by Cary Hart
“What? Thong?” I don’t understand what she’s saying and my question isn’t registering with her.
“Nat, love, don’t be such a prude. I saw those granny panties when unpacking your clothes and if you think those are going to bring out your inner sass then you are sadly mistaken. Spice it up baby girl, and get you some thongs. Nothing like a little something riding up this…” she swats my butt. “All day long to remind you to live life and be sassy! Tomorrow is the day you are going to dig deep and find your inner goddess. Now off to bed.”
“Gamms, a thong isn’t to solve my problems.”
“Nonsense! Now go!” She walks off humming “The Thong Song,” leaving me standing there speechless.
“So, sweet thing, what look are you going for?” Dante brings me back to the present.
“I just need a new me. This look reflects my old life and Santa Barbara is the beginning of a new one…I want to bring sexy back!” I say with a smile, knowing that Gamms was right.
“Honey, now you are speaking my language.”
**********
Colin
“Daisy, I need you to pick up my dry cleaning before work tomorrow. I know it’s not in your job description, but if you could do me this solid, I would appreciate it.”
I hear her sigh on the other end, and know I have to make it up to her.
“Colin, Ferris had me running around all weekend and Mondays are my day of clarity to destress from social madness.”
“I know, I know. I ran into an emergency at home and couldn’t get back in time before they closed…but I did happen to bring you back a surprise.”
“Ohhhhhh…don’t tell me it’s a blueberry-lemon scone with a side of lemon curd? Colin, dude, you don’t play fair.”
I can practically hear her salivating on the other end. Ever since I brought in a sample box of treats from Lexi’s Sweet and Savory Bistro, she practically jumps me when I walk in every time she knows I’ve been back to St. Helena. Feeling her defeat, I decide to go in for the kill. “I’ll even stop by Starbucks and get you your favorite.”
“Even though it’s tempting, you already owe me from last week’s dinner disaster. That is the last time I cover for you when you decide to screw the client.”
“I didn’t know she was our client. I met her at the hotel bar and one thing led to another…”
“Colin, enough! I can’t do it. I’m sorry. I have plans and I can’t break them. I do have a life after all. No matter what you guys think, I’m not at your beck and call. How about you navigate that fancy car of yours to the mall and pick up your suits you had tailored last week. This would solve both of our problems.”
“So, is that a no?” I’m just messing with her now. She makes it so easy. Daisy Daniels has been forced into this job by her sister, Lillian. Apparently she called in a favor to Ferris and the rest is history. Not sure why she isn’t doing something that is more suited for her personality, but she is here and we all are adjusting.
“COLIN!”
“Daisy, chill sweetheart, I’m just giving you a hard time. I completely forgot about the suits.” My grin totally fades once I hear her sobbing on the other end. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, just a long weekend. But since you decided to ruin my day, you are still bringing me those scones and you will bring me coffee, but this time make it a decaf! Please and thank you.” CLICK
“Damn, someone is moody!” I mumble as I pull into the mall parking garage.
This weekend has been shit and Monday is not going to be any better. Ferris decided that we needed another engineer, with a “degree,” to handle a situation that came up. My experience and previous jobs speak for themselves, but Ferris’ legal team suggested he needed someone on his staff, that was a degreed engineer, to sign off on all the paperwork.
Normally, this wouldn’t upset me because this removes Tanner Construction from any future legal issues. However, hearing them throw the dig at me about the “degree” made me a tad pissy. I had always planned to attend the University of California, Berkeley to study architecture engineering, but my family insisted I become a lawyer and if I didn’t comply, my schooling wasn’t paid for. I qualified for a scholarship, but that was stolen from me by someone I considered a best friend. Someone who betrayed me. Someone who took my dreams and made them her own.
She is the reason I followed Tanner to the local college. We both were screwed over by girls and that solidified our bond as brothers. I got my business degree as he furthered his career in the NFL, but after a ring and an injury he came back and we started Tanner Construction. My chance at redemption.
