Without another word Adam sat down on the park bench and leaned on his knees, turning his head towards Janelle as she took a seat next to him.
“Well I hope you’ve enjoyed your self-imposed three and a half weeks off but it’s officially time to get back to work, Adam.”
Adam held his hands out. “Fine,” he said before clasping them together.
“Okay.” Janelle sighed. “I have a few gigs set up for the band to continue promoting the album--”
“Which has been selling pretty damn well all on its own without any promotion.”
Janelle decided to ignore that, struggling to maintain a cheery, sing-song tone of voice. “The first gig is going to be at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show this Friday.”
Adam’s jaw clenched.
Janelle noticed. “It’s just three songs. The opener, intermission and the encore. Quick and easy. In and out. I wasn’t sure which three songs you’d think would be best since the models will be walking to the music, so that’s why I asked you to meet me. I know ‘Stereo’ is the big hit right now, but for the opener I was thinking something more fast-faced, upbeat--”
“Will she be there?”
Janelle held her breath at the question and thought long and hard about how she should answer. She could lie, but realized the future repercussions of lying to him about this would not spell out good things for their professional future. “Yes. She’ll be there.”
“Then I won’t.”
“Adam common… It’s been a month. And I’ve already confirmed the band will be there--”
“Cancel it.”
“This is getting so ridiculous--”
“I said cancel it.”
Janelle looked off and, without another word, took out her phone. She began to dial a number but halfway through, she turned to him. “Adam,” she said, gently.
Adam’s head fell.
“Listen to me.” Janelle was now positive that the fake relationship and fake break up between Adam and Shaun had been anything but fake. She could have kicked herself for missing it. In hindsight it all seemed very obvious. She had always been aware that they were a little more connected to each other than the average P.R.-concocted couple was required to be. Even then, she’d chalked it up to just a very close friendship that may have bordered on something more. It was now clear that a border between Adam and Shaun had not only been crossed, but power leaped over. And it appeared that while Shaun had managed to make a clean landing, Adam had all but crashed and burned.
As per-usual she was unable to maintain her soothing tone for long. “You can let this fake break up ruin your life and your career or you can man the fuck up and show her that no woman has the power to bench Adam Brand. You are not a bench warmer. Never have been, never will be. I refuse to sit around and watch you throw away one opportunity after another just because you might have to see her face or have an awkward conversation. Now I’m sorry if this is harsh but you need to fucking hear it.” Janelle straightened up. “Now are you sure you want me to make this call?”
Adam reached up to massage his eyes from under his sunglasses. After a few moments he clasped his hands back together and looked out at the park in front of them. “No,” he finally answered.
Janelle exhaled. “Thank god. So I was thinking ‘That Girl’ for the opener, ‘Stereo’ in the middle and ‘Lights Out’ for the encore.”
“No.” Adam shook his head. “Stereo for the encore.”
Janelle didn’t agree, but was so thrilled that he was showing even the minutest bit of interest that she decided not to argue. “Okay, done.” She made a note on her iPad before throwing him a look. “And Adam?”
Adam looked to her and raised his eyebrows.
“Proud of you,” Janelle said, with a small half-smile.
Adam watched her for a long while before sitting up tall and throwing out a few more ideas for her to consider. Janelle was soon regaling him with all of the great work she had lined up for him, even managing to illicit a smile or two out of him as afternoon fell into evening and they finally went their separate ways.
--
After a Friday morning of much needed rest and relaxation in the spa near her home, Shaun stepped out into the parking lot to continue checking things off the long list of tasks she had ahead of her that day. Brazilian blowout, bikini wax, bills, groceries, the list seemed to go on and on these days. Now that Jackson had ensured that no one in Los Angeles would hire her as a writer, Shaun had finally given in and accepted that, while modeling was a thankless, mundane career that bored her to death… At least it paid the bills. It was career that also required quite a bit of upkeep. She was only a month into her career as a model and staying ‘runway ready’ was proving to be the same thing as having a second job, except one that she wasn’t getting paid for.
The moment she stepped out of the spa, she was surprised to be met with dozens of photographers all yelling her name. Though she and Adam never officially announced their ‘break-up’ to the press, they hadn’t been seen together for weeks, and she found herself getting photographed a lot less than she did when she was with Adam. For that she was thankful. There were days here and there, however, that she would walk out of a building and be caught off guard by camera flashes in her face. Why they still cared about taking her picture, she had no idea. Flashes flew at her from left and right and she barely blinked, clutching her bag to her body as she made her way to her car.
“Shaun, where’s Adam?”
“Shaun you look beautiful!”
“Shaun! Shaun! Will you be joining Adam at the Grammys in New York?”
Shaun threw a pair of sunglasses on and powered through, surprised when the photographers kept a safe distance and gave her space.
It was still a strange feeling, being photographed without Adam at her side. If he were here at this point she would have already taken a death grip on his arm and cuddled her body as close to his as possible. He would have accepted her and linked his fingers with hers protectively. He would have squeezed her hand every time a photographer got a little too close. Just to remind her that he was there next to her. That he would protect her.
