Big Bad Sinner: A Forbidden Romance

by Annette Fields

  “First of all.” Angie tossed her hair over her shoulder. “That card could be fake. Second of all, have you never heard anything shady about Catholic priests in your life?”

  “That’s different,” I protested. “Pastors aren’t all celibate and repressed. Some of them even do gay weddings depending on the denomination.”

  Still, I couldn’t help but feel surprised when Kain told us he was a clergyman. He didn’t seem like the pious type at all. My parents tried tirelessly to set me up with deeply religious guys from their church and I could never stomach through a single lunch with them. At least the frat boys at school were upfront about what they wanted. They didn’t hide behind an ancient book and say God gave men superiority over their women.

  If I had to deal with douchebags, at least take responsibility for your douchebaggery.

  But Kaine didn’t appear to fit that at all. He reminded me of a lone wolf searching for a pack. But the pack had to be worthy of him. He was mysterious, protective and calculating. He had a lot at stake. I just wish I knew what.

  “Why are you suddenly so into this guy?” Angie demanded. “I’ve never seen you act like this. You’re always shoving guys away.”

  I couldn’t even begin to find the words to explain myself. Something just pulled me to him, and doubly so since finding out he was a religious leader. I recoiled from most things to do with religion as a natural reaction but his darkness and demeanor made it interesting. He was easily the most irreverent pastor I’d ever met and not just because he smoked and drank.

  So I covered up my fascination of Kaine Cross with my signature Resting Bitch Face and a shrug.

  “I’d just like to have an adventure with a much lower risk of getting raped and murdered, that’s all.”

  Angie scowled and crossed her arms across her chest.

  “Alright fine. If you insist on hanging out with him, I’m not leaving you by yourself.”

  My fingers twitched. I knew she meant well but I wanted to be alone with him. How else would I unwrap the armor surrounding him and uncover the reasons why he made my body feel like this? Why I felt pulled to him like a magnet when I should have wanted nothing to do with him.

  Perhaps it was naive to be so trusting. Curiosity and the cat and all that. But I was a born risk taker and that was why I struggled so much living with my parents. Going into the unknown, asking questions, and taking risks made me feel alive. I often wondered if I was adopted because it was never in my nature to sit quietly and do as the Bible commanded like my parents wanted me to.

  Angie and I both turned at the sound of approaching footsteps to see Kaine returning from the store. He carried a plastic bag in one hand and shoved the other in the pocket of his jeans, which slung low on his hips but still seemed to fit him perfectly. His blonde hair looked almost ghostly in the streetlights.

  He radiated leadership and authority in the way he walked. I wondered what his sermons sounded like. Did he yell at the top of his lungs about hellfire, brimstone and eternal damnation? Or did he calmly, yet passionately tell stories about God's love and forgiveness?

  Forgiveness was a funny thing. Could God forgive me if I had not a damn thing to be sorry for?

  "You're encouraging boys to think lustful thoughts by dressing like that," Mom would sneer at me. "But if you turn to modesty they'll want to know the real you, not just your body. Be repentant for invoking sin and God will forgive you."

  Nah. Tell me more about fire and brimstone. That shit sounds hot.

  "So what's the verdict, ladies?"

  Kaine stopped a respectful distance away. Too far away.

  "We'll hang out," I said, flashing a smile that I hoped was sweet.

  His lips twitched as if he were about to smile back but thought better of it. Rather, he gave a curt nod and pulled a set of keys from his pocket.

  "My car's this way. I can wait for you to follow."

  Once Angie and I got into her car, she wasted no time laying down the rules.

  "If he touches you, I'm slapping the shit out of him. The second I get a weird vibe, we're leaving. In a strange man's house, I have vetoing rights, okay?"

  "Fine, Mom," I grumbled. For her constant teasing about me remaining a virgin, she definitely knew how to be a helicopter parent.

  Kaine's apartment was a short drive, only a few blocks away. He parked in a covered space in front of a small 4-plex and we parked on the street.

