“What happened to your father?”
“He died a few months after my mom. His drinking got worse after her death. I tried to keep tabs on him. But every time I saw him, he was so wasted he didn’t even recognize me. He just turned up dead in a Navy Hill alley one morning.”
“Jesus. I’m sorry, Alex.”
“I’m not. He was a rotten bastard.”
Olivia ignored the hate in Alex’s voice. “How did you end up here?” she asked.
“I told you, I met your grandmother.”
“No, I know that part. I mean, you were a street artist living with a gang and now you’re painting at Carter Ridge to get ready for some gallery show . . . How did that happen?”
Alex smiled humbly. “Dumb luck, I suppose.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was protesting the demolition of a certain building with some of my crew in a rather illegal way and it made headlines.”
“What building?”
“It wasn’t so much the building as the art. It was pretty much the pillar of street art in Brooklyn and some yuppie developer wanted to level it for condos. Anyway, I was there with my boys. We ended up getting arrested and some reporter came around wanting to talk to us about defending our art. The guys wouldn’t talk to her but I felt bad. She was just trying to make her way in the world. Or so I thought. Apparently she was big-time at the Huffington Post and when she ran the piece on me, it snowballed. Galleries all over the city were clamoring for me. I got hooked up with an agent and she got me this gallery deal. They gave me an advance and set up this big opening. Then I met Cassidy at a charity auction. She’d apparently read the Post and was mad for a piece of my art. She was outbid so she came over to talk to me and after chatting for a while she offered to let me come here to work. She thought it would be good inspiration since my work is influenced by music.”
Olivia grinned. “That definitely sounds like my grandmother.”
Alex was quiet while Olivia absorbed everything he had confided in her. She admired his bravery. Not just for everything he’d been through but for his ability to be so open about it. She wished she had that kind of courage. She kept everything all bottled up inside and most of the time she felt like her mistakes were eating her alive. She nestled closer to Alex, enjoying his warmth.
“Do you regret it?” Alex asked breaking the silence.
“Regret what?”
“Having sex with me?”
“No.”
“That’s it? Just no?”
“Would you rather I said yes?”
“No. But I just dumped a lot on you. I was expecting a reaction.”
She shook her head. “Not to diminish what you shared with me, because you’ve been through incredible hardship, but my family comes with so much drama that I think I have a higher-shock-threshold than most people.”
“I’m sorry to hear it,” Alex said. “But I have to admit, I’m relieved.”
“Did you think I was going to take off into the rain?” she smirked.
“It wouldn’t be the first time a girl went running after learning about my past.”
“Well, I think you’ll find I’m not your average girl.”
“I’ll say,” Alex murmured against her ear.
The warm brush of his lips on her skin awoke Olivia’s smoldering desire. Her body ached for more of him. She was drawn toward Alex in an irrational and almost terrifying way. They were two survivors clinging to the comfort of understanding. Olivia’s mouth yielded to Alex’s hungry tongue. She moaned with pleasure as his hands greedily explored her body. She felt so alive—each touch awaking her senses feverishly.
Olivia was sure she would burn up waiting for Alex’s fingers to feel just how badly she wanted him. She ran her hand down his chest to his massive erection and tugged at him impatiently. She wanted him—now. He groaned with pleasure at her firm caress along his length. She guided him to exactly where she wanted him, a thrill of ecstasy coursing through her as he sheathed himself deep within her. This time she didn’t need a moment to adjust. Her body was ready for him, and he sensed it. Alex plunged into her over and over, deep and hard until Olivia began to unravel.
Olivia was glad for the rain. It seemed to offer her and Alex a protective bubble in which to share their secrets. They lay huddled against each other under the blanket they’d found in the truck. She felt drunk on the lazy afterglow of sex as Alex trailed his fingers in lazy circles on her back. She leaned against his chest listening to his voice rumble over the beating of his heart. It was warm and safe in his arms. He must have felt it too because he had opened up to her with brutal honesty.
She found herself astonished that he’d managed to escape his life at all, let alone still be able to find beauty in it. The more he talked about the way he saw the world and how it affected his art, the more Olivia wanted to see it. When Alex spoke about his paintings he sounded so hopeful. She missed that feeling—having something you loved that you could escape to when the real world got too difficult. That’s what the cello had been to Olivia. But it hadn’t been like that for a long time.
She gazed up at Alex, marveling at what she saw. Life wasn’t fair. Why did a man with a soul so beautiful have to experience such tragedy?
“Alex, I’m really sorry about your parents. You deserved better. And it’s their loss for not knowing you. But I’m glad that our twisted fates brought us together.”
He smiled at her. “Me too.”
“I know that kind of loss is a terrible thing to have in common, but it’s nice to have someone who understands,” she mused.
“It’s so heavy, ya know? Always feeling this weight . . . like if I’d done something different or sooner I could’ve saved my mom.”
“What happened to your mother wasn’t your fault, Alex. We’re not responsible for the choices our parents make.”
He nodded. Then after a while he asked, “What happened to your mom?”
