So Twisted

by Melissa Marino

  I knew it was only a matter of time before the bottom fell out, but I thought I’d at least have a say in the situation. Instead, shortly before Delilah’s first birthday, Delilah and I came home from a day at the zoo to find most of Lexie’s personal belongings gone and a note.

  I picked up a folded piece of blue stationery and opened it. At the top was a monogram of her initials in fuchsia lettering. ACM. Alexis Catherine Matthews.

  Aaron,

  I just can’t anymore. You and Delilah deserve better than what I can give. The papers from my lawyer should arrive later this afternoon.

  I will sign over full custody to you.

  I’m sorry.

  Lexie

  She left the note with her engagement ring, which was in a black velvet box in the safe as well. I lifted it out and slowly opened the top. The platinum three-carat round cut ring sparkled against the light, reminding me of when I picked it out. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind at that time that things would go as badly as they did.

  No talk.

  No explanation.

  Nothing.

  It was like Delilah and I meant nothing to her.

  My heart healed, not from love lost because I wasn’t sure that was what Lexie and I had, but from a betrayal so great it changed me on the inside. I’d never know if it was me, Delilah, or both of us that made Lexie so desperate. All I knew for sure was the only time Lexie was truthful was when she wrote that note. The rest of it? All fucking lies.

  I placed the note and marriage certificate back in the envelope, leaving only the divorce decree and a pile of legal documents where Lexie signed away her rights to anything to do with Delilah.

  Anger rose all around me, not as crushing as it once was, but enough to serve its purpose. I shoved all the papers back in the envelope and placed it in the bottom of the safe. The ring was tossed in next to them. Once shut and locked, I returned it to the drawer where it would stay until I needed Delilah’s birth certificate for something or I wanted to give myself any further reminders of what my life was.

  I wasn’t without blame, though. The string of choices I made, the desperate attempts to make Lexie into someone she wasn’t, was all on me. Now, I paid the price with solitude for myself and an existence for Delilah that was full of everything I could give her to make up for the fact that her dad had fucked up, too.

  I needed another drink. I stood and crossed the room to my bookcase. After pulling down on the brass knuckle of the liquor cabinet, I retrieved a crystal whiskey decanter and matching glass. I poured three fingers and brought it to my mouth. The welcome burn again. Two sips in and I knew I’d need something stronger. I closed up the liquor cabinet, took my drink, and made my way to the kitchen. On top of the refrigerator was a brown box of exactly what I needed.

  There was one cupcake left from a playdate Delilah had earlier that day. I opened the top of the Molly’s Cupcakes box and knew I’d made the right decision to set this one aside for me, the Cookie Monster cupcake with vanilla chocolate chip cake and a cookie dough center. Whiskey and cupcakes. My wild, crazy night.

  I knew I would push myself in my workout the following day, but I didn’t care.

  Maybe Abel was right. Maybe there wasn’t anything wrong with having a little sugar from time to time.

  Chapter Five

  CALLIE—

  I looked around my empty room and was overwhelmed with emotions—sadness, uncertainty, and excitement to name a few. Most of my belongings were stacked neatly in the corner, ready for me to put in my car the following afternoon. Evelyn was kind enough to let me leave a few things behind, but aside from some furniture I had no use for while I lived with the Matthews, my life was packed away in a few small boxes and two suitcases. It wasn’t until the night before I left that the full realization of the situation sunk in for me.

  The fact was, I had met Aaron twice, and in those two meetings, I was more turned on by the sight of him than I was during an entire seven-month relationship with my ex-boyfriend, Cody. Cody’s idea of foreplay consisted of a kiss, with his tongue shoved in my mouth, and two boob squeezes. I knew the guy needed work when he went down on me for the first time and looked like a Saint Bernard at a water fountain. However, just being in the same room with Aaron, hearing his voice and watching him move, did something that Cody never could. I didn’t know what it was, but it made my Georgia O’Keeffe respond.

  I knew I should’ve been only thinking about my job at hand, being a nanny, but thoughts of Aaron kept creeping in. No matter what, though, there was no way I was going to risk losing this job. Any funny business, naked or otherwise, couldn’t happen. It was unethical, and furthermore, I knew what a good thing this job was. There was no room for me to mess that up.

  “Come on, Cal,” Evelyn shouted.

  It was my last night with her, and we decided to go old school with our dinner, having our last one together mirror our first—pizza and Coronas.

  I walked out of my bedroom and to the kitchen where she was getting plates and napkins. We dug into the pizza and grabbed a beer, settling down on the floor in the living room.

  We ate and reminisced, remembering some of the funnier moments we shared living together.

  As we continued with stories and memories, I knew there was nothing I wouldn’t do for this girl. I was pretty sure the feeling was mutual.

