Root of All Evil

by Hayden, Jennifer

“I’ll run some bathwater for you. You can soak a little and clean up. I’ll make us something to eat and some coffee.” He turned toward the bathroom.

  “My hair,” she heard herself say, reaching up and running her hands through the tangled mess. “I don’t want anyone to see me like this.”

  He frowned as he looked her hair over. She could tell he agreed with her opinion.

  “I can try to even it out a little if you want. Then you can go to a salon and get it fixed the rest of the way.”

  Relieved, she got up and followed him into the bathroom.

  An hour later Luke stared down into the coffee pot as it percolated. He’d trimmed up Kate’s hair as best he could, at least making it all one length at her shoulders. He’d been furious to notice numerous scars on her scalp. She’d been cut, he’d realized, and his anger began to boil again. When he’d asked her about it, she’d clammed up and gotten that faraway look in her eyes, so he’d dropped the subject.

  He leaned his hands against the counter, forcing himself to block out the anger. It wasn’t helping anything. It was only making things worse. When he tensed and got angry, she backed away and shut him out.

  A few minutes earlier, he’d talked to Nate. Thank God there, things were under control. Nate and Suz had been keeping the television watching to a minimum. They had managed to protect Hallie from the media. Luke and Nate had both agreed that for the time being she should stay where she was at. Luke couldn’t bring her here with things the way they were. He would have to talk to her before she came home. It was going to be hard explaining things to her. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say.

  The phone rang and Luke reached over and grabbed it.

  “Mr. Garrison? This is Detective Archer.”

  He frowned. “Yeah.”

  “I was hoping to come by this morning and speak with your wife.”

  They weren’t even going to let her get settled were they? “Now’s not a good time.”

  “When will be better?” Archer asked.

  “She just got home, Detective. Do you understand that she’s been gone for three years? Do you think you could give us a day to get used to all that’s happened?”

  There was a pause. “I have an ongoing case here, Mr. Garrison. I would think you would want to know who kidnapped your wife and took her away from you.”

  “I do know. His name is Louis Ferndale and he was at the daycare yesterday while you were standing around doing nothing. That’s why Karen McPherson ran into the parked car. As for my wife, she needs some time. I’ll let you know when she’s ready to talk.” Luke hung up, irritated. He was still pissed that the police had put Kate’s sketch on television the way they had. He’d almost lost her again because of it.

  When the phone rang again, he grimaced. But it wasn’t Detective Archer on the phone, it was Hallie.

  “Hi, Daddy.”

  “Hey, baby,” he said, brightening considerably. “How are you?”

  “Good. We caught a frog. It was outside Uncle Nate’s bushes. Auntie Suz screamed really loud when Jake brought him in to show her. I don’t think she liked when it hopped out from Jake’s fingers and landed on the kitchen floor. Uncle Nate is trying to find it right now. He said a really bad word. You wanna know what it was?”

  Luke grinned. “That’s okay. Did you sleep well?”

  “Yes. Jake snores though. He’s got algergies.”

  Allergies, he figured out for himself.

  “When are you coming to get me?”

  “Not right now, Hal. I thought that maybe you would want to spend the day over at Uncle Nate’s. You know, play for a while. Is that okay?”

  She was quiet a moment. “Are you going on another date with Ms. Sara?”

  He grimaced. Sara. He’d almost forgotten about her. “No, baby. I just have stuff to do.”

  “Don’t you like her daddy? I know she really likes you. She told me. But she said it was a secret so I wasn’t supposed to tell.”

  He leaned against the counter, unsure how to handle this subject. “I like her okay.”

  “Then why don’t you see her? It would be fun if we could have pizza again. She’s good at playing Ping Pong. I really like her.”

  “I know you do, Chipmunk. Daddy talked to you about this stuff. Do you remember?”

  “You don’t like her?” she asked, her voice sounding confused. “I saw you kissing her. I thought you had to like someone a lot to kiss them.”

