by Pinson, K.
I borrowed Tripp’s truck. I’ve been staying with him since Krissi and I split. I didn’t want to go back to that place. The only memories I have currently in it are of her and I and I just don’t feel right about it. I’m nervous as hell to drive; this will be my first time getting behind the wheel since the accident. I wasn’t even driving and it still scares the piss out of me to think of getting into a car or out on the road in general. I man up and decide to do it anyway. This has to be perfect and I’m pretty sure Tripp chauffeuring us around or her picking me up isn’t very romantic. I’d probably lose my man card then. I take one last look in the mirror and a deep calming breath and walk out toward the front door.
“Looking good man! No homo,” Tripp remarks and I can’t help but laugh. He’s chilling on the couch, bowl of cereal in hand.
“Dude, please put some clothes on before you start hitting on me.” He laughs and spews milk all down the front of him. I’m pretty sure he hasn’t showered in a few days now. He’s been taking off from the studio and just sitting at home. He won’t really talk to me, but I’ve heard from the other guys that he and his girl just recently broke up. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with me, but I can’t say for sure and nobody will admit to that either.
“Hey…You want to come with? I’m sure Avalynn might have a hot friend she can hook you up with?” I prod, attempting to lighten the mood. I don’t know who the chick is that he was seeing, but I’m sure it couldn’t have been that serious. Tripp has never been too serious of a guy when it comes to the ladies. His face turns as white as a sheet and he sputters.
“Fuck off, man.” he grumbles and gets up to leave the room just like a chick would. I have no clue what crawled up his butt all of the sudden, but I’m not sticking around to find out why. I know it’s not good to talk to him when he’s pissed. He takes his anger out with his fists and I’ve had enough head injuries for one dude. I grab the keys out of my pocket and take off before he has a chance to change his mind.
I head toward her house and butterflies are swarming around my stomach. I can honestly say I’ve never felt this way - it’s a definite rush. When I pull up outside the address that she gave me, it feels too familiar and I want to throw up all over myself. I wish I could just fucking remember, would definitely make my life easier. I shut off the truck and step out of the driver seat shakily. I make my way toward her door, stargazer lilies lying on the passenger seat. I stopped at the flower shop on the way over and they had my previous orders still in the computer. This must be for her because I know that Krissi would never settle for anything less than red roses, she’s picky like that. I run my hand through my hair anxiously as I ring the doorbell. No more than two minutes later, she opens the door and my heart literally skips a beat. She’s dressed in a little white sundress and pink converse. She looks as if she doesn’t have a shred of make up on and her long blonde hair is down in its natural wave. God, she looks fucking beautiful. I can’t stop staring. I can see the slight bags under eyes and the tension that lies in her shoulders and I wish that I could take it all away, but she still looks gorgeous. I’m pretty positive that she must always look amazing. I’m one lucky dude, that’s for sure.
I finally find my voice. “You look perfect.” I breathe out. She shyly smiles and a slight red creeps up her pale face.
“I’ve missed you,” she says quietly, firmly. Her eyes scan over me and light up just long enough for me to notice that she likes what she sees. “You look very handsome yourself.”
“Don’t I always?” I respond cockily. Truthfully, I don’t know what else to say. I’ve never been huge on compliments. She laughs and it’s like music to my ears.
“Nice to see that not much has changed.” She smirks and playfully pushes my shoulder as she steps out onto the walk and pulls the door closed behind her.
“Don’t you need to lock it?” I question.
“No, Faith is home with Abby,” she says easily, almost as if I should know who Faith and Abby are. I just nod my head to avoid asking her twenty-one questions right away and scaring her off. I want to know everything about her. I want to fall in love with her all over again. I can feel a strong connection to her, deep down, in the pit of my soul. But I just hope that will be enough, good enough for her. She deserves to be loved with a whole heart and a sound mind. I walk back over to the truck quickly and she follows my lead without falter. I open the passenger door and take her hand so she can hop in. She doesn’t really need my help, but just touching her hand makes me feel better about everything. I close the door behind her and walk around to the driver’s side to get in.
