Hope to Fall (Kinney Brothers Book 4)

by Kelsey Kingsley

  I smiled gently. “You’re right; ya don’t, and I can’t. Not me place. But I do think ya should get out your mobile and call your dad.”

  “My what?”

  For a moment I was clueless, until I remembered American terminology. “Your, ehm … your cellphone.”

  “Why do you call it a mobile?” she asked.

  “Because it’s a mobile phone,” I replied with a smart grin.

  “Hm,” she muttered before standing from the table, eyeing me with scrutiny as she walked away to call her father.

  With a deep breath, I stood up, walking from the kitchen into the living room. I wasn’t sure I could get back to sleep after being awake for so long, but I could at least get comfortable beside her again. I smiled at the thought, moving my way toward the stairs, and then I spotted her—Emma. Sitting on the bottom step, still wearing my t-shirt.

  “I didn’t wanna wake ya,” I explained apologetically, leaning against the banister.

  She nodded, sniffling, and I realized she’d been crying. “No, it’s fine. You handled it pretty well.”

  I chuckled, dropping my voice to a whisper. “Ya really think so? I was ready to run away when she figured things out, that I stayed with ya last night.”

  “I’ll talk to her,” she told me, wiping a hand over her cheek.

  “So, ah … if I handled it so well, why are ya cryin’?”

  “Because you’re just a really good guy, Malachy,” she replied, her voice suddenly waterlogged and quavering,

  I forced a chuckle, to lighten the mood. “Ah, yeah, I know. That makes me cry all the feckin’ time too.”

  Hailey walked into the room, holding her mobile—excuse me, cellphone in hand. “Mom?”

  “Yeah, hon?” Emma asked, clearing her throat and wiping her face quickly before standing up and pulling the hem of the t-shirt down as far as it’d go.

  “Dad wants to talk to you,” the girl said, walking toward us with the phone outstretched.

  Emma looked to me regretfully. “I have to take this,” she explained needlessly, and I shook my head.

  “Of course.” I turned to Hailey. “So, did ya have breakfast yet?”

  She hesitated with her response. “Um, no,” she finally responded, shaking her head as her mother walked upstairs with the mobile to her ear.

  “Well,” I clapped my hands together before heading into the kitchen, “you’re in luck. I just so happen to make the best breakfast in all of Dublin.”

  “Really?” she asked, following on my heels.

  I stopped and looked over my shoulder to find her face full of intrigue. “Well, no, but I got ya to believe it, didn’t I?”

  She groaned. “God, your jokes are lamer than my dad’s.”

  I grinned. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN |

  CONVERSATIONS & BIG-LITTLE GIRLS

  EMMA

  “So, what are you doing, letting strangers handle situations with our daughter?” Jared snapped at me the second I put the phone to my ear.

  “I should be asking you why our daughter was walking alone at six o’clock in the morning,” I shot back through clenched teeth, closing my bedroom door behind me. “Honestly, Jared, I thought you were supposed to be the good parent.”

  “Knock it off, Emma,” he replied in his infamous patronizing tone. “I’m not in the mood to deal with this right now. I’ve had a bad day and it’s only, oh … six-thirty in the morning.”

  I sighed, thrusting a hand into my hair as I walked toward my dresser. “Okay, fine, so what happened?”

  “I don’t know,” he admitted, sounding immediately exhausted and old. “I was waking the girls up for school. I was helping to get their clothes ready, and I found some … stuff in Hailey’s dresser.”

  “Stuff?” I asked, my ears pricking at the word as I pulled out a pair of pajama pants. “What kind of stuff?”

  “God, Em. You know,” he said with an agonizing sigh, “feminine stuff.”

  My heart thumped. “She got her period? Jared, why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I didn’t know!” And I suddenly felt bad for him, hearing the distress in his tone. “I tried talking to her about it, but she … I don’t know. She got upset, told me I need to stay out of her stuff, and the next thing I knew, she was missing. I tried calling her phone but there was no answer. I tried calling yours, but, well, I guess we both know what you were doing.”

  “Yeah,” I snapped, “I was sleeping.”