An overwhelming need to call him, to reach out to him, gripped her as it often did these days. She hadn’t called him since the day he’d told her he never wanted to see her again. Even if she was dying for him to know how eternally sorry she was—for him to hear her side of the story—she had to remind herself that this wasn’t all about her. It was about him, too. He hadn’t reached out to her so he had clearly meant what he said. It had been a month and he wasn’t longing for her nearly as much as she was for him. If he had been, he would have surely called her by now, right? He really didn’t ever want to see her again.
Shaun could only hope that one day that reality wouldn’t cut quite as deeply as it did now.
With no one to hold onto, she clutched the strap of her purse and sped up.
--
Later that night after being poked, plucked and all around tortured, Shaun was taking in her reflection in one of the many full length mirrors that lined the chaotic backstage walls of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. The festivities were set to begin in less than twenty minutes and, having walked her fair share of runways over the past month, Shaun was no longer fighting back the urge to throw up her breakfast out of sheer terror.
Her eyes scanned her body in the mirror. Clad in black lingerie, thigh highs and garter she would be leaving absolutely zero to the imagination tonight. She could feel her stick straight hair brushing softly against the swell of her ass as she turned from left to right, admiring the fine job that the hair and make-up artists had done making her look sexy and powerful. Though she was still getting used to having her body on full display, she couldn’t argue the strange power that rocking a beautiful set of lingerie brought her. For the first time in her life she was accepting and celebrating her body, her womanhood. She was hot!
One of the many costume designers ran up behind
her and helped Shaun pull on a pair of elbow length gloves that were canary yellow and a beautiful contrast to the sheer dark lingerie she wore. A massive pair of black wings that looked almost demonic were the final touch to Shaun’s outfit. Just as they were hooked onto her back she heard her name over the speakers.
“Shaun in ten. I need Shaun in ten.”
Shaun breathed deep. It was show time.
“You look stunning.”
Shaun’s shocked eyes locked with a man she hadn’t even realized had come up next to her, then widened. He was a massive mountain of a man, at least six feet five inches of bulk and muscle that was lined with a beautifully tailored four piece grey suit. His short, sleek dark hair and even darker eyes screamed out at her as their gazes battled in the mirror’s reflection. When he smiled, her heart immediately danced. Never in her life had a man this handsome ever bestowed upon her the unwavering attention this strange man was, and Shaun couldn’t help a blush.
“Thanks,” she responded. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but found herself speechless. She realized that she still had no idea how to talk to attractive men. Especially not one as drop dead gorgeous as this one. What this one had went far beyond just ‘attractive.’ He was on his own level, simply breathtaking and powerful in his own right.
He didn’t miss her nervous energy, but seemed all the more charmed by it. Without breaking their eye contact in the mirror, the man held out an open palm in front of her naked belly, offering his hand. “I’m Maxim. Maxim Banakas.”
Shaun was instantly horrified. “Oh you’re, you’re Maxim! You’re the… You’re the President of Victoria’s Secret.”
“The President of Limited Brands, but… close enough. You can call me Max.”
Shaun was mortified. She was looking into the eyes of a very important man, one who was probably at least partially responsible for the fact that she was even standing there right at that moment, and she hadn’t even realized it. She could have kicked herself. Her eyes scanned him once more. He couldn’t have been a day over 40. How was it possible that a man so accomplished could be so young?
A kind smile touched his full lips. He graciously allowed her a moment to drink in this new information.
Shaun sputtered, “Well, I’m embarrassed.”
“Don’t be.”
“I’m Shaun.” She pointed to herself.
“I know.”
“I’m walking in the show tonight.”
“I noticed that.”
Shaun instantly reacted to his unapologetic voyage of her nearly naked body. He didn’t leer, but he also didn’t leave any question as to his appreciation of her ‘costume’.
“Unless this hose and garter is just your normal Friday night get-up?”
Shaun appreciated the joke and couldn’t stop the laugh that immediately bubbled up from her lips. She waved a hand. “This old thing? I just dug it out of the back of my closet this morning....” She placed a hand on her hip, feeling like she’d won a medal at the sound of his laughter.
He was so calm. Standing there with his hand resting calmly in his pocket and an unruffled smile on his face he bordered on arrogant. She supposed a man of his stature had no choice but to be.
Shaun blushed, again. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Likewise. I’ve been following your work. Honestly, I’ve been anxious to meet you.”
At that, Shaun turned to him and pointed to herself again. “Me?”
His smile grew. “Yes. I think you and I could do a lot of great things together.”
“Oh… What kind of great things?”
“The sky is our limit.”
Shaun looked down at their hands, which she hadn’t even realized had remained locked in a handshake the entire time they’d been speaking. “Oh…” She jammed her eyes shut. How had she completely lost her grasp on the entire English language?
“I would love it if you’d allow me to accompany you to the after party tonight? Perhaps we could discuss it further?”
“Sure.” Shaun nodded. “That sounds fun.”
“And Adam… Wouldn’t mind?
