Darcy's Passions

by Regina Jeffers

  “Of course, Mr. Darcy, we are honored you chose our establishment once again.We heard from Miss Darcy on her return to Pemberley you took a wife.We extend our well wishes, Sir. Mrs. Harvey will show you to your rooms, and I will have your trunks brought up, Sir.Will you be joining us in the dining room, Mr. Darcy?”

  Darcy looked about the room crowded with common travelers often found on the roads leading to and from London. No one of consequence was noted and inroads of his former disdain for others showed on his face and in the manner in which he said, “No, Mr. Harvey, we will take our meal in the room.”

  “Yes, Sir, I will have it delivered shortly.”

  With the requirements for all their needs outlined to the innkeeper, Darcy took Elizabeth’s arm in his, and then they ascended the steps to the room. She watched him intently throughout this charade he played whenever they were in public. Two different men possessed his body. Although not as severe as her first impression of him, Darcy still possessed the same haughty reserve he used with her and others in Hertfordshire.Then there was the man who shared her bed, brought her flowers, and searched for her approval. Elizabeth supposed his breeding taught him to expect a certain amount of veneration from others. She found it both amusing and exhilarating how he could command a room simply by stepping through its doorway. She assumed she would never be able to duplicate such power over others. He may teach her the “workings” of Pemberley, but she doubted she could ever command people’s respect as he did.

  During the evening, Darcy became quieter and more resistant than she had seen him, and Elizabeth felt unsure as they neared Pemberley whether he ventured second thoughts about their relationship or whether he tired of her “silliness.” He stared at his wife, but it was not the stare that displayed his passion for her.This look showed contempt and disorder. Conversation was minimal, and when they crawled into bed that evening, Elizabeth felt disappointment because for the first time he did not take her into his arms. She could tolerate his not talking to her over dinner, but she did not think she could live without his touching her. Distraught, she began to sob although she fought to hide her feelings.

  It was sometime before she felt his hand taking hers. They lay on their backs staring up at the ceiling’s darkness. Darcy held her hand, but that was all he offered her. “Elizabeth?” His voice came out distant and shallow.

  “Yes, Fitzwilliam.” Elizabeth waited for his rejection; she did not think he would deny her in public, but she would just be “Mrs. Darcy” from now on. The tears rolled down her cheeks, but she emitted no sounds; she would not let him know it hurt her.

  It was a long time before he spoke again.“I do not . . . I do not want to lose what we had in London.” She allowed herself a little gasp.“I was standing downstairs giving orders to Mr. Harvey, and I realized how little I changed after all. It frightened me I could so easily slip back to the way I was before there was Elizabeth Bennet.” The tears flowed more freely, but the darkness shielded them from Darcy’s view. “Elizabeth, please say something.”

  She swallowed hard before she answered. “Fitzwilliam, you cannot control your station in life; it is what you do with the position which will define you.”

  He rolled over to caress her face when he realized she cried. “Elizabeth, have I offended you?”

  The tears flowed faster as the tenderness in his voice swept over her.“I thought you held second thoughts of taking me to Pemberley. I thought you sorry for your decision to make me your wife.”

  “Elizabeth, do you not know by now I could never deny my love for you? I think of nothing else; you control—consume me. Even when I acted as such downstairs, it was my perverted way of protecting you from others.”

  She began slowly, trying to find the words to bring him peace. “I too was amused at how you slipped in and out of both social modes,” she stammered, “but, Fitzwilliam, you were never what you may seem to others; you could not change completely—no one can change all the experiences which define him—the man in whose arms I fall asleep each night is the man you always were; the other is your protection from the world—the same as I face the world with a saucy manner. I am impetuous, and at one time saw only faults in others; ironically, those faults I found within myself as well.” During this, his face was buried in her hair, and she stroked the back of his head. “We are very much alike, my Love; we are neither purely one thing nor another; there are no pure breeds here; we are a mixed breed as will be our children.” Darcy allowed himself a chuckle at this reference. “Fitzwilliam, please, we can be conventional and gracious at the same time. There was a time I renounced your social sense; now I value many of those same practices as part of the man you became.You do not have to decide to be one or the other; you may be the man your parents wanted you to be in all your glory and social standing and also be the man who graciously receives the love and respect of those who know him. Your parents would want that man to be the master of Pemberley.”

