She frowned.
“You and me, we do okay, don’t we?” He reached over and tipped her chin up so her big blue eyes looked into his. “I can make you peanut butter cookies if you want.”
This broke the ice. She smiled. “You don’t know how to make cookies, Daddy.”
“I’ll learn if you want me to.” He winked at her. “And I’ll tell you another thing, when Daddy decides to get a girlfriend he’ll make sure she can make a mean peanut butter cookie. Deal?” If you couldn’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
“It’s a deal,” she answered easily enough.
To be a child again, he thought to himself, as he cleared away the breakfast dishes. To think of life in such an uncomplicated way, the way a child did. To love, to lose, to forget. Luke only wished his life were that simple.
FOUR
Kate stared at the passing scenery, almost wishing she hadn’t let Karen talk her into going outside. Normally the outdoors cheered her up, if only for a few minutes. Unfortunately, today even the fresh air and sunshine couldn’t make her smile. She’d barely picked at her food again that morning and what she had eaten hadn’t settled well. She wanted to go back to bed and dream again.
“I thought we could take a stroll down the beach,” Karen suggested from the driver’s seat of the old Buick. She lit up a cigarette and then tossed the lighter onto the dashboard. “You wanna smoke? Might help your nerves.”
Kate stared at the burning cigarette. She’d smoked a time or two in her life. Back in college, she remembered. She’d quit. Luke had talked her into quitting. She shook her head and turned back to the window. The old beat up Buick chugged along the freeway, just outside of Vancouver. It was a beautiful countryside. At least it would have been had the circumstances been different. The wind blew in the halfway open window. It felt good against her cheeks. She breathed in the fresh air deeply and shut her eyes.
“So how did you meet your husband?” Karen asked, surprising her. Kate’s eyes opened and she looked at her companion. Karen really was attractive in a different sort of way. She looked ten years older than her thirty years. It was the makeup, Kate decided. She wore too much of it. Her blue-gray eyes were the kind that didn’t need much to back them up. They were pretty on their own.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Karen added, when Kate didn’t immediately answer. “I know it’s not easy to talk about him.” When she still got no reply, she shrugged her shoulders. “I never came close to marrying. I guess it’s hard for me to understand how anyone could fall so deeply in love that they would sign away their life.”
“Isn’t that what you’ve done?” Kate asked, her brow furrowed. She was sorry a moment later when she saw a flash of pain flicker in Karen’s eyes. This woman wasn’t as hard as she pretended to be.
“You don’t know me, Katie. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you do.”
“Marriage is just a piece of paper,” Kate said, after a moment. “Love is what really matters.”
“Meaning the fact that I’ve never married isn’t relevant.” Karen grinned as she flicked her cigarette butt out the window. “I kind of figured that, honey. Some of us just aren’t meant to be loved.”
“I think we all are. In order to be loved, you have to love yourself.”
“You sound like an infomercial.”
Kate only shrugged. “I just don’t understand why you stay with Louis when you can leave. He’s horrible to you.”
“You’re right,” Karen snapped. “You don’t understand. Someone like you, with your white collar husband and perfect little palace in Seattle, could never understand a street whore like me.”
“That’s not what I—”
“I know what you meant.” Karen lit up another cigarette. “Let me tell you something, Katie. Not all of us are as lucky as you. I know you’re upset at your loss and I know you have been through a lot. Some people would give anything for just a few minutes of the wonderful life you experienced for the years you had it.”
Kate considered that, her head propped on her hand as she gazed at the passing scenery. “We met in college,” she said softly. “I got drunk and puked on his shoes.”
Karen raised an eyebrow and snickered. “No shit. I must say, that’s not the story I expected.”
“Believe it or not, it’s the truth. It turned out to be the best night of my life. He held my head over the toilet half the night, and then lay down with me until morning. It was like-”
“Love at first sight,” Karen finished for her tightly. She exhaled some smoke. “You’re a living Betty Davis movie, aren’t you?”
Kate shrugged.
“You know, I don’t think there has ever been a time when I thought I couldn’t live without a particular man. It’s always been screw ‘em and move on. I was just happy to leave the room in one piece.”
“That’s sad.”
“Maybe. Girls like you were the ones all the guys in high school were after. You had nice cars and shiny prom dresses—the good life. You would have spit on a girl like me if I’d have made it to high school.”
“I wasn’t that way,” Kate argued, her voice rising. “I had it tough in high school. I didn’t have many boyfriends. I was shy and my parents did not have a lot of money. I didn’t even have a car.”
“Blow air up my ass if you want. Trust me, the life I lived would have made you cringe.”
“My childhood wasn’t all that great, if you must know,” Kate said, irritated. “My parents ignored the heck out of me. My sister was five years older so I was basically on my own. On top of that, my dad was a drunk. He used to rant, rave, and scream at my mother regularly. My life was not perfect. Not until I went away to college, on a scholarship that I earned being a bookworm, and I met Luke.”
Karen was quiet for a moment. “So now that he’s gone, your life is over?”
Kate only shifted uneasily in her seat.
“Don’t hate me for saying this, but it seems to me as if the pity me period should be over by now. I mean, don’t you think?”
