Alive! Not Dead!

by R. M. Smith

  I continued “That was your chance to get away, Mindy. I was protecting you by giving myself into them. When they took me away, I expected you to make a run for it and never return because I was going to die. Die, to protect you.”

  Fresh tears were running down her cheeks. “I know Dan. I know you gave yourself up for me.”

  “But I fucked up,” I said. “I should have fought Mits. I could have kicked her or we could have made a run for it, like you said. But…I saw it as an out for us and I was wrong. I am sorry that she did that to you.”

  She nodded.

  “And no matter what,” I said “it will never happen again.”

  “Ok.”

  “Do you forgive me?”

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  I smiled at her.

  “Can you come in here? It’s cold,” Mindy said with a little shiver.

  “Sure. Let me put the camp fire out first.”

  “K.”

  The next morning, we stopped on the north end of Sheridan at a travel plaza for fuel. Mindy went inside looking for anything to eat.

  Food was getting very scarce. She came back out holding some dry cereal boxes that had already been opened. Only a few crumbs were left in the bottoms of the bags inside. The dates on the packages were coming up to their due dates, too. The food tasted stale.

  I swallowed 2 more of the Tylenols with our light breakfast.

  “We’re going to have to find a different source of food soon,” I told Mindy as I finished siphoning some gas out of a nearby car.

  “And some coats,” she added.

  “Yeah it’s getting pretty chilly…”

  We heard something. There was a low rumble. As it grew louder, we realized it was the sound of approaching motorcycles.

  “Get down!” I told Mindy.

  We both hunkered down behind the car I had been siphoning fuel from. We looked both directions up and down the highway.

  The sound was coming from the north. Coming down the highway we saw three motorcycles. The first one was driven by Mason! He didn’t have a shirt on! I laughed out loud. The second was driven by a red head. Right behind her was Vera on her own motorcycle.

  “Hurry!” I said. I quickly popped the fuel lid closed on our motorcycle. Mindy hopped onto the back of the bike and we were off.

  It didn’t take long for us to catch up with them. I started beeping my horn as we got closer.

  We all pulled to the side of the road.

  Mindy got off. She ran over to Mason. She gave him a hug.

  I went over to Vera and gave her a hug, too. She smiled genuinely.

  Mason shook my hand. “How ya doing, son? It’s good to see you.”

  “Good to see you guys too,” I said.

  “Dan, Mindy, I want you to meet Rachel Manning. She joined us in Missoula.”

  She said “Hello.” She had a pleasant warm voice. Her hair was very long, red, and curly. Her eyes were an odd color green. They were yellow near the pupils. She was wearing light makeup with dark red lipstick.

  “Hi, I’m Dan,” I said. “This is my girlfriend, Mindy.”

  Mindy shook her hand. “Hi.”

  Mason asked “How was Denver?”

  I shook my head. “Not good. We’re actually on the run.”

  “Oh? What’s after ya?”

  “We’re not sure exactly. Hopefully no one, but we’re not taking any chances.”

  “Let’s turn around then. We’re about 120 miles south of Billings. How ya doing on fuel?”

  “Just filled up.”

  “Ah, we did too about an hour ago.” He looked at Vera and Rachel. “Ladies, let’s head back north.” He looked at me again. “When we get to Billings, let’s stop there and we can talk.”

  “Sounds great, Mason.”

  We went back north.

  NORTHWARD

  We drove far into the city of Billings. Mason said staying on the outskirts of town was dangerous. Who knew what kind of people would pass on the highway.

  He led us to the northern part of the city and into the parking lot of a Boot Hill Inn hotel.

  Inside, the lobby had some large broken windows overlooking a pool area with two whirlpools. The windows gave us the light we needed as we brought some of our gear in. The lobby didn’t have extensive damage other than the windows - and a fireplace made of a mosaic brick on one side of the lobby had crumbled apart. Mason brought a large container in with him. He opened it, offering us some smoked turkey wrapped in tinfoil. It tasted so good.

