“Would appreciate it.”
Just hearing Mik’s voice warms me and reduces the panic that has been building in me since I was dragged into the van.
There must be some sort of intercom system in the house and Stu is using it so Brendan can hear his conversation with Mik. I frantically resume my search for where the noise is coming from. Maybe I can use it to alert him that I am here, no matter what Stu is saying. I locate the intercom pad and bide my time, forcing my body to relax so I can lull Brendan into loosening his hold. My hopes of that are dashed immediately.
“Did you let that dirty biker fuck you? Did you let him inside your body, where only I have been? Let that trash touch what is mine?”
I close my eyes so he can’t see the truth in them and ignore his probing questions.
When he showed me the telescope, I wasn’t sure if he knew Mik and I were seeing each other or if he thought I’d moved into Mik’s house because I was running scared. Now he knows that we are in a relationship, I’m apprehensive that he might kill me if I confirm we have slept together. I don’t want to cement my death—or Mik’s—by confirming that I have slept with anyone but him. My sense of self-preservation runs deep with Brendan and I will never willingly let him know how wrong his assumptions have always been.
He doesn’t speak again even though I can feel him practically pulsing with rage on top of me. He has left my hands free and hasn’t pinned me with his entire weight. I figure it’s now or never to test whether he’s telling the truth about the room being sound proof.
Pushing against his torso with as much strength as I can, I buck my hips to the opposite side that I want to run. My movements take Brendan by surprise and he topples off of the side of the bed and onto the floor. I quickly crawl off the bed.
“MIK! I’M HERE! HELP ME, HELP ME!” I yell repeatedly at the top of my lungs while I lunge for the intercom button. I get my fingers on it but as I press it, Brendan tackles me.
“MIK!”
I scream his name one last time before my body hits the heavy antique dresser. My head bounces off the floor and I see stars for the umpteenth time tonight. Wrapping my hair around his fist, he wrenches my face from the floor and slaps me across the mouth. My already split lip drips blood down my chin once again. Every part of my body aches.
“Stop defying me!” Brendan orders. “I don't want to hurt…”
“Here you go. This is the phone I found.” Stu’s echoing voice cuts off Brendan.
This damn room must be sound proof if Mik’s still waiting for my phone. He'd be beating down the door to this room otherwise. My heart drops. I’m stuck here and the realisation scares me witless.
“It’s hers alright. Thanks for picking the phone up. Where exactly did you find it?” Mik asks, sounding suspicious. I can imagine his mind going a million miles a minute, trying to work out how I have ended up separated from my phone. Since I became independent, my Dad has drummed it into my head not to go anywhere without my phone. Mik has always reiterated the same need for me to keep my phone on me at all times.
Hearing him mention tracking my phone’s GPS makes me understand their demand, either my paranoid father or my equally paranoid fiancé have put a tracker in my phone without telling me. Usually, I'd be upset at their deception but their fears have been proven valid by the situation I’m in right now. At this moment, I would agree to have a tracking device implanted under my skin if it got me away from Brendan.
“I found it over where the walking trail branches off from the playground,” Stu says, deliberately leading Mik to the opposite end of the nature reserve between this house and ours.
“Do you need any help looking for your fiancée? Maybe she’s with an old friend and hasn't realized she's dropped her phone.” Stu’s smug voice makes my blood boil.
“Thanks man, but I’ll be alright.”
“What does she look like in case I come across her?” Stu asks.
He sounds like a concerned neighbour but I can tell he’s enjoying his game.
“I doubt you’ll see her but she’s a bit shorter than me with long blonde hair. She’s wearing a dark grey suit skirt with a blue shirt and heels. You’ll know if you see her, she’s hard to miss. She’s fucking beautiful.”
Mik sounds pissed that his GPS tracking hasn’t found me but I can tell he’s suspicions regarding Stu, even though he’s not making Stu aware of it. I just want to run out of this room and tell him that he has found me before leaping into his strong, safe arms so he can take me away from this nightmare.