Olivia’s heart constricted. She wished she was brave, but she just wasn’t.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to pressure you,” Alex murmured. “Just know I’m here for you if you ever want to talk about it.”
“Thanks.”
“I should be the one thanking you, Liv. I feel like a ton of bricks has been lifted off my chest. I hate talking about my past, but I feel better than I have in ages.” Alex kissed Olivia’s head. “Or maybe it was the sex.”
They both laughed.
Olivia sighed. “I think I need to take my own advice, when it comes to my past.”
“What’s that?”
“Realize that I’m not responsible for what my parents did and move forward.”
“Easier said than done,” Alex whispered kissing her gently.
Olivia looked over his shoulder and realized the rain had stopped and the setting sun was washing the horizon pink. “I think it’s safe to head home now.”
Alex nodded and helped gather their things. As Olivia opened the door to leave the cab, Alex pulled her up. “Wait.”
“What’s wrong?”
“There aren’t any bears around here, are there?”
Olivia giggled. “I think we’re safe.”
“Good,” he said, taking her hand. “Because that’s one thing I don’t care to repeat with you.”
“So there are other things you’d like to repeat?” she asked coyly.
Alex gave her a devilish grin that made her panties wet. “I’ve got a few ideas for when we get back to the house.”
It turned out Alex had more than a few ideas. They’d barely been across the threshold when he started tearing Olivia’s damp clothes off. She kept waiting for her usual caution or fear to kick in and ruin her fun, but when Alex kissed her all she felt was joy—pure and unfiltered. She was like a different person with him—the type of person she might have been if she had been born into a normal family. One who lived in the moment and didn’t second-guess everything.
Olivia didn’t know if her tryst w
ith Alex would turn into anything more than hot sex, and right now, she didn’t care. She just wanted him inside her again, obliterating all of her thoughts. And he was happy to oblige. He pressed his hard naked body against hers, pushing her against the wall. He kissed her hungrily as they ping-ponged down the hallway to the bathroom. Alex turned on the shower, filling the room with steam. Olivia grabbed his ass and tugged him toward her. He barked a laugh and lifted her onto the sink. She wrapped her legs around him and kissed him as he picked her up, carrying her into the shower.
The hot water drenched them, but it was nothing compared to the fire raging under Olivia’s skin. Alex made her blood roar as he pressed her back against the hard tile, sliding his hands up her thighs to roughly cup her ass. Her legs were still around his waist as she raked her fingers down his slick back. Everything was tight and aching—aching for more of him—all of him. Olivia begged as Alex’s fingers teased her, circling her throbbing center, brushing against her and pulling away before she could get any satisfaction. She writhed against his hard length, pleading for more as his lips devoured hers.
His mouth roamed to her breasts, sucking and nipping until she was gasping his name. “Please, Alex. Please . . .”
The smile he gave her when he looked up at her—his face spangled with water and desire—it was her undoing. And Alex seemed to know it. He let her feet touch the shower floor for an instant before he spun her around, pushing her chest up against the tile. His rigid body pressed against her back, both of them breathing hard as he spread her legs. Alex’s hands were all over her—pinning her to him and she couldn’t get enough.
His voice was thick in her ear. “Tell me you want me, Liv.”
She trembled with need. “I’ve never wanted anything more.”
A groan of pleasure ripped through Alex as he finally plunged inside her. She clenched tight as he slammed deep, thrusting into her over and over. Alex swore as Olivia shuddered around him. He poured himself into her until he couldn’t hold them both up any longer. Olivia sank into him, exhausted and thoroughly quenched.
They were now laying in a tangle of languid limbs in the spare bedroom after the most erotic shower-sex she’d ever experienced. If sex in the truck had been amazing, sex in shower, and then again in the bedroom had been mind-blowing.
Olivia felt the dull absence of Alex between her legs as he rolled off of her. Her muscles felt like jelly. She was certain she would never walk again, but she didn’t really care. All she wanted to do was this—sex, sleep, repeat.
Her stomach rumbled. Well, and eat at some point.
“Hungry?” Alex asked.
Olivia murmured something noncommittal. She was fading into that post-sex bliss she loved—where the world stopped and everything faded away.
Was that why she was throwing herself at Alex?
So she could put off the sad reality of her life?
No, she wouldn’t think of that. She wouldn’t let her family ruin the little threads of happiness she found now and again. She deserved to be greedy every once in a while. It seemed Olivia was the only one in the Crain family who hadn’t inherited the selfish trait. She gazed at Alex’s glistening chest and wondered if maybe greed was something she could learn, because she felt a sudden longing to keep him for herself.
Alex climbed out of bed and Olivia rolled over to tug him back.
“Don’t go,” she purred sleepily.
“I’ll be right back, angel. Just gonna make us something to eat.”
Angel . . . That’s what her grandmother called her. Olivia couldn’t recall anyone else ever calling her angel before. That thought floated through her mind as she drifted to sleep.
Chapter 30
Alex
Alex practically danced around the kitchen as he whipped up dinner. He never dreamed this was how today would end. He’d had sex with Olivia—four times!
