Big Bad Sinner: A Forbidden Romance

by Annette Fields

  ***

  “Thanks for the ride, Ang,” I said as we pulled up to my house. My eyes focused on the front door and I willed my thoughts away from Kaine. I had different battles to sort out today.

  “Hey, you going to see Marie today?” she asked.

  “Yeah, if I can get out there without the parents of the year breathing down my neck.” The bitterness already dripped in my voice.

  “Tell her I said hi. And here.” She rummaged in her purse for a minute and pulled out a small bag of candies. “Give these to Jeremy for me.”

  “For sure.” I could already see his eyes lighting up. “He’ll love these, but Marie will hate you for putting him on a sugar high.”

  “Hey, I gotta spoil somebody’s kid before I pop out my own,” Angie grinned. “Give ‘em my best. See ya later.”

  “Bye.”

  I exited her car and took a deep breath before walking up the steps to my front door. The moment I unlocked it and headed for the stairs, I should’ve known I wouldn’t get a moment of peace.

  “Maggie!” my mom shrilled, running in from the kitchen. “You’re home! How was Angelica’s?”

  “Fine,” I muttered.

  “I hope you had a nice girls-only sleepover. You didn’t sneak off to see any boys, did you?” she giggled as if she said a naughty word.

  “No.”

  I’d been lying to my mother since I was at least ten years old. It was like second nature to me at this point.

  Before she could say anything else asinine, I took the stairs two at a time to my bedroom. After a quick shower, I threw on a pair of sweats and a hoodie, then grabbed my duffel bag from my closet.

  Careful to not make enough noise for my mother to come up and investigate, I dropped to the floor and scooted on my back next to my bed.

  I slept on a futon that was pretty low to the ground and couldn't slide all the way underneath anymore, thanks to boobs getting in the way. So I aligned my body with the length of my bed and got as much of my arm, shoulder, and hip underneath as I could.

  When I touched the underside of the mattress, my fingers barely brushed the bundles of fabric I stashed there.

  Straining and reaching, I grabbed each one, about the size of a folded bath towel, and tossed them in my duffel bag.

  I only had six for today. Schoolwork had been intense for the past week, plus my parents seemed especially up my ass lately.

  With the bundles neatly stacked in the bottom of my duffel, I rifled through my closet next. Every week I always seemed to find some clothes in the back of my closet I never wore and yet my massive amount of laundry never seemed to get any smaller.

  With my bag well stuffed with clothes and the cloth bundles, I zipped it up securely and threw a beanie over my wet, tangled hair before heading downstairs.

  Of course, Mom hovered around the bottom of the staircase like a goddamn oversize Tinkerbell, waiting for me and watching my every move.

  "Where are you going so soon?" she asked. "I'm getting breakfast ready."

  "To the gym," I replied curtly. "I'll eat something while I'm out."

  "You know, Maggie." She approached me with her tone already turning patronizing, her eyes raking over me like a pair of microscopes. "There's a proverb that says, 'Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised'."

  "I'll remember that," I muttered as I pushed past her and through the front door.

  “We’re attending a new church tomorrow, so be back at a decent hour!” she called after me.

  I walked away faster and pulled my beanie down low over my ears in reply.

  I tried not to let it bother me as she spewed her hypocritical Bible verses at me. She who whined about her Louis Vuitton bag being fake, who stared at me with more envy and contempt than any so-called mean girl at school, among far worse sins.

  Every time I made this walk, I told myself I had to save up for a car but it never seemed to happen. I always needed to buy more fabric and thread, and the high-quality stuff since the winter would be cold.

  I opened my phone to double-check Marie's text. After getting kicked out of their old place by the cops, they moved to a spot near the freeway.

  After another mile of walking, I went off the street and cautiously slid down an embankment that would lead me directly under the freeway overpass. When I saw the tents and figures huddled around fires, I knew I was at the right place.

