by SJ West
“It’s what I do, Anna,” I say unapologetically. “This isn’t Heaven where you hear the Heavenly Host sing and smell the aroma of cotton candy in the air. This is my domain, and I’ll always do what’s needed to feed off your deepest fears and guilt. You’re the one choosing to remain here. I’m not preventing you from leaving.”
“Do you ever treat Liana like this?” Anna questions.
I know I’ll need to tread lightly where her daughter’s well-being is concerned, or my sister will be more motivated to find ways to prevent Liana from coming to see me.
“No,” I reply. “She isn’t old enough to have any guilt about anything, and you keep her so shielded from the real world she hasn’t developed any fears yet.”
“She’s only five,” Anna says in defense of her daughter’s woeful lack of real world experiences. “You know how dangerous it is for the kids to be anywhere but Cirrus.”
“Do you really believe that by moving Cirrus over the ocean you negated all the phase points of the rebellion angels?” I ask incredulously.
“I didn’t do it just for that reason,” Anna points out. “I also wanted to make sure we didn’t destroy the northeastern seaboard in case Hale and his group managed to do to Cirrus what you had him do to Virga.”
“You make it sound like I forced him to blow that cloud city out of the sky. I assure you, Sister, he was more than willing to go along with my plan.”
“And yet, you double-crossed him in the end,” she points out. “I would think that means he hates you just as much as he hates me. You didn’t serve him the justice he thought he deserved by having me deposed from the throne of Cirrus and convicted of killing all those people. Have you seen Hale lately, or have you blocked him from coming here?”
I decide not to answer Anna’s question because I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing she’s right. It might make her think she has an edge on me.
“It’s your move,” I tell her instead as I sit farther back in my chair and stare out at the blue-green ocean through the rain. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her move another pawn across the board, but I’m not sure she even knows which one she moved or where she placed it. Her gaze remains steadily on me.
“Helena …” she begins, but I raise a hand up to stop her from giving voice to her next question. I already know what she’s going to ask me.
“I saved you because Cade loved you,” I tell her. “I don’t want you to think that I did it because I care for you, Anna.”
I can feel her doubt about my words, but I don’t really care if she believes me or not. If she prefers to fool herself into believing that she means something to me, let her waste her time.
“I know you don’t want to talk about him, but I think, as his mother, you should know that Jules and Ethan are doing a wonderful job of raising Cal.”
I look over at Anna, unable to hide my loathing. While she’s watching me, I slowly raise my right hand, press the pads of my middle finger and thumb together, and snap my fingers, instantly revoking her invitation to my domain, at least for tonight.
She should have known better. My son is a subject that’s off limits to her. I don’t know what made her think I would soften on that issue on this night of all nights. Tomorrow Cal will turn five years old. My son’s birthday is the only time I refuse even Liana entry into my domain, because I allow myself to think about him and wallow in my own misery. No creature here is spared my sorrow, least of all me.
Chapter 2
(Anna’s Point of View)
“From the look on your face,” Malcolm says to me as he peers up from the book in his hands while he rests comfortably on the side of Liana’s bed, “I’m guessing Helena kicked you out again.”
I sigh in defeat and nod my head, confirming his suspicion.
“What happened, Mommy?” Liam asks from his spot on the other side of Liana underneath her covers.
“Nothing, sweetie,” I reassure him to erase the concerned look on his face. “We just had a misunderstanding.”
“Misunderstanding,” Malcolm grumbles under his breath because he knows it’s our code word indicating that I did something to make Helena angry with me.
“A misunderstanding about what?” Liana asks, unable to fathom what Helena and I could have possibly had an argument over.
“It isn’t anything that any of you need to worry about,” I reply with a half-smile to reassure my children.
