I Hate You Rock Stars

by Brie Kraus

  “Wow,” was all she managed to say. She could see at least eight different guitars there; a double bass, a grand piano, and an electric drum set and a sound deck for mixing tracks.

  She moved out from under his hands and went to look at the kitchen, grabbing a granny smith apple from the counter and chewing it carefully.

  “Hungry?” Julian asked. “I thought you went out for lunch.”

  Emma’s eyes narrowed. “I wasn’t really in the mood for eating much, then.”

  “Fair enough.”

  It was night time, almost ten. They would have done the tour earlier, but Jules had been held up by some artist in crisis at his production studio.

  “I would show you the garden,” Jules said, coming closer, catching one of her hands in his, “I will tomorrow when its light.” He took the apple with his spare hand and took a bite from the other side, his thumb drawing circles on her palm.

  Emma moved around him, going to the doors leading outside. “Are there lights outside?” she asked.

  “Yeah, they were put in last week.”

  “Then, show me now,” Emma demanded. “I like gardens.”

  Julian smiled at her as she opened the double doors and walked into the darkness outside, avoiding his gaze and touching him, but not in her usual way. She wasn’t just telling him to F off, like she had done for the past week; she blushed and stammered. He wondered what was wrong with her, but he wasn’t going to press it too far; as he found her new nervousness sexy.

  “Emma,” Jules called, as he made his way to the first little path and didn’t see her.

  Emma didn’t reply so he walked further in. It wasn’t that big of a garden, but for London standards it was huge. Jules rounded the hedged corner and stopped breathing.

  Emma stood in the center of a little paved courtyard, looking around herself smiling and all Jules could think about was how beautiful she was. The gardeners had put white fairy lights in all of the trees and hedges, making Emma look more like some mystical princess than the American with anger management issues. She smiled at him. “I like this garden.”

  “I like you in this garden.”

  Emma snickered. “You don’t have many flowers though.”

  “We don’t have many flowers,” Julian corrected, “and, no, I like trees more, but if you want flowers, we’ll get more flowers.”

  “No,” she said, “I like trees too. You can’t climb a flower.”

  Julian smiled to himself, watching her; something stronger than just the usual heave of longing gripped him.

  He walked over to her unable to stand it. It was true that at first he’d wanted her because she was a challenge, because he’d had so few people say no to him that he’d forgotten what it was to really want something, but now it was more: she made him smile with something more than just disbelief now. This craving for her started to become an ache which refused to go away. He was too fast for her to pull away. Julian’s arms wound around her narrow waist and propelled her into the nearest hedge; so that the fairy lights surrounded her head like a halo. She had time for one quick gasp before he lowered his lips to hers.

  Her plump lips parted under his, surrendering to the dizzy strength that already consumed them. His lips and tongue explored her mouth and the fire sprang up in him hot and demanding. Emma’s hands went to his chest, exploring him through his t-shirt. Just as his hands began an exploration of their own, Emma let out a frustrated shriek and tore her lips from his.

  She was across the courtyard in a second.

  Julian looked at her. Angry this time. He knew that she wanted him, burned for him just like he burned for her. Why couldn’t she just let go?

  “I’m sorry,” Emma said, surprising him—since when did she ever apologize?—and continued, “but if we’re going to live together I can’t—we can’t kept doing stuff like that.”

  Julian took a step towards her.

  Her voice broke, “Please, Julian! I can’t stand it anymore. Just stop.”

  Jules sighed with real sadness and a deeper frustration. “Okay.”

  She looked at him. “Okay.” She repeated.

  They walked back inside, together. Emma felt the annoyance rolling off of Julian in waves. He was in front of her and she watched with a tightening stomach as his shoulders stiffened like he was going to turn, and then, the muscles relaxed.

  The gray shirt clung to his body and Emma had to strain really hard not to look at his perfectly formed butt. She had no right to turn him down and then spring into fantasies about him a minute later.

