by E. M. Moore
“It’s a simple question,” Rick said, almost laughing. My body immediately tensed, consumed with not just apprehension at Rick’s condescending demeanor, but also anger. Where did he get off speaking to a Ravana Prince like that? “Do you think guards should have a seat on The Council or not?”
Rick didn’t know it, but Christian wasn’t ignoring his question, he was thinking about it. That was what Christian did. He thought about his precise words so he could give as clear an answer as the person deserved. Even now, I could see the slight turn in Christian’s eyes as he internalized the question, flipping it over in his mind this way and that, making sure he understood it right down to the marrow before he could even formulate an articulate answer.
Rick scoffed behind me and my back bowed like I had hackles and animal predatory instincts. Apparently, I was full-on mama bear because I acted before thinking, not even close to Christian’s natural demeanor. “Jesus, give him a second to think,” I snapped. My fingers curled into the desk and if it wasn’t for a tremendous amount of will power I never knew I had, I would’ve been sending Rick a scathing glare behind me.
Yeah, I was taking this time apart well.
Christian’s eyes darted to me uncertainly. I never spoke in class. Hell, I barely even breathed in this one. Even when Christian wanted to start deep and meaningful conversations, I never contributed.
“What’s the matter, Ariana?” Rick called out from the back. The very tone in his voice had me turning around. I could feel the hesitation pouring off Christian and the slight step toward me as I turned to face the troublemaker. I first noticed that he was genuinely curious. He didn’t have that elevated air, none of this ‘he was trying to say something without saying it’ nonsense. “I would’ve thought you’d be the first in line to feel the same way I do. The way the vampires treated you at the last Council meeting was unacceptable. I mean, you have to agree with that. They hauled you in there just to prove the point that vampires shouldn’t be hanging out with us because it’s terrible for them, yet, you’re what? Defending The Council right now? Their decision to separate us even more?”
Adrenaline coursed through my body as all eyes turned on me. Fear thumped in my throat, and I wished I hadn’t spoken up. This is why you don’t speak up, I reminded myself. This wasn’t something I wanted to discuss in front of the whole class, let alone with Rick who obviously had major Council issues, and possibly even major vampire issues. “Just forget it,” I said, before making a move to turn around again.
Rick sat up straighter in his chair, his lips thinning. “Tell us,” he said, his voice more commanding. “You haven’t talked about it with barely anybody.” He motioned toward Evan who sat next to me, and Shannon and Liv, who sat next to him. I looked at them like traitors and they all turtled inside themselves, Evan the most.
Christian’s presence caught me off guard. He was close, standing right near my desk. I wanted to sit back, ease into him to feel his warmth, his encouragement, but that was just entirely impossible, wasn’t it? At least it was for now.
Rick either didn’t notice my internal struggle, or didn’t care. “You told me The Council asked the Ravanas why they saved you. How can you be okay with that? You certainly didn’t sound okay with it the other day, and yet, here we are trying to have a conversation and you never give your opinion.”
My arms bristled as Christian’s tension rose. Everyone was studying me, most of all Christian. He knew how I felt about the meeting, but did I really need to tell everyone sitting in this room how I felt? Was it any of their business? I didn’t owe them…
Yes, and no. I could see both sides. They weren’t entitled to my business with the Ravanas, but there was a larger issue than that, wasn’t there? And that effected everyone.
It was Christian’s strong, encouraging voice that pushed me over the edge. “Go ahead, Ariana. Let us hear your thoughts.”
My throat felt thick as I tried to gather the thoughts I did have and push them out. I had this overwhelming feeling of being caught in the middle. Could something I say be used against Gregor? But I also didn’t want to sugarcoat anything for the rest of the trainees either. “Listen,” I said, finally just having enough with it all. My fingers curled around the back of my chair as I faced down the entire classroom. “No, I hate The Council’s decision. I think some of them are misinformed and making decisions based on fear. Honestly though, we’re humans, we have no idea what it’s like to be a vampire anymore than they know what it’s like to be human. Our species will continue to live just for the sheer fact of numbers. I can’t imagine being almost extinct.”