**********
Natalie
Sexy lingerie sets? Check! Hair and makeup?? Check, check! Now off to Nordstrom’s to find my new look. When I left New York, I only packed a few items to get me to Gamms. I managed to wad up a few nice suits, but wad up are the key words. Meaning I’m not sure the dry cleaner can even press those wrinkles out. Something I will have to check into on Monday. Until then, SHOPPING SPREE!
I’m wandering around Nordstrom’s not knowing where to beginning, when Katrina, a beautiful, leggy brunette who looks more like a Victoria’s Secret Angel than a personal shopper, comes to my aid. I explain what look I’m going for and she knows exactly where to take me. She bobs and weaves between mannequins, following a trail that is so long I’m wondering if I should drop my newly bought thongs as bread crumbs to find my way back. Lord knows that would be a better use for them instead of riding up my ass.
“Almost there! We have the perfect section for the business elite. If we don’t find what you are looking for here, then you won’t find it anywhere.” Katrina simply oozes the confidence I’m lacking.
As I follow behind her, something in the corner of my eye catches my attention. Not believing what I’m seeing, I freeze in place. Katrina is long gone and out of site. I look around and wonder if this is truly happening. Excitement and anger cause my anxiety to rise to a red alert level.
“Oh, I see…I was wondering where you went. Now, I know.” She is fanning herself. She slowly glances toward me then turns her eyes back on the prize. Sounding like a sex phone operator, she whispers, “Colin Palmer, is 6’ 2” of yummy goodness. Once you have a taste of what he is serving up you’ll want to keep on going back for seconds.” A knowing smiles splays across her lips.
“Ummm, Katrina, I need to go…I…uhhhh…forgot my credit card. You have been a huge, huge help, but I’ll have to come back tomorrow. I’m so sorry.” I slowly back away then turn to leave, and run right into a freaking mannequin. I go to steady it, dropping my bags, but when I bring my arm up it swings right into the mannequin on the other side of me. Now it’s a race to stabilize both of them.
“Ah hell!” I give up and watch the mannequins fall like dominos. One by one they go. I spot Katrina on the other side of the isle starting to clean up the aftermath of my destruction. Holding the ear piece she radios for assistance. Feeling embarrassed, something I’m quite familiar with, I duck my head and quickly gather my bags, only to find my panties scattered everywhere.
“Why me?” I groan, crawling around on my hands and knees in search of the missing panties. My anxiety is climbing to an all-new high. Customers are starting to gather around wondering what caused all the commotion. I just want to flee from the prying eyes, a feeling that has become all too familiar. I need to escape before I go into a full- fledged panic attack. I can’t let him see me like that.
“Breathe, Nat. Just breathe.” I chant the words I know will get me under control. Words that were whispered in my ear so long ago, that continue to calm me. I take myself back there, back in the moment.
My dad did it again. Coming to my school to find me, to claim he is back for good. I’m pretty sure he is loaded on his liquor of choice, Jack Daniels, but I can’t be certain. He may even be high. He swore he never gets high, but the rumor mill states otherwise. St. Helena’s gossip page in the paper always keeps neighbors up to date on the
latest news and this time, it’s how they can keep Tricky Nicky off the streets and away from their precious community.
His words play on repeat. “Natty bug, just tell your mom that I’m back and I’ve changed. I’m done with the gambling and have a job interview set up at the DeLuca Vineyard.” His voiced is laced with desperation. “She will listen to you, baby girl.”
“Dad… GO AWAY!” I shout in a harsh whisper. “Everyone is looking.”
“Natty…” Eyes wide, Dad takes in his surroundings. The audience, the whispers, everything that has followed me through my whole existence. “I’m a changed man.”
Then he stumbles. HE. IS. DRUNK.
“Oh God… NO!” I take off toward the bathrooms. My eyes are burning, tears are threatening to fall and my breathing is becoming ragged. I know what is happening and I just have to make it away from prying eyes. Panic is setting in and I’m stumbling over my own feet. “Almost there.” I say to myself as I push open the door to the girl’s restroom. I find the handicap stall on the end. Sitting on the tank and propping my feet up on the seat, I put my head between my legs and breathe.
