A Mother's Dilemma

by Emma Hornby

‘My love,’ she whispered, resting her cheek against his chest.

  In the fading light they stood as one, never needing again to be anywhere else. And all was well with the world.

  Chapter 26

  ‘ANOTHER LEMON CAKE, my lass? Go on, then.’

  Grinning and clapping her hands, Constance then helped herself from a check blanket spread on the jade-coloured grass.

  Flora smiled as she toddled off. Then her mouth fell open and she pointed, chuckling, to where the youngster had stopped by a cluster of waiting birds. ‘Well, now! I worried the child were for making herself sick with all them sweet treats, but nay; that’s where my ruddy baking’s going!’

  Sarah threw her head back and laughed. After dropping a kiss on to her granddaughter’s head, she passed her across to the older woman. ‘’Ere, Flora love, you take little Minerva. Come here, you imp!’ she added to Constance, rushing towards her, fingers wiggling with the threat of a tickle, much to the child’s delight.

  Watching the two at play, the group shared a warm smile.

  ‘You wouldn’t think she were the same person, Mam, would you?’ murmured Jewel, filled with pride.

  ‘And that’s all down to thee.’ Flora nodded. ‘And the little cherub, here, of course. Her girls gave her summat to start afresh for.’

  Jewel blinked back tears, then grinned when Maxwell nuzzled her neck. She turned to him and their lips met in a feathery kiss.

  ‘Eeh, aye. We picked a fine day for it, anyroad,’ announced Maria, squinting up at the cloudless sky. ‘Ta for holding this on my day off, lass,’ she told Jewel as she helped herself to a beef-and-pickle sandwich. ‘Reet thoughtful of thee, that were.’

  ‘As if I’d have it any other way. It wouldn’t have been the same without thee.’

  It wasn’t Jewel’s birthday for another five days, but they had chosen to hold the celebration the Sunday before to allow the maid to attend. Well, the date which Jewel had always recognised as her birthday, at any rate. Truth be told, from what Sarah had said, she’d actually turned eighteen yesterday.

  A confusing but happy mess! she thought with a crooked smile, determined now to see the positives where she could. Not many – bar British monarchs, at least – could lay claim to two birthdays, could they? A lucky circumstance, she’d say!

  The delicious picnic, prepared by Flora and Sarah this morning, was a sight to behold. Beneath the leafy canopy of a large tree, and amidst much joviality, cold meats, cakes, fruits, custards and pies – washed down with gooseberry wine, Roland and his fiancée’s contribution – had been enjoyed by all. The day, so far, had been one of the best of Jewel’s life. She really didn’t want it to end.

  Now, gazing around at the merry faces of the people she loved, she sighed contentedly. What a contrast to life just a few months ago. So much had happened in this one short year, it was difficult to comprehend. And changes wrought were seen nowhere else more than in some of the folk here today.

  Again, her eyes sought out Sarah, sober and healthy and glowing with life, and her heart swelled.

  Her thoughts drifted to Roland: calmer, matured and besotted with the pretty young woman he was soon to wed. Though not in attendance, the couple had wished the day well, much to Jewel’s gratitude. This had strengthened her hopes that despite his initial surprise that she was to join his family, Roland was gradually coming around to the idea. And to think that someone she’d once supposed might be her father would soon be her stepson. She chuckled inwardly. As she’d just mused, definitely a confusing but happy mess! Nor would she have wanted it any other way.

  Maxwell’s laughter as he watched Sarah sweep his daughter, overcome with giggles, into the air, brought Jewel back to the present. She motioned for him to join them and, after planting another kiss on her, he headed off across the park.

  ‘’Ere, I spoke with that Jem Wicks one yesterday,’ Flora told her when Maxwell had gone.

  Jewel’s smiled slowly slipped. ‘Oh?’

  ‘We passed in the square and he said as how he’d heard you were to be wed. He asked if I’d give thee his warmest best wishes. He’s norra bad lad, really, eh?’

  ‘Nay,’ she murmured, her happiness returning as another bad episode in her past was put to bed. There had been wrongs on both sides; if he was prepared to forgive, then she was more than willing as well. Yet another stepping stone towards her fresh start, she knew. ‘Nay, he’s not.’

  Later, out of puff and pink-cheeked, Sarah fell grinning on to the blanket beside her. ‘By, I’m fagged! She’s a bundle of energy, that young angel Constance and no mistake.’

  ‘And you enjoy every second of it,’ Flora told her.

  ‘I do, aye. I look forward to Minerva growing and being able to join in the fun. Eeh, it’s in heaven I am,’ she finished on a whisper almost to herself. ‘Bloody heaven.’