I start the truck and head in the direction of the beach. I glance over at her and notice she has the flowers in her hands and tears coming silently down her face. I’m not sure what to say so I reach over and gently grasp her hand. She’s gripping the flowers for dear life so I knead her thumb lightly with mine until she releases a bit. I want to wipe the tears away, but I’m not sure how comfortable she’d feel.
“Are you okay?” I ask her quietly. Quiet, that’s something I’ve never really been in my life and it’s extremely hard to do now. I just don’t want to overstep my boundaries and ruin this all before it even has a chance to really begin.
“I’m fine. Just remembering, that’s all,” “Happy memories I hope?” I question, anxious for her answer. She nods her head in confirmation.
“All my memories with you are happy,” she states easily.
“Well…if you’ll let me, I’d like to continue the trend,” I respond. I know that I can’t reminiscence the past with her, but I can sure the fuck move forward. I’m positive that with her by my side, anything is possible. She smiles and nods again.
“I’d really like that.” My hand starts to get sweaty, so I silently pull it away and wipe it off on my pants. She must’ve seen me do it because she starts to giggle loudly. When I look over at her, shit eating grin on my face, she halts all sound and takes in a deep breath. I can almost see the need behind her eyes, her worry lines getting less prominent by the minute. My pants get tighter instantly at the look on her face, so I glance away. I turn on the radio to try and distract myself. I’m not paying any attention to what’s on, until I hear her sing along. Truthfully, she has a really great voice. When she sings, her voice sounds sultry and sexy, even though appearance wise she is the epitome of innocent. So much for operation turn off, I’m only getting more turned on. Thankfully, time passes quickly.
When we pull up at the beach, she looks pleased and I’m smiling on the inside like a giddy little school boy. I shut the ignition off with quickness and rush around to open the door for her, before she has a chance to fully open it herself. She doesn’t seem like the type that enjoys being catered to, but she deserves it none the less. I grab the picnic basket out of the backseat and she grabs her flowers. I parked the truck right on the beach and there’s nobody really around - it’s still a bit chilly out to actually swim in the water. I let her lead the way and choose where she wants me to lay the blanket down. This is probably one of the first times in my life that I actually feel at a loss for words.
She gets down and stretches out. She hardly seems shy right now, like what everyone had told me she would be like. I don’t dwell on that fact though. Confidence is sexy to me, one of the sexiest things a woman can wear in my honest opinion. I open the basket and pull out all of its confinements including sandwiches of the peanut butter and jelly variety, chips, and fresh fruit. I have wine even though I’m not much of a connoisseur of it myself; I was told that she likes it, though. We eat in silence, but not awkward, just calming. When we’ve finished, I start conversation by asking her questions - about things she likes, dislikes, and is indifferent about. I crave to know every detail about her. We start to get into the nitty gritty about the accident and Abby, whom I haven’t had a chance to meet again. I’ve realized through pictures, that she is the little girl from the mall. It makes me feel like complete shit. There’s nothing I can do abo
ut it though. Ava is protecting her, by not allowing me to come around until we know for sure what we’re doing. It’s almost as if we have to fall in love again. She did invite me to come to the school talent show and I’m glad that I will get to finally get to see her. I promised Ava that I wouldn’t go up to Abby afterwards; that I would hide in the shadows so she doesn’t get upset. She doesn’t really understand my absence - she thinks I am on vacation or something.
We talk for hours about everything and nothing all at once. We do nothing, but kiss. I’m talking about friendly pecks, the passion behind them making it feel like so much more. I can tell that she wants me to take full advantage of her. I can feel her body humming for mine, but I feel the necessity to take things extremely slow with her. We will date, we will get to know each other again, and hopefully things will all work. Only time will tell. I take her home and walk her to the front door and kiss her good night. Just as things begin to heat up, the brunette opens the door. She glares at me and familiarity hits me quick.
