by Pinson, K.
Chapter 9: A second chance and I’m going to take it.
Krissi’s POV
This may be my second chance. It’s like fate put Daxton in front of that car to bring us back together. Okay, that may be a bit delusional, but it feels right. Gabe, of all people, called me to come up to the hospital right after Daxton woke up. I had known he was in an accident, but I was asked by Gram not to go up to the hospital. She told me of his fiancé and how distraught she would be if I showed up. Truthfully, I really couldn’t give a shit less about the fiancé, but I do have the utmost respect for Gram. I’m just happy that she called me and let me know what was going on. I’d sat on her porch for hours, just waiting.
I dress to kill in skinny jeans and a tight black In Spades t-shirt. This was one of the first designs that the band had, way back when. Daxton loved me in band t-shirts - something about a girl that could still look sexy, even when she didn’t have to try. I loved when he was sweet with me. That is one of the things I miss the most. The man has always had a way with words.
My palms are sweaty as I grip the steering wheel hard. I’m not really sure what to expect when I get there, but Gabe said Daxton was asking for me and I didn’t hesitate for a moment. That may sound extremely desperate to most, but this was Daxton we’re talking about. He was my everything at one time. I fucked it all up, I know that, but I’ve already heavily paid for my wrong. I think the good has finally arrived in my life. When I pull up at the hospital, I flip my visor mirror down to double check my makeup and hair. Yep, still perfect.
I climb out of my car, lock it, and head inside the hospital. I already know the room and floor number, Gabe had texted me it just a few minutes after we got off the phone. It was a really awkward conversation. I’m surprised that he even still had my phone number. When I get to Daxton’s room, butterflies suddenly invade my stomach. I’m usually never nervous so this is definitely a new feeling for the always confident Krissi Adams.
Knocking lightly on the door, I rock on the backs of my heels in anticipation.
I hear a gruff, “Come in” and my heart goes into overdrive. I walk in, holding my head high, trying to appear a lot less fazed than I am. Daxton used to always comment on my strength and independence - one of my best attributes according to him. If only he would have known how weak I really was.
“How are you feeling?” I ask.
“Much better. I’ve still got a killer headache, but they said I’m healing like a champ,” he instantly responds. He’s hooked up to a machine monitoring his heart rate, and an IV, but ultimately he doesn’t look much different than the Daxton I had just talked to. I heard that the accident was really bad, so I’m honestly surprised.
“Well, you look great.” The last interaction we had comes into my mind and I wince subconsciously.
“What’s that face for?” He questions me quietly.
“Oh…nothing. Just wondering why you asked me up here.” I have to know. If he’s planning on reaming me a new ass again, I’ll take it just to be near him.
“What are you talking about, Krissi? I know I haven’t been myself lately, but I still consider you my girl.” This sends me reeling. I have no idea what to think or say and my jaw probably dropped nearly to the floor.
“Hum…Daxton…how much do you remember before the accident?” I’m not sure if I even want to know the answer because it’s been a painful last couple of years without him, but I deserve to know if he’s just messing with me or what in the world is really going on.
“You must have talked to the doctors. Okay, I admit it. I’ve lost most of my short term memory in the accident. I have a pretty bad brain injury but I’m fine, Krissi. Really. I’m assuming you already know this. At this point I’m just rambling. But I need you to know, I remember us. That’s all that should matter, right?” He stares into my eyes and reaches out his hand for me. I can’t help but take a few steps forward and latch on for dear life. I can feel warm tears begin to course down my cheeks. I should tell him that I’m no longer his girl - that he’s found someone new - but I just can’t. I’m too selfish for that. I’m not a bad person, I just want him.
“You and me, pretty girl, remember?” I nod my head. I can’t find it in me to do anything else.