  She couldn’t explain he actions. She knew she wanted him—for Christ’s sake, she’d probably go crazy with how much she wanted him, but Emma knew that if she gave in, if she let go of this pretend animosity towards Julian, then Luke would be right: He’d get bored of her; he’d get bored and leave her.

  Julian held the door open for her and she moved past him, accidently brushing his chest in the narrow space. Emma had to bite her lip to hold in the groan that threatened to escape. Air hissed through Julian’s teeth and Emma thought she saw him roll his eyes.

  Just as Julian walked away to another room, not wanting her to follow him, and Emma thought that she might burst into tears, there was a hum, followed by every light in the house going out. Emma stood in the darkness for a moment, unsure of what to do before a warm hand wrapped around hers. She jumped.

  “Shhh,” came Julian’s voice, “just follow me, it must be a blackout.”

  He led her through the blackness to what she thought was the lounge room, putting her on the couch. He left her for a moment and lit a candle on the mantelpiece with a lighter he’d pulled from his pocket. “Just stay here for a minute okay. I’ll be back.”

  Jules smiled at her with that tantalizing smile before leaving.

  The ten minutes which passed without him could have been ten hours for how long they felt. Emma couldn’t take it anymore and got up, making her way through the house with the few lights Jules had lit leading up the stairs.

  “Jules,” she called. It was humiliating to admit that a grown girl was a little afraid of the dark, but she didn’t know what else could be making her heart beat this hard.

  “In here,” his deep voice rang out.

  Emma came to a door which Jules had pointed out on the tour as being his bedroom. She could see the light shining out through the little crack left open. Pushing gently, Emma came to a complete stop at what she saw.

  Julian bent over lighting what had to be the millionth candlestick in the room. Coming from the darkness of the lounge room and the hall, it was like some beautiful haven from the outside.

  Emma studied Julian’s face, his long eyelashes casting shadows on his cheeks, his muscles bunching and smoothing as he moved. He was so much more than handsome. Emma realized that he must be here just to torture her, to make her want something she couldn’t have.

  Jules looked up upon hearing the little sigh escape her lips, despite Emma’s best attempts.

  “Emma,” he said, his voice deep and soft, “are you alright?”

  She eyed at him for a long moment, and, without warning, blurted out “Screw it!” Before bounding across the room and pressing her mouth to his.

  Chapter 24

  Emma felt like everything had stopped. Time had frozen and all the little worries fizzled away with Emma’s last grips on her self-control.

  It took her only a moment after she first launched herself at Julian for his shock to melt away and wrap his arms around her with an agonized, satisfied groan. Another moment after that, Emma realized that time had stopped to allow her body to adjust to such an earth-shattering occurrence.

  They kissed as they’d never kissed before, deep, their passion for one another dictating it, with Emma at the reigns. She had made the decision to not fight anymore, whether it was her desire for Julian, her hatred, or deeper feelings; Emma didn’t care anymore; it was too exhausting to pretend she didn’t feel what she felt: heat

  Emma op
ened her eyes from under her haze of the sudden passion to watch as Julian lowered his head to kiss her. His beautiful face so close that every one of his eyelashes brushed her cheek. Their faces fitted each other’s, Julian’s cheekbones slotting naturally around hers, her plump lips giving way under his harder, more persistent ones.

  His eyes opened; his gaze penetrated her with their meaningful and bare glance that Emma gasped as their lips locked, and dropped her head to press her lips to his neck. Jules groaned again and a shiver pulsed through him. Emma smiled against his tanned skin, which glowed from the candle light, and worked her way down his neck: kissing, sucking, and nipping until she reached his collar bone, while her delicate fingers roamed Jules’ torso, tracing the line of his jaw, his elongated neck, and the jutting bone. He breathed heavily as she kissed him, his hands pushing her hips into his until his fingers found the bare flesh between her t-shirt and jeans.

  A few days ago, Emma would have slapped herself for letting a half whimper escape her because of a single touch from a boy, but Jules was no boy, and she cast aside her old fears as she pushed her hands up under Jules’ ivory t-shirt until she touched his smooth, well-muscled chest.