  “So who’s after you two?” Mason asked us as we ate.

  “We haven’t seen him, but we’ve heard of him,” I told them. “He’s a leader of a group. His name is Skin. Rumor is: he wants Mindy for his own.”

  “If you haven’t seen him, then how do you know he’s after you?”

  I told them about our incident in the hospital; how Mits killed Cab and Gordo and then forced us back to the hotel with a machete at our backs. I told them that we escaped from the hotel. I didn’t think telling them about Mindy’s ordeal was a good idea at the time.

  “Ok,” Mason said. “So, you think this Skin character is after you because you escaped from the hotel?”

  “We don’t know for sure, we just wanted to get out of Denver in case he sent another group looking for us. Apparently, they had been following us for days. They knew where we had been staying.”

  “Well let’s just steer clear of Denver for the time being,” Mason said.

  “Do you think they’re still following you?” Rachel asked.

  “It’s hard to say,” I said. “We didn’t know they were following us at all until Mits told us.”

  “Mits might have been lying,” Vera said as she lit a cigarette.

  “The other two guys that were initially with Mits said things about Skin.”

  “What happened to them?” Mason asked.

  “Mits killed them.”

  Mason said “Well let’s just hope this Skin character has found someone else to haunt – but, let’s not let our guard down. Let’s keep our eyes peeled and let’s be very cautious of anyone we might run into.”

  I asked “Have you seen anyone else?”

  Mason said “Other than Rachel, we haven’t seen anyone; no one living, no one undead.”

  “We haven’t seen anyone either – except for our friends in Denver. We never made it to the top of the skyscraper like we had planned either. I fell down some steps and broke my wrist.” I showed them my wrapped wrist. “We spent most of the time in a hotel. It hurt too much for me to move it. After I got better, we explored a little bit. There were a lot of dead people in the hospital where we met Mits and there were some dead people at Denver airport. I just can’t figure out where everyone else went.”

  “There has to be more people alive out there,” Rachel said as she lit a cigarette, too. “Survivors, just like us.”

  Mason said “The food supply is dwindling so someone has to be eating it. It’s going to start to get bad with no food. People will kill for it –“

  “Unless we find it first,” Vera said.

  Mason nodded and said “We’ve been talking; Vera Rachel and I. That turkey you’re eating came from an air-tight freezer. I would suspect there are a lot of those kinds of freezers scattered through homes and businesses all over the place. If we could find some of those freezers and get the food out of them before it thaws completely, then we’d be ok – for a while. After that, who knows?”

  Mindy asked “Did you guys make it back to Worley?”

  “Yes, honey, we did,” Mason said. “Our home was burnt to the ground. There was nothing left there for us. Vera agreed to come back and look for you.”

  Mindy offered Vera her condolences.

  “We need some kind of stronghold,” I said. “Somewhere we can really feel secure. I thought we had a good idea by going up into a skyscraper. I’m not saying we should go back to Denver, but – are there any taller buildings here in Billings that we could check
out? Do any of them have restaurants on the top floor?”

  “You’re forgetting one thing, Dan,” Mason told me. “The food in those places is now something you would not want to eat. Anything we eat from here on out has to come from either a can or somewhere air hasn’t touched.”

  “Maybe there are air-tight freezers up there,” I said.

  “Maybe,” Mason agreed, “but what if there isn’t? Then we’d be stuck up there without food if a group of zombies came by.”

  “We could at least look,” I said.

  “Dan, I’d rather not. I’d rather keep it near to ground level, no offense.”

  I smiled. “No problem. It was just a suggestion.”

  “What about vacuum packed?” Mindy asked.

  “Frozen and vacuum packed would be the only way,” Mason said. “That’s why I think it’s important that we go on some air-tight freezer hunts.”

  “What about a food distribution center?” Mindy asked. “You know, a place where local grocery stores get their food from before it’s sold.”

  Mason asked “Do you know where one is around here?”