Shaun was stunned at the question. Adam. It suddenly became very clear why this entire conversation had been just a little shaky from her end. Maxim must have sensed it, as well, or he wouldn’t have felt the obligation to inquire about Adam, at all. Her awkwardness wasn’t because she was completely socially inept, not fully anyway, it was because of the lingering thought of Adam. Even if they hadn’t spoken in a month she still felt some strange responsibility to him. They no longer owed each other anything, she wasn’t sure if they ever had, but she felt like she was doing something wrong to be speaking to an attractive older man. “No. Adam and I parted ways a little while ago so…”
“I’m sorry about that.”
He wasn’t sorry, at all, and from the tone of his voice Shaun was sure he wanted her to know it.
“Well I—“ Shaun’s looked into the backstage area and as her gaze came upon the green eyes that had thrown her life into such beautiful chaos she snatched her hand out of Maxim’s like he’d caught fire.
Adam, who just a moment before had been following closely behind a stage hand, had come to a complete stop at the sight of Shaun hand in hand with a man he immediately recognized as Maxim Banakas. The sensation of every last bone in his body tightening to the point of intense pain was almost immediate.
This was why he hadn’t wanted to do this show. This was exactly why. He would make Janelle pay for this if his entire life depended on it.
“Adam,” Shaun said breathlessly. It was the first time they’d laid eyes on each other since that horrible night at the police station and the moment she saw him it all became very clear. She wasn’t ready to go to that party with Maxim tonight. She wasn’t ready to go to a party with anyone who wasn’t the man standing in front of her looking like she’d stabbed him clear in the heart with a machete. She had a distinct urge to explain that she and Maxim had literally just met, but bit her tongue when she realized that wouldn’t be appropriate. She and Adam weren’t together anymore. They didn’t owe each other anything.
So why did it feel like they did?
A microphone had been hanging lazily from Adam’s fingers and, after catching eyes with Shaun, it began teetering dangerously close to the tips of them, mere inches from falling to the ground. His eyes scanned her, taking in every inch slowly and--just like that—the mic was suddenly clenched in a death grip as his eyes met hers once more.
She looked like pure sex. He barely recognized her, but even still, right there in her eyes, right before him, was his sweet Shaun. Or at least the ‘sweet Shaun’ that he’d concocted in his head for the last few months. Had that Shaun ever been real?
Shaun tried to smile, but wasn’t sure if she succeeded. “Hi. Hi?” she whispered.
Adam gripped the microphone tighter, so much so that his arm bent just so at the elbow, making his lean muscles scream out. Without another word he continued toward the stage and didn’t look back.
Shaun took the first breath she had in minutes.
--
Twenty minutes later the lights had dimmed and the show had begun. Strobe lights, theatric smoke and the beautiful music of The White Keys quickly set the ambiance. The biggest names in modeling had breezed onto the runway looking dewy and perfect as usual, eliciting stares of admiration from every mere mortal they passed, but all Shaun could focus on was Adam. The White Keys were halfway into their opening number and, though the woman in lingerie were meant to be the stars of the show that night, Shaun only had eyes for Adam.
When the first strings of their song, ‘Stereo’, wafted through the speakers Shaun felt her entire heart crash to the ground at her feet. It was the song Adam had sang to her in Australia all those weeks ago. The song he’d sang just moments before kissing her in front of an arena full of people. Shaun realized, watching him in that moment, that it was the song he’d been singing the moment she realized that she
was madly in love with him. It was the song that had changed everything.
From backstage she watched while he worked the runway like the consummate professional he was. He looked and sounded beautiful and was keeping the crowd utterly entertained while giving the models beautiful music to stomp to. His music was a true contribution and, as she watched him, Shaun felt herself swelling with pride. Every wave of pride that hit her, however, seemed to be almost immediately followed with an equally strong wave of grief. She missed him terribly. She was dreadfully sorry and had no idea what to do to make him understand just how sorry she was. Just how much she missed him. How much she wanted him back.
She found herself smiling at the little dance moves he executed on stage every now and again. He couldn’t dance, but somehow it worked and elevated the performance.
“Shaun!”
Shaun almost jumped out of her skin at the sound of her name being screamed with such urgency that it made her wonder just how long she had been completely zoned out staring at Adam. She must have looked like a complete love sick psycho who was bordering on pathetic at how obsessed she still was with her ex-boyfriend.
“You’re next, you’re next, you’re next,” the stagehand sputtered, grabbing Shaun’s wrist and pushing her towards the stairs that led up to the stage. Shaun allowed herself to be manhandled, all the while wondering how anyone could possibly make it through a single day being as stressed out as ninety percent of the people in this industry seemed to be every day. It was just another reminder of how wrong this job was for her. She simply wasn’t a model, but somehow, she seemed to be the only one who saw it. The industry had been so accepting of her weird and eccentric nature, to the point of almost celebrating it. Even most of the costumes they had lined up for her tonight, though still sexy, were a little more sugary than sultry, a little more sporty than sensual. Shaun figured that even the modeling industry needed a proverbial underdog… And she was it.
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