For the second time that night, I had a door slammed on me.
“He’s right you know,” Boris said lightly. “She should know.”
“I think you should get some sleep, too,” I snapped. “We’ve all had a long day.”
It was a command from his king, his alpha, and he knew it. “Very well, sire. If there is anything else you’ll be needing—”
“That will be all, thank you.”
He nodded, and carrying his mug of ale, left me to brood alone. After stoking a fire in the hearth, I dragged over the furs and collapsed to the floor, staring into the flames as they crackled and popped.
I waited for an answer to all my problems to present itself, but my headache only grew worse, and my fear of losing Sabella made me sick to my stomach.
The hours ticked by into the night and sheer exhaustion had my eyes closing. I breathed in deep and caught a whiff of lilac a second before the door to the short corridor opened slowly.
I remained where I was, propped up by the pillows I’d dragged off my bed. A shadow fell over me, and all I did was lift the furs for Sabella to sink down beside me and curl against my side. I kissed the top of her head and pulled her in close.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, but I was already shaking my head.
“This life is new to you,” I said gently. “I get that it’s not going to be so easy for you most days.”
“Any day,” she corrected grumpily.
I chuckled. “I know you’re not a shifter, but you are the most important person in this world to me, and I do what I do to keep you safe.”
“Just as I do what I do to keep you alive,” she insisted. “Tristan?”
“Red?” I glanced over to see her staring up at me, those eyes filled with worry and doubts. “What’s wrong?”
But then she smiled and leaned up enough to kiss me sweetly. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”
A few moments later, she was sound asleep, and I settled in deeper among the furs, holding her close. If only this was how our lives would be every night, then I could guarantee her safety and our happiness. But the darkness crept in closer every day and sooner or later, it would snuff out the light within her.
3
Tristan
I jerked awake, staring at the dying embers of the fire in the hearth. Sabella’s body was still curled up against my side beneath the furs, and I lay my head back, wrapping my arm more securely around her as I tried to shake the last remnants of a nightmare. She’d been on that cliff, and those spiders were eating her alive. I shuddered, knowing how close it had been to coming true.
I glanced toward the window, but darkness reigned. There was no real way to tell when it was night or day, except to trust my body when it said it was time to get up.
I sensed it was early morning, too early to function, so I closed my eyes and attempted to get a few hours more sleep. The furs were tucked in around us, and I sank into their warmth.
“Bad dream?” Sabella whispered.
“Didn’t mean to wake you,” I said as she shifted in my arms to see my face. “Go back to sleep.”
“What did you see?” she asked.
“Nothing that needs to be shared, trust me,” I grumbled. “Sleep.”
“There you go, giving me orders again,” she mumbled, even as she yawned and settled her head against my shoulder and her arm snaked around my waist. “Stubborn furball.”
I smoothed my fingers through her hair, nodding in agreement. “You’ll have to get used to it.”
“And if I don’t?”
My fingers stilled for a second before I forced them to keep moving. “There’s no reason to question this, Sabella, I promise. Relationships are hard, and ours started in the midst of a war. I think we’re allowed to have some issues.”
I sensed her agitation, but then she settled back down and said nothing more. When I checked, her eyes were closed, and I felt her steady breathing. She’d fallen back asleep. Good. I was terrible at lying to her, and both of us didn’t need to be worried about our future together. I stared at the dark red embers for a long while before I finally drifted back to sleep. It might’ve only been an hour or so before there was a loud knock at my door, startling us both awake.
“Sire? Breakfast is being served in the hall,” Hank called out.
“Thank you, Hank.” I yawned and stretched, shaking out my hair as Sabella laughed.
“Some days you’re more wolf than man,” she informed me as she got to her feet and reached her hands up to the ceiling, standing on her toes like she always did first thing in the morning. I admired the view as she sauntered toward the adjoining hall.
“Where are you going?”
“Freshening up, don’t worry, I’ll see you down there.”
I caught her hand right before she disappeared through the door and kissed her softly. She leaned into my embrace, and I wove my fingers up through her long locks before we reluctantly parted, and I let her go to her rooms to get ready for another day. How could she make me so mad one day and then make me want nothing more than to hold her the next? I’d have to ask Craig how he managed it when we were all together again.
I dressed in fresh clothes, tugged on my boots, and found my way downstairs. The hall was filled with my guests as well as the other occupants of the castle. They started to get up to bow when they saw me, but I waved them all back down.
“Too early for formalities. Who’s got the coffee? And steak, steak would be fantastic this morning.”
Boris shoved a plate toward me as I sat down, and I thanked the servant that poured me a large mug of steaming coffee. “Sire,” he muttered.
I shot him a look before I dug into my food, eating half the steak in a few large bites.
“Should I ask why you’re so ravenous this morning?” Kate asked across the table with a mischievous smile on her face. Craig grunted and held his head in his hand. “What? I’m just curious.”
“Curious about what?” I asked.
“Nothing, it’s nothing,” Craig insisted loudly and nudged Kate. “That is not breakfast conversation.”
“I’m just curious. Can’t a girl be curious? Just thinking of Sabella, after all.”