“Why the tears? I know I’ve hurt you, I’m sorry. I’m just so messed up over the loss of my Dad. I’ll fix this, though. I won’t let you down again. This accident has really opened my eyes to what’s important in my life. I promise I’ll make it all right. Don’t cry, pretty girl.” His words keep tugging at my heart strings and I’m waiting to wake up, to feel the relapse of being alone, but it doesn’t come. I’m here, with Daxton, and he thinks it’s still us against the world. I can make this work; I’m determined to do just that. I can make him fall back in love with me. His mind is playing tricks on him right now, but there’s a place for me somewhere in his heart. I just need to find it.
“I’m happy, that’s all.” I respond and I mean it. He smiles at me and I almost feel like I’ve traveled back in time. All of the happy memories we’ve ever shared resurfacing. I don’t know how long this will last, but I’m hoping this is it for a lifetime. No man has been able to rival Daxton. He is getting released tomorrow. He’s going to his home, but he thinks it is our home and I’m not going to tell him differently. His family and friends aren’t thrilled that I’m carrying on with this charade, but they don’t want to be the one to make him go backwards. So they sure the fuck aren’t going to tell him the truth. I wish that everyone would realize that, in the end, whether Daxton remembers or not is not an issue for me. He will realize that he’s never stopped loving me. I’m sure of that fact, as much as the sky is blue.
When it gets late, I kiss him goodbye. The same passion I used to feel is not behind the kiss; there is no spark, but I chalk that up to the accident. I’m sure things will get better between us in time. We can grow to love each other again.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says, smiling at me. I return it with ease and I wave before I turn and walk to my car. I sit down in the driver’s seat, feeling a bit uneasy, like I could be sick at any moment. I swallow down the bile burning in my throat and continue on with my drive back to my parents where I’m currently staying. I’m having some doubts, but when his smiling face comes into my mind, they are overshadowed instantly.
Chapter 10: No worse job than big brother duty.
Gabe’s POV
“Yeah, I’m waiting in the lobby for them to bring him down. I promise I’ll keep you updated, Sis,” I tell her, trying to sound reassuring. I’ve been on the phone with Avalynn for the past hour. I don’t know how to comfort her, tell her that everything is going to work out; that he’ll remember everything and things will go back to normal. I can’t find it in me to reassure her of something that I don’t know for sure will happen. I do know, however, that she is a mess. I’ve never seen a woman cry so much in my entire life. Gram would have come to the hospital herself if I would have let her, but she was sick this morning. She could barely even get out of bed, so I brought breakfast to her. I’ve been staying in town for a couple of days, wanting to be near my brother and the FAM. It’s where I need to be right now.
Avalynn responds in short sentences. She starts to ask me to tell Daxton that she loves him, but quickly takes back her statement. She claims to understand why we are keeping the truth from him, but I don’t fucking get it. Sure, I don’t want to be the one to send him through a backwards spiral, but I feel like if anyone can pull him out of this funk, it’s Ava. I’ve never seen my brother love anyone as much as he does her. Not even Krissi, contrary to popular belief. His love for Krissi was young, immature, and deceitful. Ava and he have created something completely pure and real… something I hope to have someday.
When I see the nurses wheel Daxton over, I let Ava know I’ll call her with an update later and I quickly hang up the phone. I smile at my baby bro, happy to see him looking so much better.
“What’s up, little man?” I a
sk him teasingly. He doesn’t look impressed. I wouldn’t expect anything different from him and it cracks me up.
“Never heard that one from any of the ladies.” he retorts, causing me to laugh more.
“But seriously dude, you look much better.” I place my hand on his shoulder and grip.
“Don’t get all emotional on me now. I’m going to get enough of that when I see Gram and Krissi.” He says, shaking his head. “Krissi?” I ask. I know that he asked her up to the hospital, but I kind of assumed she’d be honest with him - at least about the fact that they weren’t together anymore.
“Yeah…you know…brunette, hot as hell…my girlfriend?” He looks at me oddly, like I’m the one who’s lost their mind.
“She’s not telling you everything dude.” I respond and instantly regretting saying it.
“What are you talking about?” He questions.