  Elizabeth knew from the short bursts of his shoulders he too sobbed. Finally, he spoke softly. “It seems we see things in each other no one saw before. We are only perfectly understood by each other.”

  She laughed lightly. “I always said, there is a great similarity in the turn of our minds.”Then she said more seriously,“Fitzwilliam, I wanted nothing but to be with you at Pemberley for months now, but I will not settle for the house. I want the man with whom I spent the last two weeks. I want the passion; I cannot live without your touch. Can you not be both? A person can only be known by the quality of his performance.”

  His kisses began at the back of her neck, as Darcy’s hands moved slowly up her body; he encircled her with his and hearing her breath catch and feeling her body rise to meet his, he was spell-bound by his love for her. “Lizzy, I love you more than life itself. I cannot be anything without your love.”

  “Then let me judge your performance, Mr. Darcy,” she giggled.

  “Your wish is my command, Mrs. Darcy.” They melted into one.

  It became evident to both of them on this trip they would occasionally face moments of self-doubt, but not questions of their devotion to each other.The morning brought them a few minutes of quiet reflection before they began to prepare for the final part of their journey.As usual, she lay across his chest. “Fitzwilliam, may we look about the village before we leave? A short walk would be pleasant if it is safe to do so.”

  “The woman refuses to shop in the finest establishments in London, but she wishes to stop her journey to her new home to see what the local merchants have to offer.”

  “You knew I was a small town country girl when you proposed, Mr. Darcy,” she taunted him once again.

  As they walked about the village, Elizabeth glowed with happiness. She conversed with the shopkeepers, eventually choosing a few small trinkets for Georgiana but also for Mrs. Annesley and Mrs. Reynolds.“They will be surprised by the gift,” is all Darcy said.

  As they prepared to leave, a brown and white pup came scampering across the wooden walkway and hid in the hem of Elizabeth’s skirt. She stepped back gingerly and picked up the pup, caressing it while scratching behind its ears and making cooing sounds. She held it up to her husband. “Is it not adorable, Fitzwilliam?”

  “It is a dog, Elizabeth. Most dogs are not adorable.”

  “Well, this one is.” She held it in the air and made the cooing noise again. “Look, Love, it has those same sad Darcy-type eyes. I bet it could duplicate the look.”

  “Elizabeth, you never cease to surprise me. Tell me, if I offer to purchase the dog from Mr. Harvey, I will not find it in our bed at night.”

  “Oh, Fitzwilliam, I never had a pet before; Mama would never allow it.” She was so excited he could not hide his happiness at giving her something she wanted.

  He cautioned, “This is a Springer spaniel, Elizabeth. It is an outside dog—a hunting dog—a gun dog; it is not a lap dog one sees in the finer homes in London.”

  “I understand, Fitzwilliam. Could we not tr
ain it to go out with me on my walks or when we ride?”

  Darcy pulled her close and then tapped her chin with his index finger, and she gifted him with a quick kiss although they were on the streets of the village. “I will speak to Mr. Harvey before we leave.” He rolled his eyes.

  In the coach the dog slept at her feet or curled up on her lap the rest of the way to Pemberley. Darcy feigned annoyance, but she knew he enjoyed her enthusiasm. “I cannot wait for someone to ask what wedding gifts I gave you, Elizabeth. They will think I married a soldier when they hear you asked for a horse, a gun, and a hunting dog.”

  “I keep telling you I am a foolish woman, Sir.” She put the pup down on the floor and crawled into his lap.“You do not think me to have no feminine qualities, do you, Fitzwilliam?” She giggled when she saw his face soften and felt his body hardened to her advances. With her arms wound tightly around his neck, she professed her love for him by starting her kisses in the soft indentation of his shoulder and working her way up.

  “I admire all your feminine qualities, Mrs. Darcy.” He pulled her closer to him and enjoyed the heat of her kiss.

