Hanging on (Jessica Brodie Diaries #2)

by K. F. Breene

  William and Adam leaned in to view.

  "I would have to go with Betsy's. It suits," Adam said quietly.

  "Hah!" Lump said.

  "Thank you very little, Adam," I told him, turning to William.

  "Jessica's, and not because she'll kill me if I picked Lump's," He said laughing.

  I got the votes from the sales women and gloated.

  "Just average and generic," Lump remarked to darken my win.

  "Yes you are, Lump, but I didn't want to say it to your face."

  Adam barked out laughter, apparently not realizing that he should always be ready for my fantastic sense of humor. I said as much. The second laugh didn’t sound like it was in my favor…

  We gave back the rings smiling and headed for the door.

  “I’ll be right there. Gotta get a present,” Adam was lingering at the counter.

  “William, maybe you should join him,” I said in jest, lacing my fingers into William’s big hand.

  “I already got you something.”

  “You did?”

  Lump rolled her eyes at my excitement.

  “Yeah, coal. You’re welcome in advance.”

  “Har har.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The next day I called Adam and met him out at his ranch with Lump in tow. I told him not to let William know anything about it. Adam sounded wary, but told me how to get to where he was.

  As we drove around the ranch house on a bunch of dirt, we saw Adam in the back of his truck forking hay into troughs for horses. He was working in a tank top and was sweaty from the exertion. I could go into how the sun was glistening off his body and his muscles were playing across his shoulders and back, but that would be wrong. I'll just say that Lump saw all that, and drooled.

  Mental note: hang out with William next time he was doing his chores.

  "Wow," Lump breathed.

  "I do not know to what you are referring..." I said carefully.

  "Yeah, right. Christ he is good looking. Look at that body. If only we were in any way compatible."

  "What happened with your dude last night?" I asked, suddenly remembering that they were going to have a talk.

  "Oh. I didn’t meet him. We are going to see each other tonight." Lump was still staring at Adam. The car was parked and we had yet to get out. Adam was looking at us with a cross between a guarded expression, and curiosity for us sitting in the car looking at him.

  “Don’t break it off for no reason, Lump.”

  She stopped looking at Adam and met my eyes. Then nodded once.

  It was the age old problem with Lump. She met a guy she might be happy with, then got scared and ran. She was enlightened enough to know that she did it, but said that if they were good enough, she wouldn't be able to leave. Then she'd know.

  I always asked the question, "What if they’re good, but you run anyway?"

  She always just shrugged.

  We got out of the car and said hello to an impatient Adam.

  “Sorry Adam,” I said. “Girl talk.”

  “Uh huh.”

  “Listen, I really need to get a Christmas present for William that he will like. And I overheard you talking to him yesterday about some bull, or blood line, or something that he wants but can’t get. I was wondering if you could give me some more information?”

  Adam looked at me like I was bat shit crazy. “Look, I need to get all this done while it’s still light.” He pointed to the large pile of hay that still needed to be shoveled.

  “We’ll help,” Lump spoke up quickly.

  “What?” Adam and I said at the same time.

  Lump turned to me. “We’re asking for something, he needs something. We’ll swap. Get the blood flowing.”

  “But Lump, you don’t even need anything. I just want you along to help seduce the cowboy fellow into selling me that bull.”

  “If you want my help, you will shovel.”

  “But—“

  “My help equals shovel."

  I looked back at Adam. He had a smirk playing around his face, waiting for my decision.

  “Is this funny to you? My being cajoled into hard labor? In work clothes?”

  “Yup. She’s got you figured out.”

  “Oh shut up. Fine. Give me a freaking shovel. P.S. I hate both of you!”

  Adam still had a smirk on his face, but this time he was talking to Lump. “It’s hard work.”

  “Good,” Lump said. “I need something to occupy my hands so my mind can’t wander.”

  “My mind is fine,” I muttered.

  Adam nodded like he knew exactly what she was saying, and of course, ignored me completely. I was used to it.