I stared from one to the other as they continued to banter before it hit me, and I dropped my fork, feeling my body grow hot. I choked down my mouthful of food and chugged my coffee, making it worse when the scalding liquid burned my throat all the way down. Kate and Craig watched, the first grinning widely, but I shook my head, and her smile fell.
“Can we not talk about this right now?” I growled in warning.
She sighed heavily but held up her hands. “Fine, be a party pooper.”
Craig mouthed an apology, but Kate punched him in the shoulder. “What?”
“There’s nothing wrong with me asking.”
“Yes, there is,” we snapped at the same time, and she burst out laughing.
“Wow, boys.”
“What about boys?” Sabella asked from behind me, and I stilled. “Did I miss something?”
Kate was nodding as Craig and I shook our heads. Sabella sat beside me and reached for a mug and poured her own coffee. She had not gotten used to having people do anything for her, and she told me she doubted she ever would. She spooned sugar into the dark liquid, she and Kate having a wordless conversation that I did not like with their eyes and smiles.
Kate finally shrugged, rolling her eyes in disappointment and Sabella bobbed her head, sipping her coffee.
“What are you two talking about?” I demanded.
“Huh? Who said we were talking about anything?” I heard the annoyance in her words though and pushed my plate away, not hungry anymore.
Since the darkness fell, there’d been little time, admittedly, for Sabella and I to talk much about our relationship and where it was headed. Or how we wanted to proceed with it. This was new territory for both of us, and I assumed she wanted to take things slow. She was the one constantly reminding me that there was a cha
nce she could still go back to being the crazy girl from Maine if she wasn’t careful. How was I supposed to take that, except as a ‘proceed with extreme caution’ in anything we did?
But now, watching her and Kate continue their silent conversation, I started to wonder if we weren’t going so slow because I was more hesitant than she was. Sabella was all fire and determination on the inside, but she was fragile in my mind. How many times had I picked her up off the ground after a vision? Or had to rush in to save her life? Watched her bleeding and screaming in pain?
I stabbed my fork into my steak, and everyone at the table turned to stare at me. “Sorry.”
“You sure you’re alright?” Sabella asked quietly.
“Yes, I’m fine. We should finish eating so we can discuss our next move,” I instructed. Picking up my coffee, I excused myself from the table and went to wait for the others in the council chamber.
“Think I’ll join you,” Craig announced and together, we left the hall.
Once we were out of earshot of everyone else, he leaned in. “Sorry for Kate.”
“No, it’s fine. I guess at some point it’s going to happen.”
“She said she’s worried about you two. Thinks… moving forward,” he was clearly struggling to get the words out, “would go a long way to getting you both past this wall going up between you two.”
“There’s no wall,” I muttered.
Craig cringed.
“Is that what everyone thinks?”
“You two have been arguing nearly every day.”
I growled the rest of the way to the council chamber. Unable to sit and relax, I walked slowly around the room, shaking my head. “I just want her to listen to me, just once.”
“She’s not a shifter, remember?”
“Oh, I remember. She makes it clear to me every damned day.”
“Then perhaps it’s you who needs to change,” he suggested.
I glowered at him, not about to admit the thought had crossed my mind. But what was I supposed to do? She was my beta, part of the pack now, and the pack was stronger together. One weak link, one person, acting recklessly, put all the others at risk. Somehow, I had to make Sabella see that.
“You going to tell her today?” Craig asked. “About the voice?”
“I am, and she’s not going to be happy.”
“You thought she would be? You should’ve told her last night,” he said quickly.
I bared my teeth.
He added, “I understand why you waited.”
“She won’t.”
As soon as I told Sabella what really happened last night, she was going to be pissed. If I’d told her last night, it would’ve led to an argument, too. So, either way, I was screwed. I fell deeper into my thoughts, and eventually found myself musing over what Kate and Sabella had been silently discussing. Did I want to know? That wasn’t even a question, but I was stopped by my worry for what could go wrong. What if she had a vision and woke up like that next to me, in bed with a man she didn’t recognize? What if didn’t come back to herself?
What if this wasn’t going to work out the way I hoped?
I hated the uncertainty of my day to day life now, but then the doors opened, and Kate and Sabella walked in, followed by Boris, Hank, Greyson, Lucy, and a few other shifter commanders. The other pack leaders were busy protecting their lands, and instead of constantly calling them to me, I sent out messengers whenever there was an event that occurred or a new addition to our plan that was yet to be an actually formulated strategy. Those here found their seats at the table and waited for me to join them before everyone sat down.
“Before we decide where our next move is going to take place,” I said slowly, avoiding Sabella’s gaze, “there’s another matter we need to talk about.”
“And that is?” Kate asked.
I finally lifted my gaze to Sabella’s, trying to tell her I was sorry with my eyes as the words came out of my mouth. “Last night when you thought you had a vision, it was something worse. Baladon, he spoke to me through you.”
A hush fell over the room, but it was the way Sabella’s eyes widened in panic then narrowed in anger that had my chest squeezing like it was trapped in a vise. Each breath I took was more painful than the last as her jaw clenched and her hands gripped the edge of the table until her knuckles turned white.