  Arriving at Pemberley, Elizabeth alighted from the carriage to be greeted by the staff lined up along the drive and entryway. On his arm as usual, Darcy cupped his free hand over hers and held it tightly in place, fearing her taking flight at seeing the enormity of the change in her life as his wife. He took his time and allowed each of the staff members the courtesy of acknowledging his new mistress. Darcy introduced Elizabeth to key staff members, and she made an effort to learn as many names as possible in such a short period of time.To see her comment on the flowers offered by several of the children and her reaching out to touch the hand of many of those in attendance pleased him. She knew not what impression she gave to those anxious to know something of the woman he chose for his wife, but Darcy missed not one reaction. Elizabeth’s approachable manner and genuine smile made her an instant favorite. He knew many staff members feared someone such as the infamous Miss Bingley, a woman whom all found intolerable at best; Mr. Darcy’s good sense at marrying a woman who was both handsome and in possession of pleasant airs impressed them.

  At the top of the steps stood Georgiana, Mrs. Reynolds, Mr. Howard, and Mrs. Annesley. Georgiana’s excitement caused her to fidget in place waiting her turn to greet her brother and Elizabeth. Darcy reached out and took her hand to pull Georgiana to his side while introducing Elizabeth first to Mr. Howard and then to Mrs. Reynolds. Darcy stood in awe of Elizabeth’s command of the situation. Although not accustomed to such formal settings, Mr. Howard took the hand Elizabeth extended and made his sincere congratulations. Mrs. Reynolds, who held the Darcys in warm regard, was beside herself with joy with Elizabeth’s arrival as Pemberley’s new mistress.“I am pleased to welcome you to Pemberley, Mrs. Darcy.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Reynolds. I will be depending on your help and guidance. Mr. Darcy’s trust in your ability to run Pemberley will be invaluable to me as its new mistress.” Such accolades won Mrs. Reynolds early.Then unexpectedly, Elizabeth gave Mrs. Reynolds a quick embrace. Although Darcy realized Elizabeth’s motivation came more from the memory of the woman’s part in bringing her and Darcy together, the unabashed enthusiasm displayed increased Elizabeth’s regard in the opinions of those on staff who saw it, and Darcy found nothing to which to object.

  Elizabeth dropped her eyes quickly when she looked up at Darcy; she realized too late her hugging Mrs. Reynolds was a break in decorum before she even entered the house, but Darcy slipped his arm around her waist to pull her closer and to assure her he was not upset with her impetuous act.They both greeted Mrs. Annesley, and the two elderly women reentered the estate together.That just left Georgiana; Darcy and Elizabeth turned together toward the girl who bubbled with excitement. The three embraced each other repeatedly and talked over one another in greeting. Happy as he had ever been, Darcy entered the main hallway with Elizabeth on one arm and Georgiana on the other.

  A rather formal act, she took his arm for their first ascent of the staircase, symbolizing their marriage coming together at last.They left Georgiana in the second floor drawing room, and he escorted Elizabeth to their chambers. Beforehand, he gave orders to bring the pup to Mrs. Darcy’s dressing area. At the top of the staircase he said,“For many nights last fall at Netherfield, Elizabeth, I fell asleep imagining you standing on this very staircase. Now my dreams are complete; you are no longer here standing and waiting for me; you are now at the top of the staircase and entering our chambers as my wife. Life is good.” He bent to kiss her gently on the lips. “It is pleasant to be no longer waiting for you.” His smile of contentment encased her.

  “It has always been just you, Fitzwilliam. It is just you I love.”