Rick’s eyes narrowed. “So you sympathize with them? You don’t think we should have seats on The Council?”
“I didn’t say that. I actually think that could work, it’s a step toward working together instead of working for them. The only way relations between the guards and the vampires are going to improve is if we continue to work together. That’s how they’ll see that we’re not really a threat to them personally.”
“A threat?” Rick said, his sharp laugh harsh. “We dedicate our lives to protecting them and this is how they repay us. We’re basically scum to them.”
Christian moved away. With his retreat, I sat back in my seat normally. The Ravana Prince leaned against his front desk, crossing his legs and standing casually on the tiled floor. “This is an important topic,” Christian said, his steady gaze ever philosophical. “Just as I wouldn’t lump all guards into one category, I wouldn’t lump all vampires into one either. Royce Michaelson killed himself. Not every vampire would’ve behaved that way, just like not every guard would’ve taken Ariana as her prisoner to make up for the death of her loved one.”
A blanket of tension fell over the room and I knew Zeke was sitting in the row next to the windows. No one wanted to mention his mother around him. It was too raw, too fresh. Just because I didn’t particularly like him didn’t mean I wished the death of his mother on him. But in a way, when I looked at Christian, I kind of did. She’d attempted to kill him. I could still bring up in my mind the vision of seeing his shirt soaked with blood, feel the utter despair when I had actually believed he was dead. One piece to our whole taken away just like that.
Yeah, when I thought of that, I was kind of glad she was dead.
Christian blinked at me and I wondered if his mind went where mine did, too. He held my gaze as he said, “I’m not going to pretend that things are perfect right now. In fact, they’re the opposite. What I can promise is that there are people like myself and my father who are trying.”
To my right, someone spoke up, “It’s two minutes past the end of class, Mr. Ravana.”
He broke my gaze. “Of course.” He smiled his genuine, charming smile. “Wouldn’t want you all to be late for the obstacle course. We can discuss this topic next time, too, or bring any concerns of your own as well. See you guys later.”
The whole rest of the room stood collectively and started bustling toward the door. Not even Evan waited for me as he usually did. Maybe he just understood judging by the topic of today’s class that we would be needing to talk afterward. Then again, maybe he just left, not even thinking about me anyway. Rick casually made his way past me. He glanced at Christian and then back at me. “Remember what I said.”
I gave him a short nod though I doubted I would ever go talk to him about what had happened at The Council. I didn’t disagree with some of the things he said, but I also didn’t want to encourage him to do whatever he was thinking of doing. He certainly wasn’t a fan of the Ravanas, and to me, that was a bit of a conflict of interest. Me? I was very interested in the Ravanas.
When I thought everyone had left, I looked around the room to make sure. Then, I walked to the door to the classroom and shut it. With my hand still on the doorknob, I took a deep breath. I didn’t know which Christian I would find when I turned around. Mine? Or my instructor?
I turned slowly and found that he was already coming toward me. His
gray blue eyes fixed on mine. His hand secured around the back of my neck and pulled my lips to his. I went willingly, eagerly into his arms, into the firm touch of his lips. His hand slid down my neck to my legs and I instinctively jumped into his grasp. He easily secured me toward him, then moved me toward the desk before sitting me safely on the edge.
Caged in, his arms were fierce, protective as they secured around me. I pulled him closer and closer, trying to kiss away the memories of his blood-stained shirt, trying to touch away the branding iron of the sheer hollowness I’d felt when I’d thought he’d died. He was here. I could feel him. I could touch him, kiss him… It wasn’t long until my body took over. Until I forgot about the reasons why I wanted to kiss him in the first place and instead started kissing him because it just felt too good to stop. He was like the first ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds. Or a newborn puppy when the world was going to shit around you. I needed him to live.