He was fucking invincible!
He told her his darkest secrets and she hadn’t bolted. If anything, she seemed to respect him more. She certainly showed him how much she appreciated his honesty in the sheets. He never experienced sex like that. Maybe it was because he never really cared deeply for anyone he’d slept with. All the girls before Liv had been an escape, a release—but this . . . this was the shit people wrote songs about.
He felt such a strong connection to Olivia. Even now, his body ached for more of her.
Shit, was that even humanly possible?
His rigid cock told him it was. But he needed to cool it. Things were going well. He didn’t want to scare her off.
While the pasta boiled, Alex padded back to his bedroom to check on Olivia. She was fast asleep. He took a moment to unabashedly admire her beauty. She looked like an angel with a blue aura, only he could see, glowing around her. It was a struggle for Alex to tear himself away long enough to grab some clothes. He tugged on a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt before returning to the kitchen to finish cooking.
A few minutes later, Alex carried a tray with two bowls of his specialty—lemon chicken with orzo—into the bedroom. Olivia stirred grumpily when he sat down on the bed.
“Come on sleeping beauty, you’re gonna need your strength.”
Alex loved the way Olivia grinned back at him without opening her eyes.
“Promise?” she murmured seductively.
“I never lie about sex or food,” he said waving a bowl of pasta under her nose.
Her eyes flew open. “What is that amazing smell?”
“Lemon chicken with orzo, roasted red peppers and parmesan. I know it’s not grilled cheese but—”
“But nothing! It looks delicious,” Olivia said, sitting up.
She wrapped herself in the sheets and greedily dug in to the steaming bowl of pasta Alex handed her. “Shit,” she moaned after the first bite. “I’ve got to learn how to cook.”
Alex couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he watched Olivia devour her dinner.
“How did you learn to cook like this?” she asked.
“Tony at the soup kitchen on 4th used to let me help out whenever he was cooking. He taught me a thing or two.”
“Do you think you could teach me?” Olivia asked eagerly. “I can’t go back to ramen noodles and grilled cheese after this.”
He laughed at her sincerity. “Sure.”
Alex realized he was grinning like a fool as he stared at Olivia. His cheeks actually hurt from smiling and he couldn’t remember that ever happening before.
“What?” Olivia asked self-consciously.
“Nothing.”
“Don’t say nothing. That’s like the tenth time I’ve caught you staring at me like I have food on my face or something. Shit! Do I?”
“You don’t have food on your face.”
“Then why do you keep looking at me like that?”
“I’ve just never met someone so . . . perfect.”
“Pfffttt! Now I know you’re lying. I’m the furthest thing from perfect there is.”
“Did you ever think maybe you’re only perfect for me?”
Olivia’s face flushed. “I wish I could see myself the way you do,” she whispered.
“You can,” he said sheepishly.
“What do you mean?”
Alex climbed out of the bed and held out his hand. “I want to show you something.”
He offered Olivia his shirt against the chill and nervously led her across the hall to his studio. He paused at the door and looked into her big blue eyes.
“I want to show you what I see.”
He took a deep breath and turned the doorknob to the studio, ready to show her his world.
Chapter 31
Olivia
Olivia was aware that her mouth hung open as she walked around Alex’s studio, but she couldn’t help herself. She was stunned by the beautiful waves of color that exploded from dozens of canvases. The normally bland recording studio had been transformed into a sort of blank canvas itself. White drop cloths hung over the furniture and walls,
dotted with splashes of color where Alex’s paintings rested.
“Alex . . . this is unbelievable,” she whispered. “Is this how you see the world?”
He smiled sheepishly, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Mostly just music, but yeah. I’ve always seen the world differently. I don’t know where it comes from really, just that if I don’t get it out, it consumes me.”
“The colors . . . I’ve never seen anything like it.”
He shrugged. “It’s all I see. Everywhere, hidden in all sorts of things. Letters, numbers, sounds, even some faces.”
She turned to look at him. “In my face?”
He nodded.
“Show me,” she whispered breathlessly.
Alex moved to the desk covered in paints and brushes. He expertly mixed a few together on a palette and brought it over to her. “I knew there was something about you before we ever met,” Alex began. “I saw this color when I was looking at the photograph of you in the foyer.” He lifted the palette of robin’s egg blue for her to examine. “It’s rare for me to see color so strongly in photos, but yours jumped off the wall at me.”
Olivia dipped her finger in the pearly blue paint, smearing it across the palette. “It’s a beautiful color.”
“It’s a very special color to me,” he said quietly.
She lifted her gaze to meet his. “Why?”
“Before I knew it wasn’t normal to find absent colors in the world, before I knew I was different, this was the color I saw everywhere. It was looking back at me every time I looked at my reflection.” Alex threaded his paint stained fingers with Olivia’s. “I always thought of it as my color.”
His touch ignited a jolt of desire within Olivia and she shivered. Her voice was barely a whisper. “But it’s my color too?”
Alex nodded.
“What does that mean?” she asked.
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