Seizing Control

by Kylie Hillman

  I don't spell out the fact that there’s no way I'm letting her sleep with this fucker if I can help it.

  He nods in agreement. “I’d wait until the day after our party though. You know she hates the scenes Dad causes when he smacks some shithead down. She’s gonna get pissed if you fuck him up with an audience.”

  We both grin at each other remembering the last time Beast knocked some handsy asshole out for her and she tore him a new one in front of everyone for not letting her handle it discreetly herself. She's a firecracker, even Beasts backs down when she starts telling him off.

  “Sounds like a plan, brother.”

  We'd slapped each other on the back and kicked back with another beer, silently congratulating ourselves on our fucking foolproof plan.

  Beep, beep. My phone goes off, pulling me from my thoughts of how we got to tonight. Rolling onto my side, I grab my phone. I can't wait to see her so hopefully she's already on her way. My hopes are dashed when I check the message and it's not from Lainey.

  Where the fuck is she? How long does it take to tell someone it's fucking over?

  BENJI: Heads up. Party's been shut down by the cops. Everyone's heading back. Make sure M’s car is out of Dad's way. He’ll gut ya if he catches ya giving her one LOL.

  What the actual fuck? I scroll and check my last message to her. It says ‘delivered’ so she must have got it. Why hasn't she fucking replied? Has she changed her mind? Why does Benji think she's with me?

  ME: She's not here.

  BENJI: Don't bullshit me cockhead. I saw her car coming into town over an hour ago. I don't give a fuck what you two are doing. Just trying to help.

  ME: SHE’S NOT FKN HERE!

  Pulling on my jeans, I yank the door open. Scanning the parking lot for her car and not seeing it, I run out to the road and look both ways. Nope, she's definitely not fucking here.

  Looking down at the phone in my hand, I think fuck it. I'm calling her and I don't give flying fuck if she's still with him.

  “Hello?” she answers after half a dozen rings. She sounds drained. Something's off.

  “Why aren't you here yet?”

  “I'm not feeling well so I went straight home, Mik.”

  “Fuck, Angel, I would have looked after you. You didn't need to go home. Are you sure you're alright to be by yourself?” I throw my questions at her rapidly.

  I'm fucking worried. She was fine when she left, apart from the damage her fucking ex caused. Which reminds me. “How did he handle the news?”

  “I'm too tired to go into details now. I'll talk to you tomorrow.” Lainey fobs me off. I can tell she's upset so I'm guessing that means he didn't take it too well and she's feeling guilty.

  “Lainey, you didn't do anything wrong. I’m gonna drive out and spend the night with you. You don't sound good,” I tell her. It's obvious she needs me.

  “NO!” she yells through the phone. She must be serious because she never yells at me. “I need to be alone tonight. I'll see you tomorrow.”

  "Fuck. Alright. I'm here if you need me. One call and I'll come.”

  Backing off might be the best option right now. She's stressed and if she wants to be alone, I'll let her. Only for tonight.

  “I love you, Mo Ghrá.”

  “I love you too, Mik.”

  She ends the call but I stand there holding my phone to my ear, unwilling to break the connection.

  “Yo, Mad Dog. What's going on?”

  Benji, Kyle and Joel walk up behind me. Benji stops to talk, waving the other two on to give us privacy.

  “Fucked if I know, Benji.” Shrugging my shoulders, I continue grumpily. “She went home. Doesn't want to see me tonight.”

  Bumping his shoulder against mine, Benji commiserates with me.

  “That's fucking rough, brother. Don't worry, it’ll work out. It's all good now that cunt’s off the scene.”

  “True.” I punch him lightly in the arm. “I'm heading to bed. Gotta woman to sort out tomorrow.”

  “Fucking never thought I'd hear you say that,” he throws over his shoulder as he walks away, laughing at me.

  “Me too, brother, fucking me too.”

  “What the fuck is he doing here?”