  Mindy laughed. “No.”

  “Me either,” he smiled. “We might stumble upon one, but until then I vote we all go hunting for iceboxes.”

  “And coats,” Mindy added. “Winter weather gear.”

  He nodded.

  After a good night’s sleep, we had a breakfast of delicious cold smoked turkey. After eating, we went hunting for goods. Mason said that he thought we should check homes for freezers. He figured that if businesses would have them, they would probably all be looted already.

  “You still got your gun, Dan” Mason asked me.

  “No, I dropped it in the tower in Denver when I broke my wrist.”

  “Alright,” he said. “How good are you with a bow?”

  I laughed. “I haven’t shot one since I was in grade school. My dad used to bow fish. He took me out a couple summers. I never got very good at the bow fishing, but I was good at shooting pigeons around my neighborhood.”

  He nodded. “Use this bow.” As he pulled on a tie-down strap that he had worked around the seat of his motorcycle, he pulled a bow and arrow from under the seat. “Took me a while to get it under there, but it fit.”

  “You sure you want to part with this?”

  “I haven’t used it since I jammed it under there. An old friend of mine had a fisherman’s shack – I guess you could call it – a few miles north of us in Worley. He used to stow guns and ammo in there for such an occasion as what the world is going through now. Of course, I used to give him a hard time about it, but it looks like he was right. He had this bow and some arrows and a couple nice fishing knives, too. Give this knife to Mindy. She needs protection, too.” He handed me a sharp red-handled knife in a red sheath. “Don’t let her tell you no, either, Dan. She needs protection too.”

  I agreed. “Yes, I know, Mason. Thank you. I might have to give my wrist a little more time to heal, but I’ll definitely use this bow.” I looked at Mindy. She was standing next to Rachel by her motorcycle. They were talking to each other, smiling. It looked like they had been friends for years. Rachel was showing Mindy a dagger that Mason had given her, too. It had a red handle with a very sharp blade. Rachel neatly put it into a sheath that was tied to the side of her right boot.

  Vera was sitting on her motorcycle, smoking. Her mind seemed far away.

  “Sad thing is, son,” Mason continued, “there are days ahead where we won’t have bullets or guns. We’re going to have to live off the land. You’ll have to learn how to make arrows out of sticks. We’re going to have to use sling shots and maybe even carry clubs. I hate to say it, but we may be reduced back to cavemen.”

  I was intently listening to Mason. He was a lot smarter than he let people know. I began to consider him a father figure. I also liked the way he led us. I asked him “What did you do before all of this?”

  He smiled. “I was a preacher.”

  “Get out of here,” I laughed. “Seriously?”

  “Yes,” he nodded. “We had a small church in Worley; had a small congregation of maybe 20-25 people. Sometimes people would come for miles just to hear me preach. But, I got away from all that. I didn’t like the corruption I would hear about in the big churches. I thought that if the Lord wanted me to preach, then I would do it away from a church. I would do it in nature. But even then it didn’t feel right, so the Lord and I had a little talk and I decided to go my own way for a while.”

  “I understand.”

  “Vera’s been heartbroken ever since we left our little church. That’s the home she wanted to go back to – and the home that was burned to the ground. It was sad for both of us to see it gone – but as they say the Lord works in mysterious ways. He led us to you and here we are.”

  “Yes, here we are.”

  He put his hand on my shoulder. “Dan, you’ve got yourself a good woman there. She talked to Vera and I about what happened in Denver last night after you went to sleep. She told us she dearly loves you.”

  That stung me like a bee. Why did she tell them about Mits raping her? I thought. It’s none of their goddamn business. I thought the two of us had talked it all out! Why bring the shit up again? These people didn’t need to know!

  I said angrily, quietly, “I love her, too…and I’m sorry about what happened.”

  “Don’t be sorry, Dan!” Mason said smiling. “Be her man!”

  I thought I was! And what’s he smiling about? Did he and Vera have a good laugh about it too?

