by E. M. Moore
“They’ll want to fight,” I pressed.
“We don’t know if it’s even needed…”
“Christian,” I sighed.
He held up his hand. “Do we have to talk about this right now? Please? I just got you back, I don’t want to talk about you going away again.”
He pulled me to his chest and there was something so soothing about the way his chest moved up and down with every breath. It told me he was here, right then and there. I could just take this moment to revel in that, couldn’t I? There were other moments to try to save the day, but this wasn’t one of them. At least for the time being, we weren’t being threatened, we weren’t separated by miles or locked away thoughts, we were right here in the present, and there was nothing better. I pulled away and made sure he could see the look in my eyes. “Okay,” I said. “You win.”
A smile brightened his shadowy face, and then his gaze dipped to my lips. A different case of nerves made me tremble as we watched one another. I wouldn’t let myself think of this before. I’d worked myself tired, constantly keeping my brain and my body occupied as much as I could so I wouldn’t think of moments like this. But here we were again, Christian and I.
Christian jumped and I almost asked him what was wrong when I heard the beginning notes to his ringtone. He rummaged for his pocket and then showed me the screen. It was Nicolai. “I’ll answer it and talk to them first,” he said as he separated himself from me and got to his feet. “They’ll want me to put you on speaker so get ready.”
“But—”
“Get ready,” he said. He turned away and answered. “Hey.”
“Hey? Are you fucking kidding me? Did you get her or not? Did she come? What the fuck is going on there, Christian?”
Whoa. My eyes widened as Nic’s husky, rough voice permeated the air of the empty house around us. I knew I should’ve been frightened and for a second, I was, but just the fact that I heard his voice and he was being Nic, I couldn’t help but smile. Christian held the phone half a foot from his head while Nic continued on his diatribe. He held his free hand on his hip and waited it out.
“Psst,” I said, getting Christian’s attention. “I’m ready.”
I sat back on the couch and made myself comfortable. Christian looked me over and nodded. Without waiting for Nic to stop, he said over him, “I’m calling you back. On video.” He cut the call before Nic could even confirm.
“Do you think we should call one of the others? He might still be yelling into his phone.”
Christian tried not to smile. “He’ll answer.”
He called back immediately using the video call function on his cell phone. Before we could even see Nic’s face, we could hear him. “What the—?”
He stopped dead. Christian had moved the phone so I was included in the picture, and Nicolai was finally speechless. His throat worked as he stared at me, then he called for the others. They all ran into the room, Connor pummeling forward, nearly knocking Nic off his feet. Stephan righted them both. For a second, the screen went all topsy-turvy until all three of them were in front of us again.
Three sets of eyes stared, appraising me. Stephan was the worst. His eyes collided with mine, then dropped lower as if he were taking in every inch. I knew what he was doing, that perfect, sensible man. Searching for injuries, searching for anything he could fix or make better. Then there was Connor who took everything at face value. His soft lips turned up in a smile, almost awkward at first as if he hadn’t done it in a while, but then it was full-blown, nearly taking the air right from my lungs. Nic was in the middle, carefully controlling his features as if I hadn’t just heard him go off the deep end on Christian. He schooled his features like I’d seen him do a hundred times before. He couldn’t fool me though. The dark shadows in and under his eyes were a dead giveaway. They didn’t display the badassery they usually did, it was something more than that. It was borderline despair, only lightening a little when he’d seen my face.
“Hey,” I said, my voice cracking unwittingly.
At the same time, Christian said, “I have her.”
All three of them started to talk at the same time and surprisingly enough, it wasn’t Nicolai who told the rest of them to shut up, it was Connor. He even popped Nicolai in the head who didn’t even give him a dirty look in response. “How are you, Princess?”
“I’m fine,” I said, trying out a smile.
Stephan glowered. “You lost weight.”
“I’ve been working out more.” I looked down, trying to look at me through their eyes. Christian had said the same thing, but I didn’t think the weight loss was that significant. “Do I look bad?”