  I've finally managed to corner her. She's been avoiding me all morning and now her supposed ex has shown up, throwing his arms around her and acting like they’re still together.

  Lainey backs against the wall and looks at the floor. Lifting her head by her chin so she will actually look at me, I notice a light bruise on her cheek that she's trying to cover with makeup.

  “What the fuck happened to your face?” I bite out in anger. She recoils at my tone and I immediately feel like a douche.

  “I must have hit it when I fell last night,” she answers quickly. Too quickly.

  “I think you mean when you were pushed over.” I point out the window of the study where I've ambushed her, at fucking Brendan who’s still hanging around like a bad smell. “When he fucking pushed you over.”

  She shuffles her feet and looks back at the floor. Jesus fucking Christ, I hate taking the Lords name in vain but I'm frustrated, and I have no idea what's going on. Today is not going the way it was fucking supposed to.

  “What's he doing here? Didn't you break up with him?” The words stick in my throat but I finally ask the question that has been pissing me off all morning.

  “Not really…” she mumbles, still looking at the floor.

  “WHAT?” I shout. “You've got to be fucking kidding me!”

  Raising her head she glares at me, an actual expression replacing the blank look she's been giving everyone all day.

  “Keep your damn voice down,” she orders.

  That's more like it. There's the woman I know and love.

  “It's not how it looks.”

  “How can you say that? You’re either still with him or you're not. It's that fucking simple.”

  Crossing my arms over my chest, I put a barrier between myself and the woman I'm afraid is about to rip my fucking heart out of my chest.

  Arching an eyebrow at her when she doesn't answer me makes her face turn red.

  “I'm still with him.”

  Pain ripples through my chest at her words. This can't be happening.

  “I'm sorry, Mik, so sorry.” She rushes towards me and grabs my arm, tears rolling down her face. I peel her fingers from me. Fuck her and fuck her apologies.

  “Why? Is it because he's fucking rich? Because of his famous last name? Because he treats you like a fucking piece of shit and you secretly get off on it?” I ask her, eyeballing her furiously. I want fucking answers.

  “Or is it because I'm a fucking dumbass biker who you think you're too good for?”

  The last question is my biggest fear. Lainey's so fucking smart and beautiful, too good for the likes of me but I didn't think shit like that mattered to her. Obviously I was wrong.

  “It's not like that,” she cries. “It's complicated…”

  “It wasn’t complicated when I was fucking you last night, when you came all over my fingers and my cock. It wasn't complicated when you gave me your virginity. And it definitely wasn't complicated when you told me you fucking love me!”

  My voice is getting louder and louder and we are going to have a fucking audience to witness my fucking humiliation if I don't get away from her soon.

  Grabbing my arm again, she begs softly. “Please Mik. I can't explain right now. I need time.”

  Ripping my arm away from her, I throw my hands in the air.

  “You know what, little girl?” I sneer at her, channelling my pain into anger. The need to hurt her like she's hurting me overwhelms me. “It's all good, I don't need your bullshit explanations. I won't lie, I enjoyed being your first fuck but I prefer playing with women not girls. So run along and enjoy your life with Prince fucking Charming.”

  When her expression fills with pain at my words, my heart skips a beat. It kills me to see my lies hurt her. Turning my back on he
r, I'm heading for the closed door when she whispers so quietly that I almost don't hear her words.

  “I do love you. Please believe me.”

  With one hand on the door knob, I pause and let her words wash over me. Fuck I wish she was telling the truth. I'm about to turn and tell her that I love her as well when the door swings open and I'm forced to move out of the way before it hits me in the face.

  “Well what do we have here?” Brendan questions Lainey, snapping his fingers at her until she moves to stand next to him. I shake my head at her meek obedience. How could I be so wrong about her?

  “Not a thing, shithead. Lainey and I were just saying goodbye.” I eyeball him before stalking into his space. “I will give you one piece of advice before I leave you two alone…”

  “And what would that be, biker?” He smirks at me, not backing away an inch.