“You—you lied to me,” she whispered harshly.
“I was protecting you.”
She pushed back from the table heatedly, and I rose to follow and stop her in case she tried to leave.
“You… you had… you had no right.”
“Sabella, please.”
“No. Damn it, Tristan. You can’t do this, you can’t keep things from me. Especially when they happen to me.”
I reached for her hand, but she yanked it away, storming toward the door.
I was faster and blocked her from leaving.
“We need to talk about this.”
“Move.”
“Not happening. Red, sit down.”
Her eyes narrowed at my order and she crossed her arms, that glare promising this fight was far from over. She stalked back to her seat and sat down hard, not uncrossing her arms, and glaring at the table so intensely, I expected it to burst into flames. At least fire was not in her control otherwise I was sure she would’ve had me up in flames by now.
When I made it back to my place, Kate scowled at me like she wanted to smack me upside the head. I couldn’t blame her, but I met her eyes, glare for glare, and growled for her to back off. She had her own issues with Craig. She needed to keep her nose out of mine and Sabella’s.
“What did he say?” Lucy asked. “Baladon.”
“Not much except there was a test coming for me, to see if I was a true king or not,” I relayed. “And he was upset we were killing so many of his pets.”
“Good,” Craig snapped. “Means we’re getting to him.”
“Or he’s planning something worse,” Boris suggested. “We need to find him.”
“That leads me to my other idea,” I said, wishing Sabella would look at me, but she refused. “I would like to return to the stone maze and see if Baladon is still there. If he is, I say we aim to wound or capture him. Kill him if we can.”
“Are you insane?” Sabella yelled. “Really? You want to go back there. Just like that?”
“We have no other leads. Going there will give us information if nothing else.”
“Or it’s a trap, and you’ll get yourself killed,” she snarled, “but what do I know? I’m just a seer, right?” This time when she stormed for the door, I didn’t try to stop her.
I just let her leave. Kate excused herself and followed her out, hopefully, to calm her down.
I rubbed my forehead. “Why is this so hard?” I muttered to myself.
“She’s frustrated, we all are,” Lucy said simply. “Our hands are tied with no leads to go on, no way to know where Baladon is. But this plan of yours, are you sure it’s what you want to do?”
“What choice do we have? It’s not as if Baladon is dropping us any hints here.”
“Shall I prepare our warriors then?” Boris asked.
I looked around the table at Craig and Hank, as well as my other commanders. Al were nodding in agreement.
“Yes, we’ll head out tomorrow,” I ordered. “Lucy, I would ask you accompany us if you are able. We may find ourselves in need of some extra firepower.”
“Of course,” she said, bowing her head.
They all rose to go. I felt Sabella’s rage from this far away, and it set my teeth on edge. I had to face her eventually and started to track her down. I scented the air and followed the light trail of lilac through the castle and out toward the courtyard. When it passed through the main gate, my heart hammered with worry, and I picked up the pace, shifting so I could sniff her out better.
I feared she had taken off, and no one noticed, but I followed her trail around the outer wall and back toward a grove of trees
surrounding a small pond. When I neared the tree line, I spied her; her pants rolled up to her knees as she moved delicately through the water.
I stayed where I was, watching as she bent down and scooped up a lily in her hands. I had no idea what she was trying to do but I couldn’t turn away.
“What am I supposed to do with him?” she asked loudly, and my ears flattened, fearing she was hearing voices again, until I saw Kate move into view, her pants also rolled up as she sat down and dunked her feet in the water.
“Craig is exactly the same way.”
“Even after all you’ve done?” Sabella asked, dropping the lily back to the water.
“Yeah. You and I aren’t from this world, you know. We grew up without the fear of danger lurking around every corner. Think it freaks them out more on some level. They don’t think we have the right instincts for survival, you know?”
I sat down with a huff. Kate was onto something there. Sabella grew up isolated in the same building all her life. She knew nothing of how perilous this world could be.
“That’s not an excuse to treat us like we’re made of glass,” Sabella muttered, swishing her foot through the water. “I just want him to trust me.”
Was that really what she thought? I didn’t trust her?
“He does,” Kate assured her.
I mentally told myself to thank her later.
“He’s just worried. These visions of yours and the whole part-god thing throw him off. You and I, we’re not exactly normal,” Kate added with a laugh.
“We’re complicated,” Sabella agreed. “Maybe too complicated.”
Why did she sound so saddened by the thought? I almost went to her, but then their conversation shifted to a different topic, and I paused.
“I wonder sometimes though, if he has the same doubts I do,” Sabella said.
“Doubts about what?”
“About whether I’m meant to be part of his pack or not. We haven’t talked about anything except this war. Nothing.”
“You both have been a bit preoccupied,” Kate tried to say, but she even sounded a bit doubtful.
“But if we’re meant to be together, if that’s what this is, then why haven’t we made time to figure it out? Make it official and what not? I just… never mind.”
Visions (Dragon Reign Book 7) Page 3