  My brain and body buzzed with curious anticipation again as he led us inside. What would this man's living space tell me about him?

  The apartment was a small one-bedroom and sparsely furnished. He had a large couch but no TV. A small table with only two dining chairs. Some weights and an exercise mat took up one corner. Books were crammed into a small bookcase that looked older than me. The walls were bare except for a simple wooden cross and a portrait of Jesus Christ.

  "Let me guess," I said, turning around in a circle to look at the entire place. "You live like this because it's like how Jesus would have lived. Simple and with few material things."

  Angie rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath something about weirdos who don't own TVs. Kain just chuckled as he removed a large bottle, ice, and lemon juice from the bag.

  "That's a good one. I should tell people that." He pulled shot glasses from a cardboard box and quickly rinsed them under the kitchen faucet. "The truth is I moved here pretty recently and I'm always at work. I'm rarely home."

  “What brought you here?” I asked as I moved closer, eager to close the distance between us and feel the effect he had on me once again.

  He glanced over at Angie who was parked on the couch and scrolling through her phone, off in her own little world already.

  “My divorce,” he answered with sarcastic cheer. I looked down at his hands and noticed the tan line on his left ring finger as he dried the glasses.

  “Sorry,” I offered.

  “Don’t be.” He glanced up at me with dark storm clouds in his eyes. “It had to happen.”

  “Isn’t it odd for you to say something like that, especially as a pastor?” I asked. “I mean, I wish my parents would just get divorced but they never will for religious reasons.”

  He smiled another genuine one as he opens the vodka bottle.

  “Life is full of tests and trials, Magdalene. God throws challenges at us but so does the devil. It can be hard or even impossible to tell which one is testing us. Even those who are not religious recognize it as the constant battle between good and evil. Right and wrong. Do I look out for myself first or someone else? The answer isn’t always easy.”

  I picked up one of the shots that Kain poured and held it up until he followed suit and clinked his glass against mine.

  “Cheers to that,” I said.

  SIX

  KAIN

  "Alright, I think you've had enough."

  "What? Nooo..."

  Maggie giggled, her eyes mischievous and her cheeks flushed with pink. She threw back four shots in the last hour and I almost regretted getting a vodka that went down so easily. She was definitely feeling it and at the tipping point between just the right amount and too much.

  We chit-chatted for the past hour, slowly unwinding and loosening up. Seriousness turned to jokes and awkward questions turned to flirty banter. Still, I made no move to touch her and she kept a safe distance as well.

  In the time that Maggie had four shots, Angie only had two at Maggie's insistence. While Maggie and I talked, she remained silent and glued to her phone until she finally let her guard down and began snoozing on my couch.

  "How rude," Maggie slurred, swaying slightly on her feet. "She's a guest here."

  "It's alright," I assured her. "She's welcome to crash on the couch. I have blankets. You're welcome to stay too."

  She gazed up at me, moving in closer with a slight stumble and I reached out to catch her.

  "You really are a lightweight," I chuckled, feeling her heat radiating through my fingers on her waist.<
br />
  "You're really handsome," she murmured, running her fingertips along my arms.

  My cock stiffened and throbbed with a pulsing ache. Our watchdog had just fallen asleep and we were already skirting along the boundaries of where we shouldn't go.

  "And you're beautiful," I heard my mouth say.

  Her pink blush grew redder and she made no move to leave my embrace. Instead, she smoothed a hand along the side of my ribs, reaching for the vodka bottle behind me on the kitchen counter.

  "I said no more." I smacked her hand playfully and her bratty little pout made my cock twitch even more desperately.

  "But I'm feeling gooooood," she whined.

  "And that's where you know you should stop."

  "You're not my dad," she shot back with a naughty bite of her plump lower lip.

  "No, just your personal bartender that's cutting you off," I grinned.

  "Ugh, so mean. No tip for you."

  Good lord almighty.

  Girls like this were the reason for sin. Pleasure and torture wrapped up in such a pretty package and being offered for free. How could any man refuse?