Malcolm and I decided a long time ago that we would never tell the twins who Cal’s biological parents are. For one, I feared what Helena might do to Liana if she ever questioned her about Cal. Secondly, we didn’t want the children to inadvertently say something that might tip off a rebellion angel to Cal’s whereabouts. Helena’s pregnancy wasn’t exactly a secret, but where her baby ended up was only told to a select few people who could be trusted without question. Thirdly, and perhaps the most important reason, Cal doesn’t know Jules and Ethan aren’t the people who gave him life. It’s a secret Helena herself demanded be kept from him because she didn’t want her son to grow up believing his parents abandoned him. She loved her son enough to relinquish all of her rights to be a part of his life, so that he could grow in the love she knew Jules and Ethan would lavish on him. It was one of the most unselfish acts I’ve ever seen anyone make, and sometimes I still can’t believe Helena did it. She may continue to protest that she doesn’t have a heart, but that night showed me a completely different side to her. In that moment, I knew my sister was more than Lucifer made her to be.
Malcolm closes the book he was reading to the twins and lays it on the nightstand standing between Liana’s and Liam’s beds. He reaches over for Liam and plucks him from his sister’s bed to settle him in for the night on his own. While Malcolm tucks Liam underneath his covers, I walk over and do the same to Liana.
“Is Aunt Helena really mad at you?” my daughter whispers to me in a conspiratorial voice, as if she believes I would want to keep such information from her father.
“I don’t think so,” I tell her. “I think she just wanted to be alone.”
“Oh,” she says with a thoughtful look on her face, “is it that time of year already?”
“Yes, it is,” I reply. “She won’t let you come see her tomorrow, but that’s all right because we’ll be going to Cal’s birthday party anyway.”
“Why does Aunt Helena pick that day to be all alone?”
“Everyone deserves to take a day to themselves, don’t you think?”
Liana shrugs her tiny shoulders. “I guess, but I don’t like to be alone.”
“Aunt Helena isn’t like most people, but I think you figured that out a long time ago.”
Liana nods her head. “Yeah, I know she’s different, Mommy.”
“Different,” Malcolm grumbles as he stands directly behind me, but he chooses not to expound upon his real feelings toward Helena.
Malcolm still detests the fact that Liana feels a need to go see Helena every night, but we both know that it’s better to let her go and know where she is and how long she’s there than it is to not know when she goes or how long she stays in Hell. Our assumption is that the longer Liana stays in Hell, the more influence Helena will have over our daughter. By limiting her time there, we hope to protect Liana’s soul from the damaging effects of visiting Helena’s domain.
Not long after Cal was born, Lucas came to us and said he’d had visions of Liana going to Hell to play with Helena. The concept of the two of them playing together seemed strange to us at first, until we saw it for ourselves. I’m still not sure why Helena allowed Malcolm and me to enter her domain to retrieve our daughter, but then again, she probably knew that the fact that Liana sought her out would trouble both me and Malcolm more than anything else. I’m sure she took some satisfaction in being able to remind me that it was my daughter who came to her of her own freewill. The jury is still out on that one, but it can’t be denied that Liana likes to spend time with her Aunt Helena. I’m just not su
re what draws her to my sister. The working theory is that it has something to do with the seal Helena gave Liana when she was a baby. It’s definitely possible, but for some reason, I feel as though there’s more to the story. I just haven’t figured it out yet.
“Get some sleep, Liana,” I say before leaning down to kiss my daughter’s forehead. I turn toward Liam’s bed and walk over to kiss him as well.
“The two of you need to go straight to sleep,” Malcolm tells them. “Tomorrow will be a busy day for us all.”
After they both promise us that they’ll go to sleep, Malcolm and I leave their room to seek out our own. We walk hand in hand down the hallway, past the living room, and into our own bedroom. As soon as Malcolm closes the door behind us, he brings me into his arms.
“You looked a little startled when you appeared in the kids’ bedroom,” he says, resting his chin on top of my head as he holds me close. “What set the queen bitch of Hell off this time?”
