’t seem to know what God meant by those words either, but I assume I’ll find out in due course.
Unfortunately, Cade couldn’t tell me when those visits would occur, but just knowing I’ll be able to see him again keeps me going most days. It’s more than God ever allowed Lucifer with Amalie, and it makes me wonder if he’s treating me like a human would a prized pet. Are Cade’s visits to me treats meant to reward me for good behavior? If that’s how God handles people, it seems a little twisted considering the fact He’s supposed to be a benevolent being. Of course, He is the one who teased me with visions of Cade and me having a happy little family while I was trapped on alternate Earth. I didn’t know He could be so heartless, but I suppose I should have realized His cruelty could reach bounds even I didn’t know existed.
“What are you thinking about, Aunt Helena?” I hear an innocent voice ask me.
I let my eyes drift over to the open doorway of the cottage and see Anna’s almost six-year-old daughter standing there dressed in a pink nightgown. The artificial wind blowing off my imaginary ocean outside lifts her gorgeous mane of long white hair around her face, making her look just like her mother once did when she and I shared a connection. Her piercing electric blue eyes appear to stare straight into my soul as she awaits my answer.
“I was thinking about God,” I reply, finding it odd that I always feel a need to answer Liana’s questions truthfully.
As she walks over to the couch I’m sitting on, she says, “He’s a nice man. Have you ever met Him?”
“Yes,” I tell her. “I have.”
“Did He come here to see you?” Liana questions as she sits down right next to me with zero fear that I will hurt her. I can’t say that of many creatures, yet this little one isn’t afraid of me in the slightest. Perhaps somewhere in that teeny tiny human brain of hers she knows I won’t kill her because I need her.
“No. Once upon a time, I could leave this place, but I don’t have enough power to do that now.”
“Is that why you never come to see us in Cirrus?” she inquires with a small tilt of her head.
“Yes.”
Liana leans her little body into mine and wraps her right arm around my waist.
“I’m sorry, Aunt Helena,” she says, sounding sad over my predicament as she tries to bring me comfort. “I wish you could leave. It’s too dark for you here.”
Involuntarily, I stiffen my back at her words. I have a feeling she’s talking about something more than just the ever-present rain outside.
“What makes you say it’s dark here?” I ask her out of curiosity.
Liana releases her hold on me in order to lift her head and look me in the eyes.
“It’s not a dark you can see,” she whispers, as if this phantom gloom she senses is a living creature that will jump out of its shadow to ensnare us both in its clutches and never let us go.
“But you feel it?” I ask her to clarify.
Liana nods and lays her head back against my side as if she believes remaining close to me will protect her from this shadowy entity. I begin to wonder what her reaction would be if she knew I was the source of the darkness she perceives in my domain.
“Why do you come here, Liana?” I ask.
“You know why,” she tells me.
“Humor me. I want to hear you say it again.”
“Because you need me,” she replies with more confidence than someone her age should have. “And I need you.”
“Why do you need me?” I ask, hoping I get a real answer this time.
“I don’t know,” she says with a small shrug of her shoulders. “I just do.”
It’s a reply I’ve heard more times than I like to count, and each time I hear it, I become more confused and irritated. Obviously I know what I require Liana for, but what in the world could she possibly want from me? The only thing that makes sense is that the seal I gave her is drawn to the seals that are still in my possession. It’s the only connection we share.
Liana pulls away from me so she can look at my face again.
“Why do you always ask me that, Aunt Helena?” she says with a confused look. “Don’t you like me coming here to see you?”
“I enjoy your company,” I tell her. “I just don’t see why you would want to be here if the darkness scares you so much.”
Her little mouth quirks to the side as she considers my words.
“I’m not exactly scared,” she tells me. “I just wish I could make the darkness see the light.”
“Don’t be disappointed if that little miracle never happens,” I warn her. “Sometimes people need to feel the darkness to remind them that there are consequences to their actions.”
“Why?”
“Because they’re too stupid to realize how they should act toward others without constantly being reminded that my punishments await them if they never change their ways.”
“Why?”
“Liana, I’ve never taken you for an unintelligent child,” I say, feeling slightly aggravated with her singular query. “I believe my statement was made clear enough for you to understand.”
“But why do you have to be the one who punishes them?” she asks, clarifying her question.
“It’s what I was made to do,” I say. “It’s the job my father created me for.”
“Do you like hurting the bad people?”
“Most of the time,” I admit. “Though the joy of such acts has lost some of its luster lately.”
“Why?”
“Are you this aggravating with your parents?” I ask in a huff.
“She most certainly is,” I hear my sister say from the direction of the still open doorway.
I look over at Anna and plaster a fake smile on my face.
“I suppose this means our five minutes are up,” I say, knowing Anna believes that if she places a five-minute time limit on Liana’s nightly trips down here her daughter won’t be affected by the evil that permeates my domain. “Did you also inherit angelic punctuality, Sister? Or do you use a clock to count the seconds Liana is with me?”