  Jewel reached for her hand and squeezed. ‘I’m pleased you came today, Sarah.’

  ‘As if I’d of missed it, lass!’

  ‘What time you off back to Manchester?’

  ‘Stop at mine the night if you’d like,’ offered Flora, and was rewarded with a huge smile.

  ‘Aye?’ Sarah asked.

  Flora nodded. ‘That way, you’ll not have to fret about missing the last train home, can spend more time with Jewel and the kiddies.’

  Jewel smiled. That these two had hit it off to the degree they had warmed her heart something lovely. Their relationship may have formed through a shared desire to do what was best for their daughter but had since developed into a solid friendship. She loved the very bones of them both.

  ‘Minnie’s well, lass, is she?’ Flora was asking now. ‘Eliza, too?’

  ‘Oh aye. ’Ere,’ Sarah continued, turning to Jewel, ‘they were over the moon when I told them what you’d named the child. Minnie cried buckets.’

  Taking her baby into her arms, she stroked her cheek. ‘Choosing Minerva in homage to Mrs Maddox felt the right thing to do, me and Maxwell both agreed. She did what she did with good in her heart. Without her and the decision she made all those years ago, none of us would be here together today. I see that, and I thank her for it daily. She’s enriched all our lives.’

  Bright-eyed, the women nodded their agreement.

  ‘I’ve never been happier than I am now, living with the two of them,’ said Sarah. Then her face dimmed a little and she sighed. ‘I only wish I could find employment. I’ve searched and searched, but …’ She shrugged. ‘I hate dwelling on their charity.’

  ‘If it’s a position you’re after, I reckon Maxwell’s sister Mrs Kirkwood would be only too happy to help you, Sarah,’ offered Jewel.

  ‘Aye?’

  Recalling Mrs Kirkwood’s enthusiasm to help Louise last year, she nodded. ‘That lady is golden-hearted; it’s what her philanthropic soul lives for, I’m sure. I’ll introduce you to her, shall I, at the wedding next month?’

  ‘Eeh, aye. Oh, ta, lass,’ she cried, beaming.

  As the group lapsed into companionable silence, Jewel’s thoughts returned to Louise. She’d told Maxwell’s sister during their chance meeting that day that the girl was her cousin, little knowing the truth in the statement. Still, there had been no word from her and, in a way, Jewel was glad of this, for hopefully it meant she was settled wherever she’d chosen to go. She was confident that Louise was doing well, had finally found the decent start she deserved. Sadly, it wasn’t to be for Julia. A victim of her upbringing, she’d stood little chance. However, Jewel was sure that her sister was making the most of her life, doubly so, for the pair of them.

  As for the woman who gave birth to them … She shuddered at the memory of her. Sarah hadn’t seen hide nor hair of her since, and for that they must all be truly thankful.

  ‘Here’s Bernard, look.’

  Following her mother’s gaze across the park, Jewel smiled at the man making his way towards them. She knew a throb of disappointment that Esther wasn’t with him, but refused to dwell on it. The woman was hurting, in more
ways than one. Benji, when all was said and done, and despite his faults, was her only child. She must miss him terribly. Moreover, with Sarah now on the scene, her heart was surely sorer still.

  Would they ever be able to get past this, as a family? Jewel certainly hoped so. The past, after all, was where it belonged. Peace, for everyone, and love and togetherness were what she desired more than anything else.

  ‘I’m glad you came,’ she told Bernard when he stooped to kiss her cheek. ‘Thank you.’

  He nodded, smiled. Then, dropping his gaze, he shifted from foot to foot.

  ‘What is it?’ Jewel asked.

  ‘Esther.’

  ‘She’s here?’ She strained her eyes towards the park’s entrance. ‘Where?’

  ‘By the gates.’ His tone held both guilt and hope. ‘She told me to go on in front, needed a minute to compose herself, like. But ay, she agreed to coming, eh? That’s a good sign, lass, in’t it?’

  Jewel gave him a small smile of reassurance then, catching sight of her aunt in the distance making her way towards them, she rose from the blanket. Holding Minerva close, she set off to meet her.

  ‘Afternoon,’ Esther said quietly with an awkward nod of greeting when she reached her. ‘Bernard said it were all right that I came …’

  ‘Course, aye. I’m glad you’re here.’

  Her face showed surprise. ‘Aye?’

  ‘Aunt Esther, all that’s occurred, what we’ve learned … I just want to be happy, that’s all,’ she said earnestly. ‘It’s all one bloody big mess, I know, but well … Can’t we try to get past it, together? As a family? Please?’