The words stung Kate. She leveled Karen with a glare. “You don’t know the meaning of love. How could you ever know what I’ve lost—what you’ve helped take away from me?”
This time Karen flinched. “I suppose you’ve got me there. I’ve done things I ain’t proud of. I see a fighting side to you, Katie. I can’t help but wonder why you don’t try a little harder to survive. You’ll never get anywhere crying over things that are beyond your control.”
“I’ll never get anywhere anyway. He’s going to kill me, isn’t he?” Kate looked Karen in the eye. She saw the flicker of truth and surprisingly enough, all she felt was relief.
Karen gripped the steering wheel tightly. “Don’t be too sure what Louis is going to do. If you’d talk, tell him what he wants to know, he might give you a chance, Katie.”
“A chance to what?”
Stunned into silence, Karen stared straight ahead at the road, her knuckles turning white as she gripped the wheel. “God, you really believe that, don’t you?”
Kate only glanced her way fleetingly before turning back to the window.
They drove in silence for several minutes before Karen pulled off the freeway. She pulled into the parking lot of a mini-mart and dug through her purse.
“What are you doing? You just bought cigarettes.”
Karen pulled a small wad of cash out of her purse before she looked over at Kate. “Probably signing my death warrant. What do you say we take a little road trip?”
“A road trip where?”
“I’m thinking I’d like to surprise you.”
Kate only shrugged.
“You know, in another place and another time, you and I might have been able to be good friends. You think?”
Kate didn’t answer. Her eyes were glued to the mini-mart. There was a woman entering the double doors, a small child in tow. A little girl. Sadness gripped Kate’s heart until she almost couldn’t bear it.
&nb
sp; Karen followed her gaze. They both stared in silence. Finally, Karen sighed and opened the car door. “Come on. I need some more cigarettes if we’re going to make this trip.”
Luke tapped his keys against the counter as he waited for Ms. Tammy, the director of the Happy Days Daycare Center, to gather Hallie’s things and bring her out for pick up. The end of Monday was finally here. Thank God, he thought to himself. The day had been tougher than he’d anticipated. Two of his players had been arrested the night before, both getting cited for being minors in possession of alcohol. Both boys had crappy parents who didn’t give a rip what their kids were doing. He’d spent the entire day at the courthouse posting their bail and lecturing the life out of them—something their parents didn’t see fit to do. After that, he’d ended up getting into it with both sets of parents. It was beyond him how people could be so negligent with their kids.
“It’ll just be a minute, Mr. Garrison.”
Luke turned toward the female voice. A petite blonde stood before him. She was behind the counter, her hands folded in front of her as she smiled. He guessed her to be in her early twenties. He forced himself to smile. “Thanks.”
“Your daughter’s great,” she said quietly. “She’s very charming.”
That was Hallie, he silently agreed. She was definitely a charmer. “Thanks,” he said out loud. Then he saw her nametag: Sara. He wondered if there was more than one Sara at the daycare. Was this the woman Hallie had been talking about?
“I just started working here a couple of weeks ago so I don’t know many of the parents well yet. Your Hallie sure is easy to get to know though. She’s really friendly. She told me you used to play football.”
This had to be the same Sara, he decided as he nodded his head. “I played for a while.” What else had his daughter told her?
“I like the Hawks. I haven’t been to a game yet,” she went on. “I’m from Minnesota. This is a new experience for me. A Vikings fan.”
“Don’t say that too loud around here,” he said, grinning. “This is a huge football town.” He leaned back against the wall, comfortable enough with the conversation. If he were being honest, he had to admit she was kind of cute. Her blonde hair hung a few inches below her shoulders. It was straight and clipped back in a barrette. She had nice skin too. Flawless, with a little color to it. She looked as though she may have been somewhere warm recently. “I’ve been to Minnesota. Nice place.”
“Here we are,” Ms. Tammy suddenly appeared with Hallie in tow.
“Daddy!” Hallie scurried across the floor and hopped happily into his arms. “I missed you! You’re late.”
“I know, baby. I had some problems today.” He tickled her and then gave her a kiss. “I thought maybe we’d head over to the Pizza Palace and have some of that pizza you’ve been talking about. What do you think?” He took the pink Little Mermaid backpack Ms. Tammy offered him.
“Oooooh! Fun,” Hallie exclaimed happily. “Can I invite a friend, Daddy? Please?”
He looked over her head at the play area of the large room. There were several children sitting on the floor waiting for their parents to pick them up. He instantly recognized Christie. He hadn’t planned to include any other children but he supposed it was easy enough for him to call her dad and be sure it was okay. “Sure, Chipmunk, I guess we can do that tonight.”
“Yay!” Hallie squirmed in his arms and then, to his horror, turned to Sara, who was still standing at the counter watching their exchange with interest. “You want to go to pizza with me and my daddy?”
Luke felt ten shades of red climbing up his neck and into his cheeks. His eyes grew wide with disbelief. This was not happening. “Hal-” he began.
“It’ll be fun,” his daughter interrupted. “Sara can do that armpit noise thing. You know, the one that Uncle Nate does? She does it even better than he does.”