  “Oh, right. You were sleeping while you let your boyfriend handle our daughter.”

  My lips twisted as hot tears pricked my eyes. Jared was being Jared; it wasn’t anything new. But that word, boyfriend … that struck a nerve, and should it have, really? I knew exactly what I was getting into the second I decided to start spending time with Malachy while he was here, and sleeping with him, well … I knew the risks involved there too. So did he. But we weren’t listening to the warnings, were we? We weren’t listening to reason, and we were both going to hurt.

  But, I told myself, at least we wouldn’t be alone.

  “He’s not my boyfriend,” I admitted out loud in a strangled voice.

  “Oh, that’s even better,” Jared snorted. “Some random guy you’re banging is taking care of my kid. Awesome.”

  “Jared, please,” I begged him. “Please, can you just keep your shitty attitude to yourself for once? I can’t deal with this right now.”

  He was quiet, stunned even. I sat at the edge of the bed and sighed, listening to the laughter from downstairs. I smiled as a tear slipped down my cheek and I shook my head as my heart whispered, “I told you so.”

  “You okay, Em?” Jared asked softly, and I heard in his voice the guy I had fallen in love with when I was younger. God, even after all these years, sometimes I missed that guy. I wondered where he’d gone.

  “I haven’t been okay for a long time, Jared,” I confessed in a hushed voice. “But I think I could be. I just … I don’t know how to make him stay.”

  “How long have you been seeing him?”

  I shrugged. “We met on the plane on Saturday, so six days?”

  “Wow,” he said, laughing, “you didn’t even try to take your time.” He didn’t mean it as a jab; it was a tease. We were talking as friends, the way we used to, before things got bad, and I rolled my eyes.

  “I tried,” I sighed, “but he’s not going to be here forever, and, I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want to miss the opportunity.”

  Jared grunted his understanding. “Where does he live?”

  “You couldn’t tell by the accent?” I laughed into the phone.

  “I was a little busy being pissed off,” he grumbled, “remember?”

  Wanting to remain civil, to enjoy this moment of actual conversation, I told him, “He’s from Dublin. He’s here visiting family.”

  “Oh, that’s right—you were in Ireland, makes sense.” I could practically hear him nodding. “Well, how long is he visiting for?”

  Holding the phone between my ear and shoulder, I slid my pants on. “I don’t know. I think he’s just playing it by ear right now, but he runs a business over there. He has a house. He’ll have to leave eventually.”

  “But he makes you happy?”

  I smiled despite the quivering of my lower lip. “Yeah. He does. I mean, for now.”

  “Then, you’d be an idiot to not take the time you have with him,” he told me, and just like that, in that moment, I saw my ex-husband as someone completely different as my hand pressed over my heart. “You do deserve to be happy, Em.”

  He wasn’t a terrible guy; he was just terrible for me.

  “Thanks, Jared,” I said, determined to let the conversation end on that positive note. “Oh, and I’ll talk to Hailey.”

  “Okay, cool, I gotta get Sarah to school. Try to make sure Hailey isn’t pissed off at me by the time I pick her up later, okay?”

  I laughed lightly. “I’ll try, but I can’t ma
ke any promises.”

  “I’ll take it,” he chuckled. “I’ll see you over the weekend when I drop the girls off.” And he hung up the phone, as I braced myself before leaving the room.

  ❧

  “Mom, do you know what black pudding is?”

  I rolled my eyes toward Malachy and he shrugged. “Yeah, I’m aware.”

  “Have you actually eaten it?” she squealed, pressing her hand over her mouth.

  “Rumor has it,” Malachy chimed in, pointing a spatula at her, “your mother considers it delicious cuisine.”

  Hailey exaggerated a retch over the counter top as I walked over to poke Malachy between the ribs. “I don’t ever recall using the word delicious.”

  “I might be embellishin’ a bit,” he muttered with a wink, before turning back to the frying pan.

  Eggs, bacon and sausage were sizzling away, and a stack of bread sat on a plate next to the stove, waiting to be popped into the toaster.

  “Can I do anything?” I offered, suddenly feeling awkward and useless in my own kitchen.