  Some faces were familiar, others were new. A younger guy wearing what once must have been a nice suit sat dejectedly on a slab of concrete with a 40-ounce bottle of Mickey's in his hand. His face looked like it wasn't used to going days without washing, and he stared at nothing.

  I wondered what his story was. A young, fresh-faced lawyer whose firm went bankrupt? A salesman with a learning disability he tried to hide?

  "Don't mind him," said Rufus, an older man with a white beard stained yellow in some places from tobacco. "He's still fighting where the current has taken him."

  I nodded. It never got easier to see people from so-called normal lives finding themselves in a homeless camp. I cried every day when I first started coming out here.

  "I have a bundle for him if he needs one," I told Rufus. "I didn't have time to make many this week, though."

  "God bless you, darlin'," he rasped, smiling through his wiry beard. "Give him a bit of time first. He needs to let go of that pride still."

  I nodded again and considered asking him how he could still believe in God when his whole adult life consisted of homelessness and jail cells.

  But for once I held my tongue.

  "You seen Marie?"

  "Cookin' some breakfast down there." He turned and pointed to a group of people huddled around a larger fire. "We got eggs and a package of hot dogs we gotta use 'fore they go bad."

  "Thanks."

  I adjusted the duffel bag on my shoulder as I made my way to the tight circle of people. From a distance, I could see Marie's dark hair like mine, pulled back in a messy ponytail as she turned hot dogs over a cast-iron griddle, which was held over a fire with two cinderblocks.

  "MAGGIE!"

  A high-pitched voice yelled my name and the most adorable three-year-old boy with the biggest smile came running up to greet me. His jacket was too big and carried a couple of holes, but it was still better than the last one he had which was too small and barely kept him warm.

  "Hey, Jer-bear!" I cooed as I swept him up in my arms and sat him against my hip. He giggled as I bounced and tickled him, making my way over to the group of adults around the fire.

  His mom looked up and smiled when he came running toward me. I hated to admit it but she seemed happier here. Sure she was tired, stressed, and didn't always know when her next meal would come but she had Jeremy and she could smile. She never smiled at home.

  I anchored Jeremy against my hip and wrapped my other arm around his mother in a tight hug. Every day I came out here, I greeted them like it was my last day to spend with them. No one ever knew if tomorrow would be their last day in this town, or last day alive.

  "Hey sis," I whispered into her hair.

  TEN

  KAINE

  I worked on my sermon until my vision blurred and I could barely keep my eyes open.

  When I looked away from the document, my clock read 1:17 am. Exactly twenty-four hours ago, a captivating beauty named Magdalene walked into my life and I could not seem to get her out of my head.

  With a sigh, I shut everything down and turned off the lights. I had to get a full night of sleep in order to be in top shape for delivering this sermon tomorrow.

  I went into the bedroom and paused when I looked at my bed. The sheet on her side was still rumpled and pushed back. If I laid down on that side, it would probably still smell like her.

  My cock twitched at the memory of her naked back, the wings of her shoulder blades on display as she wrapped her arms around the underside of the pillow.

  Angel wings.

  No. />
  My hand drifted to my cock and I yanked it away. I already selfishly pleasured myself today. Twice in one day would be abhorrent.

  I peeled off my shirt and collapsed down on my usual spot, making a mental note to wash the sheets tomorrow after church. The sooner her memory faded, the better.

  Of course, my sleep was plagued with lustful dreams of her.

  Her image was so vivid and real that I could feel her hot, slick thighs quivering as they gripped me. My heart hammered against her small palms on my chest as she rode me, rolling her hips and letting out the sweetest moans every time she impaled herself on my length. Her nipples pebbled into tight little mounds as I squeezed them between my fingertips.

  But best of all her gorgeous face, flushed and wild-eyed, exuded pure bliss and ecstasy. This was all she needed, all she wanted. And I was the only man who could give it to her.

  Her eyes rolled back in her head as she came and I knew it was a divine experience. For a moment her soul left her body and she floated among the other angels. When I released my seed into her tight, greedy pussy, I was right there with her.

