Forever Lo (Devil's Knights Book 9)

by Winter Travers

   We had started the day celebrating Remy and Harlyn getting married, then Turtle popping the question to Mal, and it ended with a shock that rocked the clubhouse to the core.

   My hands shook as I gripped the handlebars of my motorcycle and I glanced over at Rigid and Demon.

   We all felt the void.

   Turtle was gone, and he wasn’t going to come back.

   Life changed as we knew it, but none of us knew just how much it was going to change.

  *

  Meg

   My fingertips brushed Jonas’s sandy blonde hair from his forehead and sighed.

   I didn’t want him to wake up.

   Once he woke up, his whole world was going to be crushed.

   “Babe.”

   My eyes snapped to Lo standing in the doorway of the room all the kids were sleeping in. He had left two hours ago, and I have never been more relieved to see his handsome face.

   “Lo,” I croaked. I had been trying to hold back the flood of tears that had been threatening to flow since Lo got a call from the state trooper.

   “Let him sleep, babe. The sun is going to be up soon.”

   I looked back down at Jonas and stroked my fingers over his forehead. “Sleep well, little man.” The morning sunlight was only going to bring heartbreak.

   Lo pulled the door shut behind me when I finally tore myself away from Jonas. I launched myself into his arms and wrapped my body around him.

   He lifted me into his arms and carried me back to our bedroom. I buried my face in his neck and kept my arms wrapped around him when he tried to lay me down in the bed.

   “Babe, you gotta let me go,” he whispered in my ear.

   I shook my head. “No. I’m not letting you go. At least not right now.” The tears I had been trying so hard to hold back were now flowing and soaking Lo’s black tee.

   “Got my boots on, babe. Let me get them off and then I’ll be right back to you.”

   My arms tightened around him and I hiccupped. “Sleep in them.”

   Lo chuckled. “Thirty second, babe.” He grabbed my arms and pulled them from around his neck and I dropped onto the bed.

   I sniffled and wiped my nose with the back of my hand. “Hurry.”

   Losing someone close to you intensified the feeling to never let go of the people you loved.

   Lo toed off his boots, draped his cut over a chair, and turned off the lights. He pulled his shirt over his head as he made his way back to the bed and tossed it on the floor. He popped open the button on his jeans, dropped them to the floor, and climbed back into bed with me.

   “Not even thirty seconds,” he mumbled. He gathered me into his arms, rolled us under the covers, and I laid my head on his chest.

   “Are you okay?” I whispered into the dark.

   His voice was low and gruff. “Not even close.”

   I pressed my body as close to him as I could get. I was a complete mess too, but Lo needed me more right now. The urge to want to crawl under his skin and take away all of his pain was intense and all consuming. “It’s gonna be okay, honey.”

   “Is it?” he whispered. “There’s a three-year-old sleeping just down the hall. He doesn’t have a mom or dad anymore, Meg. He’s gonna wake up, and somehow you and I are going to have to tell him he’s never going to see them again.”

   My throat tightened, and I fought to pull in a breath. “He… he’s gonna…” I choked on my words and clamped my eyes shut. “He’s gonna be okay because he has us, Lo. He has you.”

   Lo buried his head in my hair and a sob racked his body. I scooted up, pulled out of his arms and wrapped my arms around him. Lo was the one who was always there for me when I fell apart, but now it was my turn to be there for him.

   The strongest man I had ever known was crumbling in my arms and the only thing I could do was hold on and pray to god that everything was going to be all right.

  *

  Chapter Thirteen

  Lo

   “He’s three, Lo.”

   I crossed my arms over my chest and watched Jonas play with his trains. “I know that, Meg. I’m just worried that he doesn’t understand what we told him.”

   “He doesn’t Lo.”

   I glanced over at Meg. “Are you trying to make me feel better about this?”

   She nodded her head. “Yes.”

