Hilda and Zelda

by Paul Kater

make light and gasped. "We are where I was when I came into your world." He looked behind them. "And that is what we came through."

  A strange blob, looking as air liquified, hung in the air. It seemed to wait for someone to dive into it.

  Hilda popped up her wand also and examined the blob. "So we are in your world? Suck an elf... This thing has Zelda's signature all over it. Looks like she managed to secure the route back. Well, let's make a surprise..." She mumbled a few words, stated that she hated Latin, and then put a spell on the blob that it should not allow passage or any meddling by anyone else but herself and William. "Right. At least we have a way back home."

  "So now we are facing an entire world in which a witch is on the loose." William looked at the road they were next to. As he remembered, the town where Bert lived was closest by. "I think we should head over there, to the town you know, sweetwitch. It is nearest, and my bet is that she went there."

  "William? Please make sure I don't go crazy in this place. I am not taking any responsibilities now we're here." Hilda touched his arm and looked very serious.

  "We'll be fine, Hilda. We're together now. You help me in your world. I'll help you in mine. I think the first thing to do is to become less prominent. Get clothes people wear here."

  "Oh, yes!" Hilda grinned. "I remember those, look!" A whoosh of the wand later she wore a white t-shirt and faded blue-jeans again, with black loafers on her feet. She hopped off the broom and twirled round for William, his wand still lighting up the area. "How do I look?"

  "Hilda, you should wear that at home. You look so incredibly sexy like that." William flicked his wand and wore something that looked like his regular clothes, but there was no necktie this time. It did not belong to a wizard. And his shirt was wizardly blue, with silver stitching in the collar.

  "Oh, I like you like that," said Hilda. She hugged William, who had also stepped off his broom. He did not fight the hug.

  "I suggest we fly to the town limit and proceed on foot into town," the wizard said after the hugging and cuddling was done. "We don't want to attract attention with the brooms."

  "Good. I'll do what you say, William. I'll be a good little witch for once. Just once, remember?"

  He grinned. "You'll try, you mean."

  "Isn't that the same?" Hilda hopped on her broom.

  "I guess for you it is," the wizard grinned as he mounted his broom again. "Now, let's go to the town and stay out of sight. It's best if we go across the fields and stay away from the road."

  William dimmed the light on his wand and made it just light the ground in front of them. They set off, crossed the road and flew over the fields, towards the bright blob in the distance that was the town.

  5. Terrorists

  "Holy Bejeebus."

  They had touched down behind one of the first houses; in its shadow Hilda had shrunk their brooms and now they walked into the main street. Walking was difficult, as the former asphalt road had apparently been turned upside down.

  "I dare say that Zelda's been here," Hilda remarked about the obvious.

  In places, remains of cars showed in the debris. Most streetlights lay on the ground, as if a giant hand had snapped them like matches. The street was silent in a way that was different from the normal night silence. Usually, William knew, there would be the occasional sound of a car driving, a radio or tv blaring. But now there was nothing but silence.

  "I think you're right," William said as they tried to make their way over the large lumps of road.

  "William, this is not going to work. We need our brooms, or we'll spend all night getting through this street."

  Now this was slightly exaggerated, but William had to agree that their progress now was minimal. He reached in his pocket, when somewhere a window on a higher floor of a house opened.

  "Hey," a voice said in a loud whisper, "are you two crazy? Get the hell off the street before she comes back."

  The window, in which there was no light, closed again quickly.

  Hilda reached in William's pocket, took out the small brooms and returned them to their original shape. Before William could act, she hopped on hers, flew up to the window and knocked on it.

  "Oh God," William groaned.

  The window opened only a slit.

  "Hey. Who are you talking about?", Hilda asked the invisible person in the house. "Dark haired woman, long hair, black lips, overdone necklace and a wide black dress on a broom?"

  "Yes. Do you know her?" The person inside the house did not seem to notice Hilda's mode of transport.

  "Yes, I do. Thanks. Any idea where she is?"

  The person inside the house noticed Hilda's mode of transport. "Fuck, you're one of them?" The window was slammed shut, but Hilda already had her wand in hand and kept the window open.