  Waking up was the most hellish disappointment. I had kicked the sheet off in my sleep and the first thing I saw was my morning wood pointing straight up at the ceiling.

  Well, only one thing to do about that.

  My muscles ached as I swung my feet to the floor and stood. I really pushed it hard in my workout yesterday. Today, on the holy day of rest, I needed to go twice as hard to exorcise these lustful cravings from my body.

  I pulled on my gym shorts and did the heaviest, most intense nonstop workout I could manage before getting ready for church. When it was time to shower, I practically crawled into the bathroom to turn the water on.

  My erection was gone but thoughts of Maggie still lingered. I said a silent prayer in my head as the scalding water massaged over my achingly sore muscles.

  Dear Lord, please allow these sinful thoughts to be removed from my mind when I'm in Your house, guiding Your people. Let me deliver this sermon with purity and light in my heart, and release me from this temptation. Amen.

  ***

  "Thank you all for joining me on this blessed day."

  I scanned the crowd, watching the last of the stragglers filing into the chapel as I began my talk.

  It was a perfect day for a church service. The sun was high and shone through the stained glass windows, casting a bright glow across the open, airy chapel as people settled into their pews.

  Some faces were new but many were familiar. The new eyes gazed up at me curiously, waiting to see how I would interpret the will of the Lord.

  The familiar eyes were more suspicious. They knew I broke the sacred vow of marriage and as their religious leader, held me to a higher standard than their neighbor or friend. I hoped this talk would resonate with the newcomers but I would be speaking directly from my heart to those who lost trust in me.

  Just before I ascended the pulpit, I prayed fervently to earn their forgiveness and be welcomed into their hearts again.

  "Today, I'll be speaking of knowing the difference between when God is speaking to you versus the devil," I began.

  Low murmurs came up from the crowd, barely audible to the untrained ear but I heard it all the same.

  "It might seem like a no-brainer," I continued, making gentle eye contact with those who watched me. "It's easy to blame the devil when bad things happen to us. And it's easy to praise God when everything is going well.

  "But we all know," I raised my voice while taking a dramatic pause, feeling fully in my element as a pastor. "That life is not easy, nor is it simple. And that is for a very specific reason."

  All eyes were raptly glued to me now, bored expressions gone. I knew that would be the hook. Everyone wanted to know why at least one aspect of their life always sucked.

  "Humanity was doomed with sin the moment Eve plucked the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge. This was our downfall as we were no longer perfect, but perhaps it was also our greatest blessing."

  You could hear a pin drop in the chapel. Everyone sat perfectly silent waiting for me to continue.

  "For how could we ever love and appreciate paradise without the knowledge of suffering?" My voice echoed powerfully off the walls. "God would not bless us with loving homes and families if we did not pour our blood, sweat, and tears into them."

  Each person in the room felt like I was talking directly to them. I saw smiles, nods, and tears as I spoke and held eye contact with as many people as I could. This was my true calling, what I was born to do. The word of God moved through me so much that I no longer glanced down at my notes but spoke directly from the heart.

  The words came out of me like He spoke through me Himself. Until I looked into a pair of eyes that mirrored my own.

  Then the words stopped.

  My eyes fell to the pair of red lips that I nearly kissed and dreamed of being wrapped around my cock, which now rose to attention.

  I blinked and quickly rubbed my eyes.

  She was really there. Truly, physically sitting in my chapel with an older couple who I assumed were her parents.

  How? Why?

  I didn't believe in coincidences. Everything had divine meaning. She was here for a reason.

  My Magdalene, always pushing boundaries. Her clothes were entirely black and barely church appropriate. The skirt showed just a little too much creamy thigh and the blouse just a tad too much breast. Her mother squirmed uncomfortably next to her.

  I didn't recognize her parents. They must have been newcomers. What the hell were the odds?

  My gaze dropped to my notecards. I knew I had taken an unusually long pause and had to jump back into my career-saving speech with a massive hard-on hidden behind the pulpit and the reason for it sitting out there distracting me.