  He pointed to where the forks were. Lump went and got a couple, handing me one. She stripped off her cute, long-sleeved shirt down to her tiny singlet and got to work.

  I followed suit, down to a tiny tee-shirt. It wasn’t something I would have worn had I known I would be working, but I apparently had no choice.

  “So, you want to buy our Willie a bull, huh?” Adam asked.

  “Yeah.” I was already out of breath. He wasn’t kidding—it was hard work. Forced hard work at that!

  “It will cost you a pretty penny.”

  “How much, roughly?”

  “Willie offered five, I think.”

  “Hundred? For a bull?”

  “Thousand. For a blood line.”

  Thousand?

  “Yiks, Jess,” Lump said between shovels. She was going at it like the world would end unless we finished by dark. Adam was working hard at it, too.

  “He is worth it.” I huffed.

  Adam stopped for a minute and analyzed me. “Jess, do you have that kind of money?”

  “Adam,” I said, using speech as an excuse to stop. “I am—“

  “Keep working,” Lump cut me off.

  “Dang it! Why is it so important to you that I sweat?”

  “Because I know you hate it, which makes it funny.”

  “It is not funny,” I sulked, getting back to work and ignoring Adam’s loud and irritating guffaws.

  “As I was saying,” I panted, “I am finally going to break down and buy a car with my Christmas bonus—I’m sorry I took so long. But, thanks to you, and thanks to William buying me dinner and stuff, I have saved a bit. I can swing it.”

  “I weren’t talkin’ about the car. You can buy it off me for worth if you want. I was just wonderin’ if you’re going to spend all your dad-gum money on a bull that is a farmer’s whim?”

  I straightened up and wiped the sweat from my brow. “Well, uh...I thought he said he wanted it for blood lines or something?”

  “He does.”

  “Well, then he wants it. It isn’t a whim. Right?”

  “The blood line might be useless. It might not pan out. The bull might turn out wit’ defects. Nothing’s certain. He don’t need it—it’s a whim.”

  “Well, yeah but, it might turn into a magical mystery bull filled with candy. Regardless, he wants it. It is important to him and it is his passion. So...I just don’t understand why you are so uptight about what presents I buy him. Do you want the bull or something?”

  Adam blew out a big breath. “No, I don’t want the bull. It’s your hard earned money, Jessica. A whim to him ain’t all that dear to his wallet. But it’s all your money. You might be throwing it away, then you’ll have nuthin.”

  “Is that what you are worried about? Me being broke?” I laughed and got back to work. “Adam, welcome to the life of the not rich or famous. I work for a living. I’ll just save it up again. Money comes in, and more usually goes out. Like I said, he is worth it, whim or not. Plus, without him buying everything I couldn’t have saved that much, anyway. I think he’ll be excited about it!”

  I was getting excited to see his excitement. I was one of those irritating people that loved to give so I could see the expressions of people’s faces when they got what they wanted. Especially as a surprise!

  “Wel
l,” Adam said as he got back to work. “If you really want it, I’ll try and help you get it. It’ll take a lotta sweet talkin’ to get that rancher to sell it. He is a stubborn ol’ crow.”

  We all got back to shoveling. The sun was setting so we started to work faster. Lump was sweating like a man, Adam starting to smell. I wasn’t as fresh as a daisy, either.

  Just as dusk hit, Lump shoveled the last bit into the trough. There was space for about ten horses in this barn—or maybe cows?—but I didn’t see any animals. For fear of more work, I was not going to ask!

  “Hey Adam,” I said, joining him in sitting on the tailgate of the truck.

  “Yup?”

  “Did you really mean it about your car?”

  “Course.”

  “For reals?”

  “What?”

  “Well... I have some questions.”

  He looked at me, blinking one eye against the last rays of the sun, smiling at my candor. “Shoot.”

  “Okay, how much are you talking?”

  He got serious. “Well, I reckon I’ll charge you 10% above blue book. Plus sexual slavery.”