  Looks like someone grew some balls overnight. My fist itches to wipe the smirk from his face but I resist it. Barely.

  “If I hear one word about you hurting Lainey in any way I will hunt you down and kill you. I don't give a fuck who your father is, he won't be able to save you.”

  Lainey draws in a sharp breath and shoots me a worried look. Brendan on the other hand throws his head back and laughs.

  "Seems to me that the only person hurting Lainey at the moment is you. Do you leave every girl you meet in tears or is she special?” he asks, his condescending tone making my blood boil.

  Tamping down my need to punch his head in, I turn and stalk from the room.

  Instead of heading to back yard where everyone else is drinking after our barbecue lunch, I head for the front door. I need to get out of here. I throw myself into the front seat of my truck and accelerator to the floor, I escape my new hell.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Mik

  Present Day

  Looking back on my actions that day always fills me with shame and guilt. I doubt the day will ever come when it doesn't.

  You know what they say about planning. We plan; God laughs.

  My plan to make her mine had blown up in my face and I hadn’t spoken to her again, blanking her at our club Christmas celebrations. I'd made out with Club whores in front of her and let her think that I fucked them—just to hurt her like she hurt me—and the look on her perfect face told me it had hurt. A lot. I didn't even bother to analyze why she would pick him over me and then be upset when I moved on.

  Even when she moved into the house that Beast purchased for her and Benji around the corner from mine to attend university, I’d continued to ignore her. Lainey reached out dozens of times with texts and phone calls but I’d continued to sulk. I’d ignored her until Benji gave me a heads up that Brendan was blatantly controlling her every move. I’d finally manned up and decided to pursue my woman properly. Four months too fucking late.

  Benji and I had watched Brendan's behaviour for a week or so before we made it our mission to get her away from him, starting with a job at the workshop. The job that would set that fucking night into motion.

  In reality, I’d had at least three chances to step up and be the man Lainey needed but I’d pussied out. I shouldn’t have let Beast talk me into pausing my pursuit of her and I should have fucked that douchebag up the minute he hurt her at her birthday party. I definitely shouldn't have walked away the day after we made love without a fight. Nope, I don’t place too much blame on Benji. What happened to Lainey is on me and I'll never fucking forgive myself.

  As I arrive at the clubhouse, I force myself to shake off the memories. If I don't get my fucking head under control, I'm no good to her.

  Pulling into the entry to find the double gates shut and our Sergeant at Arms standing in front of them, I'm forced to come to a stop. Canvassing the perimeter, I spot our four enforcers guarding the Club. They are holding rifles and partially hidden in strategic places around the fence.

  We have an eight-foot tall cinder block fence topped with barbed wire around our large allotment in one of the inner-city industrial areas. It encompasses the new clubhouse, a workshop where we work on our personal bikes, the original and much smaller clubhouse, a fully equipped gym, half a dozen sheds for storage, a playground for the kids and a bar that we open to the public when we have charity fundraising days. Our setup is more than a clubhouse, it's a compound built through necessity and over time. It's our fortress against the world and other MC’s. I feel just as home here as I do in my own house.

  Stepping up to my window with one arm behind his back, our SAA Timber signals for me to lower the tinted glass. I’m know he’s holding a handgun behind him, ready to take down anyone who shouldn't be here.

  He’s a giant of a man, thirty-one years old like I am, and just under seven-foot tall with a build to match. He’s the biggest man I know and I know some huge motherfuckers. He’s real name is Lucas but Timber suits him to a tee.

  He got his road name because of something my Dad said. He said if he went down, you’d have to yell ‘Timber’ to warn anyone standing within five metres of him that they were in the crush zone. He’s one of my best friends and has been my entire life. We went to school together and prospected at the same time as the first of the third generation sons.

  He’s tough as nails—enjoying the violence that comes with being SAA a bit too much—and has proven his worth to the Club since he was promoted to Sergeant at Arms when I left the position to step up to VP.

  “Mad Dog, I didn’t realize it was you.”