  God, she didn’t miss a thing, did she? He sighed, his mind reaching for an answer he thought she would accept. “I do like Sara, Hallie. As a friend.”

  “It’s okay to kiss friends?”

  “Yes, it’s okay to kiss friends.” He rolled his eyes and looked up. His heart fell. Kate stood in the doorway. He could tell from the odd look on her face that she’d heard every word he’d just said.

  Kate listened as Luke said goodbye to Hallie. He ended the conversation hastily, with a quick I love you. Once the phone was disconnected, he met her gaze. Her heart squeezed. Clearly, he was uncomfortable. He’d been talking to Hallie about someone named Sara. The woman at the daycare no doubt. It was obvious that her daughter liked her teacher—and she wanted her daddy to like her teacher too. Not only that, apparently Hallie had also seen him kissing her. This bit of information hurt almost as much as watching Luke kiss the woman had.

  “I didn’t mean to interrupt,” she eventually found her voice to say. Everything suddenly felt so wrong. In a mere split second, she felt out of place again.

  “You didn’t.” His words were tight. He set the phone on the counter and reached for the coffee pot, quickly pouring himself a cup. “You want some?”

  She shook her head, clasping the too large waist of his sweatpants to keep them from falling down. The clothes were clean and so was she. That was one improvement. She’d felt quite a bit better until she’d heard him talking to Hallie on the phone. Now she felt anxiety again.

  “Sit down. I’ll make you something to eat.”

  “I’m still full from the pancakes. I just came down to warn you that I used your razor. I know you used to hate that.”

  “It dulls the blade.” They said the words together. Then he grinned. “I’ve got another one.”

  He looked different this morning. He’d showered and shaved. His hair was groomed and gelled. His jeans and t-shirt were crisp and clean. He was as intimidating as hell. Luke Garrison was a good-looking man, to put it mildly. And she was a mess. This only made the fact that she’d seen him kissing someone else more painful. She’d lost him. In her heart, she feared that ten-fold.

  “You need to eat, Kate. Doctor’s orders. Let me make you something. Anything you want.”

  “Really, I’m stuffed still. I think maybe I’ll just go lie down for a while.” She didn’t look at him, just turned and walked out of the room. With each step she took through the house, she felt worse. The pictures on the walls were not hers. The furniture wasn’t hers. This wasn’t her house. This wasn’t her life. God, he wasn’t her husband anymore. Hallie wasn’t even her daughter.

  Kate flinched at the realization, making it to the top of the stairs on a wing and a prayer. She could see the bedroom door to the left and her heart cracked again. Had he shared that bed with someone else? Her chest began to ache. She held onto the banister a moment, wishing she could turn back time and be in college again. Wishing she could be the same perky, cute girl Luke had fallen in love with.

  Instead of going into the bedroom, she walked down the hallway toward the bedroom she knew belonged to her daughter. The door stood open. When she walked in, her breath quickened. The room was pink. A very light pink. Frilly purple curtains adorned the window. The twin-size canopy bed stood in one corner of the room, rumpled and unmade. There were toys strewn from one end of the room to the other. It was the perfect little girl’s room. Kate’s eyes landed on the pretty, white dresser where a picture sat, its frame white with flowers on it. The picture was of Luke and Kate on their wedding
day.

  She walked over and picked it up, wishing she could tunnel the happiness from that picture into the present time.

  The panic hit her quickly. The realization that without Luke, she was nobody again—had no one—poleaxed her straight in the chest. She backed up and sat down on Hallie’s bed. She just kept staring at the picture, the memories of that day, so vivid in her head.

  “What do you think, is this how you pictured it?

  Kate looked up into her husband’s face, almost unable to believe they were really married. For nearly an hour now, she had been Mrs. Luke Garrison. Everything had turned out exactly how she’d planned it. Even her parents had shown up, which had surprised her, considering they always had such a busy schedule of traveling. It had all been a dream. Her dream wedding.

