She wanted to walk over to him and kiss him.
She wanted to hold on to the man he’d become, the little boy he once was.
She wanted to kiss him with every ounce of love she felt for him.
She didn’t want him to think she pitied him, but she wanted to walk up to him and wrap him up in her arms. She wanted to reach out and comfort the little boy who must have been so scared, who lost the little girl he cared so much for. She wanted to tell him it would be okay, that he would find someone else to love, and he would live a long, happy life. But she couldn’t do that. How could she tell him that he would find someone else to love? She wanted to be the one he loved. But she wouldn’t say that. Instead, she stood. She walked across the room, and it suddenly felt like he was miles away and each step she took held some significance other than the obvious. Ethan stood still, as though assessing her motive. His brown eyes were steady on hers, the only movement in the rhythmic clenching of his jaw.
She stopped walking when she was in front of him, close enough that if she leaned forward her mouth would reach him. All she knew was that she wanted to be close to him. She tilted her head up to look at him. Then she put her hand on his heart, feeling its strong beat, seeing the vulnerability on his beautiful face as he stood perfectly still and watched her.
“I don’t want your pity.”
She smiled. “You don’t have my pity. You have my admiration, Ethan,” she whispered and then kissed the hollow at his throat.
Ethan looked down at the woman in his arms. She was killing him. He’d just had some sort of cathartic experience in which he actually made himself vulnerable to her. She had somehow managed to shred through all his defenses, all the walls he’d built, and strip him down to the essence of who he was. She knew everything—almost everything. If she knew who was really behind the purchase of her precious shelter, she’d walk right out of here without looking back, probably after a swift kick to his ass.
“Allie…” She touched his face with what felt like compassion. He usually hated compassion because it went hand in hand with pity. But her kind of compassion was different. Her eyes were all soft, shiny. Her hands were on him, and she was looking up at him as though she knew the kind of man he really was and wanted him despite it.
He stopped her, covering her hand with his. That was a mistake because she looked up at him, blue eyes filled with determination. Her skin was soft beneath his, and the feel of her so close to him was making him forget everything. He’d find a way to fix things later.
She stood on her tiptoes, leaned into him, and kissed his neck. “Ethan,” she said against his skin. “I’m sorry for every single time I turned you down. I’m sorry for doubting the kind of man you are. Just don’t say no to me. Your ego is more than capable of handling rejection, but mine wouldn’t be able to take it.”
He was done. He gently fisted his hands in her hair, taking one last look at her. Her lips were parted, lush; her eyes were heated, and he knew there was no going back. “As if I’d ever say no to you,” he whispered roughly before taking her mouth in his. He kissed her long and wet and deep. He moved his hands from her hair to her shoulders, trailing down, tracing her body. He picked her up, and she straddled him as he carried her into his bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him.
“Lock it,” she said between kisses.
“Good idea,” he said and backed up to do so, her legs wrapped tightly around him.
He dropped her onto the bed and followed her down. Her fingers trailed over him and he knew there would be no walking away from Allie.
Allie forgot to breathe as Ethan’s body covered hers. Her head pressed into the pillow, and he proceeded to kiss her as though he were starving. He kissed her with an intensity that hadn’t been there before. Every inch of her body felt as though he lighted it.
“I’ve wanted you for so long,” he whispered against her skin, his stubble grazing her chin. Then his hands were at the hem of her sweater and she lifted her arms up, helping him take it off. “You’re beautiful.” Just the look in his eyes made her ache for more of him.
“Your turn,” she said, and quickly undid the buttons, already knowing what she’d find underneath. She splayed open the shirt, her hands trailing down over his hard chest, her fingertips tracing his abs and stopping at his belt.
“We’re not rushing. We haven’t waited this long to rush,” he said, taking her mouth in a long, wet, deep kiss that left them both breathless. But despite his declaration, his hands were everywhere, then his mouth was everywhere, and then all their clothes were gone.
