Familiar Ground

by Michelle Lynn

  Dani and I descend the steps and walk down the sidewalk through the iron gate of Kiddie Camp. Darkness has enveloped the city, and streetlights light our way home. Dani walks quietly with her hand in mine, eyes glancing in directions of honked horns, sirens, and the usual noises of the city. Not that it’s unusual she’s not talking; she really doesn’t talk to me much. Actually, now that I think about it she mostly watches television and answers questions I ask, but rarely directs questions or comments to me on her own accord. When she does respond to me, it’s mostly with a soft and barely audible voice. Remembering what Mrs. Connie said, this innocent girl has formed a shell around herself and although she lets me take care of her daily needs, she doesn’t fully trust me with her emotions and feelings, firms up my resolve. I’m still very much a stranger in her eyes. Challenge accepted. I have three weeks to help guide this little girl escape out of her turtle shell and show her how wonderful this world is; make her realize it isn’t just run down houses, filth, and drugs.

  I order us a pizza, and we both eat in silence while Dani watches some child show about pigs speaking in a British accent. They call themselves Momma Pig and Papa Pig, and their friends are sheep, dogs, and cows. I don’t understand what’s so entertaining, but Dani watches intently, her eyes never leaving the screen while taking bites of pizza. After dinner, I give her a bath and change her into another nightgown, since I haven’t had time to wash the one she peed in last night. Note to self, wash a load of clothes. Lastly, I tuck her in and tell her goodnight.

  Fully exhausted I throw myself on the couch; grab the remote pressing the DVR button. I need to catch up on all my shows I’ve been missing this week. Selecting my favorite drama, I decide to text Jason, since I haven’t heard from him all day, and that is so unlike him.

  Me: What’s going on, baby? U at Rumors?

  Jason: Yep, everyone’s here. They R asking about you. UR missing out on a great time.

  Me: I’m so exhausted, I don’t think I would be much fun anyways.

  Jason: Go to sleep.

  Me: All right, baby, miss you.

  Jason: Gotta go, babe, my turn for pool.

  Me: Ok, Love you.

  Jason: Love you too.

  Quickly, my eyes lose the battle, and I fall asleep with the phone on my stomach and remote in my hand.

  Sweat drips off of my forehead. My gray leotard fully soaked by the time I finish my second dance class. I throw on my stretched out sweatshirt that falls off one shoulder and walk down the hall to Vivian’s office, where I find Dani kneeling quietly on the floor intently coloring. She watched the first class, but I could tell she was bored, even though she still sat quietly. Vivian took her in the back office and supplied her with the crayons and coloring books. I really need to thank her, since I’d forgotten to pick them up yesterday. I relax on the black leather couch and prop my feet up on the table in front of me watching Dani color.

  “She’s really good for a three-year-old,” Vivian remarks from behind her desk.

  “Yeah? I’m glad she enjoys it,” I reply, trying to instill some confidence in my voice.

  “She barely colors outside the lines and uses all different colors.”

  “Huh?” I really wouldn’t know either way, but since Vivian is a mom of five and a grandmother of two, I’ll take her word for it.

  “Dani, do you color a lot?” I bend down to study the page she’s coloring.

  “Yep—my mommy always had me color while I waited for her at Uncle Jimmy’s.” The little girl never looks up at me, focusing on her coloring.

  “Oh, so you have two uncles. Did you see Uncle Jimmy a lot?” Maybe this could be three people for Dani. Surely Uncle Adam will know this Uncle Jimmy.

  “Yep.” She puts pink back in the box and switches it out with purple. So precise not to mess anything up. She never leaves a crayon out of the box unless she’s using it.

  “She’s neat, too,” Vivian interjects. “My kids always emptied the box on the table. I would find crayons on the floor, under couches, smashed between my cushions, and other crazy places.”

  A knock on the door from our receptionist Darcie diverts our attention. She’s a high school student who helps us on Saturday. She’s also been taking dance lessons from Vivian since grade school, so she’s able to be a teacher assistant if we need her. Her bubbly personality fits right in with the kids.