  “Ew.” I pushed him. He laughed and pulled me into a nuggie, putting his arm around my head like a head lock then rubbing the top of my head with his fist. I pushed him off and punched him in the arm.

  “Okay, gross! You stink!”

  He laughed harder and laid back in the truck. “You Californian’s are sum’n else.”

  “Right. Whatever. We are talking business.”

  “Oh sorry.” He put his hands on his chest, laying back. “I don’t know what it is worth, Jess. You can look it up online and give me what you think is fair.”

  “Okay. Next. Will you wait until my Christmas bonus?”

  “No.”

  “Great, I’ll take that as a yes. Now, I probably can’t do it all at once. If I pay you interest, compounded annually, can I pay it off in installments?”

  “Compounded semi-annually, and only then with the favors.”

  “Dude, you need to get laid.”

  He laughed again and sat up. “What’s the point in asking me to do business? You just tell me what you want anyway!”

  “Well, I know better than you, obviously. Look, all you’ve done in life is create a prosperous ranch from the ground up. Sure, you might have a few horses and other mangy animals. Okay, you might even have a car or three. Maybe a house. But you haven’t yet come close to the mastery of business and money that I have in my pinkie finger.” I held up my pinkie finger to show him.

  “It’s true,” Lump joined in. “I have seen the mastery in action, and it would astound you. She can take something with monetary value, and walk away with it in her possession having paid nothing for it!”

  “Exactly. Possession is 9/10’s of the law.”

  Adam jumped up and shook his head. He then promptly pushed me off the tailgate so he could close it. I staggered away only to pick up a dirt clod to throw at him.

  “Alright ladies, thanks for helpin’. There is plenty to do if you want to come back,” He said with humor.

  “Would you mind?” Lump asked seriously.

  “Uh...” Adam tried to see her through the growing darkness. “No, if you want. I can’t always be here, but my ranch hand can show you around if you want.”

  “Thanks, Adam. I might take you up on that. I need some real work away from the city and all its problems.”

  Adam paused for a second. “You gals comin’ to Willie’s for bull ridin’?”

  “Yeah, I was supposed to head out there for that. Ty going to be there?” I asked.

  “A-yup. How about you, bruiser?” Adam said to Lump. “Wanna get on a bull and see how much a man you really are?”

  It was the first time Adam openly joked with Lump. It was nice to see the real Adam around her. I had missed that guy.

  “I’m down. I have to grab my strap-on from the car, but I think I can handle it.”

  “T.M.I.” Adam shook his head with a grin. “Too. Much. Info all around. See y’all there.”

  Once in the car, I thought it time to confront an issue.

  “Lump, what’s going on?”

  “With what?”

  “You aren’t happy. You want to work on a ranch. You just aren’t you. What’s going on?”

  She sighed deeply and looked out the window on her left. Brush and trees flew by. “I don’t know, Jessica. Something is missing. I just don’t know what it is. Living with Gladis is fine. It’s a room in a nice house where she treats me well and cooks for me. It’s better than all my past living situations, so that can’t be it.

  “I am closer to you than I ever have been to a friend. I have a good time with you, Willie, and all his friends. I have no problems there, so that can’t be it. I have kind of a crap job, but I am in line for a huge promotion to a job I actually want to do, so that is good. The pay will help me out a lot. Job front is still not worse than I’ve had, so that can’t be it.”

  Lump leaned her head against the window, despondent. “I am in a new city that is exciting with a great group of people, so it can’t be the surroundings. But, something is still wrong. Something doesn’t fit.”

  Her voice was straining as if she wanted to cry. Her hands were balled on her lap and she was working at keeping her breathing slow and even.

  “What about if you go back to L.A.?” I asked in trepidation. It would greatly suck for me, but she couldn’t go on like this. She had to figure this out.

  “I couldn’t imagine going back. I couldn’t imagine going anywhere else. Something is keeping me here, but I don’t know what it is. I don’t know how to flip the magnet so I fit like a bug-in-a-rug instead of a square peg in a round hole.”