  He shook his head, a tuft of his red hair flopping against his forehead. “Nope, unless ya wanna fetch me a shirt to wear.” He gestured toward his bare chest, and although I was disappointed to encourage him to cover up, I laughed as I nodded.

  “I can do that,” I said, touching his arm, just for the sake of touching his skin. “Hailey, you wanna run upstairs with me for a couple of minutes?”

  “Mom, it’s not going to take that long for you to get Malachy a shirt,” my daughter drawled, rolling her eyes, but she caught my stern glare and sighed. “Fine, fine.”

  She headed toward the stairs, and when her back was turned, I reached up to cup the back of his neck and stood on my toes as I pulled him down to kiss me. “Thank you,” I whispered. “You didn’t have to do any of this.”

  “No,” he agreed, “maybe not. But maybe I’m startin’ to wonder if there’s nowhere else I’m supposed to be right now. Now, go talk to her before this is done.”

  My heart jumped to my throat as I managed a smile, lowering my heels and heading upstairs, and I told my heart it was going to be okay. We were going to be fine, and fuck, what I would’ve given to believe it.

  ❧

  “Malachy’s cool,” Hailey mused as I ducked into my closet to pull his shirt from over my head. “He’s nice, and his accent is pretty awesome. I don’t understand all of that me stuff, though. Why does he talk like that?”

  “It’s the dialect,” I explained, pulling on a sweatshirt. I checked my floor-length mirror and neatly piled my hair into a purposely-messy bun. “But, you like him, huh?”

  I exited the closet with his shirt in my hand as she nodded. “Yeah. He really likes you too, I think. He asked me stuff while you were on the phone with Dad.”

  “Oh he did, huh?”

  “Nothing major or anything. He just wanted to know how you like your eggs and what kind of stuff you like to do, other than taking pictures of food. He says he was trying to impress you, but I think maybe he was trying to get my approval too.” Her eyebrows were waggling and she bit her lower lip excitedly. “He has it, by the way. I really like him. You do too, I can tell.”

  I laughed, sitting next to her. “When did you start knowing so much?”

  She shrugged nonchalantly. “It didn’t just happen overnight or anything, Mom.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I guess you’re probably right,” and then, I sighed, sensing the moment to bring up the more difficult topic at hand. “So, um … your dad and I were talking.”

  “Oh, God,” she groaned, throwing her head back. “I knew he was going to say something to you. I told him not to!”

  “Well, Hailey, he was just concerned,” I said gently, holding onto my patience. “It’s not a big deal, hon. I just didn’t know that, you know … you got your period. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  She huffed a sigh. “Because I didn’t think I had to. It’s not like I didn’t know what to do or anything.”

  “Where did you get the tampons and pads?”

  “I got them from the bathroom at school.”

  “At school?” My hands dropped limply to my lap. “Oh honey, you should’ve—”

  “I couldn’t ask Dad, and you’re always so busy, so …” She shrugged, casting her gaze to the floor.

  “Hailey,” I said, reaching out to grip her knee. She turned and looked at me. “I am never too busy for you, do you understand that? Nothing is more important to me than you and your sister.”

  My big girl suddenly looked incredibly small in that moment as her green eyes filled with tears. “Really? Not even your blog?”

  “Oh, God, honey,” I said, pulling her into a hug, “especially not the stupid blog.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY |

  RULE-BREAKING & HALLOWEEN

  MALACHY

  The entire drive back to Helen and Collin’s, I kept replaying the morning on a loop in my brain.

  Hailey’s intrusion had been an unexpected misdirection to what I thought could’ve been a perfect morning-after, and I’ll admit to being initially disappointed when I realized she’d be staying until it was time to take her to school. But what surprised me was that, while unanticipated, the morning with her turned out to be pretty feckin’ perfect in itself.

  She was a sweet girl, funny too, and eating breakfast with her and her mother, I noticed that distinct sensation of being flooded in warmth. It was similar to the way I felt being with the Kinney family. Content. Happy. The feeling that I could’ve spent every single one of my days at that table, and I would’ve been hard-pressed to find a single thing to complain about.