“Faith?” I question. The name pops out at me. Avalynn and Faith both look extremely shocked and at a loss for words.
“You’re Faith…you’re… Tripp’s girl?” Memories are fading in, but it’s never focused on me. It’s through my eyes and I can see everyone else around me. Everyone except who is on my arm. I still cannot remember Ava. Avalynn throws her arms around me and I pull back in fear. My brain begins to hurt at this sudden rush of information. She looks at me expectantly so I shake my head in a no movement.
“I still can’t remember everything.” I say, feeling utter disappointment. She doesn’t look sad, though. She smiles at me and squeezes my hand.
“But this is a good sign. You can remember Faith and eventually you’ll be able to remember everything else. Don’t stress about it. I’m not going anywhere - I’m here as long as you want me.” I could tell by her tone just how much she meant that. Faith bounds down the stairs and quickly hugs me. The disdain vibe I got from her quickly evaporating.
“I miss him.” she whispers in my ear. It feels like a secret she’s been holding on to, one she doesn’t feel like she can tell anyone else.
“He misses you, too.” I tell her and I know that to be the truth. My head really begins to throb so I say goodbye to the girls and climb into his truck to head home. I tell him everything when I get there. I feel like I’m back in middle school dating and it feels fucking good. All except the whole brain injury thing.
Chapter 17: The second best day of my life.
Daxton’s POV
Avalynn and I go on many dates after that first one. So many that I’ve lost track. We try and go out together at least three times a week. Faith completely supports us and watches Abby with no questions asked. My feelings for her have quickly gotten strong and I feel like its love, but I don’t want to tell her just yet. I want to make sure that she feels the same way.
I’ve noticed that she still wears the ring on her finger, except she has it on the wrong hand. Sometimes I want to tell her to put it back on the correct finger, but it’s hard to do that when it seems like we’ve only just met. We are re-learning each other in some senses and in others, I already feel completely in tune with her. She told me all about how I proposed to her. I wish that I could remember that day if nothing else because her face completely lights up when she talks about it. She doesn’t talk a whole lot about her past and it’s probably for good reason. According to Gram she didn’t have life all that easy before her and I met. It makes no sense to me because she’s such a beautiful and intelligent woman. It’s hard for me to fathom her being any other way.
Tonight’s the talent show and I’m going to meet Ava up at the school. I’m going to sit a couple rows back when it’s Abby’s turn to go on stage, though, since I don’t want to take the chance of her noticing me. I respect Ava’s decision to keep us apart until things are more definite. I only hope that it is sooner than later. Tripp decides to head up with me so I don’t have to go to it alone and I’m thankful for that. It’ll be hard with Ava being so close and me not being able to go sit with her like a normal couple. When we arrive, we find a seat in the back. We’re way early; I must have been a bit overzealous about coming. When Avalynn walks in, Abby in tow, I duck down in my chair. They both look so adorable. Abby is the spitting image of Avalynn. They both go behind the stage, just Ava coming out after a couple of minutes. She scans the room, I’m assuming in search of me. I stand up and wave her over. She comes over to us with a huge smile on her face.
“So glad you could make it,” she says fluidly. I wouldn’t miss it for the world, but I think the excitement written all over my face mirrors that fact.
“I’m excited to see what she’s going to do,” I respond. Avalynn hugs Tripp and I see some unspoken communication pass between the two of them. He helped out my girl when I wasn’t able to. Avalynn told me all about her break down and I regret not being in the right state of mind to be there for her. She reminded me that I saved Abby’s life and that is more than she could ever ask for, but still.
“She’s going to be playing the guitar and singing. She’ll never play for me, though, so this will be the first time I’ve heard it.” She looks at me sadly and lowers her eyes like she said too much. Tripp speaks up for her.
