The Language Inside

by Holly Thompson

                 bridge

                 right

                 refuge

  he says hold this, in case I get lost

  soon we’re out of YiaYia’s neighborhood

  and on the highway

  but Samnang won’t tell me

  where we’re going

  mystery he says

  water

  when we exit

  I realize we’re in Newburyport

  with all those big historic houses

  then we turn left and suddenly

  we see the mouth of the river

  the one that also flows through Lowell

                 and YiaYia’s town

  and Lena is calling out sights—

                 boats in the inlet

                 a tiny airfield with planes

                 a bridge we cross

  signs say Plum Island

  and I vaguely recall

  a day at the beach

  one summer way back

  with YiaYia and Papou

  making a sand castle

  all of us wearing long sleeves

  long pants

  hats

  against the flies

  I think I’ve been here I tell Samnang

  the dance troupe had a beach day here

  last summer he says

  Serey helped organize it

  at the entrance to the wildlife refuge

  I pay the fee

  since this outing was my idea

  then Samnang parks in a lot

  and we all pile out, pulling on gloves

  wrapping scarves, zipping up

  against the cold wind

  Samnang lifts Van to his shoulders

  and we walk up a boardwalk

  through the grasses

  and crest a dune

  and suddenly we are perched

  above a

  not volcanic gray

  but long creamy white

  sand beach

  at the edge

  of the icy blue

  Atlantic Ocean

  for a moment I’m stalled

  turning in both directions

  holding back my whipping hair

  running my tearing eyes

  over and over

  those far reaches of sand

  and I’m thinking

  as soon as she’s strong enough

  I’ll bring my mother here

  Van scrambles down

  and he and Lena run toward the water

  and when a wave breaks

  they squeal and retreat to dry sand

  Samnang takes my gloved hand

  and I breathe deep the salt air

  perfect I say

  good he says

  I figured it was my last chance

  for what?

  to give you a good reason to stay

  I laugh

  I already have plenty of reasons

  but I’ll add this to the list

  so your decision . . .

  I stop

  and with my gloved hands

  recessed in my jacket sleeves

  turn him toward me

  now who’s a dodo I say

  I’m staying the year, Samnang

  and then I’m being kissed

  and I’m in his arms

  and then I’m being swung

  in a circle

  then dropped

  right on my rear

  as he goes off doing cartwheels

  and back handsprings

  with Lena and Van following

  leaping and cartwheeling down the beach

  until Van gets sand in his eyes

  and cries and spits and screams

  and Samnang has to wipe his face

  with my scarf

  when Van has recovered

  Samnang starts walking

  Frankenstein-style

  dragging one heel

  behind him

  in damp sand

  what are you doing? Van shouts

  with his little hands on his hips

  Lena and Van follow

  dragging a foot each

  making three parallel lines

  more or less

  of Samnang’s writing

  in the sand

  when he stops

  they stop

  and step back to read

  39? Lena says

  39? Van says

  and Samnang saunters over

  and wraps me tight in his arms

  Lena shrugs

  and Van loops

  from Lena to the waves

  arms out, soaring

  then he comes careening

  and head-butts Samnang

  hey! Samnang and I say

  and Samnang grabs for him

  and I grab for him

  but Van wriggles out of reach, sprints away

  and Lena laughs and starts to run with him

  and Samnang and I both give chase

  down the white beach

  alongside the cold frothing surf

  half a world away

  from my other home

  Chapter 14

  “Homage to My Hips” by Lucille Clifton

  “Early in the Morning” by Li Young-Li

  “Introduction to Poetry” by Billy Collins

  Chapter 19

  “Otherwise” by Jane Kenyon

  “The Legend” by Garrett Hongo

  Chapter 26

  “God Says Yes to Me” by Kaylin Haught

  “Painting a Room” by Katia Kapovich

  Chapter 33

  “Mermaid Song” by Kim Addonizio

  “Making a Fist” by Naomi Shihab Nye

  Chapters 37 and 39

  O! Maha Mount Dagrek: Poetry of Cambodian Refugee Experiences, edited by Samkhann Khoeun

  Chapter 39

  “Litany for a Hidden Apsara” by Anida Yeou Ali

  Chapter 41

  “Enough” by Suzanne Buffam

  “Running Away Together” by Maxine Kumin

  “The Boundary” by Bei Dao

  Chapter 44

  “Patience” by Kay Ryan

  “The Fist” by Derek Walcott

  Books

  Cambodian Dance: Celebration of the Gods by Denise Haywood

  First They Killed My Father by Loung Ung

  Look Up for Yes by Julia Tavalaro

  Never Fall Down by Patricia McCormick

  Oh Maha, Mount Dangrek, edited by Samkhann C. Khoeun

  Roots and Wings by Many Ly

  When Broken Glass Floats by Chanrithy Him

  Films

  The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, directed by Julian Schnabel

  The Flute Player, directed by Jocelyn Glatzner

  The Killing Fields, directed by Roland Joffé

  Monkey Dance, directed by Julie Mallozzi

  Websites

  Angkor Dance Troupe: angkordance.org

  Poetry Foundation: poetryfoundation.org

  Poetry 180: loc.gov/poetry/180/

  Poets.org: poets.org

  Japanese Folk Dance Institute of New York: japanesefolkdance.org

  For more resources visit Holly Thompson’s website, hatbooks.com.

  I am deeply grateful to Tim Thou, program director, and Linda Sopheap Sou, board president, of the Angkor Dance Troupe of Lowell, Massachusetts, and to all of the members of this phenomenal troupe, especially Emaly Horn, Virginia Prak, Sophorl Ngin, Peter Veth and Monica Veth for their guidance, patience, inspiration and encouragement during my research. I also wish to thank Sidney Liang, director of the Southeast Asian Resources for Culture and Health (SEARCH) in Lowell; Sonith Peou, director, Metta Health Center in Lowell; Dorcas Grigg-Saito, chief executive officer, Lowell Community Heal
th Center; the Royal University of Fine Arts in Phnom Penh; Deborah Cook, RN, BSN, OCN, Oncology Patient Education Coordinator for Inova Health System Cancer Services; writers Katrina Grigg-Saito, Avery Fischer Udagawa, Suzanne Kamata and other members of SCBWI Tokyo; Pamela Thompson, my awesome ice-hockey-playing breast-cancer-survivor sister; the late poet and author Julia Tavalaro, who inspired the character of Zena; Ron Becker and Diana Cortes of the Coler-Goldwater Specialty Hospital and Nursing Facility; poet Sharon Olds and the Goldwater Writing Project; the NGO Peace Boat for the Tohoku relief and cleanup operations in which I was able to participate following the earthquake and tsunami of March 11, 2011; Julie Mallozzi for her excellent documentary Monkey Dance; and Heather Willson and Sovann Phon for my visits to the village of Popeae in Cambodia. I also wish to thank my ever-encouraging agent, Jamie Weiss Chilton of the Andrea Brown Literary Agency, and my ever-wise and patient editor, Franc ¸oise Bui, and all the other friends, family members, colleagues and strangers who helped this book come together. Som or-kun. Arigato. Thank you.

  Holly Thompson, a native of Massachusetts, is a longtime resident of Japan. She is the author of the verse novel Orchards, winner of the APALA Asian/Pacific American Award for Literature; the novel Ash; and the picture book The Wakame Gatherers. She is also the editor of Tomo: Friendship Through Fiction—An Anthology of Japan Teen Stories. Holly teaches creative writing and serves as the regional advisor for the Tokyo chapter of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators. Visit her at hatbooks.com.