Connor popped Stephan in the head this time. “You’re a sight for sore eyes. You look beautiful.”
Stephan rubbed the back of his head and gave Connor a dirty look. “I didn’t say she looked bad, it’s just that she’s not supposed to lose weight so quickly.”
I bit down on the inside of my cheek, not knowing what to say. I hadn’t meant to lose weight, I was only doing what I thought would help. Train. Graduate. Change the law.
Nic finally spoke, his eyes going to Christian’s. “How’s everything there?”
I looked at Christian who frowned. “They’re getting closer. We can’t think of anything else they would be heading for in this area and they seem to be taking such an obvious route that it’s hard not to guess their intentions.”
Nic’s jaw tightened. “I think we should come there. Father, too. We need to stand in solidarity with the guards if that’s really who they’re targeting.”
“But that’s not safe,” I said, interrupting Christian’s response. “What if they do attack The Fort, for whatever reason, and Gregor is here?” And them, too, but I left that part out.
Nic ignored me, keeping his eyes on Christian. Next to me, Christian leaned in further, almost comforting me. “Samuel doesn’t want anyone else here right now. He doesn’t want them to think that we’re tracking them. He also doesn’t want to alarm the trainees.”
“I don’t give a damn what Samuel wants,” Nic spat. “You just said yourself they’re being obvious about their actions. Do we really want them to think we’re that freaking clueless that we wouldn’t be tracking the situation? They need to be taken out and stopped. Having us there, and Gregor, will show we won’t stand for the guards lives being taken so easily.”
I snickered. “Easily…” Like he thought we were a bunch of morons who couldn’t fight for ourselves. We literally had a fort for protection, not to mention any weapon available and the bodies to help fight. No, we hadn’t completed training, but we knew enough to fend for ourselves.
Christian pat my thigh where the phone couldn’t see. “We should probably call it a night. We can talk more about this tomorrow.”
“No,” Nic growled. “They’re already too close to The Fort as far as I’m concerned. Something needs to be done about it now.”
“It’s two o’clock in the morning,” Christian stated matter-of-factly. “Samuel’s got the lead on this so unless you’re going to wake him up right now and demand a meeting, all this can wait. That’s not why I brought Ariana here, anyway. It’s so we could all see for ourselves that she’s fine.”
“Yeah,” Connor said, reaching up to smack Nic in the back of the head again. This time, Nic wasn’t having it. He blocked him and threw Connor’s hand back down to his side. A grin teased at Connor’s lips. Leave it to him to try to lighten the mood, and it was just like Nic to be oblivious to that fact.
Stephan ignored them. “You need to eat at least two-thousand calories a day. You work out so much that you should be feeding your body. Why don’t you write down everything you eat and send it to me so I can look it over?”
I shook my head. “Not happening.”
Stephan’s eyes flitted to Christian’s who held his free hand up. “I can’t eat with her, otherwise I’d send you the information you wanted.”
I refrained from rolling my eyes. I
knew all this was just coming from a place of wanting to help. “Stephan, I’ll eat more, I promise. By the time you see me next, I’ll have put some of my weight back on, okay? You don’t need to worry about that.”
He nodded, his features relaxing.
“I want you to turn your phone back on, Princess, and use it. We’re princes, we have safe phones. No one can see what we’re texting and calling or who we’re texting and calling. It’s called technology. When Nic got you your phone, we put the same software on it so no one can trace your phone either. It’s one-hundred percent safe.”
A wave of embarrassment rolled over me and my stomach tightened. That must have been what Christian meant when he said there were other ways. I should’ve realized that they would already have fail safes like that in place. I rubbed my forehead. “Okay. I’m sorry, I just—”
“You freaked out. It’s alright. We’re all on the same page now,” Connor said, his voice light and serious all at the same time. “We just can’t go silent on each other again. Especially with everything going on, it’s better that we keep in touch.”
I nodded slowly, letting him know I’d heard him.
“Alright, I need to talk to Ariana alone,” Nicolai said.