  He leans through the window, searching the vehicle.

  “Now you’re here, we’re officially on lockdown…” He trails off when he notices Lainey isn’t with me.

  “Where’s Princess? We’re only waiting on her now.”

  His expression declares his concern, he knows what she has been through since she opened up to him one drunken night. He’s the one who nicknamed her Princess, which they all call her when she’s not around. Timber being the only brother not scared of saying it to her face. He coined it from the fact that she’s our Prez’s only daughter as well as patched and engaged to the VP. The closest thing to royalty we will ever see in our Club he always crows just before she knocks him upside the head.

  Everyone in the Club loves my woman but Lainey and Timber have a special connection that would get my hackles up if I didn’t trust them both. Timber stepped into my old best friend role when I became her old man. He's our mediator, our calming influence and sometimes our third fucking wheel.

  “I haven't told Beast yet but she’s the reason we’re on lockdown. Once I’m in, chain the gates. We’ll let the dogs out before we go inside.”

  “Fuck man, Kid told Beast he had to call lockdown but he wouldn’t tell him why. He just told him he had to wait for you. Beast’s about ready to rip his head off for not passing on his intel. I take it he’s waiting for you to get here to deal with Beast?”

  “Got it in one, my brother.”

  I’m fucking surprised that Kyle has been able to hold off telling Beast what’s going on. It wouldn’t have been easy with Beast breathing down his neck; the kid has more spine than I gave him credit for.

  “Better you than me, brother.” He chuckles. Fucking smartass.

  Beast’ temper is legendary and so are his fists. I’m not looking forward to telling him his only daughter is probably back in the hands of the fucker who nearly killed her four years ago.

  I drive through to the Clubhouse and reverse the Jeep near the back exit.

  After he closes the gates, Timber meets me at the dog kennels and lets the Club’s three Rottweiler’s off their chains.

  “Ghardáil!” I tell them to guard in Gaelic.

  Timber gives me a brotherly pat on the shoulder before we walk into the front bar of the clubhouse.

  “YOU!” Beast roars, pointing his sausage sized finger at me.

  “What the fuck took so long? MY Information Officer told me to wait so YOU could tell ME why MY club had to go into lockdown!”

  He’s been w
aiting just inside the door, ready to ambush me the second I got here. I look around the bar for Kyle but he’s obviously made himself scarce to avoid Beast beating the answers he wants out of him.

  Timber quickly walks around me to get out of the line of fire, heading inside and taking a seat near his old man and mother. The clubhouse is full of patches, their Old Ladies and kids. Everyone is watching Beast and I with fearful interest. My Dad is sitting in the corner, white faced and slumped against the wall in pain, shaking his head at me in disappointment. Fuck, I hate disappointing him but I think he'll see I made the correct choice when I run it by him later.

  Beast hasn’t let me take more than two steps inside the clubhouse and I doubt he’ll let me move until he gets his answers. I’ve broken a cardinal rule as VP by ordering lockdown without the President’s approval. Then I’ve compounded that sin by keeping him out of the loop as to why I ordered it. Beast looks at Timber taking a seat and then back at me. He knows Timber wouldn’t be inside if I’d told him Lainey was on her way here. I see his face drop.

  “Where’s my baby girl?”

  He’s quiet, for now, concentrating on connecting the dots. He’s about ten seconds from losing it. I can see his shoulders starting to shake.

  “Call Church and I’ll fill you all in at the same time.”

  I nod towards the doors leading to our chapel.

  “Fuck that! Spit it out!” Beast explodes. “Patches stay here, everyone else rec room. NOW!”

  Everyone who’s not a member scrambles to leave. He stalks over to the bar and grabs a beer from our quick thinking prospect, cracking the top off against the bar. After he drains every drop, his head drops to his chest and he braces himself against the solid wood. He knows it’s bad fucking news.

  I walk over and put my hand on his shoulder. There’s no easy way to say this, so I tell him, quickly and firmly at a level everyone can hear.