  “Excuse me, Leah?” She glances down to Dani and then back up to me.

  “Yeah, Darcie?” I bend down to get my bag, knowing Dani’s Uncle Adam must be here.

  “There’s some seriously gorgeous man out front asking for you. You didn’t tell me you and Jason broke up, but believe me after seeing this Adam hottie, I totally get why. I was barely able to say hold on without drool leaking down my shirt.” Darcie looks down at Dani, whose eyes are staring intently at her like she has three heads. Darcie immediately covers her mouth “Oops, sorry, Leah, forgot about the kid.”

  I laugh when I see Dani’s very furrowed eyebrows as she contemplates Darcie. “That’s okay. No, I didn’t break up with Jason, Adam is Dani’s uncle, on her mom’s side.” I stand and collect the coloring book and crayons from Dani, who already has tucked them away in the box on top of the coloring book before handing them to me. I place them on the shelf, so they’ll be here next time for her.

  “Oh, well…in that case, please put a good word in for me.” Darcie winks her eye.

  “Um… hate to break it to you sweetie, but you’re jail bait.” I pat her on the back and follow her out of the office.

  Walking down the hallway, Dani is between Darcie and me. Passing the four private dance studios, we come to the main floor, which contains a small reception area and the parents’ observation room that is lined with windows into the studios. Darcie clears my line of vision when she turns to the right to go back to her desk and continue peeking from behind the computer. My heart skips a beat at the same time my stomach drops. No way.

  The man looks from a brochure he’s checking out and Dani’s same dark set eyes stare back at me. Once the recollection hits, he starts laughing. When I say laughing, I mean hunched over in uncontrollable bellows. “Are you Aunt Leah?” he asks me barely comprehendible between fits of laughter.

  Darcie watches the whole thing like it’s the finale of The Bachelor and raises her eyebrows to me, throwing her hands up to her side as she’s clearly thinking what the hell.

  Acting calm and trying to keep my demeanor in place while wishing I’d taken a quick shower after class belies the inner turmoil I’m experiencing over my appearance. My hair is pulled in a tight bun on the top of my head, my clothes are full of sweat, and I most likely smell. What a great first impression? But, then again, it isn’t really a first impression. I put my hand out, willing it to stop shaking. “Yes, and I take it you are Uncle Adam?”

  Starting to control himself, he stands up straighter and looks me in the eye, “That would be me. Please, excuse my laughter, but I can’t believe it’s you.”

  “I’m surprised you remember me, I assume you and your co-workers scream obscenities to girls all day long,” I say curtly. He immediately sobers.

  “Let’s get a few things clear; One, my mom brought me up better than to treat women like meat. Two, don’t put me in the same category as Marcus, he’s a pig. Third, I could never forgot the girl that finally shut him up for at least an hour.” He lists the reasons while raising his fingers in the air.

  “Oh…sorry.” After my bumbling apology, I’m rendered speechless. Say something, Leah, anything. Aha, I have the perfect diversion. “Dani, this is your Uncle Adam.” I crouch down to her level and point to the fine male specimen standing in front of me.

  “Hi.” She gives him a quick look and back down to her feet.

  “Hey, Dani, it’s good meet you.” Adam crouches down to be at her eye level, as well.

  “Yep.” Dani starts moving her eyes from him to her shoes and back again.

  Adam looks at me for some sort of g
uidance. I open my eyes widely, shaking my head back and forth, silently telling him I have no idea either.

  “Dani?” Adam waits patiently for her to raise her eyes to meet his. “Would you like it if the three of us went to get pizza together? Me, you, and Aunt Leah?”

  “Yep,” she whispers and nods her head up and down. I could have sworn her lips turn up a little at the corners.

  I thank God that Adam seems a hell of a lot better at this than I am. Maybe he has kids of his own or something. I don’t spot a wedding ring, but that doesn’t mean anything. Of course, if he were married with kids of his own, I assume he would’ve brought them with him, unless he didn’t want to make a big production. When Shane told me about Dani’s uncle, I’d pictured a bald middle aged man with a beer belly. I definitely didn’t envision construction worker number four with defined muscles and a chiseled jaw line from yesterday.