  The woman’s stare misted. She looked down at her granddaughter and a ghost of a smile appeared at her mouth. She brought her gaze back to Jewel and took a deep breath. ‘I hope youse have saved a bit of grub for me, lass, I’m fair clemmed.’

  Tears of quiet relief pricked her eyes. She beckoned for Esther to follow, and the two of them made off to the party.

  When her aunt was seated between Flora and Bernard, and Maria’s sister – who had reprised her role as Maxwell’s maid – had handed her a glass of gooseberry wine, Jewel left her to settle in and went in search of Maxwell. She spotted him at the steps by the colourful flowerbeds. Constance on his knee, he was pointing out the different blooms to the enraptured child.

  Pausing for a moment unnoticed, Jewel drank in the scene with a full heart. To think that they were her life now, her family. She surely was the luckiest lass in the world.

  ‘Come here, you two.’ Spotting her and Minerva, Maxwell held out a hand. ‘What are you thinking?’ he asked Jewel, putting his arm around her when she snuggled beside him.

  ‘How things could so easily have been very different,’ she murmured. ‘I never believed I could feel like this, my love, thought happiness weren’t meant for me.’ A smile crept across her lips. ‘I were convinced you only noticed me for my domestic skills.’

  He grinned. ‘That’s what I liked to have you and others believe, never dreamed you’d think to look twice at an old fogey like me. When you left for all those months … God, it near killed me. You were with me in mind constantly.’

  ‘And me. Is that why you didn’t say goodbye?’ she asked suddenly. ‘I’ve allus wondered.’

  He nodded. ‘I couldn’t trust myself not to beg at your feet for you not to go.’

  ‘What are we like, eh? And ay, don’t call yourself that again,’ she scolded softly.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Old. For you’re not.’

  ‘No?’

  She shook her head. ‘You’re mature, experienced. I like that.’

  ‘So I’ve noticed,’ he whispered with a wink, then laughed when she swatted his arm, blushing. He looked towards the picnic and the wicked gleam in his eye deepened. ‘What say we run away to some far-off place where no one will ever find us? We’ll do nothing but drink champagne in the sun and make love in the moonlight for the rest of our lives. Are you game?’

  Playing along, she arched an eyebrow. ‘And where would we find the brass to fund this tempting lifestyle?’

  ‘I’ll rob the bank.’

  ‘And when you’re caught and prosecuted for embezzlement?’

  ‘Oh, but it would have been worth it!’ he growled, pulling her close and kissing her neck.

  Laughing, she lifted his chin with her finger. Lips soft and warm found hers and she closed her eyes.

  ‘We had better get back to our guests,’ he whispered against her.

  She pulled him closer. ‘In a minute.’

  ‘I don’t have to leave, nay,’ she told him when, finally, they walked arm in arm back to the others. ‘I have everything I need right here.’

  Things were not perfect yet between them all, it was true, but they were good enough. Besides, the future could only get better. For she had family, friends. She had love.

  And, really, what was life without it?

  About the Author

  Emma Hornby is the author of A Shilling for a Wife, Manchester Moll and The Orphans of Ardwick. Before pursuing a writing career, she had a variety of jobs, from care assistant for the elderly to working in a Blackpool rock factory.

  She was inspired to write because of her lifelong love of sagas and after researching her family history; like the characters in her books, many generations of her family eked out life amidst the squalor and poverty of Lancashire’s slums.

  Emma lives on a tight-knit working-class estate in Bolton with her family.

  Discover more about Emma and her books at her website: www.emmahornby.com

  Also by Emma Hornby

  A SHILLING FOR A WIFE

  MANCHESTER MOLL

  THE ORPHANS OF ARDWICK

  For more information on Emma Hornby and her

  books, see her website at www.emmahornby.com

  TRANSWORLD PUBLISHERS

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  Transworld is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com

  First published in Great Britain in 2019 by Bantam Press

  an imprint of Transworld Publishers

  Copyright © Emma Hornby 2019

  Cover photography: © Colin Thoms; except background © Getty Images

  Design by Richard Ogle/TW

  Emma Hornby has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

  This book is a work of fiction and, except in the case of historical fact, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  Every effort has been made to obtain the necessary permissions with reference to copyright material, both illustrative and quoted. We apologize for any omissions in this respect and will be pleased to make the appropriate acknowledgements in any future edition.

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

  Version 1.0 Epub ISBN 9781473560093

  ISBN 9780593080559

  This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

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