The Homesteader's Sweetheart

by Lacy Williams

  Again, acting like a mother might do.

  Not his mother, but the way he’d seen other mothers act with their children.

  Hope bloomed and ached in his chest at the same time. He knew how dangerous hope could be.

  They’d mostly finished the structure and Jonas had visited the water trough again to wash the worst of the dirt off his face before heading to the wagon, when he saw a gentleman in a dark suit approach Penny amongst a gaggle of women.

  Had the good-looking man been present the whole day? Jonas couldn’t say for sure. Jonas’s attention had been caught on Penny and he’d only been peripherally aware of the other projects and men working.

  The man tucked Penny’s arm through his as if they belonged together. Jonas watched, unable to help himself, as she said something to him and allowed herself to be led away from the other women, around the corner of the brand-new structure.

  Who was the dark-haired man? Someone Penny had met today? The familiarity of his actions disputed that notion, but…she hadn’t mentioned a beau, someone that would miss her in the weeks she’d been gone from her home in Calvin.

  Jonas turned for his wagon, half-numb, blinded by emotion that hit him square in the chest. Every thought he’d considered today about Penny belonging with him seemed to mock him now.

  He’d known she was meant for a high-society fellow. Known she wasn’t for him, but seeing her with this other man burned a hole in his chest.

  “Pa, Pa!”

  Matty approached at a run, his urgent shout bringing Jonas’s head around. Had one of the children been hurt? Where was Breanna?

  “What’s the matter?”

  “Penny—” Matty’s gasp surprised Jonas and he forced his face to blank.

  “—talkin’ to fella—”

  “She can talk to whoever she wants,” Jonas reminded his son, trying to keep any bitterness out of his voice. How had he let himself fall in love with her?

  “—he grabbed her—”

  What? Matty now had Jonas’s full attention. His son gestured in the direction Jonas had seen Penny and the stranger go off in, still gasping for breath.

  “She tried to get away from him.”

  Finally, a full sentence from the boy. Jonas didn’t waste any more time. He hurried toward the side of the barn, Matty on his heels. When he rounded the structure, he saw that Penny was indeed in a struggle with the taller man.

  “Let go of me!” she hissed.

  “Now—”

  “She said let her go!” Matty exclaimed before Jonas could react, racing past Jonas.

  The man looked up, caught sight of Jonas, and released his hold on Penny’s arm. She didn’t move away from him, though, only stood there in the deepening shadows rubbing her wrist.

  “I’m afraid you’ve wandered into a family squabble,” the man said, voice even. With the sky darkening even further, Jonas couldn’t make out his expression, but he sensed waves of menace radiating off the man.

  “Family? You ain’t Miss Penny’s family,” Matty spat.

  “As a matter of fact, I’m her fiancé.”

  The words stunned Jonas. He reached out to grab Matty’s shoulder and guide the boy away. This was obviously a personal matter.

  “You are no such thing, Mr. Abbott.” This time Penny’s voice rang with vehemence and she moved away from the man, rushing to Jonas’s side and slipping into the circle of the arm he’d outstretched to grab hold of Matty.

  She was shaking, and his arm naturally curled around her trembling shoulders.

  Fiancé or not, Jonas couldn’t leave her this upset. He would bring her home and deliver her to her grandfather. Let Walt sort out whatever mess she was in.

  “Your father sent me to bring you back to Calvin—”

  “My father isn’t here,” Penny interrupted. Her words didn’t fully refute whatever this Mr. Abbott was saying, though. Jonas still felt as if he’d been bludgeoned.

  “I don’t want to go with him. Please, can you take me home?” Penny whispered, lifting her face to Jonas’s.

  He couldn’t respond over the blood rushing in his ears, but Matty said it for him.

  “Yeah, Pa, let’s git outta here.”

  “Penny!” Sam rounded the structure at a run, and joined the group as they moved away from Penny’s suitor, who said nothing more. “You all right?” he asked his sister in low tones.