“Mik, I’m here. Come save me,” I whisper and the tears I have been fighting return, running down my face.
“Just shut up about him, Lainey. You're here with me now,” Brendan tells me in a tight voice.
He drags me by my arm towards the bed as the intercom cuts in again.
“Sounds like a woman you wouldn’t want to lose,” Stu states, dryly. “I’ll let you get going so you can find her.”
“Yeah, cheers.”
The front door shuts, the alarm system is set and then Stu speaks again.
“You get all that, boss?”
Brendan lets go of me and I fall to the floor as he stalks to the intercom panel. He stares at me with undisguised longing as he answers Stu.
“Roger that. I need you to bring me some ice packs, wrap them in something first. Also arrange some food and leave it at the door. My woman and I have some catching up to do.”
“Copy that.”
Brendan bends down and scoops me up. The movement causes me to whimper in pain and he shushes me before he places me on the bed. He sits by my side and strokes my hair. He croons to me in an understanding and gentle tone.
“You’re a silly girl if you think I’m going to let you go again. All you’re going to achieve by fighting me is hurting yourself. You need to let go of that biker trash you are so infatuated with. Now I know what you’ve done to me, I’m just going to have to fill every tight hole you have with my come over and over, until I’m certain I’ve washed away his filthy touch.”
I shiver in fear at his threat. I don't want him anywhere near my body ever again. He leans down and licks my tears from my cheeks. He gets off on my pain, I've always believed that, and his current actions reaffirm my belief.
“He’s the reason we had problems to begin with. He needs to be permanently removed from our lives for even thinking he can touch you. You're mine and mine only. Once he’s gone, you’ll commit to me. He’s the only thing between us. He always has been.”
“No, please don’t hurt him,” I plead through my tears. The last thing I need is for Mik to get hurt because of me. My head is throbbing and my eyesight in fading in and out. My body and mind are so tired. I don't have the energy left to deal with Brendan's threats but I still give it a try.
“I’ll commit to you if you leave him alone.”
CHAPTER FIVE
Lainey
Five Years Earlier
“I want you to wear this ring so we can show everyone that we are committed to each other.”
Brendan rolls onto his side and smiles at me eagerly. We’re lying on his swag in the tray of his four wheel drive truck talking about random things and looking at the stars in the clear, night sky. We went out to dinner with some of his friends earlier tonight and now we’re just chilling out at the front of my house until my midnight curfew.
“It was one of my nana’s rings so it’s really special to me. I know it's your favourite stone. You'll love it, Maddi.”
I gaze at Brendan a little stupidly, completely taken by surprise. Pulling myself up so I can examine the ring he is holding, I find a gold ring with a tastefully sized sapphire in the middle and three smaller sapphires embedded in the band on either side of the main stone. Sapphire is my favourite gemstone but I'm surprised he knows that.
The ring is exquisite and I'm certain it's really, really expensive.
“I don’t think…” I begin before he cuts me off with a finger to my lips. S
itting up, he pulls me closer to him and then holds my left hand with a grip that makes me think he’s afraid I'm going to run away.
“I know you’ll think this is coming out of nowhere but it's not. I’m certain you’re the only one for me and I want some way of telling the world that you are mine. At least until you turn eighteen and I can make it official. I’m in love with you, Maddi. Promise you'll be mine forever,” he pleads with an urgency in his voice that I’ve never heard before.
Until this moment, I thought that the three months we’d spent together had been pretty casual. Brendan pushed to label us at the start but once he'd met my resistance, he had backed away from the idea. We go out together once or twice a week, usually in a group, and Brendan drives out to my family’s small hobby farm after I finish school nearly every evening—even when I tell him I’m too busy studying to see him—but none of that made me think we were this serious. Hell, I feel claustrophobic, and slightly annoyed, when he comes over when I tell him I'm busy and simply sits on my bed watching me work through my textbooks.