  Lips locked, Emma yanked at his shirt in an effort to rip it off. It stuck to his wide shoulders. Aching even more for her, Jules seized the shirt from Emma’s grasp and ripped it over his head, tossing it to the ground.

  Emma stepped back, marveling at Jules’ toned muscles, and the beads of sweat that glistened in the dancing candlelight, feeling like a coil spring twisted in her stomach as she physically ached to feel him.

  Watching her reaction, sinful smile lit Julian’s face and he reached for her hands, placing her palms to his firm chest.

  Emma groaned with pleasure.

  “So you’ve finally realized,” he whispered against her earlobe.

  “What?” Emma asked.

  “What you’ve been missing.”

  Emma replied by pressing her soft, plump lips against Jules’ in an electrically charged kiss.

  His strong hands reached up under her light t-shirt with such persistence that Emma quaked and goose-pimples formed wherever his fingers touched her, lighting a fire beneath her skin, begging for more. He lifted the shirt over her head in one swift move, and to her surprise, Emma didn’t feel the least bit embarrassed as he took a step backwards, still holding onto her slender waist, to study her half-naked form. “I’ve wanted to see you like this again, since that first day.”

  Emma remembered the day he found her wearing only her peach underwear and wondered why she had been horrified then, when now, all she desired was for him to see her entire form. “How about I show you a little more.”

  Jules pressed his forehead to hers, taking in her jasmine perfume, while she, in turn, lost herself to the smell of peppermint and a building thunderstorm, as his meaty hands caressed the small of Emma’s back, until they reached the clasp of her lacy bra. He fiddled with it for a second, teasing her, tempting her, before snapping it open, allowing the lacy material to glide to the floor as shadows danced upon them. Emma stood before him with her exposed breasts, marveling at how the golden glow of the candles made them come alive, and aroused Jules even more, as the slight bulge in his jeans conveyed. He lifted his hands and touched her chilled flesh, smoothing them over her breasts before wrapping them around her back, pulling her further into his comforting embrace, and lowering his head to kiss her. Jolts of electricity shot through Emma from the passion within his kiss, and her hands moved to his belt, but he stopped her.

  With a firm, but surprisingly gentle gesture, Jules moved their hands to her narrow hips and undid her pants (while still locked in the kiss) and slid them down to her ankles as she lifted her bare feet to kick them off. On the way up, Jules planted caressing kisses on her calf, then her thigh, stroking and rubbing before pausing at her waist. He looked up at her and Emma returned his gaze, giving him permission to remove the lace rimmed panties. With his index finger, Jules snapped the elastic band, causing Emma to jerk from arousal. Slowly, he tugged them downward and off of her—for a brief moment Emma wished she had remembered to wax the little spot of hair that dotted her treasure—and rose to his feet, all the while stroking her skin, teasing her nether area, before straightening to his full height.

  Standing naked before him, Emma jumped on him, forcing her lips upon his and wrapping her legs around his waist, squeezing tight, telling him that she desired—no!—needed him. Jules, placed his hand beneath the curve of her buttocks, cradling her as he carried her to the bed. They sank into the pillow-topped mattress as it folded around them, their lips never parting. Both pairs of hands grasped and pulled at the other desperate to be connected, never wanting to let go.

  He cupped her firm breasts, squeezing, teasing the nipples as they perked beneath his fingers, before he buried his face in the soft mounds, licking and kissing, while slipping his forefingers into the folds of the flesh between her legs, rubbing, feeding her desire for more. Before he had given her too much, Emma’s hands flew to his belt and ripped it free of his jeans. She undid the button and yanked them off of him, releasing him.