   “Try harder, babe.” Nothing was going to make me feel better about any of this. “Turtle and Mal are dead, Jonas doesn’t have parents, and we have no idea what is going to happen with him.” Add on top of that we were planning two funerals. All things that none of us knew how to deal with.

   “Well, it’s barely been forty eight hours since the accident, Lo. You can’t expect everything to just figure itself out.” She sipped her coffee and kept her eyes on Jonas. “Roxanne, Mal’s partner at their law firm, will be here in a little bit.”

   “And why is she coming here?” I asked.

   Meg shrugged. “She said there were some things she needed to go over with us.”

   “You think we can talk to her about what is going on with Jonas?” Was he going to go into foster care? Did Mal have family that was going to want to raise Jonas?

   Meg glanced at me. “I planned on it.” She grabbed my hand and threaded her fingers through mine. “We’ll get it all figured out, honey.”

   I squeezed her hand and pulled it to my lips. I pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. “Wouldn't be able to do this without you, babe.”

   She smiled sadly. “I just wish we didn’t have to do any of this. I’d give anything to have Turtle and Mal back.”

   “You and me both,” I whispered.

   She sighed and rested her head on my shoulder. “So you got everything squared away with the funeral home?”

   I nodded my head. “Yeah. Service will be Thursday. We’re doing everything here at the clubhouse. Not sure if Mal would have liked that, but I know it’s what Turtle would have wanted.”

   “He was always here, you know? Even when you and I first got together. He was only a prospect, but you couldn’t tell.”

   “What are you talking about?” I chuckled. “Demon and Gambler had him wash their bikes every day for four months. The only reason they told him to stop was because he was taking off the paint with all of the scrubbing. I can’t tell you how many times Rigid had him dye his hair.” I shook my head and smiled. “Turtle did it all, too. Never complained. Never said no. He was the epitome of the perfect prospect.”

   “I can’t tell you how many times he put up with Cyn and I getting drunk. Remember the time I fell on him behind the bar?” Meg laughed and shook her head.

   “I think there was more than one time that you fell on him when you were drunk.” Turtle was always there for the girls. He was always there for everyone.

   “Mama Meg!” Jonas held up his train. “Wanna play?”

   Meg jumped up without a thought and dropped onto the floor with Jonas.

   She knew what to do with him. She knew how to make him feel like he wasn’t alone. She was what he needed right now.

   “King,” Gambler called. He was behind the bar and had a row of shot glasses in front of him. “For Turtle.”

   I ambled over to the bar and grabbed a shot. “Is this that nasty ass shit he liked to drink by the bottle?” I laughed.

   Demon nodded his head and lifted the shot to his nose. “Sure the hell is,” he grunted. He wrinkled his nose in disgust and held it away from him. “How the hell he drank rum mixed with Worcestershire sauce is fucking beyond me.”

   Rigid grabbed a shot. “Crazy fucker said it tasted like a fucking steak.”

   “Such a shame that Gravel is going to miss this,” I laughed.

   Gambler held up a shot. “Don’t worry, I saved him one.”

   Rigid called for Slider and we all gathered around the bar.

   We all raised
our glasses, and everyone looked to me.

   I cleared my throat. “To Turtle. The best brother we ever had. May we all be half the man he was.”

   Everyone grunted their agreeance and we all drank the offending shot.

   “God damn,” Rigid grimaced. “He was one hell of a guy, but he had some weird fucking tastes when it came to what tasted good.”

   I set my glass on the bar and grabbed a beer from Demon. I sat down on one of the stools and popped open the top. My eyes were on Meg. She was on her hands and knees pushing Jonas’s train around while he directed her where it needed to go when it needed to stop.

   Rigid and Slider sat on each side of me. “So how did everything at the funeral home go?” Rigid asked.

   I shrugged and took a long pull from my beer. “As good as can be expected when planning to bury your friend.” The words were so easy to say, but the feeling they gave me was stronger than a current trying to pull me under.