“Just be careful, that’s all I’m saying.” I don’t want to be the one to tell him. I can’t hurt him anymore than I already have. This is finally my chance for redemption, to build that relationship back up with my brother that I’ve missed so badly. That fling with Krissi wasn’t fucking worth it. It’ll be something I’ll always regret - not to mention the fact that she never gave a damn about me. She used me to temporarily fill her void. Fuck that shit, I deserve way better.
I walk behind Daxton to push the wheelchair to my car, but he stops me.
“I can walk.” he states determinedly. I don’t argue - I know better than to argue with his stubborn ass. I’ll be right behind him, in case he falls, but I’m going to let him attempt to do this at least. He puts the brakes on and stands unsteadily, swaying back and forth for a couple of minutes to regain his balance, before putting one foot slowly in front of the other and walking to my car. I’m proud of him. He makes it, but seems extremely exhausted by the time I finally get him in the car. He doesn’t complain about it though; he’s always been a fighter. When our Mom left, it was him who comforted me. I’m the big brother, but I’ve never been able to act like it. He’s always been the strong one. I admire him more than he knows.
Before I have a chance to start the engine, Daxton stops me to ask a question.
“Who was on the phone? It must have been a chick by the grin on your face while you were talking.” Daxton winks at me and I almost throw up, suddenly feeling guilty. I have no reason to feel this way, but I hate withholding information from him when we are finally getting on a good level. I’m trying to take into consideration that it is for his best interest health wise, but I’m not so sure it’s best in every facet of his life to keep the truth from him.
I gulp and contemplate how to respond.
“Its okay brother, I get it. No need to explain. We all have our secrets.” he says with a smile. As much as I’d like to refute his statement, I think about the look on Gram’s face when she first heard about the accident, how much progress Daxton has made since, and I decide to seal my lips.
Regrettably, I take him to his apartment. Krissi is waiting next to her car in skinny jeans and a tight red shirt that leaves little to the imagination - she’s obviously in it to win it. I can only hope that Daxton’s memory comes back before he does something he’ll never be able to forgive himself for. I know for a fact that hurting Avalynn would be his biggest regret.
“Do me a favor, Dax,” I request seriously. “Just take things slow with Krissi. Like I said, you don’t know everything - take my word for it man.” He nods his head, looking out the window mesmerized at her before glancing at me with a facial expression saying he’s not going to take anything slow. Simply, that scares the fuck out of me. There’s nothing I can do, though. Not without potentially hurting my brother and pissing off my entire family …again.
He gets out of the car slowly, without my help, and makes his way over to Krissi. She helps him inside and turns around to smile at me. I don’t return the gesture. I really just want to flip her dumb ass the bird, but I refrain. Definitely don’t need to get into it with Daxton over her.
As soon as they are out of sight, I lose my shit. Pure anger boils inside of me; I’ve never felt so fucking confused in my entire life. I push everything I’m feeling down to the bottom of my stomach and muster up enough calmness to call Avalynn and let her know that he is home and safe. I don’t tell her about Krissi, I just can’t yet - it would kill her. Damn, it’s tough being the deciding factor on everyone else’s fate. I’d like to worry about my own damn self for once. This must be my karma for fucking up to begin with; I guess it could be a lot worse.
Hell, I think I’m going to stay single for a long while. All this drama is even hurting my heart.
Chapter 11:
Trying to make it through.
***Faith***
I never in a million years thought that I’d be spending my Friday afternoon hanging out with a six year old. But, here I am, picking her up for the third day in a row. I don’t mind, the kid definitely has spunk. I’m growing more attached to her every day that we spend together. It’s not like I have much of a social life lately, unless you count wallowing in self-pity at the bottom of a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Yeah, I’ve sunk that low, and I absolutely hate this part of myself.