  Emma opened herself up for Jules, allowing him entrance as he slipped inside of her, pulsing, thrusting, causing her to cup her hands around the firm muscles of his behind and push him further into her. Locked together as one, Jules jerked back and forth inside of Emma, his one desire, while she remained open on the bed, her hands gripping the sheets from the ecstasy that spurned through her. Jules gripped Emma’ breasts again, squeezing hard while pushing deeper inside of her, ready to burst from the passion and—

  The explosion inside of Emma coursed through her body as Jules released himself, fulfilling Emma’s, and his, desire since the day he had seen her in her peach underwear. He relaxed, and locked together in their lover’s embrace, each fell asleep beneath the dancing candlelight, oblivious to the night’s worries, comforted in their love.

  Chapter 25

  “So,” Emma said while shoveling her eighteen-hundredth spoon of honeycomb ice-cream into her mouth, “start again, you were telling me about this new band. What’s their name, Beauty Con? Sally Con?”

  Jules chuckled into her ear. “Master Con. They’re really good actually—kind of an Indie Strokes.”

  “Cool.”

  The clock struck eight as the faint sunlight spilled through the slit in the semi-sheer curtains. During the night, while they slept, the blackout ended and the lights came back on, but Jules had gotten up and turned them off again, preferring the atmosphere of the candle-light, and hoping to preserve the magic they had created between him and Emma.

  Now she lay against his bare chest, more comfortable than she’d ever been in her entire life, shoving spoonfuls of honeycomb cereal into her mouth. Emma had no desire to discuss the previous night’s events, glad to have finally admitted to herself the attraction, and love, she felt towards Jules, and hoped he still felt the same about her.

  “Hey!” she shrieked as Jules kissed her forehead before and stole her spoon, dipping it in the tub of chocolate chip ice-cream in his hands..

  “What about you?” he asked, “What were you planning to do before you decided to flee to Europe?”

  Emma’s brow crinkled for a moment. “I guess—I suppose I was planning on going to college, after I married Luke and everything.”

  “But not anymore?” Jules said, running his hand down her arm.

  “No, not anymore.”

  “Why not?”

  “I’m a little…displaced right now; not to mention that all of the college’s I wanted to go to are way out of my price range now, unless I want to go ahead and get married for real.”

  “What college’s did you want to attend?”

  Emma sighed, all of her childhood dreams of college and independence seemed a distant memory now..

  “I was accepted on early admittance to Dartmouth; it was always where I thought I wanted to go, but now…I don’t know if I’d be able to jus
t go home.”

  “Hmm,” Jules murmured, his beautiful mouth pouting. “You know, I go to university.”

  “You do?” Emma asked, looking at him with surprise.

  “Yep. Bachelor of Business and Music Production.”

  “How—how do you even manage that?”

  Jules laughed. “It’s not without effort I assure you, but it’s worth it in the end.”

  “Well, what university are you at?”

  “Oxford.”

  Emma’s mouth dropped, glad that she wasn’t facing him anymore. How was it possible that he was gorgeous and a secret genius? He was fast becoming the perfect man and Emma wasn’t sure if she should believe it.

  She shrugged off the thought. “Oh, well,” she said, “I suppose I have to go home sometime. Maybe I should just go back in time for school and settle.”

  Though Emma had been talking to herself more than Jules, he answered anyway. “You know, Emma, you don’t have to go back home. You don’t have to settle.”

  “I don’t?” she asked, more confused than ever.

  “No, you can stay here, with me.”

  Emma’s mind stopped and she froze in his arms torn between her desire to go home, and her wish to stay here, in his arms, forever. She responded the only way she could think to. “Julian?”

  “Yeah?”

  “We’re out of ice-cream.”

  Chapter 26

  Emma always thought it was weird how one minute you could be sitting there completely content with your life, and the next, questioning everything that you once wanted. She used to want to go to college at Dartmouth, get a degree in anything that sounded good on a resume, marry Luke, and plot out her life until retirement, but now, Emma discovered that the things that made her most happy were the very things that she knew had no future such as, sitting curled up in Julian’s arms, or thinking about all of the things she could do with her life now that she had no ambitions, or expectations.

  Maybe she’d travel the world.