“You feel so good,” she whispered against his mouth. Her hands glided over his wide shoulders then the sculpted muscles of his body to cup his butt. His chest was warm and hard against hers, but then he was moving again. His mouth began a glorious journey and soon she was clutching his head to her as he licked her nipple, his tongue grazing the tip and then sucking until she cried out. She arched against him, feeling his rock hard erection against her, needing more.
“I need all of you, Ethan,” she whispered as his finger traced her slowly. She whimpered as his finger slipped inside her.
“God, you’re so wet, Allie,” he murmured in her ear.
She whimpered, reacting to the raw sound of desire in his voice, to the slow, skilled, movement of his fingers. “It’s your fault. This is what happens when we wait so long.”
“I would have done this the first night we met.”
“And you’re always parading around here half-dressed—”
“No, that’s when you were spying on me.” She stopped speaking because it was too difficult to keep up with the banter when his mouth and fingers were ready to send her over the edge. “Good, we should stop talking now, anyway,” he said, because apparently she’d just aired her thoughts aloud. She arched her hips against him and whimpered, before lightly biting his shoulder.
“I’m not doing this alone, Ethan.”
“What?” he said against her breast.
“It’s not enough. I want you inside me,” she whispered against his lips. He let go only long enough to reach for a condom in his nightstand, and then he was back, his mouth on hers, devouring hers, promising exactly what he’d do when he was inside her. She felt as though she’d snap with the tightness she felt, the need that consumed her.
“God, I want you, Allie.” She looked up at him, the light from the cityscape falling over him, highlighting just how beautiful he was, how powerful, how perfectly sculpted he was. He slid between her thighs and waited, surely trying to drive her even more insane.
He kissed her long, slow, and deep as he entered her. She gasped and gripped his shoulders at the sensation. He groaned her name as she arched against him, and he angled her hips to his. She met his thrusts, knowing she was on the verge of losing control completely. She wanted more, and he gave it to her. His voice was low, guttural, as he said her name; it was the last sound she remembered as he took her where she needed to be. And then he followed her.
They stayed there, tangled in each other’s bodies. After a few seconds, minutes, she didn’t really know, Ethan rolled off her, taking her with him.
“Are you sleeping?” she whispered after watching his deep, even breathing for a few minutes. She let her gaze wander over him, again admiring everything about him.
He smiled, his eyes still closed. “I have waited for you, Allie, so long.”
She kissed his shoulder and rested her head on his chest. This. Ethan. Everything about him…she loved.
Chapter Eleven
Allie was finishing up some paperwork, excited about leaving. It was almost the end of the day, and this was the weekend they were going up to Jackson and Hannah’s cabin. She’d missed her best friend so much and was dying to see the kids, too.
She jumped at the loud knock on her door. Seconds later, Ethan was already inside and shutting the door behind him. He proudly held up a small, live Christmas tree in a black pot.
“What’s this?” A
llie asked, getting up from her chair, smiling.
“This is me adding Christmas spirit to your office,” he said, placing the potted tree in the corner of her small office. A paper bag fell out of his coat pocket and he grabbed it, looking slightly mischievous as he straightened up.
“What’s that?”
He grinned. “Cookies from Hannah. But none of this is really why I came here,” he said, crossing the room and pulling her into him. This whole being in a relationship thing with Ethan was all-consuming. “I missed you,” he said against her lips. “And I know this weekend at Hannah and Jackson’s cabin we’re hardly going to get a chance to be alone.”
“I have an open-door policy,” she said against his lips.
He walked around her, jotted something on a Post-It note, and then whipped open the door. He slapped it on the front and then shut and locked it. Then resumed kissing her.
“What did you write on there?”
He leaned down to kiss her. “‘My open-door policy is still in effect. Just knock first and I’ll open the door.’”
She laughed until she forgot why she was laughing. Ethan had her pressed up against the door, one hand cupping the side of her face, the other under her sweater and cupping her breast. Her phone buzzed.