“I mentioned Cal,” I say, snuggling up against Malcolm’s broad chest and tightening my hold around his waist. “I finally asked her if she’s looked at any of my memories of him. She says she hasn’t.”
“Do you believe her?”
“I have no reason not to. I think it hurts her too much to think about him.”
Malcolm remains silent. I know he still doesn’t trust Helena, and I can’t really say that I trust her either, but I do feel sorry for her. I can’t imagine giving up one of my children, even if it was for their own well-being. I know I could do it for that reason, but just thinking about the heartbreak it would cause makes me want to cry.
“I sense there’s more to the story that you’re not telling me,” Malcolm finally says.
Sometimes I wish my husband didn’t know me so well.
“She brought up the fact that I can’t have any more children,” I reply, knowing he won’t let the subject go until I tell him exactly what happened while I was with Helena.
Malcolm tightens his hold on me but doesn’t say anything because he knows I need to say more first.
“She said that you’re still disappointed that I’m unable to get pregnant,” I confess.
I feel Malcolm’s body stiffen in my arms.
“She doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” he says gruffly. “And the fact that you can’t have children isn’t your fault.”
“I know, but it doesn’t keep me from feeling guilty about it. I feel like I’ve failed you in some way.”
Malcolm pulls back from me just enough so I can lift my head and look him in the eyes.
“You haven’t failed me,” he says truthfully. “Neither of us knew what the twins were doing to your womb while they were in there. Who could have predicted that all of their kicking would scar you and prevent you from having any more children? None of that was your fault or theirs. It just happened, Anna. Besides, we have three gorgeous kids. We’re luckier than most couples by having them in our lives.”
I lift myself slightly on my toes so I can plant a warm, gentle kiss on my husband’s lips.
“We’re very lucky,” I agree, hoping my luck will get even better this evening considering the smoldering look Malcolm is giving me.
There’s a light knock on the other side of our bedroom door, instantly dashing my hopes of some alone time with my husband. Malcolm kisses me on the lips once before walking over to see who our visitor is at this time of night. When he opens the door, I catch sight of our oldest son, Lucas, standing there with Luna by his side. Now that our resident hellhound is full-grown, Luna is only a foot shorter than Lucas, who is five feet tall now. I can’t believe he’s already twelve years old, but there are days when he acts much older. This is one of those days.
As he stands outside our door, I can see the ancient soul he harbors mirrored in the depths of his soft brown eyes. Before he even tells us why he’s knocked on our door, I already know exactly what he’ll say next.
“I had a vision,” he tells Malcolm while he absently strokes the white flaming fur on Luna’s head. I’ve noticed he tends to pet her when he’s upset about something. I’m not sure if it’s simply the action of the motion that brings him comfort or if there is something supernatural about Luna that helps calm him down. Luna is one of a kind in the fact that her nature was never corrupted by Hell. Lucifer brought her to me before she was turned into the vicious hellhounds we’ve run into before.
Both Malcolm and I walk out of our bedroom. I take Lucas’s hand with one of mine and lead him over to the couch so we can listen to what he has to tell us.
“What did you see?” I ask him after we sit down.
“It was about Cal,” he tells us, looking between me and Malcolm as his father sits down in a wingback chair across from us.
From the worried expression on Lucas’s face, I can tell whatever he saw upset him a great deal.
“What was he doing?” Malcolm asks as his brow furrows with his own worry.
“Nothing really,” Lucas says, as his eyes take on a distant look like he so often does when he remembers a prophecy.
“Then what was it about this particular vision that disturbed you?” I gently prod, wanting to know what future event Lucas may have seen concerning Helena’s child.
Practically since he was born, we’ve all been waiting for the day when Cal would show some sign that he’s the son of the most powerful creature living in our universe. So far, he’s been the perfect child with no signs of being anything like Helena or having inherited any of her powers. I think we all know that can’t last forever. At some point, he’s bound to show signs of his parentage. We’re just not sure how or when it will manifest.