  “I think it’s better than I pictured it,” she said, leaning closer to him, breathing in his scent. It was spicy and sweet at the same time. She loved how he smelled. As they swayed, now dancing their first dance as husband and wife, he tightened his grip on her, pulling her closer. She looked down at the band on his ring finger. It sparkled under the lights of the dance floor.

  The night before, instead of spending the evening apart as tradition called for, they had spent it together. They’d talked all night. About everything. They had laughed over pizza and beer about the first time they’d met—about all the special memories they’d shared after that. Eventually they’d fallen asleep on the living room floor of their new house, which still had no furniture in it.

  A blanket and Luke’s arms was all she had needed. When she had woken up that morning, as part of the deal, he’d already been gone. She hadn’t seen him again until the ceremony. As she looked up at him now, she noticed that his jacket and tie were gone and his shirt was unbuttoned at the collar. He was comfortable now. He had a smudge of chocolate cake just above his lapel. That had happened when she’d fed him some wedding cake and missed her target. He’d done the same thing to her. It was all in good fun.

  “You look amazing in that dress,” he said, his eyes skimming her from head to toe.

  The dress she’d chosen was an off-the-shoulder pattern with a fitted top and an A-line skirt. Its intricate beading was what had attracted Kate to it to begin with. It was like something out of a fairy tale.

  “I ought to. It set you back a thousand dollars.”

  He raised a brow, then shrugged. “It was worth every penny. What does someone wear under something like that?”

  “You might find out later if you’re a good boy.”

  “Really. Just how good do I have to be?” He pulled her against him tightly. “We could go do a quickie in the back.”

  “No way, Garrison. Not on my wedding day. You can wait until later.”

  He feigned a pained look and she grinned at him. “You look pretty hot in your tuxedo too.”

  “It’s not a real comfortable piece of clothing. I can do without wearing one again.”

  “Well you won’t be wearing one in your own wedding again, that’s for sure,” she pointed out, running her hands down his chest. “Have I told you lately that I love you?”

  “I love you too, baby. You’re my life.”

  The words echoed inside Kate’s head as she slammed back into reality. Oh God, what had happened to them? The pain stabbed through her chest and she couldn’t stop it, even though she knew what was going to happen. The picture dropped to the wood floor, its glass shattering. She didn’t even think as she stood up, her hands clutching her chest. Her feet didn’t feel the pain as the glass from the picture sliced into her. All she felt was the pain in her heart. Her breathing closed off and she gasped for air.

  “Kate, what the hell?” Luke was in the room suddenly. She could hear his voice but she couldn’t really see him. “Don’t move!” There was a crunching sound, and then he was there. His hands were on her arms.

  “Kate, look at me.”

  She started to shake her head, her hand moving to her neck, where she clasped her locket tightly. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t get any air into her lungs. Slapping at his steadying hands, she tried to get away from him. She had to get away from this house and all the pain that came with it. God help her, she almost wanted to go back—back to Karen and that dingy room in Vancouver.

  “Kate, stop it!” Luke lifted her up and fought her as he set her on Hallie’s bed. Within seconds, he had her arms pinned down and that made her scream. She screamed and screamed and screamed, as loud as she could, until her voice was raw and she couldn’t scream anymore. Then she just sobbed with an uncontrollable sense of anger. Anger at Louis, who started all this. Anger at God for letting it happen. And anger at Luke for finding someone else.

  “God, Katie, stop it. Stop it, okay? It’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you.” Luke’s face was down next to hers now. He was pleading with her. She could hear the anguish in his voice. His scent seemed to permeate her nostrils. The fight suddenly left her and she went limp. She wheezed in air, her lungs desperate for it. Her vision slowly cleared. Two very worried blue eyes stared down at her. He was right in front of her, his face only inches from hers. He was straddling her, his hands holding tightly to her wrists, barricading her to the bed. She didn’t like the helpless feeling and yet she didn’t have the strength to fight him. Instead, unable to ignore the roiling in her stomach, she tilted her head to the side and lost every piece of food she’d eaten that morning.