“I use a clock,” Anna admits as she walks over to us.
Liana automatically holds up her arms to her mother, silently signaling that she’s ready for Anna to pick her up and take her back home.
“Is my warm milk ready, Mommy?” Liana asks Anna before she plants a small kiss on my sister’s cheek.
“Yes, it is,” Anna replies as she rubs the tip of her nose against her daughter’s. “Your daddy is waiting to read another chapter to you and Liam while you drink it. Then you have to go to sleep. Okay?”
Liana pokes her bottom lip out to her mother in a pout that would affect a lesser person.
“But I want to come back here and play with Aunt Helena,” she whines. “You never let me stay here.”
Anna smiles serenely at her daughter, but I can tell how forced the expression is for her.
“I have my reasons, sweetie,” my sister says. “Now, say good night to your aunt before we go.”
Liana lets out a deep, disappointed sigh before saying, “Good night, Aunt Helena.”
“Good night,” I reply.
Anna phases away with her daughter, but she returns a few minutes later, like she always does.
“Are you up for playing a game of chess this evening?” she asks me.
“Don’t you ever get tired of trying to reform me, Sister?” I ask as I stand from my seat to make my way outside to the porch.
Anna follows behind me because we normally play our game outdoors to enjoy the ocean breeze.
“I’m not delusional enough to believe I can change anything about you, Helena,” she replies.
I know she’s telling me the truth because when she’s in my domain I know everything about my big sister’s life.
“I suppose you’re not,” I tell her as I take a seat in my chair on one side of a small round wooden table, which is already set up with a chessboard and its pieces. “You simply pity me and hope these little distractions of yours will prevent me from losing my mind.”
Anna sighs as she takes her seat across from me. “I’m not delusional enough to think anything I do will stop you from doing what you want either.”
“I still don’t understand why you allow Liana to visit me,” I say, suspicious of my sister’s motives. “I can’t seem to pick that answer from your thoughts for some reason.”
“That’s probably because I’m not sure why I let her come here either.” Anna sits back in her chair and studies me for a moment before continuing to speak. “Malcolm and I tried to stop her at first, but as you know, that didn’t work. She still came down here when we thought she was asleep. If Lucas hadn’t warned us about what was happening, we’d still be clueless.”
“Ah, how is the little angel anyway?” I ask. “Are you still keeping him in the dark about who he really is?”
“He’s Lucas,” Anna states adamantly. “He has his own life and memories.”
“Still, it must be hard on Malcolm to keep such a monumental secret from his son. I don’t think I could do what the two of you are doing.”
“As a parent yourself, you know better than any of us that we do what needs to be done to protect our children,” she reminds me. “Speaking of which, I saw Cal the other day. You’ve never said whether or not you look at my memories of him.”
“It’s your move, Anna,” I reply, since my sister always plays the white pieces.
“Do you look at them?” Anna pesters me. “Have you seen what your son looks like now?”
“No,” I reply shortly, knowing she won’t get off the subject until I answer her question.
“Why not?” she asks, sounding confused about how a mother could want to be completely cut off from her own child.
“If your intention is to anger me,” I say, attempting to keep my annoyance under control, “keep asking me questions like that. If you want to play this game, make your move.”
Anna remains silent for a moment as she considers me. She’s trying to figure me out, but she doesn’t seem to understand that I’m not a simple puzzle she can solve. Finally, she moves one of her pawns on the board and we begin our game. I don’t play with my sister because I enjoy chess. To be honest, it bores me to tears, but when I let her win, Anna feels as though she’s accomplished something. Apparently, she believes that if we spend enough time together, I’ll learn how to care for her. She hopes I’ll develop familial ties to her, but all she’s really doing is providing me with information. I believe she’
s fully aware that I’m probing her mind during our games, yet she hasn’t said anything to me about my invasion of her most private thoughts. It’s ironic really. Anna is so desperate to save me, but all I can think about is destroying her perfect little life. Why does she deserve to be so happy when all I’m left with are distant promises that may never be fulfilled by a God who deems it necessary to rip away everything I love?
“It’s your move, Helena.” Anna’s gentle reminder makes me realize that I’ve allowed my brooding to interrupt our game.
As I look at the board and consider my opening move, I ask her, “I see that the overgrown man-child you married is still insisting he isn’t disappointed you can’t bear him any more children.”
I hear Anna gasp slightly as I move my first pawn on the board. I should probably feel a modicum of remorse for making my sister feel like she’s failing her husband by being barren, but I don’t. In fact, it gives me a tingle of pleasure to feel her sorrow.
“You can’t possibly know what Malcolm is thinking because he never comes down here,” Anna states. “I assume you just said that because you like feeding off my guilt over the fact that I can’t have any more children.”