  "Calm down. We're the good ones."

  William had lifted up to the window also. "Yes, really. We're the good guys, believe us."

  A thud came from inside the room.

  "Sounds like someone fainted," William remarked. "I suggest we go inside and wait for whoever it is to wake up and tell us some more. No good in flying about without a clue."

  "Sometimes you say the most sensible things, William," Hilda grinned. She pushed the window open and they slipped into the room. There they found a man, a bed and a few chairs on the floor.

  -=-=-

  Charlie woke up. His first thoughts were of the strange vision he'd seen just before the lights went out. Two people on brooms, hanging outside his window. People like the raving mad woman who had torn up the city. He reached for his head, which still was in place. Somewhat of a reassurance. He did not recall getting onto his bed, but he was there. Opening his eyes, a curse escaped him. The two people he had seen were inside his bedroom!

  "Oh, he's awake," said Hilda. "That's good."

  Charlie wondered how that would be good, with the two so closeby.

  "Good morning, young man," said William. "Nice of you to join us."

  "How did you get in?", Charlie wanted to know.

  "Through the window," William pointed. "And now, if you can answer a few simple questions, we'll leave through that again and you'll have your peace again."

  "But-" Charlie gave up. "Who are you?"

  "We're the people who will try to get rid of the witch," William explained.

  "I'm a witch and he's wizard, and we want to get a move on," Hilda explained in her own way. "So tell us where the witch is who created all that havoc and we're off."

  The man on the bed had by then found a comfortable position in the corner where his bed touched the wall. He held his pillow in front of him, as a defense against this strange couple. "I know nothing. I don't know who you are talking about, I don't know where she is, and I did not see her yesterday either!"

  "Right," said Hilda. "So you know who we are talking about, you're scared out of your mind, and she's been here longer than one day. You're really helpful already."

  The wicked witch got to her feet and stood close to the bed, Charlie trying to cower into his corner even more. The concrete wall did not work with him. "Now just tell us what you know and we'll go. It is in everyone's interest."

  "She came here three days ago," Charlie blurted out, his eyes almost glued to the wand that had somehow appeared in the hand of the grey-haired woman. "No one knows her, she flew through the streets on a broom. Everyone thought it was a gimmick for a movie or so, until she screamed that she was going to take over this town. And there was no camera-crew. Day before yesterday she plowed over all the streets, as there were people following her in cars and on bikes. I tell you, she's crazy. And that is what I know. Can you go away now, please?"

  "We'll go. Do you have any idea where she usually is when she's not out?", William asked the man.

  "I'm not sure, but try O'Malley's pub," Charlie said. As he spoke, a loud noise from far away sounded through the still open window.

  Hilda looked at William. "That's
her." They jumped on their brooms and chased out of the window, leaving Charlie shaking on his bed.

  "Why can't I just be drunk, like regular people," the man muttered.

  As Charlie lamented his situation, the witch and the wizard were already gaining altitude and looking around. From several places in the town large plumes of smoke billowed upwards to the clear sky. Zelda was not taking half measures to establish her presence.

  "We need to go up some more, William," Hilda said, "we're too low here."

  As they climbed even higher, a roaring noise caught William's attention. He looked around beneath them and saw a lonely tank plow through the beat-up street.

  "What kind of monster is that?", Hilda asked. She already had her wand in hand.

  "It is a military vehicle. They're hunting Zelda, no doubt," William said.

  "That? Against a witch? They're mad, like everyone here," the witch snorted. "Let's go tell them that." The sound of an explosion changed her mind. "Suck an elf! What was that? Zelda, no doubt," she answered her own question.

  "Sounds like it was over there," William pointed. A new pillar of smoke confirmed his feelings, so they set course for the latest place of havoc.

  William recognised the area where the explosion had been as they came closer. He knew this town fairly well. "Shopping centre," he said, as he took the lead.

  They arrived at a smoldering car-wreck. Smoke came from the burning tires. The magical couple landed their brooms on a piece of the road that was not completely upset and they had their wands in hand, scanning for the presence of the witch they were after.