   The door to the clubhouse opened, and who I assumed was Roxanne walked in.

   “Who’s the suit?” Demon asked.

   I drained my beer and set it on the bar. “Chick who worked with Mal. She’s here to talk about some stuff.” I nodded to Rigid. “Think you could keep an eye on Jonas for me?”

   Rigid tipped his head to me. “You got it. The kids are watching a movie with Cyn. I’ll wrangle him in there.”

   Meg playfully chased Jonas over to us. “Time for the grownups to be boring,” she sang out.

   Rigid grabbed Jonas and swung him up in his arms. “Let’s go see what Cyn is up to, little dude.”

   “I wanna stay with Mama Meg,” Jonas insisted.

   Rigid screwed up his face and crossed his eyes. “You don’t want to hang out with me?” he asked with a fake lisp.

   Jonas giggled happily and laid his hands on either side of Rigid’s face. “You’re silly.”

   “Henk ew,” Rigid replied.

   Jonas let off another peel of laughter and Rigid carried him down the hallway before he realized he was leaving Meg.

   “You ready?” Meg asked.

   “As ready as I can be.” At this point I was just rolling with the punches and hoped the next punch didn’t completely knock me out.

  *

  Chapter Fourteen

  Meg

   “Did I leave you speechless?”

   Speechless wasn’t the right word.

   I was downright dumbfounded. “Us?” I whispered.

   Roxanne grabbed the papers in front of her and turned them to Lo and I. “Mal and Turtle both named you as who they want to take care of Jonas if something were to ever happen to them.”

   Megan Birch (Grain) and Logan Birch.

   Right there in writing.

   Lo and I were supposed to be the ones to take care of Jonas.

   What???

   “There isn’t any family they wanted to take care of Jonas?” Lo asked.

   Roxanne shook her head. “I asked them the same question when they drew up their wills two years ago, and they were both very specific that they wanted you two to take care of Jonas.”

   I glanced over at Lo, and his face was white as a sheet and he was staring at the paper as if he could change what the papers said.

   “So that’s it?” I whispered. I glanced up at Roxanne. “Jonas is ours?”

   Roxanne shrugged. “Technically all of this will have to go through courts and what not, but yes, Jonas is now in your custody. The only reason a judge would not agree with Mal and Turtle’s wishes is if you two were unfit or dead.” She grabbed the papers back and tucked them in a manila folder. “Neither of those are true.” Her voice had cracked on the word dead and I finally saw Roxanne as a person and not just a lawyer reading off a piece of paper.

   “I’m sorry,” I blurted out.

   Roxanne looked startled. “About?”

   “You lost a friend too. You saw Mal almost every day.”

   She cleared her throat and handed the manila folder to me. “She was my coworker.” Her eyes darted down to the table in front of her. “And my friend.”

  “So what do we do next?” Lo asked. “Can we hire you to take care of everything for us? We really have no idea what we’re doing.” Lo was clueless to the fact Roxanne was hurting just as much as we were.

  Roxanne nodded her head and her lawyer mask slid back into place. “I can represent you with all the filings and hearings. These things tend to move at a snail’s pace so if you don’t hear from me, just know I’m waiting as well.” She gathered up her papers and put them back in her briefcase. “Do you know when the funeral will be?”

   “Uh, it’ll all be here on Thursday. Five o’clock it all starts.” Lo grunted.

   “Oh, not at the funeral home?” Roxanne asked.

   I shook my head. “With both Mal and Turtle being cremated, it felt right to have it here at the clubhouse since there won’t be caskets.”

   Roxanne smiled sadly. “Mal would like that. Turtle and her were complete opposites, but she loved talking about the club and how you guys had become here family.”

   “We felt the same way.” I choked on my words and fought back tears. “We loved having her around.”

   Roxanne pressed her lips together and sniffled. “I’ll see you guys Thursday. I’ll let you know if anything comes up before then.”