  "Tell you what," I said, taking her hand and moving it away from the bottle. "Drink some water for me. I'll let you have a glass of vodka with ice and lemon juice."

  Maggie intertwined her fingers with mine but wrinkled her nose at my suggestion.

  "Just vodka on ice? Like for sipping?"

  "Yes, Tito's is smooth enough to drink straight. The ice will rehydrate you as you drink and the lemon juice will give you nutrients so your hangover isn't so nasty."

  "Whatever you say, Kaine."

  In a matter of seconds, she stood on tiptoe to kiss my cheek and released my hand. Without a second glance, she poured herself a glass of water from my tap and skipped off to the couch to check on Angie.

  A new feeling filled me up from my groin to my stomach as I prepared our drinks. While intelligent and mature for her age, she was still wholly unprepared for adulthood. Her parents seemed essentially worthless and it sounded like she raised herself for the most part. But the world out there would swallow that sweet, curious girl whole and spit her back out in pieces if she didn't have someone looking out for her.

  And are you looking to be that someone, Pastor Cross?

  I shook my head in an attempt to clear those thoughts out as I brought our drinks out to her. It had to be the alcohol leading me down that trail of thinking. I barely knew this girl. And with the thoughts I'd been having about her all night, she'd be better off staying far away from me after this little adventure.

  "Thank you, Kaine."

  Her fingers brushed mine as I handed her the drink.

  "You're welcome, Magdalene."

  Angie was still passed out cold on the loveseat across from us. Maggie sat on the long sectional with her back against the armrest and her legs stretched out on the couch. She'd kicked off her shoes and her slender, bare feet crossed at the ankles.

  I took my seat at the opposite end, struggling to maintain the distance between us. But I sat just inches away from her pretty toes that were painted a dark, midnight blue.

  I ached to press my thumb into the arch of her foot and see how she responded. What if I ran my fingers along those shapely ankles and calves? Would she like it if I kissed her feet and worshiped her like a goddess, denouncing my own God for her?

  I’d never even been a guy with a foot fetish but I adored hers right then and there because they were part of her. And they were the part closest to me. But I willed my hands to remain wrapped around my drink.

  Across the couch, Maggie sipped her drink tentatively.

  “Mmm, this actually is really good!” She took a second, longer drink and smacked her lips. “Refreshing.”

  “Take it easy, now.”

  Before I could stop myself, I dragged one finger along the bottom of her foot. Even her sole was soft and flawless. The world hadn’t given her callouses and scars yet like it did to me.

  She giggled and kicked her foot playfully. The movement scooted her close enough that her toes brushed against my thigh.

  Again, I occupied my hands with my drink.

  “Why did you get divorced, Kaine?”

  She propped her elbow on the armrest and rested her chin in her hand, looking absolutely relaxed and melting into the soft cushions.

  I smirked as my hand inched toward her foot again. Her skin was positively intoxicating to touch.

  “Drunk or not, you really have no filter on that mouth, do you?”

  “Nope.” She wiggled her toes against my knee before pulling back slightly. “If it’s an inappropriate question, I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer everything that I word-vomit.”

  My hand returned to her foot, just gently grazing over the top.

  “She cheated on me. Multiple times.”

  For once, Maggie’s mouth was silent but her body spoke volumes. She scooted closer to me until her foot draped over the inside of my knee. If she wanted, she could have pressed that beautiful foot against the concrete bulge in my pants.

  “I’m sorry that happened,” she said quietly. “I don’t understand how people who are supposed to be in love can do that to each other.”

  There’s a lot you don’t understand, young one.

  “Like I said, it needed to happen,” I answered tersely. “For once I needed to put my own happiness first.”

  “That explains a lot about you,” she said, scooting closer still until her knee overlapped mine and her foot dangled between my shins. My whole body itched with the need to touch her thigh. Just to rest my hand on her knee. Nothing sexual. Just simple and affectionate.

  “How do you mean?”