“One…two…three…four…five…six…seven...” I’m almost there. Then the Jesses barge in. Jessica Callahan, Jessa Connors and Jessi Carter rule this school. Yes, they even have the same initials. Something I’m sure their moms planned, as they do everything else.
These girls make the characters in the movie “Mean Girls” look innocent. They were sneaky in their antics. The Jesses are just downright evil.
“I don’t know why Natalie lets that man get to her?” Jessa pops up. I know it’s her by the whiney, high-pitched voice. Nails on a chalk board best describes it.
“I know, right? Everyone knows that’s not even her dad.” Jessi puts in her two cents.
“Exactly, but apparently, her whore of a mom put a pussy spell on him hoping to trap the only heir of the Russo family fortune, but unfortunately for her she chose the wrong man since his parents cut him out of the will. She might as well stayed with Natalie’s sperm donor from the other side of the tracks” Jessica smacks her lips together and makes a kissing sound.
“God, that girl is so fugly.” Jessa adds with laughter.
The Jesses are in hysterics now, at my expense. I can’t take it. Tears are now streaking my face. I can’t breathe, there is no stopping this now. My hands reach up to hold my neck.
“Where is she?” The voice is familiar but sounds so far away.
My eyes are closing and I scramble to the floor to keep from falling. The door swings open and Colin bursts into the stall. He falls to his knees and pulls me into his lap. I should be embarrassed, but this has become our new routine. Him holding me while I fall apart.
We’ve become secret friends. Meeting and hanging out before and after school and, well, pretty much all weekend, when he isn’t playing football or hanging with his friend Jack Tanner, football star.
“Nat, breathe. Just breathe.” He presses my head to his chest so I can feel it rise and fall and join its rhythm. “I’ve got you. That’s it. Just breathe.”
Feeling better, but worn out, I look up and into his soft blue eyes and feel peace. Something I’m starting to feel more of when around him. When he is near, I know everything will be alright.
“Well, well, well…what do we have here?” Oh god, that is exactly the voice I didn’t want to hear.
Still on my knees, I look up and see Colin twirling my lace thongs on his index finger. This is not happening. I drop my head then look back up to see him grinning from dimple to dimple. That is the smile that could bring any woman to her knees, present party included, if I wasn’t already there. Slowly, gaining my composure, I rise and force out my newfound confidence that Gamms said was always there, deep down. I just needed to tap into it.
“I’ll take those.” I quickly grab the underwear from his finger.
“Fancy meeting you here, of all places. What brings you to Santa Barbara? Stalking me?” He is joking, but Katrina giggles.
“Well C…” Katrina places her hand on his chest as she falls into his side. “You always could knock a girl off her feet.”
“Ummm, well, I actually accepted a job here.” My confidence is fading. “I got bored with New York and Gamms was getting lonely, so when this opportunity came along, I took advantage of it.”
Colin notices Katrina’s new latched-on position and pries her off. It almost looks as if he is annoyed with her presence as he steps forward. I take a step back. Having him this close brings up feelings of need and want. It’s too much, and I take another step back. His face twists from annoyance to fear. He knows I’m going to run.
“Nat...” He reaches for my arm.
Trying to avoid Colin and whatever he is going to say, I look down at my wrist, speaking before realizing my watch is still on my nightstand. “Well, look at the time. Gamms is expecting me for dinner and I’m running extremely late.”
Colin follows my eyes down and sees the absence of a watch. He has no choice but to watch me pick up my bags, turn and leave.
Santa Barbara is big enough that I shouldn’t have to worry about running into him again. Well, at least I got it out of the way. Time to focus on the new me.
Chapter 3
Natalie
“Shit!” I overslept. Not exactly how I wanted to start my first day of work. I’m up in plenty of time to get myself ready, but after my run-in with Colin, I didn’t get a chance to pick up anything to wear and there is no time to go out and get something.