   Lo and I said our goodbyes to Roxanne and watched her walk out the door.

   “Did that just happen, babe?” Lo asked softly.

   I looked down at the folder in front of me. “For a split second yesterday I hoped Jonas could just stay with us, but now that it’s a reality, I’m freaking out at the fact that I’m going to go through the toddler years and everything else again.” I glanced at Lo. “I have a twenty-seven-year-old who just got married, and now I have a three-year-old.” This was all so crazy that I just wanted to laugh.

   Seventy-two hours ago I was a married woman living her best years with a grown son who called three times a week.

   Now was I forty-six with a three-year-old.

   Holy shit.

   “I’m forty-five and have a three-year-old.”

   A laugh escaped my lips. “When Jonas graduates high school, we'll be in our sixties.” I buried my face in my hands and laughed hysterically. “We’re gonna pull up to the school with our walkers and oxygen tanks.”

   Lo barked with laughter. “Speak for yourself, babe. I’m younger than you.”

   “By a year,” I wheezed. “Oh my god, Lo, we’re gonna be the old parents on the field trips.”

   “You are going to be the old parents on the field trip.” I folded my arms over my chest. “I’m gonna leave all of that up to you.”

   I quirked my eyebrow at him. “Oh yeah? What if Jonas says he wants Papa Lo to go with him to the apple farm or the museum?”

   “Woman,” he growled. “That shit is not going to happen.”

   I sighed and sat back in my chair. “We’ll see about that, handsome.” I looked around the clubhouse and smiled. “This has to be the weirdest emotions I have ever felt. I’m sad we lost two of our friends, but I’m happy Jonas won’t leave us. He’ll have the club as his family.”

   Lo grabbed my hand. “I’m fucking terrified, babe, but I know I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone but you.” He pressed a kiss to the back of my hand. “Life has always been crazy since the day I met you, so why wouldn’t this be any different.”

   “I feel like that was kind of a backhanded compliment, but I’m going to accept it and say I love you, too.” I scooted closer to him and laid my head on his shoulder. “Tell me this is all a dream, Lo. Mal and Turtle are going to walk through that door and Jonas will have his mom and dad back.”

   “That is one thing I wish I could do, babe, but I don’t think it’s going to happen.”

   I sighed and closed my eyes. “Then I guess it’s you, me, and the
club raising a three-year-old then.”

  *

  Chapter Fifteen

  Lo

   “Let’s not do this again.”

   I raised my head and watched Demon walk toward me. He had a bottle in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other.

   “What are you doing out here?” I asked.

   Demon sat down next to me and tipped the bottle toward me. “Felt like I was fucking suffocating in there. Needed some air.”

   I grabbed the bottle and took a swig. “Same,” I grunted.

   The memorial service was over and now everyone was hanging around reminiscing about Turtle and Mal while alcohol flowed freely trying to help numb everyone's pain. Jonas had been glued to Meg’s side all day, and it killed me to realize that I think he was finally understanding that his mom and dad weren’t coming back.

   “So, now what?” Demon asked. He stared into the darkness and took a drag off his cigarette. “We go back to normal but with a huge hole where Mal and Turtle used to be?”

   Demon’s words stung deep, and I held my breath. Tears had been threatening to fall all day, but I had to be the strong one for the club. I had to be the one who saw the hope we all needed too much.

   I had to be strong, but my strength was wavering as the day dragged into night.

   “He loved this club with everything he had, King.” Demon laughed flatly. “Hell, I think he loved this club more than anyone.”

   “We were his family,” I choked out. “We were there when he didn’t have anyone, and in return he was there for us for the rest of his life. I could always rely on Turtle. No matter what, when, or how, I knew he would be there as soon as I called him. I didn’t know it then, but now I know he was the best guy I ever knew. He knew what this club stood for, and he protected it fiercely.”

   Demon clapped me on the shoulder and I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling.

   Turtle was gone, and nothing was ever going to bring him back.