  I kept my eyes trained on her face, not allowing them to drop down and see how much of each other we were touching.

  “Your face is young but your soul is old and bitter,” she told me very matter-of-factly. “You’re jaded and closed-off, although you’ve loosened up tonight. It’s like you’ve forgotten how to enjoy life.”

  I laughed a barking, bitter laugh and allowed my hand to drop to her knee. Her flesh was warm and perfectly smooth. That warmth traveled up my fingertips in a direct line to my cock. If I had one more sip of alcohol, there would be no stopping the moment I buried myself between those beautiful thighs.

  “Oh Magdalene,” I breathed as I set my glass down on the end table. “You’re so young, you really have no idea what adult life has in store for you. I always thought if I lost everything that mattered, I’d at least still have my faith. And now that’s been shaken.”

  My fingers tightened ever so slightly around her knee as I swallowed the dry lump in my throat. She was the only person I told so far about feeling lost within my faith. I had planned to speak with the Deacon about it this week and no one else. Already I was on thin ice with my congregation since becoming officially divorced. They didn’t need any more ammo against me.

  Slender fingers wrapped around my shoulders and stroked the back of my neck as Maggie climbed even more fully into my lap.

  “I think you underestimate me, Pastor Kaine,” she whispered mere inches away from my lips. “I know more about the world than you think. Don’t patronize me.” Her hands connected around the back of my neck. “And don’t think there’s nothing worth being happy about. You’ll find your solid ground again.”

  Her plump red lips filled my vision and hypnotized me as they moved. I thought she would surely inch closer for a kiss and I would have returned it with everything in my body. But when I flicked my eyes up, her lashes fluttered over her eyes like butterfly wings.

  Gravity and fatigue pulled her eyelids down, along with the rest of her body. Her inhibitions completely gone, she encircled her arms around my neck and leaned her full weight against me as she rested her head down on my shoulder.

  It was the first full-on affectionate touch I received in over a year. Not only was I rock hard and nearly bursting out of my pants, my whole body wanted to mold to hers. I y
earned to explore every curve and feel the warmth of her back under my palm. Our hearts almost pressed directly against each other and pounded in time as if they were communicating in a language without words.

  I may have fallen from the grace of God and began a flirtatious dance with the devil just by having her at my place, but even I wasn’t evil enough to take advantage of a girl who was falling unconscious.

  “Maggie.”

  My lips brushed her forehead as I tried to gently rouse her enough to stand up. She let out a small moan and just shifted in my lap. Her leg definitely brushed against my cock. I allowed my fingers to gently run across her back.

  “Maggie, you can sleep in my bed,” I murmured.

  “Wanna stay with you,” she mumbled back, tightening her grip around my neck.

  “I’ll be on the couch if you need me.”

  “No.”

  She lifted her head and trailed her lips a bit clumsily across my neck, but it still set my blood on fire. My fingers tensed on her back, fighting the urge to grip her clothes in my fist as I bit down hard inside my cheek. I was trying so hard to keep a clear, level head but this girl was drowning me in the sweet sensations of her.

  “I told you I’d sleep with you,” she whispered. “I want to.”

  “That’s not going to happen.”

  My voice was firm. I couldn’t live with myself if I took advantage of a girl in this state.

  “Okay but… I don’t want to sleep alone.”

  Her voice took on a higher pitch like that of a vulnerable little girl who was afraid of the dark.

  As she should be.

  “Alright, I’ll lay down with you,” I conceded.

  With two small pats on her back, I finally coaxed her into sliding off my lap. Taking her small, girlish hands, I helped her to her feet as I stood. She leaned against me like a tree falling in a forest.

  “How are you feeling?” I asked as I half dragged, half led her to my bedroom. “Do you feel sick at all?”

  “No, just sleepy.”

  Her eyes appeared closed on the entire journey to my room, where I flicked on the light. My king-sized bed would allow us plenty of room to sleep without touching, although I planned to move to the couch once she was knocked out.