Now it was Sara’s turn to blush. She looked down at the floor with chagrin and he couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. He would have to have a long talk with Hallie about her tactics. This was a nightmare. All the same, there wasn’t much he could do. She’d put him on the spot. Throwing caution to the wind, he cleared his throat and turned to Sara. “If you’re not busy, it’s okay with me.”
Sara looked surprised. “It’s okay, Mr. Garrison, really. I don’t want to interrupt your plans with Hallie.”
“You’re not interrupting,” he found himself saying, though he didn’t know why. This woman was way too young for him and not his type, but his mouth spoke the words before he could stop it. “Seriously, we’re just grabbing some pizza. Nothing too intense.”
“Please come,” Hallie begged, reaching a hand out to Sara. “I can show you tricks on the monkey bars in Playland. I’m really good.”
Still, Sara looked unsure.
“She is good,” Luke said, grinning. What could a little harmless pizza hurt?
Sara’s face slowly broke into a smile. “Well, if you’re sure.”
“We’re sure,” Hallie said happily. She jumped down from Luke’s arms and reached up for Sara’s hand. Her other hand reached for Luke’s. He watched as Hallie looked from one adult to the other. His heart took a dip. It was at that moment that he realized his daughter wasn’t faring as well as he’d thought she was.
FIVE
Kate lay across the bed, her head resting in her hands as she propped her elbows up on the mattress. The Motel 6 was hardly extravagant. She’d seen more than one cockroach already and the door was barely latched. According to Karen, it was out of the rain and that was all that mattered.
After several hours in the car, destination unknown, they had driven through the city limits of Seattle, Washington. The rain had begun pelting against the windshield immediately and Kate’s heart had split down the middle. Of all the places for Karen to take her, she had chosen Seattle. It seemed beyond cruel and when she’d told Karen so, the woman had merely shrugged her shoulders. She’d disappeared for a few hours earlier in the afternoon and when she’d returned she had food and more cigarettes. Kate had an idea where she was coming up with the money she was getting, but she didn’t say anything. After all, Karen wasn’t shy about the fact that she slept with men for a living.
“Face the demons head on,” Karen said, as she stepped out of the bathroom and noticed the look of anguish on Kate’s face. Fresh from a shower, she had a towel wrapped around her platinum hair. She sat down on the bed and lit up a cigarette. Kate noticed that without makeup, as she had figured earlier, Karen was attractive. She looked closer to her age. She was actually a pretty girl. Her face was flawless except for a tiny scar along her left cheekbone. Louis had probably given her that. He was generous with his fists—Kate knew that first hand.
“Don’t you have anything to say?” Karen asked, apparently unable to stand the silence.
“I wish you hadn’t brought me here.”
Considering this, Karen tapped an ash into the ashtray before inhaling another plume of smoke. “Fair enough. There is a reason I did it, Katie. You’ll understand more tomorrow.”
“I wish I could understand now. Because I was really starting to think maybe you had a humane bone in your body. I was starting to think that maybe you were different from Louis. I guess I was wrong.”
“Things aren’t always what they seem, Kate. Sometimes we’re forced to go through things in order to get strong—in order to survive.”
“Meaning?”
Karen frowned. “Meaning Betty Davis made more than one movie. Maybe you will to.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Stop asking me what I mean. At this point, if Louis knew I brought you here, he’d kill me. He’d honestly tie me up and dump me in the river. I have a soft spot for you for some reason. I can’t explain it for the life of me.” Karen put out her cigarette and reached for the towel on her head. “It’s going to be the death of me yet.”
“Why won’t you just admit he’s going to kill me?” Kate sat up straight, her voice le
vel. “It doesn’t bother me, Karen. I don’t want to live like this anyway. I can’t live like this.”
Karen rolled her eyes. “This death wish thing you’ve got is getting real old, honey. Come up with something else.”
Kate didn’t answer.
“Look, Katie dear. You are either going to toughen up or get tortured some more. Haven’t you figured that out yet?”
Feeling an overwhelming lump in her throat, Kate squeezed her fingers together tightly. It was happening again. She felt her heart beginning to pound. She felt the breath fighting its way into her lungs. The excruciating fear that jolted through her body was palpable. She let out a painful stream of air. “Why are we here?”
Karen didn’t answer. She just went to work untangling her hair, a cigarette dangling from her lips precariously.
“Why did you bring me here?” Kate snapped, unable to sit still and take this torture anymore. The panic she felt was so intense it felt like a virus eating through her soul. “I can’t stay here,” she said standing up. “I can’t be here. Not without him.”
Karen took notice. She got up and crossed the room, a slightly worried look now marring her features. “You don’t have a choice, do you hear me? You don’t have a choice.”
“You don’t understand,” Kate felt her own fingers clawing against her chest. “My chest, it’s tight and it hurts. I feel like I can’t breathe. God, these walls are closing in on me.”
“Listen to me, Kate. I didn’t bring you here to torture you.” Stubbing her cigarette out, Karen reached forward and grasped Kate’s head between her palms. She forced Kate to look into her eyes. “Can you hear me? Are you listening to me?”
Kate started to turn her head again.
Root of All Evil Page 5