  Jonas allowed Sam to assist Penny onto the wagon seat as he gathered up the rest of his sons and Breanna.

  The uncomfortable feeling of being watched didn’t fade as Jonas guided the wagon away from the Smiths’ new barn.

  * * *

  Penny held the quilt around her shoulders, still shivering. The same blanket on which she’d shared a meal with Jonas and his family and that he’d pushed into her arms when they’d reached the wagon.

  She couldn’t get warm, not after that slimy Mr. Abbott had had his hands on her. She tried to focus on the sensation of Jonas’s strong arm wrapped about her shoulder. What she’d really wanted was to feel both his arms around her, offering her comfort.

  But he hadn’t said one word to her since coming upon her and the awful Mr. Abbott.

  Surely he didn’t believe the other man.

  A glance at his stern profile told her nothing, other than he was probably upset. Or tired.

  She wished she knew which it was. Her experiences with her father had taught her not to push with too many questions when he was in a foul mood, but she’d never seen Jonas lose his temper before.

  Perhaps if she explained things. “Jonas, I—”

  He sent her a quelling look. Even with his face in shadow, in the darkness, she could feel that he didn’t want her to speak.

  “Please, if you’ll let me explain—”

  “Not now,” he said, in a quiet, insistent voice. He glanced over his shoulder and she followed his gaze, realizing that although the children had been quiet in the wagon, they weren’t asleep, but attuned to everything passing between her and Jonas.

  “Then when?” she whispered.

  He shrugged and she knew he didn’t intend to hear her explanation at all. He probably thought she had encouraged Mr. Abbott’s attentions, even welcomed them. How little he must think of her!

  That realization hurt.

  She wanted him to think highly of her. To admire her, as she admired him. Maybe she was even falling in love with him.

  But how could she love someone who wouldn’t let her speak her piece?

  “I listened to you,” she almost blurted talk about the boys but stopped herself with a glance at the curious, shadowed faces behind her, “after the rainstorm,” she continued.

  Jonas stiffened beside her.

  “Without judging,” she added. “In fact, what you told me made me admire you.” Perhaps she shouldn’t have admitted that, but her emotions had gotten the better of her and she’d blurted it out.

  “The least you could do is listen to me—”

  “Fine,” he said grudgingly. “We’ll drop the children at home and then I’ll take you to Walt’s place. You can explain on the way.”

  It would have to be enough, because he wasn’t offering more.

  They rode the rest of the way in silence. Even the children remained quiet. Only the occasional jingle of the horses’ harness interrupted the peacefulness of the night.

  The irony mocked Penny’s chaotic heart.

  * * *

  Jonas didn’t want to hear Penny’s explanations. He wanted her to go away, go home to her beau in Calvin, and leave him to his life with his children.

  But he’d told her he would listen, and so he would.

  Then he’d ask her not to visit anymore. He’d figure out a way to get through the summer without her and hopefully she’d return to Calvin, where she belonged.

  And then maybe he could get his dreams of having her as part of his family out of his head.

  As soon as the wagon pulled into the yard, Oscar was at his shoulder, a fresh horse
ready to head to Walt’s place. Jonas almost asked for a second mount, not wanting the closeness of Penny riding behind him. Almost. Sam had mounted up and ridden ahead after Penny had quietly told him she wished to speak to Jonas. He was already across the yard and would outdistance them quickly.

  Jonas and Penny were barely past the barn when she started speaking, as if she’d held the words in during the wagon ride and couldn’t bear it any longer.

  “My father wants me to make a good match. That’s why he sent me away to finishing school and when that didn’t take, he has now apparently chosen Mr. Abbott for me to marry.”

  This was the explanation that was supposed to reassure him? That her father wanted her to marry well?

  Jonas would never be considered a good match.

  “I tried to talk to my father, tell him that Mr. Abbott and I don’t suit. We don’t,” she said when she must’ve felt Jonas’s muscles tense. “He’s… I can’t explain it any better than there is something disturbing about him. He looks at me as if I was a breeding mare—as if, as if he only wants one thing. We’ve barely spoken but I have no desire to be married to that man.”