Our thoughts must’ve run down parallel lines because whatever I gave to him, he gave right back. He matched my kisses with something much more fierce. He mirrored my caresses with heat-inducing strokes of his own. “I’m not going anywhere,” I said, gasping out between kisses. Somehow, I knew he’d needed me to say it. He was always trying to keep me around. Even from the beginning, he was there, making me want to stay. And not just for himself, always for the sake of him and the rest of his brothers.
“Me either,” he mumbled against my swollen lips. “I’m here, Ariana. I’m right here. I know I’m a hundred yards away at any given moment, but in my heart, I’m right here.” He laid a hand over my left breast.
I moaned into him, the promise connecting us in ways more than just the physical. I was beginning to sound like a broken record, but I couldn’t wait for the time when we would really be together. When an act such as this wouldn’t send me away wiped and alone, but would only bring embarrassment if spotted.
He pulled away to look me in the eyes at the same time I moved our hips closer together. The silvery flecks in his eyes darkened. “I’m going to fix this,” he said.
I nodded, knowing he would. He would do anything to make sure we would stay together. I never lost faith in that. I might’ve lost faith in the way we would deal with it, but never in everything ending exactly as it should. One day, it wouldn’t be illegal to hold him like this. One day, it wouldn’t be wrong to think of Christian in the way I always did. Until then, I wasn’t going to give up. Until the changes could be made, I certainly wasn’t going to give this up either.
The familiar longing between my legs started. I’d quenched it with Stephan, with Connor, but never with Christian. Not that I thought I would ever completely quench it with any of them. No matter how much I got, I’d still want more.
“You’re perfect, you know that?” he asked, his gaze radiating down on me.
I certainly didn’t feel perfect. I felt like a rebel, like an outlaw who couldn’t even tame herself for the better good of all that she wanted. “I think we know that’s a lie, but I’m happy you think so.”
“What are we going to do about this?” he asked, glancing down at our precarious position.
With my guard-issued sweats on, it wasn’t hard to feel how Christian reacted to our frenzied embrace. What I didn’t expect, though, was to feel the difference in us. Here I was dressed in sweats and a t-shirt while he had on a pair of khakis and a dress shirt. I suddenly felt so small, so young compared to him. Was I just pretending to be his equal this whole time? He said I was perfect? He was delusional.
He tipped my chin up, his gaze questioning. I tried to shake his worry away, but he held steadfast to the tip of my chin. “What is it?”
“Same old stuff,” I said, snuggling in closer to him, not wanting him to see the half lie on my face. “I should probably head to the course.”
He groaned and dropped his head to mine, his fingers stroking my back. “I don’t know how many more times I can keep letting you go. Every time is worse than the last.”
I tightened my leg grip around his hips, forcing him forward. Instead of telling him not to let me go, I was showing him. His hardening bulge lengthened and I wiggled against it, a contented moan passing through me. What I wouldn’t give to see Christian lose control. To know that I could do that to him. A sliver of pleasure pulsed down my spine to the vee of my legs.
Christian froze. He was holding back. Even though I knew he wanted me as much as I wanted him, he didn’t make the first move. He didn’t make any move. “I can’t have you like this, Ariana,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “It’s not fair to you. We’re on my desk in the admin building at The Fort. You deserve a secluded beach, a fancy hotel room, you at least deserve the dignity to not have to be afraid of being walked in on.”
I frowned, stopping all my movements. He was right, and I wasn’t happy about it. I tried to move away from him. There was no sense in teasing either one of us.
He wouldn’t let me though. He held on strong, his hips making the barest of circles in my direction. I sucked in a breath and held it as he got closer and closer. He was barely even touching me and the anticipation felt far too good.
He pulled his hands through my hair and let out a shaky breath. “Can I ask you a question?” When I nodded, he continued. He leaned back so he could look me in the eyes. His gaze was comforting, reassuring. “Are you a virgin, Ariana?”