My body froze up. He rarely called me Ariana. I blinked at the screen and watched as Stephan and Connor waved and walked away. Christian got up and handed me the phone. Somewhere on his end, a door closed and Nic turned dark eyes toward me like two black spheres. “Don’t ever do something like this again.” Then, he ended the call.
I stared at the screen that no longer held Nicolai Ravana’s face. He’d just scolded and hung up on me. Cold fire burned through my veins. Christian, who hadn’t even gotten the chance to leave the room was already making his way back to me. I held a hand up and then used that same hand to call Nicolai back. It rang once, twice before Nicolai answered. As soon as his face appeared on the screen, I started in. “Don’t you dare do that, Nicolai. Don’t you dare. I’m sorry, okay? I said I was sorry. I was trying to do what I thought was right. I did what I thought would save all of us, and I’m not sorry for that. I’ll never apologize for acting in a way that I think helps all of us. So, be pissed at me all you want, but don’t ignore me and don’t hang up on me.”
“Ri—”
“No, okay! You don’t think I haven’t been freaking out over here all by myself? You don’t think I haven’t been just barely getting by without you guys next to me? Don’t you dare give me shit. I—”
“Ri, damnit!” He pulled the screen closer so all I saw was his face. “I—” He roared into the phone, then pulled it back. “I’m not good at this talking through the phone shit. I want to hold you. I want to touch you.” He paused. “I need to see you,” he said, his lips a thin line, his eyes turning glassy.
The cold heat in my veins turned to molten lava. I knew what he meant. There was still a barrier between me and him, and Connor, and Stephan. The barrier of space. Yes, the phone helped, but it didn’t cure the longing for them. With Christian here I knew he was safe. I knew everything he thought and felt because I was right here with him. I wouldn’t have that with the rest of the guys until I was in front of them again. “Do what you have to do,” I told him. “Just don’t do anything stupid.”
The corner of his mouth tipped up, and he shook his head. “I’ll see you soon,” he promised. Then, the screen turned black again and this time, it didn’t hurt so much that he wasn’t right there. He was working on seeing me again. My hands ached to touch them, to feel them.
I sat there with the phone in my lap for a few minutes before Christian came back in the room. He took the phone from my grip and set it on the coffee table in front of us. “I should get you back.”
A hollow feeling started in my chest and started to spread. “Is it bad that I don’t want to?”
He arched a challenging eyebrow at me. “Is it bad that I don’t want to take you?”
I tugged Christian’s hands down until he had no choice but to sit on the low table behind him. I moved his phone out of the way and straddled his hips. The sweats I wore weren’t considered sexy by any stretch of the fashion imagination, but I just wanted to be close to him. I threaded my hands through his hair and then held him behind his neck as I brought us together. I explored him this time, tentative at first. I’d made them all worry about me unnecessarily and I didn’t know at what level we all stood with each other now. I brushed my lips against his, kissing the corners of his mouth before deepening the kiss further. His hands smoothed up my back and pulled me closer to him. With my legs wrapped around his hips, I could feel him beneath me, every perfect part of him. I pulled him closer, nearly knocking teeth before I tilted my head at the last second.
We sat there and kissed, our bodies pressing against one another, but nothing further. Just enjoying the feel of our lips on the other, on the delicious sensations our connection created. When we were so out of breath we couldn’t breathe through our kisses anymore, Christian pulled away. His blue-gray eyes ethereal in the darkness. “I needed that,” he said, his body conforming around mine as if it was a second skin.
He had no idea. I felt lighter than I had in days, as if his kisses infused an energized torch inside me. I reached up to kiss his cheek. “I have the strength to go back there now.”
He chuckled into my neck. “Because you took all of mine, I think.”
“Sorry?” I asked, not sure I should be apologizing for something so beautiful. This made him laugh again and then he stood, placing me softly on my feet. He hooked his arm around my shoulders and led me toward the front door. When the chilled night air hit us, I clung to him. He pulled me close and kissed the top of my head.