“She only plays for you, dude.” He says like it’s no big deal when, in fact, it’s a huge fucking deal. It hurts me deep down in my core.
“Well, she’s playing tonight, for all of us. That’s all that matters. She’s been doing a lot better,” Avalynn tries to be reassuring. She knows I feel like shit, even though I have no control over what I can remember and what I can’t. Small things have been popping into my head, but I’m still having a hard time fully remembering Avalynn pre-accident, or Abby. I can remember nearly everything else, though. I have hope it’ll all come back eventually. I’m just being patient. I’m thankful to have Ava by my side through it all. Every time I remember something, the headaches put me down and out for hours.
The lights in the room dim and the curtains open. Everyone in the auditorium gets really quiet.
“I’ve got to get back to my seat. Abby will be looking for me in the front row. I’ll call you later babe.” With that, she kisses me and heads back to the front row. I instantly miss her. I sit down and the show starts with a bang. The talent of some of these kids is just out of this world. There are dancers, comedians, and musicians. Out of about fifteen kids, Abby is last. I’m anxiously shaking my leg - I can’t wait to see what I taught this little girl.
When it’s her turn up, she walks on to the stage confidently. I’m shocked by how well she works the crowd, not appearing to be even a little bit fazed. She sits down on a little chair, set specifically up there for her. She pulls a pink, little acoustic guitar onto her lap and begins to strum quietly. I strain my ears to hear and it doesn’t sound familiar at first. She begins to sing into the microphone effortlessly. Her voice is beyond the level that it should be for a kid of her age; she is too good for words. I sub-consciously begin to sing along. I don’t even realize I’m doing it until Tripp elbows me in the side.
“What the fuck dude?! Do you remember this song?” He questions me excitedly. The grin on his face is undeniable. I stare at him in shock. I don’t respond. I just want to listen.
When her voice hits the chorus, tears spring to my eyes. I remember. I remember teaching her how to play this song, one that we made up together. I remember her little fingers gliding over the acoustic guitar like it was an appendage she never knew she had.
My little girl, way up high
The pedestal will hold you.
Don’t ever be afraid to fly,
Remember what Daddy told you.
Your wings…they’re larger than life.
Your eyes…they’re brighter than all the stars up in the sky.
Your worth…is more than anyone will ever realize.
Nobody will ever be enough…
Remember that when life gets rou
gh
I’ll be at the bottom, in case you fall
I’ll struggle when you don’t at all.
But I’ll still proudly point up in the sky
Watching as you fly so high
I’ll tell the whole world
That’s my…perfect little girl.
I remember my fiancé. I remember proposing. I remember the accident. I remember my babies, my loves. I rush from my chair and make my way to the stage. Abby stops singing and whips her guitar from her back. She lays it ever so gently on the stage. I lift my arms and she comes running. She jumps into me and I catch her easily. I never had a doubt in my mind. I’ll always be here to catch her. Avalynn comes over, tears in her eyes.
“I remember, babe, I remember. My girls.” I can’t get full sentences out, emotion strangling them from my throat. But all they need to know is that I’m here and I’m never going anywhere again. The auditorium erupts in cheer.
“Daddy…our song…” Abby states matter of fatly. Her confidence never leaves her.
“Yes little one. Our song brought me back to you. Thank you for having enough courage to get up on stage and sing it.” I’m not sure how much she can possibly understand, but this means the world to me. I hug my girls to my chest, never wanting to let them go.
“I’d do anything for you and Mommy, just like you would do anything for me. Even when you were away, I knew you would come back. I just knew it.” Her little voice sounds so assured. It makes me smile to know that she never gave up hope on me returning to them, even though it would be easiest for her to do. The beauty of a child is the hope that they encompass. It’s unwavering and unable to be broken by even the grimmest of circumstances. I lift Abby into my arms and it feels like everything is the way it is supposed to be. My life has fallen back into place and I don’t dwell on the fucked up year it’s been and all of the important stuff I’ve missed for even a second longer.