  Luke swore and let his grip loosen as he jumped back, startled. Déjà vu, she thought, and shut her eyes tightly, trying to stop the dry heaves once she was empty. The wheezing continued for a few more minutes and then stopped. She wanted to die. In that instant, she would have willingly turned herself over to God. But He apparently had other plans for her, because instead of God’s hands, she felt Luke’s. On her forehead.

  “God, what’s happened to you?” he asked softly, his voice breaking. “Talk to me, baby. Tell me how I can help you.”

  The question was short, the words simple. But they were filled with pain and worry. She couldn’t ignore them. She opened her eyes, afraid to meet his gaze. She was shaking uncontrollably. This attack had been the worst she’d ever had. She’d never vomited like that before. The ache in her stomach was still there, and it was making things worse.

  “Let’s get you out of here, okay? I’m going to pick you up.”

  She didn’t argue. She let him carry her out of Hallie’s room and down the hall to the master bathroom. She didn’t fight him when he set her on the counter and went to work picking the glass out of her feet. Once the cuts were cleaned and bandaged, he brought her fresh clothes and discarded the dirty ones. Then he stood in front of her, his arms folded over his chest as his eyes searched hers seriously.

  “This panic thing is scaring me. I think you need to go back to the hospital.”

  “No!” Panic began to set in again, only this time she forced it back, her head shaking vehemently.

  “Kate, you’re sick. You’re not keeping food down. This isn’t good.”

  She just kept shaking her head, her hands at her neck again, pulling at her skin this time rather than her necklace. She couldn’t go back to that place again. She couldn’t.

  “You’re scratching yourself. Stop it.” He reached over and pulled her hands away from her skin.

  “Please don’t make me go back there, Luke. I’m sorry. I can do better.”

  He looked at her, his eyes full of pity. “I don’t know how to help you here, baby. I’m worried about you.”

  Kate looked down to where he still held his hands in hers. “I can do better.”

  Clearly, he didn’t believe her but he relented anyway. “Maybe you should go lie down.”

  She let him carry her to the bed. Once her head sank into the pillow, she felt marginally better. A moment later, she was fast asleep.

  THIRTEEN

  Luke listened as Nate went on and on and on. It was Nate’s style to go on about something whether someone was particularl
y interested in hearing his point of view or not. Luke was not. His brain was on overload. All the things Nate was ranting about, Luke was worried about. He just didn’t know what to do about things.

  He’d barely finished cleaning up the mess in Hallie’s room when his brother had come through the door. Of course, then he’d had to explain the panic attack, which he couldn’t really explain because he wasn’t sure why it had happened—what had triggered it. He knew she’d heard him talking to Hallie on the phone. That seemed to have been the starting point of trouble. The broken wedding picture may have caused a problem too. Hell, he didn’t know.

  “Are you listening to me?”

  He met his brother’s gaze. “Not really. Are you finished yet?”

  “She’s sick, Luke. How are you going to handle this yourself?”

  “I don’t know. I just am.”

  “You’re not taking any pro-action here.”

  “Just what would you like me to do? Carry her out of the house kicking and screaming? I’m trying to convince her to go to the hospital. She won’t go. She doesn’t like doctors, drugs, or being touched. What the hell do you want me to do?”

  Nate let out a deep breath. “I don’t know.”

  “She needs some time,” Luke reasoned, trying to figure things out in his head. He prayed he was right, and that time would make a difference. “She’s been here one night, Nate. She needs to get used to things again.”

  “What about Hallie?”

  Hallie. Luke had done nothing but think about his daughter all night and all day. He’d convinced her to spend another night with her aunt and uncle but not without her asking a million questions. No matter what, he was going to have to have a serious talk with his daughter. She had to be told the truth, and soon.

  “Listen, I know this is all hard right now. I’m trying to help.”

  “I know,” Luke relented, sitting down on the couch dejectedly. “I can’t send her away again. Not right now. I don’t even like her being upstairs alone.”

  “The hospital is a safe place.” Nate sat down too. “They can get her some nutrients. Put a little meat on her bones.”