Tripp decided that with everything going on amongst our friends it was best we went our separate ways. It seems like he is afraid to step into enemy territory. I understand where he’s coming from, to an extent, but all this outside crap has nothing to do with us. But whatever, I wasn’t one of the clingy fan girls he was used to messing with anyway. I was that throw-your-middle-fingers-up-in-the-air-bitch that everyone loved to hate. Regardless, it still hurt and I admittedly miss him, as much as it pains me to say it. I would never admit the hurt to him though.
My bene-friendship coming to a close was hardly front page news compared to everything else going on, so I vowed to put all my personal shit aside. Ava and Abby needed me and they were far more important than what I was feeling. Besides, if he didn’t want me, it was his loss. In the words of a famous youtube video that I cannot stop watching, ‘Ain’t nobody got time for that.’
Pushing Tripp far from my mind, I put my poker face on. Ava was slowly breaking down before my eyes and I wasn’t going to push her further over the edge. Whenever I got to talk with her, she always made it a point to ask how I was doing and never brought up herself. I could tell that she was slowly dwindling away as the light had completely escaped from her eyes, turning them into a dull grey abyss. She never mentioned his name; it was almost as if he never existed at all. I knew that she was seeking counseling a couple of times a week and I was really proud of her for that. She had finally shared a bit of her sordid past with me, but she was still, for the most part, a closed book. I never pried, but I was a willing listener when she needed to talk.
Tonight she had another appointment with her sub conscious and the couch. Sometimes she just needed to be alone. Even the smallest noises triggered her to break down. So I offered to take Abby out to the mall to do some shopping. Money was one thing that I didn’t lack and I was more than happy to splurge on this little girl if it put the smile on her face.
Abby doesn’t really understand a lot of what was going on. Ava constantly gives her made up stories about what happened and changes the subject whenever Abby brings him up. It isn’t my place to step in and tell her the truth, so I try to leave well enough alone - even if I don’t completely agree with Ava’s way of thinking on the matter.
I am absolutely tired of seeing my friend give up on her happiness, though. It boggles my mind how someone so amazing can’t see what a catch she is. I want her to fight for them. Either that, or give the fuck up and move on with her life. Daxton is a great fucking guy, don’t get me wrong. We have our moments, but we are basically like siblings with the way that we fight. But Avalynn is my best friend and the girl is beyond amazing. If his memory never returns and he chooses to be with Krissi, then Avalynn better move on too. I cannot stand to see her this way. I
know I can’t intervene; she needs to make these choices for herself. Nobody can do it for her.
Ava greets me when I enter her home with a small wave as she bends down to kiss Abby on the cheek goodbye. She doesn’t say anything to me, but, at this point, she doesn’t have to. We had gotten on a pretty idiot proof schedule. I watched Abby several times a week now to help out. Ava just can’t spend that much alone time with her. She needs a chance to get away. I don’t pry, I just let her go and step in when I’m needed. That’s the best that I can do for now. I can’t fix this but oh how I wish I could. We are both so fucked over in love right now it’s not even funny. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that a car accident, where nobody died, completely changed the course of both of our lives. I’m going to stick with my philosophy on what’s meant to be will be and just see what happens.
Abby runs to me and reaches her hand out to latch onto mine. She doesn’t seem sad in the slightest to be away from Ava. I think her poor mood is beginning to wear on her Abby, too. It kills me to see that happening because the two of them are like two peas in pod. I wish that Ava could see how much Abby mirrors her actions - she wants to be just like Avalynn. I think to me that would be the greatest form of flattery. I wish that Ava could see how amazing she really is. All I can hope is that she snaps out of this shit. Sooner than later, please.
I lead Abby out to my car and strap her into the back where her car seat sat. I’d gotten a booster seat for her about a week or so ago. She has been riding with me so much that I was getting tired of transferring the one from Ava’s car into my own constantly. When she was firmly strapped into place, I walk around my car to climb into the driver’s seat. I’ve decided that an outing to the mall is just what the two of us need today. I know that shopping always helps to clear my mind. Money has never been an issue for me, so I use it to my full advantage.