My tongue thick and lethargic, my brain not quite catching up to why we were going there, I only nodded.
“Not with my brothers or anyone else?”
I shook my head. It wasn’t that Christian was making this awkward. In fact, I was glad we were talking about it. I’d thought about having sex with each of them. I wasn’t a little kid, I had moments where I’d wanted nothing more than to just lose myself in one of them, and yes, I hadn’t felt that way except with them. I’d never been close enough to anyone else to have those feelings.
He kissed my forehead, his lips staying there until they pulled back into a teasing smile. “It’s stupid to think about that when there are so many other issues to worry over, isn’t it? Regardless of what my mind tells me to fixate on, it keeps drawing me back to you. Sometimes I wonder if you’re eating enough, right down to little things like how you’ll wear your hair that day. It doesn’t help that Nicolai, Stephan, and Connor are always calling or texting, asking me the little things. They think I see you far more than I do. I can’t really blame them though. I’d be doing the same thing if situations were reversed.”
We were still so close. The kisses were on the tip of my tongue, the heat was still pooled in my lower belly, just waiting to be acted on. “Maybe we can sneak away together tonight?” I offered, my mouth suddenly dry. This wasn’t just about seeing Christian. This felt more like I was making a date to pick up exactly where we were leaving off. Like a sex date for the pure purpose of losing ourselves in one another. “That way you can give them a full report,” I added, digging deep, throwing anything at him that might help sway him.
Christian’s forehead wrinkled in thought. He raised his eyes to the ceiling, calculating. It wasn’t offensive. Though I wanted to push him into agreeing without thinking, that just wasn’t Christian’s personality. Finally, he stared down at me. “That will work.” He pulled me to him and enclosed his strong arms around me once more before whispering in my ear. “I’ll text you when I’m outside the wall like last time.”
I nodded into his embrace, trying to keep my smile in check though it was virtually impossible. I’d just solidified a date with a sexy vampire.
Chapter Twenty-Six
The hallway was quiet as I made my way through the long corridors to see what I could salvage from the obstacle course race training. I so wasn’t looking forward to whatever Samuel’s retaliation would be for being late. He’d probably try to pair me with Zeke again to race. He thought the idea of it scared me, but he was wrong. I knew where my place was in all this vampire world business now, and nothing was taking
it away from me.
The stone-lined hallways did wonders for the acoustics in this building. I heard the voices long before I could even locate where they came from. Samuel’s voice was easy to pinpoint. At first, fear tingled down my spine thinking he had come in search of me. When I heard T.J.’s voice though, curiosity got the better of me. I peeked around the next hall. It was empty, bare with only the softening rays of the diluted sun peeping through the windows. I raised to my tiptoes and walked as quietly as I could until I was certain I was outside the room where the two voices emanated from.
I glanced around the doorway, but pulled back immediately. T.J. stood closest to the door facing the front of the room. His arms were crossed across his massive chest. Though he didn’t hold the same perfection vampires did, T.J. was still a sight to see. The sleeves of his black shirt clung tight to his massive biceps, and his close-cut hair screamed military. “We need to tell them,” he said. “We’re sitting ducks here, especially if the majority of us are going to be blind-sided by what’s going on.”
“What I’m trying to avoid is sheer panic,” Samuel said, sounding annoyed. I recognized the tone immediately. He wasn’t a very patient man. Then again, neither were most vampires.
“You don’t give them enough credit. So there are rogue vampires out there targeting guards? It’s nothing they won’t have to deal with when they graduate from The Fort anyway.”
“Isn’t that the point? When they graduate?” Samuel asked, his temper rising. “They’re not through with their training.”
“They have more training than the vampires. Nicolai—”
“I don’t care what Nicolai Ravana says,” Samuel charged ahead, his words clipped. “He’s not in charge of the guards’ well-being, is he?”