  “Great. So tell me Dani, what’s your favorite pizza place?” Perfectly straight, white teeth are revealed when he smiles. He must have had braces. People aren’t just born with teeth that perfect. They’re like a teeth model from a damn dentist commercial.

  “Mario’s,” Dani whispers.

  “Mario’s?” Adam questions, clearly not familiar with the restaurant.

  “It’s in Leonard Heights, where my parents used to live,” I inform him. “Dani, that’s a little far from the city, we can eat there next time, okay?”

  “No, no, it’s fine. I have a car.” He stands up, motioning for us to go in front of him.

  “Would you mind if I went home first and showered?” I hold Dani’s hand in mine while turning around to face him. Crap, I inch my head back when I realize our faces are mere millimeters away from one another.

  A smile creeps across his face as his hand lands on the small of my back, creating a streak of shivers shooting up my spine. “Yes, I would. Don’t worry, you look incredible. Let’s go get this little girl fed,” he says softly, winking at me..

  Wait…did he just say I look incredible? Oh Jesus, maybe this lunch was a bad idea.

  I can’t believe I laughed. After the annoyed look fell over her face, I felt like an asshole. It was a defense mechanism for the pure joy that elated me when I took my eyes off the damn brochure and saw the girl that has dominated my every thought and dream for a month standing in front of me. The kicker of it all is we share a niece. A niece neither one of us knew about until a week ago. But damn—we’re family. Her name fits her; it’s beautiful and soft, just like her, or at least how I imagine she is. She’s been walking past me since the semester started and never glimpsed my way until yesterday. And, that was only thanks to Marcus and his stupid idea of what it means to be suave. I’ve been timing my breaks for the times I knew we’d cross paths, or her path crossed mine shall I say, since I first notice her walking by the site—not that I’m a stalker. Usually, she’s smiling and laughing, walking with other students, never glancing my way through the chain link fence. Rarely has she been alone, but if she was, I would see her lips quietly singing along to her iPod. Yesterday was different, though. As soon as her steps passed the fence line into my vision on the sidewalk, I could tell something was off with her. Not that I knew her that well, or at all, for that matter. Her lips were in a taunt, straight line, and her pace was slower than normal, lacking its usual bounciness. That must have been why Marcus pounced on her like a lion, she seemed almost skittish at first, but held her own in the end. Nicely, I might add. Her comeback for him was spot on, I laughed and razzed him about it all afternoon. I’m sure he made up for it at the bar that night, though.

  Dani has the same soft curls as Leah, except Dani’s hair is lighter; Leah’s more of a honey blonde, whereas Dani’s is pure light blonde. Dani is a perfect mix between our two families. She has a resemblance to Shane and Cassi both. I push that aside, so I can concentrate on the excitement I feel to finally talk to the girl I’ve fantasized about for some time. I would hate to blame her for what her brother has done, but my sister is dead most likely because of him. Although my family knows nothing about either Leah or her brother, wariness of them has already been raised. We’re still mourning the loss of a daughter, sister, and granddaughter. Of course, if I’m being honest, we lost her long before Shane entered her life.

  Cassi, my sister, had always been the fun one, a free spirit of sorts. She never listened to our parents and did what she wanted, regardless of the consequences. She was a rule breaker through and through. After her senior year, she decided she wasn’t going to attend college, and it threw my family in a hurricane of events that culminated in her death four years later. If my family was being truthful, it was as much my parent’s fault as Shane’s for Cassi’s death. Truly no one is to blame, except Cassi; however, when people grieve, they don’t think rationally.

  Soon after graduation Cassi left home, never returning. I’d hear from her occasionally when she needed something like money or a place for the night, but I never knew she was pregnant with Dani or anything about Shane. I assumed the sister I grew up with would return someday. One day, I’d open the door and find her humble self, asking for forgiveness. She would’ve finally hit rock bottom and been ready to start a new life, but that day never happened. I wonder if Leah knows how lucky she is that Shane is still alive and she still has the hope he could get clean. A week ago, I turned into an only child, and now I’m in a tug of war between my parents and Leah.