“He …” Lucas begins before faltering for words to describe what he saw.
I squeeze my son’s hand reassuringly, drawing his attention back to me. I smile to encourage him to organize his thoughts and continue when he’s ready.
“His eyes were glowing,” Lucas tells us. “It was almost like they were made of pure energy, and he looked really mad.”
“Mad as in crazy,” Malcolm says, “or mad as in angry?”
“Both,” Lucas answers.
“How old was he in your vision?” I ask, hoping to nail down an exact time to expect this change in Cal to happen.
“I’m not really sure,” he says. “He was older but still young. Maybe in his late teens or early twenties. It was hard to tell.”
“Did you see anything else?” Malcolm questions. “Did you see him do something in particular?”
Lucas shakes his head in answer to his father’s question. “That’s all I saw, but I did feel something.”
“What did you feel?” I ask.
“I don’t think Cal was in control of himself,” he tells us while looking between me and Malcolm. “It was almost as if something else was working through him.”
“Do you have any idea what this something else was?” I ask anxiously.
Lucas shakes his head, looking disappointed in himself. “I couldn’t tell. All I know is that Cal wasn’t Cal anymore. He was something or someone else. I don’t know another way to explain it. I’m sorry, Mom.”
I scoot over on the couch and bring my son into my arms. He rests his head on my shoulder, and I wish for the thousandth time that he wasn’t burdened with the gift of foresight.
“Never be sorry about your visions,” I tell him. “You can’t pick and choose what you see and what you don’t.”
“I thought I would have more control over my gift by now,” he says, sounding both frustrated and disappointed in himself.
“Lucas,” Malcolm says, drawing our son’s attention to him, “the things you’ve told us in the past have helped tremendously. You’re a miracle to us. Don’t ever think of yourself as being anything less.”
“I’m not sure Bai sees me as much of a miracle,” he says glumly.
“Bai loves you,” I state because I know it’s true. “What would make you think otherwise?”
Lucas leans away from
me and shakes his head at what I said.
“I didn’t say she doesn’t love me,” he corrects, looking shy about his relationship with Bai. “I said I don’t think she sees what I do as much of a miracle.”
“Why?” Malcolm asks.
“I told her she would be an empress of a cloud city one day, and she called me a liar.”
“An empress?” I say, finding this revelation curious. “Are you sure?”
Lucas nods. “I saw her wearing a gold crown and sitting on a throne.”
“Which cloud city?” Malcolm asks.
“I’m not sure,” Lucas replies, looking confused.
“Were you there with her?” I ask.
“I’m not sure about that either, Mom. I only saw her and the throne. I couldn’t make out anything else. It was all a bit fuzzy.”
Bai, Linn and Daniel’s eldest daughter, is actually the reincarnation of JoJo Armand—one of the original vessels who helped Jess and Mason close the Tear. Since Lucas is the reincarnation of JoJo’s true love, Gabe Kinlan, we know that she and our son have always been destined for one another. But if Lucas is interpreting what he saw correctly, that would mean that Lucas will become emperor of a cloud city one day. It can’t be Cirrus because Lucas isn’t my son by blood, and only a blood relative can inherit the throne from me.
How in the world will Lucas and Bai rule their own cloud city, and which one will it be?
“Is there anything else that you’ve seen lately that you want to tell us about?” Malcolm asks Lucas.
Our son shakes his head. “No. That’s about it. Are you going to tell Ethan and Jules what I saw Cal doing in the future?”
Neither Malcolm nor I answer right away. Sometimes it’s hard to know what visions people should be told about and which ones they should remain ignorant of until the moment happens. None of Lucas’s visions of the future are set in stone. Sometimes what he sees can be altered by the freewill of the person the vision is about. In cases such as this one, the event happens so far in the future that it’s difficult to predict whether or not those involved should know about it now or if telling them what might happen will cause the vision to come true.