“Gamms?” I shout as I run down the hallway. “Gaaaaaaamms?” I peak my head into her room. “Where in the heck is she?” Turning quickly I stub my toe on her bed. “Shit motherfu…!”
“Natalie Isabella Russo…Don’t you dare finish that sentence! You’re not too old to wash your mouth out with soap!” She practically scares the pain from my toe.
“Sorry.” And I truly am. Somewhere along the way, I went from someone who would avoid using potty words, as my mom used to call them, to cursing like a sailor. Gamms blames it on my time in New York. As if a city could change my vocabulary. Well, maybe there is some truth to it, now that I think about it. Everyone in the Big Apple keeps a fast pace. They don’t want explanations or descriptive answers, just facts. If you need to express yourself, it tends to come out in one-word sentences.
“Now do you care to tell me what all this ruckus is about? I was trying to give Cocksucker a pep talk. He has been sweet on Cybil and that feisty thing won’t give him the time of day.” Her mind seems to be elsewhere. I’m sure her wheels are turning on how she can conjure up a plan so Cocksucker can get his groove on. It wouldn’t surprise me if she lights candles, buys a special blend of feed and breaks out Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On.” The thought makes me giggle.
“Well, I took your advice and got my hair done and got a makeover at Sephora. I even went and bought the undergarments you said I needed to make me confident and sassy, but while I was at Nordstrom’s, I ran into Colin Palmer. Not only did I run into him, but I crashed into a line of mannequins, and well…It’s me, so you can imagine how that went. Embarrassed, I basically ran out of there with my tail tucked between my legs after he accused me of stalking him…” I ramble on, not taking a breath I continue. “Oh, and Katrina, my personal shopper, apparently has slept with Colin. Thankfully she spared me all the details, but I didn’t need them because my imagination went wild after seeing her paw all over him and giggle at every word. Okay…maybe I’m exaggerating a tad, but still. I was humiliated.”
“Honey, are you done? I still don’t know what your problem is. Focus.”
“My problem? Gamms! My problem is I have nothing to wear. I left before we could get to the part of me actually buying anything. Oh and did I mention that it’s my first day on the job? Seriously, I can’t catch a break.”
“Sweetie, calm down. You brought a couple suits with you.”
“I know, but they are so wrinkled, I’m not even sure the d
ry cleaners can get those out. I packed in such a hurry, I didn’t take the time to…”
“Nat, sweetie, listen. I heard you crying last night. I wasn’t sure what happened, but when I only saw makeup and lingerie bags, I knew something was wrong . I thought maybe you just decided to wear something you had, but when I noticed they were by the back door, I realized I had to take things into these old hands of mine.” Winking, she continues, “I worked my magic and was able to press your white silk blouse and emerald green pencil skirt. I’m sorry, but the jacket needs a professional touch.”
“What? Gamms, you are amazing! I swear you are Super Woman.” I pull the top of her blouse back a tad to see if she was sporting any red and blue.
“Nonsense, I’m Wonder Woman!” She swats my hand away and holds out her wrists, showing me her gold cuffs. I’m not even going to touch that. I don’t have time to find out why she is wearing those.
“Gamms, I love you. You always have taken care of me and talked me off the ledge so many times…”
“Dear, don’t get all sappy on me. Go on,” she says, pointing to the door. “And get ready. Show your boss that hiring you was the best decision he has ever made. Oh and by the way, you might want to hurry. I’m out of the coffee you like, but the hotel next to the resort has a Starbucks in the lobby.”
**********
“I would like a skinny venti mocha latte, but I do want the whip…oh and a dash of…”
“Cinnamon,” a deep, husky voice says behind me.
Turning, I see Colin standing there, polished to perfection, his hair wet and slicked back like a modern-day James Dean. He looks freshly showered, and I find myself wondering if he still uses the same clean, earthy body soap he used while in school. His body seems bigger since the last time I’ve seen him. More well-built. He always liked hitting the gym when frustrated to ease the tension. I wonder if the gym has become a habit or if his life is just extremely complex.