  Mason kept talking to me, but his voice faded away in my head. I was staring at Mindy as she talked, smiled, and laughed with Rachel. What are they talking about over there? I thought, anger swelling. Is she telling Rachel that I’m afraid of little black girls? Is she saying that I didn’t do anything while some lesbian was gnawing on her pussy? Is she telling her that I’m the one who’s the pussy? Is she telling her that she’s the one who had to kill her attacker because her protector was off crying in a corner?

  Angrily, I said loudly, “Mindy!”

  She stopped talking to Rachel. She looked at me with honest openness, but then saw the anger in my face. Rachel was looking at me with a sly crooked smile on her lips.

  “Hey, why don’t you tell the whole fucking world about Denver?” I said furiously. “Why don’t you tell everyone that Mits ate out your cunt while I ran away and hid in the corner and that’s the reason why you had to kill her?”

  Mason dropped his hand off my shoulder. Mindy turned and ran back into the hotel. She was crying loudly. Rachel shot me a dirty look and went in after Mindy.

  I looked at Mason, “So, she told you all about that after I went to sleep, huh? How fucking nice!”

  “No, Dan,” he said hoarsely. “She told us that you asked her to marry you. I told her that I was a preacher and I would be happy to marry you two.”

  My gut dropped like a rock. My whole face flushed. I had to lean back against my motorcycle. I felt faint.

  “Jesus,” I whispered. “I’m a fucking asshole.”

  Mason turned away. He walked over to Vera and put his hand on her leg. Vera looked at him, then at me. She stared for a minute, then lit another cigarette.

  I felt like a total idiot.

  “You better go talk to that girl,” Mason said solemnly.

  I felt so bad for her. I nodded. “Yeah.”

  I went back into the hotel. Rachel was sitting next to Mindy on the couch. Mindy was crying loudly. When Rachel saw me come in, she quickly came over to me. “You’re a dick,” she said.

  “I know.”

  “She was telling me how much you loved each other and that you’re her protector. What kind of protector would treat his woman like that?”

  I held my hand up to her. “You don’t know what happened. You really have no right talking to me like that.”

  “Oh yes I do,” she said. “She was gushing with love for you just two seconds ago, and then you shi
t on her right in front of everyone!”

  “You don’t understand.”

  “You need to apologize to her!” Rachel yelled, pointing at Mindy.

  Mindy was still on the couch. Her face was covered in tears and anger as she watched us fighting over her.

  I walked over to her, knelt on one knee at her side. I took both of her hands in mine. I said “I was wrong for treating you like that in front of everyone, Mindy. I thought you told Mason about what happened with Mits. I took it totally the wrong way.”

  Mindy was shaking her head at me. “I can’t believe you did that to me in front of everyone.”

  “I’m sorry. Please, forgive me.”

  “Now everyone knows that I killed a little girl.”

  “It was in self-defense. You did it so you could live.”

  “Everyone knows what she did to me now.”

  Mason and Vera were standing in the door of the lobby. Everyone was listening to us.

  I squeezed her hands and stood up. I said, “You guys, something happened to us in Denver. I really don’t want to talk to anyone about it right now. Mindy and I need some quiet time if you don’t mind.”

  Mason nodded. “Sure, son. Let’s go outside, everyone.”

  They all went outside to the motorcycles.

  I knelt down in front of Mindy again on one knee. Again I took her hands in mine. I looked her deeply in the eyes and said “Mindy, I apologize. I was an asshole. I apologize for not being your protector in Denver and I apologize for leaving your side. I also want to apologize for yelling at you in front of these people and for thinking that you went behind my back. Mindy, I was wrong. I love you, and I would die without you. Please accept my apology.”

  Mindy looked at our linked hands. She looked up at me. She was crying. “You really hurt me. You don’t trust me. You think I went behind your back and was making fun of you…”

  “It’s my fault, Mindy. I was wrong for thinking that way.”

  “But why would you think I would do such a thing?”