We’ve had some mild make out sessions but nothing significant. I’m not ready to go the whole way with anyone and even though he pouts and pushes the point when we've been drinking, he seems to respect my decision. If anything, I think he sees me as a challenge and that puts me off of him a bit.
Because of the risk of being labelled a prude or old-fashioned, I’ve never told anyone other than Wendy what I want romance wise. It might sound like I'm chasing a dream but I want a love like my parents shared. I want to feel exactly how my mother felt for my father. Just like my mother, I want to feel a million butterflies in my tummy and for my heart to start racing when I look at the man I fall in love with.
I want to feel lost when he isn't with me.
I want to feel safe but completely alive when I am with him.
I want to feel everything she described and more.
And I don't feel that with Brendan.
I find him attractive but the initial sparks he gave me have diminished as I've come to know him better. We just don't have enough in common. He likes the more refined things in life and as hard as I try to fit in with him, I'm still at my happiest when I'm surrounded by grease and motorcycle parts in my Dad’s shed. I'm nowhere close to being in love with him.
“You're right. I do think this is coming out of nowhere.” I laugh nervously, pulling my hand from his. I’m bewildered by his declaration and baffled as to how I'm supposed to handle it. “I'm sorry but I didn't realize that we were getting to this stage. I'm not getting engaged to you, Brendan, not at seventeen or once I'm eighteen. I’m really surprised that you're asking me.”
I try to soften my words with soft eyes and a soothing smile. I don’t want to offend him or hurt his feelings but I’m not going to lie about how I feel either.
“I’m not talking about getting engaged yet, silly girl. I simply want to make what's between us official. I want a symbol that shows everyone you're with me. This is a commitment ring not an engagement ring.”
Embarrassment makes my face redden when he explains his intentions. His words caused me to assume that he was talking engagement. I feel dumb so I ignore the way the word ‘yet’ rattles around my brain in alarm and concentrate on everything else he said.
Do I want to make us official? What is this us he's talking about? We are more than friends but am I ready to commit to being half of a couple?
Making a snap decision, I reply decisively. “Well I feel kind of stupid for jumping to conclusions. I haven't really put too much thought into this but I suppose there is no harm in wearing your ring and seeing where this goes.”
I move to take the ring from him so I can slide it on my finger but he stops me by jerking his hand back so I can’t reach the ring. He laughs at me mockingly. I hate this laugh—having been on the receiving end of it a few times now—since I only hear it when Brendan’s making it known that he thinks because he's older than me, he is therefore smarter and that I'm wrong and he's right.
“Don't you think you’re kind of messed up, Maddi? Aren't I supposed to be the commitment-phobe and you the one pushing to make things official? Jesus, it's not like I'm not a catch. Every single girl you know would give anything to be sitting where you are.”
Since I don't possess an answer to his questions that isn't going to make me sound like a huge loser, I stay silent. He grasps my left hand gently and starts to slide the ring onto my ring finger. I pull my hand back and give him my right hand.
“I’d feel more comfortable wearing it on my right hand,” I say quietly.
He silently pleads with me with his hurt, hang dog eyes but I do not budge on my request. After a pause that seems to stretch for eternity, he finally slides the ring onto my right hand ring finger. It fits perfectly and looks gorgeous although a perverse feeling of being shackled floods me. I hold my hand closer to my face and really look at it. The ring is beautiful and looks good on my otherwise unadorned hand.
In reality, it’s the only jewellery I’m wearing aside from my diamond and sapphire studs that Mik gave me for my sixteenth birthday and my heart shaped gold locket and chain with my parents wedding picture in it. The locket used to be my mothers and is really special to me. Even though I'm not a jewellery type of girl I never take it or my earrings off.
An awkward silence grows between us until Brendan speaks. “Eventually I'm going to make you break out of this holding pattern you have us in, Maddi.”