  My parents are pleading with me to talk to Leah about letting them care for Dani. I had every intention of doing just that—until I met her. It made sense at the time. A college student taking care of a three-year-old didn’t seem sensible when my mom, who doesn’t work, could take care of Dani full-time. Witnessing how attached Dani already is to Leah, there’s no way I’m bringing that topic up. Even though Leah looks physically spent, the love she has for the little girl can be seen plain as day.

  Leah shifts her legs one over the other, drawing my attention away from my wandering thoughts and back to her. God, her legs go on forever. When she wanted to go home to shower and change, it was all I could do not to say yes as long as I can join you. I wasn’t lying when I said she looked incredible, she does. Her leggings are tight, hugging her hips and showing off her perfect apple shaped ass. Wisps of her hair have fallen down from her tight bun, making me imagine my fingers unleashing her hair from the holder and watching her silky hair swish side to side, like one of those shampoo commercials. There are no other words for her, except beautiful, strikingly, and–beautiful.

  I had no idea it would take so long to get to Mario’s, but traffic out of the city is crazy on any given day and worse on the weekend. Dani’s sound asleep in the car seat I bought for her last night and installed this morning. What a pain in the ass that was. Could they make it any more difficult? I actually had to read the directions, and not that I’m bragging, but I can usually make my way without the help of those.

  Wrapping Dani in my arms, we enter Mario’s. It’s a small quaint pizza place, decorated in red, yellow, and brown. Fifties music memorabilia is encased along the walls and hanging from the ceilings. You can watch the man flipping the pizza dough through a window out front that faces the sidewalk. Deciding to grab a booth before ordering, we claim a circular one close to a fish tank. Once we get in, Dani wakes up and startles when she notices it’s me holding her. Her lips turn down and eyes drift away, and I assume she thought I was her dad. After I place her on the plastic vinyl seat, I ask them what they want. The consensus is pepperoni, so I go back up to the counter and order a large pizza and three lemonades. According to the sign they’re famous for their lemonade. Since I have no plans of coming back, might as well try one.

  Making my way back to the table, I notice Leah and Dani sitting in silence staring at me as I walk back. “Hey, girls, large pepperoni coming up.” I smile at both of them.

  “Auntie Leah?” Dani peers up to her.

  “What is it, sweetie?” She takes her hand and glides it down the unruly
curls of the young girl.

  “Can I go look at the fish over there?” She points across the way to a large fish tank.

  “Sure,” Leah says.

  The fish tank isn’t far away, so we’ll be able to keep an eye on her. I’m disappointed I won’t be able to talk to Dani and get to know her better, but her aunt is a lovely alternative.

  “Do you have a brother?” Leah asks me, and I’m thrown that’s the first question she would throw out there.

  “No, it’s just me and Cassi. Well, was just us,” I respond. “Do you think I look familiar? You’re probably thinking of Adam Levine, I get that a lot.” I wink at her and flirtatiously smile.

  She laughs. “Oh…I guess there’s a slight similarity. But, I was asking because Dani mentioned an Uncle Jimmy this morning. She said she would color at his house while waiting for her mom.”

  My fists ball up under the table, and then my fingers stretch out. I rub my hands back and forth down my thighs, trying to control the anger that fills my veins like a blood transfusion at the mention of Jimmy’s name. The thought of that asshole makes me want to punch something or, better yet, someone—him. “No, he’s most definitely not my brother.” My voice curt and short, the exact opposite I want it to be around her.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m such an idiot, I don’t know why I didn’t put two and two together.” I can see the recognition in her eyes; she just figured out who Uncle Jimmy is. Her cheeks turn a slight pink, and she turns her face back toward Dani.

  Shit, now I’ve made her feel bad. “No, it shouldn’t bother me still. It’s just the thought of Dani sitting in some drug dealer’s house while my sister was getting high and God knows what else —”