“Ignore it,” he said, kissing her earlobe. “It’s Jackson and Hannah asking what time we’re going up.”
“What time are we going?”
“I don’t know why we get roped into going there every year,” he said, helping her as she tried to slide his coat off his shoulders. It landed on the ground with a thud.
“I think it’s because we’re Em’s godparents,” she said, fiddling with his tie.
He yanked it off in a second. “Talk about taking advantage of our generosity.”
She laughed. “You love being her godfather. You spoil her.”
“Yeah, well, she’s cute. Too bad her parents are so anal about arranging meals around naptimes.” He pulled off her sweater, the blast of cold air quickly replaced by Ethan.
“I really don’t think we should be doing this here,” she whispered.
“The door’s locked. Besides, do you have any appointments?”
“No,” she said, her knees wobbling as he started a trail of kisses from her ear down her neck. The hard knock on the door reverberated on her bare back and she jumped. Ethan swore.
“What are the freaking odds of this?”
“I knew I shouldn’t have listened to you!” she said as he tossed her the sweater.
He stuffed his tie in his pocket and put his coat back on, grumbling.
“Okay, do I look normal?” she asked, standing in front of him. The knocking continued.
Ethan nodded, sitting on the edge of her desk.
She swung open the door to find Max standing there. “Hi Max!” She cringed at the sound of her voice, slightly shrill, way too chipper.
Max’s gaze darted from her to over her shoulder. She opened the door wider. “Uh, sorry to bug you guys…”
“Nah, come on in. I’m not supposed to be here anyway,” Ethan called out before she could answer. Max looked relieved and walked into the room. He looked comfortable with Ethan, and Allie had a vague recollection of the two of them talking during the Christmas tree lighting. “I’m going to head out. Here, want a cookie?”
Allie thought for sure Max would say no, but he looked up at Ethan and accepted one of the cookies he was holding out. “Thanks. Actually, I kinda wanted to talk to you, too. Well, I wasn’t going to ask to talk to you…but was going to ask through Allie.”
Ethan sat back down on the edge of the desk, snapping the head off the snowman cookie. He held the bag of cookies toward her. She shook her head. She wasn’t taking any of his December cookies. “Go ahead, Max,” he said, after Max didn’t elaborate.
Max looked nervously from her to Ethan. “I, uh, was wondering if you maybe had something I could do at the office. I know it’d be after Christmas and stuff, and I know it’d only be part-time until summer. But I totally get it if you can’t.”
“Done. Come in on Monday after school, and I’ll hook you up with something. Okay?”
Max didn’t say anything for a minute then stood up abruptly. “Really?”
Ethan nodded and procured a business card from one of his pockets. “Just go to that address and ask for me.” He extended his hand, and Max shook it with obvious gusto.
“Thanks, man…Ethan, I mean. Or Mr…”
“Ethan’s good.”
Max nodded again and walked toward the door. He shot Allie a smile that made her heart squeeze. “Thanks, Allie.” She smiled at him.
“I’ll, uh, close the door and go,” he said, giving Ethan a pointed look.
Ethan laughed softly as Max stepped out, shutting the door behind him.
Allie turned to Ethan. “You are so sweet. The best, Ethan,” she said, walking up to him. She expected him to gloat playfully, or accept the praise with mischievous arrogance. But instead something flashed through his eyes, and his smile dipped slightly.
He pulled her into his arms and hugged her.
“Wait a second,” Ethan whispered in her ear. Instead of walking through the open door, he shut it after Dani walked through. He pulled Allie into his arms even though it was freezing. They had arrived at Jackson and Hannah’s cottage. He pinned her against the wall and kissed her thoroughly, as though it had killed him to not have privacy in the car ride up here. She held on to him and kissed him back until the door swung open.
Ethan’s muffled curse against her mouth made her laugh. “All I wanted was a few minutes to ourselves before the next twenty-four hour ambush.”