Ire rises within me at his words and I reply with indignation.
“I’m seventeen, Brendan, not twenty-two. I have plans for my life and I'm not willing to let anything get in the way.” Narrowing my eyes, I continue with irritation evident in my sharp tone, “You know being accepted to study law in Brisbane next year is my only goal right now. So forgive me for not being sure where getting serious with you can fit into that when you live here.”
I’ve talked a lot about my plans for heading to Brisbane for university at the end of this year. I thought he understood but obviously not.
“I get that, and I want to support you with everything you’re planning, like a boyfriend should. I want to go to Brisbane with you. I have nothing holding me here until my Dad gets too old to work our land by himself and by then you will have your degree and plenty of experience so we can work out our next move.”
He stares at me, his gorgeous brown eyes pleading.
Warmth spreads through me. He has put some serious thought into our future so even though I feel like he is trying to bulldoze me, I also feel like a bitch for never factoring him into my plans past the end of this year. I simply assumed I would head to Brisbane for university and he would stay here. My lack of growing feelings for him, coupled with my assumptions, have let me create an inbuilt expiry date for our relationship.
“I know you don’t feel the same about me yet but you will. As you just pointed out, I’m older than you. That means I can appreciate what we have more than you can. Feelings grow and yours will. I'll make sure of it.”
Hopes shines from his eyes as he seduces me with the words every girl wants to hear, especially from a man who looks like Brendan and comes from a family like his. Knowing that he has laid everything on the table for me, I feel as if some type of positive response is required so I climb onto his lap and give him a hard kiss on the lips. His strong arms close around me tightly.
“I feel like a complete bitch for what I just said. I'm sorry. And you're right, I’m not in love with you but I do have feelings for you.”
He gives me a small grin and I can see that he is growing excited by my honesty.
“I want to see where this relationship goes so I'll try to forget about next year and concentrate on now. We can make decisions about our future when the time comes.”
Disappointment trumps his excitement by the time I've finished speaking. He isn’t completely satisfied with my answer but I don't have it in me to lie about my feelings and how I see our future just to appease him. I
make myself mentally shrug off his dissatisfaction, choosing to concentrate on the fact that I have smoothed over our first disagreement instead.
To be honest the fierceness in the way he is hugging me to him makes me feel pretty special, so I send up a prayer that I will develop deeper feelings for him soon. He's absolutely right. Every girl I know would kill to be in my shoes, which makes me feel weird because, once again I'm not reacting like a normal girl.
Still hugging me, Brendan states in a serious tone, “Now that we are official, I think you should stay home with me this weekend instead of going with your family to that birthday party.”
I pull away from him, confused. This weekend is Mik’s twenty-sixth birthday and there is no way I am missing that.
“Why would I do that?” I pull out of his arms and stare at him in confusion. He can't be serious. “It’s my best friend’s birthday. We’ll be okay spending a weekend apart.”
After I speak I laugh because I realize that he can't be serious and anger clouds his features. Grabbing me firmly by the tops of my arms, he glares into my eyes menacingly.
“You just said that you’re my woman now. That means you don’t get to go away and mess around with other men. Who knows what you’ll get up to without me there? I know you have a past with this Mik you’re always talking about but now that you’re wearing my ring it has to stop!”
I fall still with shock at the venom in his words. In my head I mentally correct him his assumption that I agreed to be his woman. I said no such thing. I agreed to try having a relationship with him. Not wanting to escalate our disagreement, I let it slide for now.
While Brendan isn't shouting at me, his face is so close to mine that I can feel his hot breath punctuating each word he says. His eyes are boring into mine with rage and his grip around my arms has tightened painfully, hard enough to leave bruises. When I don't answer his accusations straight away, he shakes me as if I'm a rag doll, making my teeth to snap together. Jerking my head as far from him as I can, I place my palms against his chest and try to push him away from me.
Seizing Control Page 5