  Lump was always thinking with the third eye. Women’s intuition, if you will. When she had a feeling, she listened to it. Pity it was keeping her in misery rather than leading the way out of it.

  “Well...have you thought about the man front?” I asked quietly.

  “A lot. You’ve seen how many men I’ve gone through. I’ve met a few that are keepers. I’m dating one now that is a keeper, for the most part. But they just aren’t it. They are making me more listless if anything. I just don’t know. It’s killing me! I hate being unsettled.”

  “You’ll find him, Lump. You’ll find him. Maybe that will be the last piece of the puzzle. Then...”

  “Then what?”

  “Then you become a grown-up! Dommmm dommm dommmmmmm.” I laughed.

  Too serious for too long would only make her dwell on it more than she already was.

  We arrived at the ranch and parked among the cars. The lights were on and the boys were already riding.

  “This is bull riding, huh? In the flesh?” Lump asked, looking out at a smaller man nose-diving off the back of a jumping bull.

  “Not the pros, but yes. Have you seen it before?”

  “On TV, yeah. Never in real life, though. Oh, and David is coming tonight.”

  “Oh.” David, Lump’s man, was decent, but I didn’t crave his company. It wasn’t as much work as Adam’s woman, but still, I was tired and cranky and didn’t want to chat to someone I barely knew that I didn’t find all that interesting. I was glad to be out of the dating circuit.

  We got out and walked toward the area where our boys were. Adam saw us walk up, but he had his professional face on. William followed his gaze and furrowed his brow at our appearance. He went back to what he was doing as Lump’s phone chirped with a message.

  “Do you want me to show you the bulls up close?” I asked Lump.

  William turned around again. I put my hands up to show him I was not going to do anything rash. “I just want to show her, babe,” I said to fend off the look. “I won’t touch or bother them or anything. She should see how big they are up close, you know?”

  He nodded and turned back around. Jeez. These boys were so serious at these things! William hated me coming because he was afraid his friends would talk me into ridin
g again when he wasn’t looking. I hated coming for the same reason.

  I led Lump around the ring to the back pen area. As we got up closer I heard her intake of breath.

  “Christ. These bastards are huge!” she said in surprise.

  “I know, right?! We have to take you to a rodeo. It is a sight! Though, maybe we could skip the dance after...” The shadows of my past poked out at the thought.

  Lump looked at me with concern. She didn’t say anything, but looked back at the animals and stepped a bit closer. One of the bulls slowly looked up, aware of her presence and now feeling the need to point that out with a level stare.

  I took a step back. Lump just smiled and shook her head.

  “I can see why these boys do this. What a rush it must be!” She smiled in jubilation.

  “Lump, sometimes you can be a real dude, you know?” I said in exasperation.

  Her phone chirped again.

  “He’s here,” she said blandly.

  David wouldn’t last much longer. She had already distanced herself. It was step one in her unconscious exit strategy.

  “Hey Lump,” David said as we walked up.

  They exchanged a quick kiss before Lump turned back to watch what was going on. A tiny cowboy was on a steer, hoping in a straight line through the arena. He looked like a rag doll. I wondered if that was how I looked when I rode. Thank God no one had a picture!

  David made some small talk that never went anywhere—I wasn’t helping much. I felt a little bad about it, but he was on borrowed time anyway. Lump, for her part, hardly tried to keep him involved. She was loving the riding, monitoring everything the boys were doing, and being slightly rude to David because of it. I could see the clench in his jaw, but he didn’t say anything about it. After a while he didn’t say anything at all.

  Why didn’t she just put him out of his misery?

  The cowboys rode and fell, rode and fell. The bigger guys were showing up and William was swapping around bulls. Bigger bulls starting coming out to match the better riders. Lump inched up toward the ring to get a better look, excited by their size and power.

  After a handful it was time for William’s breeding project. He was trying a few new bulls tonight. Ty tried the first and rode the crap out of it. He finally hoped off on his own accord and shook his head. William kicked at the ground in frustration.