I understood now, and maybe I already should’ve, but I felt it deep in my bones now. The five of us were a family. Take out one piece and nothing would work right. By cutting myself off from them, I’d inadvertently tested our boundaries, and now that we were back, I understood what had happened. Yes, we could go on breathing. Yes, our bodies functioned like normal—almost. But it wasn’t living, not by a long shot.
Tomorrow was another day. Tomorrow I’d worry about the rogue vampires threatening the school, but tonight, for the short car ride back to my home, I’d get comfortable in the life I was building around me again. I’d let the Ravanas seep back into my marrow and give me the courage—the strength—to spend another day fighting for us in whatever way was necessary. Whether it was pretending Christian was just my instructor, or acting as if I hadn’t spoken to the other princes in days, or whether I had to utilize my guard skills in actual combat, I’d be ready. Now more than ever.
Chapter Twenty-Five
One week passed and we were in a holding pattern. Nicolai tried his damndest to talk his father and everyone else into coming to The Fort, but others felt it was just too risky. He was also ordered to ‘stay put’ by Gregor, which resulted in a long conversation with yours truly riddled with a rant the likes I’d never heard before. I was in pacify mode. I told him I’d be safe, and smart, and that when we finally did get to see one another again, we could have a whole hour of alone time. The way he made me promise that specifically had my stomach pulling tight in yearning. Unsaid words lingered between us, my mind immediately remembering what he’d whispered to me the morning we woke up tangled in one another at the Ravana Estate.
Christian was every bit as intense as Nicolai. He didn’t attempt at absconding me again, but he did try his hardest to make sure I wasn’t fed any information about the rogue vampires. He told me there was nothing new to report, that they had gone silent. There were no new attacks, no attempts at contact with us. The last they’d tracked them was two hours away. It was only a short car ride, too close for my comfort. I agreed with Nic all the way on this. I didn’t like the sit and wait approach. Being proactive would make the hours, the days, go by quicker without all the stress of just not knowing, or worse, waiting for something that might not even happen. I agreed that something should be done
, I just didn’t know exactly what.
Still, Christian stuck with his plan so much so that I barely even saw him. Only in class or in passing would I see his perfectly coiffed dirty blond hair as he made his way from the large main building where he taught classes to the Rajyvik main house where he stayed. I could kick myself for not taking advantage of the time I did have with him, for not prolonging it as much as I could. In class with him, it was hard to concentrate. He was charming without even trying, but it wasn’t just for my benefit, it was for all the other trainees too. I was jealous, which was a hard thing to admit because I knew the other guards weren’t his priority. I knew he was here for me, for his father, and for Samuel to help protect what his father had built. When he spoke, myself and all the others just listened at the powerful force behind his words. The powerful force that made him up, that made him speak the way he did, that made him passionate about the world he lived in. I could so clearly see him standing in front of The Council in the years to come. Without a shadow of a doubt, he’d be a great leader.
Today, as he stood in front of the class, my leg kept bobbing up and down. I was anxious. Anxious to hear what was happening. Anxious to spend time with him and the others again. I hated being out of the loop. I hated the fact that my body always seemed to be searching for something, like reaching out, but finding only air. There was only so much a phone could do. Sure, it kept us in contact, but it didn’t cuddle me, it didn’t tell me I did a great job that day, and it sure as hell wasn’t telling me everything it knew. Class was close to ending when I’d made up my mind to stay behind and talk to him. It wouldn’t be that out of place, would it? I was training to be his guard after all. I could stay back and talk to him, ask him how things were going without pulling suspicion down on us. Especially if no one saw what I was doing. At least, that was what I had talked myself into.
A low voice pierced my internal struggle. It was Rick again. He’d been let back into stake class, but T.J. watched him like a hawk. Christian did the same while we were in this class, though he was less obvious about it. I looked up to find Christian studying the back row. Rick sat back there, the last seat in my row, the kind of seat I would’ve coveted except for the fact that Christian was up here and I wanted to be next to him.