  That was what I kept replaying in my mind. Those twenty minutes in which we ate together, and the pictures I took of Emma on my mobile.

  “Hey,” Emma said, nudging my leg with her knuckles, “you okay?”

  “Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” I replied, smiling.

  “Um, so I was thinking. If you didn’t bring many clothes with you, I can take you shopping later, if you want,” she offered, pulling up to the curb in front of Helen and Collin’s house. “I mean, if you don’t have anything else going on.”

  “I should be fine, thank ya,” I told her. “Actually, maybe I could bring my clothes to your place in the next day or two and do some washing,” I added, seizing the opportunity to invite myself over.

  Emma’s cheeks flushed as she nodded, knowing very well that any one of the Kinneys would have a washer and dryer for me to use. “Yeah, of course.”

  Then she added, “Next week is my week with the girls. Jared will be dropping them off on Sunday, so maybe no sleepovers then because I’m not quite ready to explain this to Sarah, but if you don’t mind having them around—”

  I shook my head, wondering where the old me was and if I’d ever see him again. “I don’t mind. Not at all.”

  She smiled as her eyes watered. “Great, okay. Um, I guess I should … give you my number …” She grabbed her bag, digging through it for her mobile. “Dammit, I have to clean this thing out.”

  I laughed. “Oh, I could’ve told ya that the first day I met ya.”

  “Watch it, Malachy Shevlin,” she warned, pointing a finger at me and her lips lifted into a smile as she pulled out a piece of paper and pen.

  “Ya can’t find your mobile, can ya?” I teased.

  “I’m gonna kick your ass,” she replied dryly, shaking her head as she jotted down her number.

  “And I’m gonna buy ya a smaller bag,” I laughed, taking the paper from her. “I’ll call ya tonight.”

  She grinned. “Oh, you don’t have any rules to follow? No waiting a couple of days before calling?”

  “Nah, not with you,” I replied, leaning over to brush my lips over hers. “You, Emma Bryan, are breakin’ all my rules.”

  ❧

  Time passed quickly. I spent my days with Emma, as she sampled independent coffee shops for her blog reviews. Some days I ate dinner with her and the girls, while other even
ings were spent with the Kinney family. Getting to know them better, and falling for them more and more with every passing moment.

  Then it was Halloween. River Canyon celebrated with a festival in the town park, and Paddy, Ryan and Sean talked me into inviting Emma and her girls. Truthfully, it didn’t take much convincing, on my part or hers.

  “Hey m’darlin’.” Padraig and I greeted her in the carpark near Kinsey’s delicatessen. I snuck a kiss when Sarah and Hailey weren’t looking, since we were being extra careful to not let Sarah think things were more serious than they were. But Hailey whipped her head around at the moment of impact.

  “Ooh, Malachy and Mom, sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S—”

  “Cut it out,” Emma scolded lightheartedly, reaching out to flip Hailey’s ponytail around.

  The Kinney clan were waiting at the footpath for me to retrieve Emma and her daughters, and when we met up with them, I took a deep breath to begin the introductions.

  “Girls, this is Paddy—”

  “If ya call me Paddy, I’ll arrest both of ya,” he warned them, and they responded with shocked stares.

  “He says he’ll arrest everybody,” Meghan calmed them with a passionate roll of her eyes. “He never does.”

  “This is Patrick’s daughter Meghan, and Hailey, I think you two are around the same age,” I said. I went down the line, introducing them to Kinsey, then Ryan and Sean and their respective partners, all of the babies, and finally, Helen and Collin. It was long-winded and overwhelming, but after a lifetime of having next to nobody in my life, I felt lucky to need ten minutes to get the greetings over with.

  “It’s lovely to meet ya, girls,” Helen said, and she looked to Emma. “They look just like ya.”

  “Oh, I’m sure they’re thrilled to hear that,” Emma laughed, grinning at her daughters and wrapping an arm around Hailey’s shoulders. “Right, babies? You just love looking like your old mom.”

  “Sure,” Hailey said with a nonchalant shrug, as Sarah chimed in, “You’re pretty, Mommy.”