  She took a breath, he could feel her huffing as if her emotional words had taken a toll on her.

  “I tried to talk to my father. I even tried to bring my mother into it. She understands that I don’t want anything to do with Abbott but she won’t stand up to Father.”

  “What do you mean?” He hadn’t meant to speak at all, but she’d started talking about her mother and his curiosity overtook him.

  “My mother…isn’t happy. I have no remembrance of her being completely happy with my father. Never. He is…a hard man, much of the time. I don’t know if she thought she was in love with him in the beginning, but the marriage they have is nothing like…”

  She stopped speaking for a moment and when she continued, he could hear the tears in her voice.

  “You knew my grandmother before she passed. You couldn’t have seen her and Grandfather together and not seen how in love they still were, even after all those years together.”

  He nodded, unable to deny it. He’d been envious of the obvious love between Walt and Peg. He’d never seen anything like it, not between his parents or anyone else.

  “That’s the kind of love I want to find. I won’t marry without it. When you arrived in Calvin and brought Grandfather’s letter, it seemed too good to be true. I thought if I could get out of town for a little while, perhaps Abbott would forget about me, but he’s obviously followed me here.”

  Jonas could understand why the other man didn’t want to let her go. A vibrant, beautiful creature like Penny Castlerock was special. Based on Penny’s description of their true relationship—not really knowing each other, an agreement with her father—the other man’s proprietary behavior did seem out of character.

  But it wasn’t Jonas’s place to intervene. He would let Walt handle things or make the choice to send Penny back to Calvin.

  She quieted as they rode into Walt’s yard.

  “I suppose you think I’m foolish for trying to avoid my problems, only you don’t know my father.”

  No, but based on their two meetings Jonas could understand that perhaps the man wouldn’t accept anything other than total obedience from his daughter.

  “And if you found this person that you loved, would your father accept your decision?” he asked, because he couldn’t contain the question.

  “I don’t know.” Her voice was hesitant.

  They drew near to the porch and Jonas helped her off the horse but maintained his seat. He looked down on her earnest face and his stomach clenched.

  “I suppose if I truly fell in love the way my grandparents felt, it wouldn’t matter what my father said. I would choose to be with that man.”

  He couldn’t voice the question deep in his heart. And what if this person was poor? Would you go against your father for someone like me?

  His questions remained unasked as he said goodbye and made sure she got inside Walt’s cabin all right.

  But they remained in his heart as he wheeled his mount and cried out to God. Will I ever be enough for someone to love?

  Chapter Sixteen

  Penny woke early, her most recent conversation with Jonas still fresh on her mind. He’d seemed to hold himself back, especially at the end.

  He was naturally quiet, but this was more than that. As if he’d wanted to say something or ask something but he hadn’t. The direction their conversation had taken made her question things herself.

  If she was developing feelings for Jonas, would she go against her father’s wishes to marry him?

  She was still unsettled in her own mind about whether she could be happy living outside of town. And in a poorer financial situation than she was used to.

  If she couldn’t answer those questions for herself, how could she go against her father?

  She pushed herself out of the warm bed, shivering when her feet hit the cool plank floor. The cabin was quiet. Had she managed to wake before her grandfather and Sam?

  She’d spent so many mornings rushing through her ablutions to get over to the Whites’ homestead. Perhaps today she could take a few moments for herself and try to work through her muddled feelings.

  Penny took several minutes to brush out her hair, enjoying the feel of the soft strands against her now-calloused fingers. Before she’d come to visit her grandfather, the state of her hands would have bothered her. Her mother would likely have a conniption if she saw them now. But Penny didn’t mind.

  Each blister served to remind her of working with Breanna or one of the boys. Actually accomplishing things on their homestead, instead of sitting in a room looking pretty.