  No pressure or anything.

  "2 Corinthians 11:41 states that Satan disguises himself as an angel of light," I continued. "The devil is sly and takes on many forms beyond just that of a serpent to tempt and seduce us."

  I intentionally looked away from Maggie and her family as I continued speaking but could feel her eyes on me all the same.

  "By the same token, the Lord can seem so cruel. Good people run into hardship after hardship until they fall to their knees and cry out, ‘why have you forsaken me?’ But little do we remember that God places obstacles in our path as stepping stones to greater, future blessings."

  I paused dramatically once again, feeling steadier as long as Maggie wasn't in my field of vision.

  "So how do we know whether God or Satan is communicating with us?" I asked, leaning forward over the pulpit. In turn, everyone in the crowd leaned forward toward me, anxiously awaiting the conclusion to my speech.

  "When you are at a crossroads," I said in a low voice, making them listen harder. "When you have a choice you must make, do what's hardest."

  I paused again and a low murmur rose from the pews.

  "If you find yourself uncomfortable with what you must do, imagine Christ's suffering!" I exclaimed, beating my fist once against the podium. "There are no shortcuts! We must always push through suffering!"

  I paused and lowered my voice to a near whisper for the final time. "Because we would never appreciate Heaven, we would never know peace, without suffering."

  ELEVEN

  KAINE

  Such a huge rush of people came up to greet me after my speech, you would have thought I was Jesus himself.

  Plenty of other classes and church activities were scheduled but I was swarmed the minute I descended the stage. I shook hands, gave gracious thank-you’s, and tried my best to remember names of newcomers.

  Now that I could no longer see over everyone’s heads, I could only hope that Maggie and her family crept out the front door as soon as the sermon was over.

  Of course, no such luck.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the three of them waiting patiently to speak to me through the throng of people.

&nbs
p; My pulse accelerated as I plastered on my best I’ve-never-seen-you-before-in-my-life smile.

  It was too late to make myself scarce now and I could only pray that Maggie would go along with the charade.

  "Hello!" I exclaimed, clasping her father's hand in mine first. "God bless and welcome to Holy Waters. I'm Pastor Cross. It's lovely to have you in our house of worship."

  "Great to meet you, pastor," her father replied. "I'm Ben Mays and this is my wife, Lila."

  As I reached out to shake Maggie's mother's hand, I noticed she unbuttoned her cardigan and her blouse was even more low-cut and revealing than Maggie's.

  "It's a pleasure, Lila," I greeted, snapping my eyes back up to her face.

  "Oh no, Pastor Cross!" she answered with a girlish giggle, clutching my fingers long after our handshake ended. "The pleasure is completely and utterly mine."

  In my peripheral vision, I saw Maggie's eyes roll back, not unlike how they did in my dream. Unfortunately, it was a reaction to her mother's desperate flirtation rather than her own pleasure.

  I smiled politely until she finally released my hand. Poor Ben seemed absolutely clueless at his wife's blatant disrespect right in front of him.

  "And this is our daughter, Magdalene," he said, gesturing toward Maggie.

  "A pleasure to meet you, Mag... dalene." I nearly caught myself saying Maggie instead of her full name.

  She caught it too.

  "Call me Maggie," she said with a wily smirk, accepting my handshake but letting go of me entirely too soon.

  "We were quite taken by your talk," her mother said breathily, squeezing her breasts in with her arms. "We've been looking for a good church that fits us, especially with Maggie."

  Lila placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder and gave her a wistful look, which Maggie returned with an expression of pure venom.

  "My daughter has a wonderful soul but she needs more positive, wholesome guidance in her life. And well, I think you'll be seeing a lot more of us."

  "I'm happy to hear it," I said, ignoring the tension between Maggie and her mother, plus the clear innuendo she threw at me. "We have activities and programs for all ages. If you talk to anyone on the leadership team, I'm sure they'll be able to help you out."