  When the weather permitted, Darcy and Elizabeth rode out across their land each morning. He chose a horse of a gentle nature but deceptively fast for Elizabeth, and how quickly she learned to ride pleased him. A natural and not easily intimidated, Elizabeth’s spirit played out as they raced across valleys and over rises.They could be seen spurring their mounts—laughing and chasing each other at a whim. Those of finer societies would object to their exuberance, but they did not care; they were together. Darcy introduced her to his tenants, making a point of her knowing about each family. His ability to call all his tenants by name and to listen to their concerns impressed her and gave her a great sense of pride. Along with Mr. Howard, they examined the fields and the smaller structures on the estate. Mr. Howard was uncomfortable with the idea at first, but he soon found Mrs. Darcy’s ability to adapt to each situation in which she found herself fascinating. Darcy protected his wife, but he also shared all aspects of his life at Pemberley with her. Mr. Howard knew of no relationship like the one he viewed at the great house. Mrs. Darcy was privy to plans for expansion, renewal, repair, and refurbishing of the estate; Darcy was adamant about her need to be a part of every decision affecting his holdings.

  Watching Elizabeth spend time each day with Georgiana satisfied him. The two played music and went for walks. They spent time with their needlework and helping the new vicar administer to the poor. In Darcy’s view, even though Elizabeth had been at Pemberley only a fortnight, an outside observer would have thought her to be born there.

  One afternoon, she and Darcy walked the path upon which they met that eventful day in August.The pup trailed after her when it did not chase the game birds by the stream.They walked hand-in-hand reliving the feelings of their finding each other again. “I was embarrassed you found me here. I thought you would believe me to be trying to curry favor with you once again.” Elizabeth paused to look at him.

  “Elizabeth, all I thought was God gave me a second chance. I decided if God gave me such an opportunity, I would declare my devotion to you and hope you would receive my intentions!”

  “Now, we have been married a month; God moves in mysterious ways, my Love.” Elizabeth put her arms around his neck. “Even when hope of our finding love was against us, I still hoped.” Going up on her tiptoes, she kissed him, engulfed in his nearness. Darcy nipped at her ear as his arms wrapped around her waist. His gaze settled on her lips, and Elizabeth leaned in where only their breath separated them. “You have married a shameless woman, Mr. Darcy. I choose to kiss you in front of God and anyone who may be watching.”

  “Mrs. Darcy, I do not seem to be withdrawing from your advances.” Frozen with desire, he did not move.

  “This is true, Mr. Darcy.” The blush of her face told of her need to have him.“Where does that leave us?”

  “I believe our walk has come to an end,” he said, not letting her go. “Some quiet reflection in our chambers could answer your question, Elizabeth.”

  “I believe you are correct, Mr. Darcy.” She giggled with anticipation. They turned back toward the house. “Come, Hero,” she called to the dog.

  “Must that dog always go where we go?” he teased. “I knew I might regret giving you what you want.”

  “That
is too bad, Fitzwilliam,” she countered, “because what I want right now is you.”

  Darcy’s ardor grew quickly; he turned and kissed her again. “I am a man who dotes on his wife, it seems.” He took her hand and led her toward the staircase.

  CHAPTER 22

  “A woman especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can.”

  Darcy was at his desk in his study when both Elizabeth and Georgiana entered. “Fitzwilliam,” Elizabeth said, so excited she rushed to his side, “Georgiana and I were going through some of your mother’s things.We came across a ledger and some notes about an annual celebration she held for the tenants between Christmas and New Year’s. Do you remember those?”

  “Of course, Elizabeth, but that was years ago; they stopped with her death.” Remembering his mother brought him a renewed sadness, one he had not felt since returning to Pemberley with Elizabeth as his wife.

  “Georgiana and I would like to bring back the tradition if you have no objections.”

  Looking at both of them, Darcy’s eyes sparkled with a new resolve. Georgiana came forward. “Fitzwilliam, months ago you said you would share your memories of our mother with me. May we start with this tradition?”

  He came around the desk to embrace his sister.“My memories are those of a young boy, but you remind me more of her each day—the way you turn your head and that look when you are excited about something for the first time. Georgiana, I do not object, but will you and Elizabeth be able to organize this in such a short duration?”

  Elizabeth joined them. “Fitzwilliam, I have nothing to do for our gathering on New Year’s nor for decorating the house for Christmas. Mrs. Reynolds took care of all those details. Georgiana and I both want to be a part of your vision for Pemberley. May we begin with reestablishing your mother’s connection to this estate?”