  Penny fumbled when putting her hairbrush down on the dresser, and a small wooden box tumbled to the floor, scattering its contents. Bending down to gather them, Penny realized it was the recipe box of her grandmother’s that she’d moved to her room after the kitchen fire. She’d meant to look at the recipes in hopes of finding something she could try her hand at. Something simple.

  Sitting on the edge of the bed, Penny spread the cards out on the bedcover to try and put them in some semblance of order. Some were just small scraps of paper, but all bore her grandmother’s handwriting, its familiar scrolls and loops.

  Seeing the familiar, beloved script brought on tears, and Penny had to blink them away before she could continue. She picked up the nearest recipe and traced the scrawling writing. Carrot Jam. She’d loved her grandmother’s jams and jellies, could remember shelves full of the delicious preserves. Shelves now bare.

  She’d spent so many hours in the kitchen with her grandmother. Sometimes watching the older woman cook, often peeling potatoes while her grandmother prepared the meal. Sometimes doing chores together.

  Her grandmother had been happy living on this homestead with her grandfather. Penny knew it, deep in her bones. Her gran hadn’t needed frilly dresses or to attend fancy parties to be happy. Her gran’s peace had come from within.

  Could her grandfather and Jonas both be right? Did her gran’s faith have something to do with her peace and the love she shared so freely?

  Penny tucked the recipe cards back into their box, then reached for the worn Bible her grandfather had allowed her to borrow. A memory surfaced, another time with her gran, sitting at the kitchen table reading this very book together, heads bowed.

  Penny flipped open the cover and began to read.

  * * *

  Nearly a week after the barn-raising, Penny bounced on her toes in excitement as Jonas and his sons returned from the fields. Flushed with success and from standing over a hot stove most of the day, she rewarded Jonas, first in the door, with a sunny smile that seemed to stop him in place before he reached the water basin.

  “Pa!” someone grunted from behind him, shoving him into the room and severing the invisible connection between them.

  “Sorry,” Jonas muttered, bending over the basin to splash his fac
e. He quickly moved aside, rubbing his face with a towel and then flipping it over Ricky’s head. The boy’s exclamation brought another smile to Penny’s face. She couldn’t contain her joy.

  “Somethin’ smells good,” Edgar said, entering behind the other boys.

  “Penny made carrot jam!” Breanna announced from her place at Penny’s side.

  “My gran’s recipe,” Penny told the surprised faces looking at her. “And I didn’t even burn down the kitchen.”

  The boys’ exclamations and Jonas’s unreadable gaze were interrupted by a distressed cry.

  “Pa—”

  The door banged open and Oscar shouldered through the opening, supporting a white-faced Maxwell.

  “What happened?”

  “He hurt?”

  Jonas immediately moved to Maxwell’s other side, holding his son’s weight. Through the chaos, Penny saw the teen’s lower leg was bent at an unnatural angle. She moved to intercept the trio and met them as they lowered Maxwell to one of the benches. Jonas knelt at Maxwell’s side and began to gently work his boot off.

  “Matty, pump some cold water from the well,” Penny ordered. “Ricky, bring some towels.” Cooling the affected area was the only thing she could think of.

  “I’ll ride for the doc. Pa?” Oscar looked to his father for approval, his face etched with worry.

  “Yes, but be careful. It’s cloudy and getting dark and I don’t want your horse stepping in a hole.”

  Oscar nodded gravely, already moving to the door.

  “I’m all right,” Maxwell said through clenched teeth.

  For a moment, Penny thought the boy was talking to her, but then she realized Breanna had followed and now stood half behind Penny, clutching her skirt and staring at her injured brother with wide eyes.

  Penny stooped and put her arm around the girl’s shoulders. “My brother broke his arm once when we were younger. He tried to climb an apple tree in the neighbor’s yard and fell right out of it. Once the doctor came and fixed his arm, he was just fine.”

  “He was?” The subdued whisper from the usually exuberant girl told of her fear.

  “Yes. I think Maxwell will be all right. We should pray for him, though.”