“Well, you’re too late. Haul your ass inside. Hannah made appetizers and there are only two hours until Christopher’s bedtime. Hi, Allie.”
Allison’s gaze went from Ethan’s handsome face to Jackson’s. “Hi, Jackson,” she said, pulling out of Ethan’s embrace. She was laughing as she went inside and Emily and Christopher ran up to her. Visiting her best friend and family during the holidays had quickly become her favorite holiday tradition. Even Dani didn’t complain about it.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Hannah squealed, throwing her arms around her. Allison hugged her back. How far they had come. Working together at the miserable social services office years ago seemed like a distant dream. Allison did miss her friend, but she wouldn’t begrudge her an ounce of happiness. Jackson had turned out to be the best thing that could have ever happened. Once nicknamed Scrooge, he turned out to be a guy with a huge heart, and she knew they were blissfully happy.
“Come inside, you need to catch me up on your gossip,” her friend said after Jackson had taken her coat. Once the kids were busy attacking “Uncle Ethan,” she followed Hannah into the kitchen. The delicious smell of turkey hit her as she entered the small space.
“Oh my God, this smells so good.”
“Thanks, but you need to tell me all about living with Ethan.”
Allison eyed the containers of berries and marched over to them. “Can I wash and help?”
“Only if you can talk at the same time,” Hannah said as she proceeded to slice some bread.
Allison began dumping the berries into a large colander in the sink. How was she going to explain something she didn’t even get? She couldn’t mention the cancer because she knew Ethan had never told anyone. She sprayed the berries with water and struggled for words. After a few minutes, Hannah appeared at her side and shut off the water.
She glanced over at her friend, who was staring at her. “I think the berries are clean. Ethan?”
Not so clean, she thought, immediately thinking of the things he’d whispered to her last night. She cleared her throat and tried to get her mind back into neutral territory. “Ethan and I are kind of together in a—”
Hannah mouthed a scream. “I’ve been hoping for this since the beginning! What changed your mind about him?”
Images of Ethan in the condo, the wrapped gif
ts, the look on his face when he found out about the fire, the way he was with Dani…the way he was with her. “He’s not who I thought he was. He’s sweet. And hot. Soooo hot,” she said before putting her face in her hands. “I’m so screwed, Hannah, we will never work.”
Her friend’s laughter died quickly. “Of course you will. I don’t think he’s the kind of guy to just give up. He’s had his eye on you since the wedding, according to Jackson.”
She glanced over at her. “We come from really different places. And yeah, I may have underestimated the kind of person he is, but that doesn’t mean this will ever go anywhere…close to what you and Jackson are.”
Hannah didn’t say anything for a moment and Allie knew her friend was trying to come up with a convincing argument, except Jackson walked in at that moment.
“I’m told it’s time for me to get the turkey on the table. Mr. Sampson said he’ll die if he has to keep smelling the food and not eating.”
They both smiled. The elderly couple had become very close to Jackson, Hannah, and the kids and were like surrogate grandparents. Which was sweet, especially since Hannah and Jackson had no biological family. “Okay, point me here and there and I’ll help put things on the table,” Allie said.
Ten minutes later they were seated around the enormous table. It was a setting straight out of a home and garden magazine. Gold-rimmed china dishes with tiny reindeer prancing around the edges graced each place setting. Sparkling crystal and silverware and an abundance of homemade food filled the rest of the table. The conversation was loud and boisterous—extra loud because for some reason the Sampsons thought Jackson had a hearing problem. Ethan’s hand on her knee was the most surprising, and delicious, part of the meal.
This whole Christmas gig at Jackson and Hannah’s was always something he looked forward to, but this year with Allie it was the best. Everything about her was the best. The only thing he hadn’t figured out was the shelter. Each day that went by he felt himself grow more and more tense.
The Billionaire's Christmas Proposal (Billionaire For Christmas #2) Page 14