  “Ugh. Please tell me you’re not bringing those ugly-ass shoes with you. I thought I told you to burn them,” she said while pointing at my feet. She was referring to my beloved pink sparkly Toms I was wearing. They were worn out and completely tattered, but the most comfortable things ever.

  “Listen, Blondie. These,” I commented, holding up my foot, “are one of my favorite things in the world.”

  She sighed. “I’ll have to take them when you aren’t looking.”

  “Don’t you dare!”

  She downed the rest of her beer and stood up. “Next round?”

  “Absolutely.”

  So, we had another. Then another. Then another. By beer number four, we were talking about our most embarrassing and unusual sex-related stories.

  “Oh my God. Do you remember the time you brought that dude you met at Crimson home?” I laughed. “He wore white leather pants with black sneakers. Then the next morning, you found him sniffing through my underwear drawer.”

  Evelyn was doubled over laughing, remembering the infamous Leather Pants Lover of Days Past. “He claimed he was looking for the Bible,” she said, barely being able to get out the words. “I was so traumatized I decided to have a deep, committed relationship with my Rabbit and no men for many months after.”

  Evelyn had talked about her beloved Rabbit vibrator for almost as long as I’d known her—the mind-blowing orgasms, the simultaneous clit/G-spot stimulation, and the overall awesomeness that was the Rabbit. A few months ago, and after reaching the pinnacle of a dry spell, Evelyn convinced me to buy one. So, technically I owned a Rabbit, but it was still neatly packaged in the plastic it was delivered to me in. I was a little scared to use it, truth be told. The enormous green length that resembled something like a large pickle, the deli-size kind, and multiple buttons frightened me. It seemed like so many things could go wrong. What if it short-circuited? Was there a chance of a spark, leading to a small fire? I wasn’t ready for the possibilities. For now, the Love Bunny was packed neatly away in one of my boxes.

  We continued to laugh and drink until it was time to call it a night. I cleaned up after I sent Evelyn off to bed. When I was done, I stood in the quiet apartment and looked around. I’d miss the home I shared with my best friend and all the happy times we had, but that was all I’d miss. I wouldn’t miss busting my ass, working at a bar for almost half of what I would be making with Aaron. I wouldn’t miss the caffeine-induced days in which I drank coffee like a drug addict just to get from morning to night because I was so exhausted. I wouldn’t miss worrying about how to pay for rent and all other expenses I had and still not let Evelyn know how bad
the situation was. I wouldn’t miss working so hard at school and work that I barely had a social life, let alone a man.

  Shutting my eyes to shield myself from all the powerful emotions coming at me, I gave the home and the life that I’d grown to know so well a fond farewell.

  * * *

  I stood in front of Aaron’s home for seven minutes, holding one of my boxes, deciding how I should proceed. I wasn’t sure if I should just let myself in or assume I was still a visitor. I mean, I didn’t even technically live with him yet, and yes, I did understand that move-in day was just that and I would be living there after that, but I didn’t do it yet. It may have seemed completely irrational and stupid to the outside observer, but this was how my brain worked.

  I didn’t need to decide because the door opened and Aaron was standing there, all smiles, to greet me. It was the first day at a new job, and I was incapable of not making an ass of myself.

  “Callie, are you okay? Your face is all red,” Aaron asked, concerned.

  It must have been the mixture of embarrassment and, well, embarrassment. While I stood there continuing to further humiliate myself and unable to talk, I completely disregarded the spots I was seeing and light-headedness.

  I blew out a hard breath as Aaron rushed to my side. “Seriously. Are you okay?”

  I nodded and tried to pull together whatever was left of my dignity. Considering I was probably getting fired, I hoped Venom would still take me back.

  “Are you on any medication?” he asked.

  No, but I should be.

  I shook my head. “No, I’m fine. I was just…you know, the boxes and lifting…and then just got a little light-headed…Fine…I’m fine.”

  “You still don’t look right to me. Here,” he said, taking the box. “Why don’t you come sit down for a minute?” He guided me inside, and sat me down in the chair closest to the door. “Does this happen to you often?”

  “No,” I replied, shaking my head. “I’m fine really.”

  He knelt down in front of me. “Maybe you should put your head between your legs and get some good breaths in. I heard it helps when you feel faint.”

  For your own safety, please do not kneel down in front of me like that unless you want me to knock you down and ride you like a jockey at the Kentucky Derby.

  “I’m so sorry,” I said. “Please don’t think this is a reflection of who I am or that I’m hiding some mysterious fainting illness.”

  “Are you sure?” he asked.

  “Just a little something came over me. I think a case of the nerves.”

  A slow, sexy smile lifted from his mouth. “Whatever do you have to be nervous about?”

  God, he was so beautiful and he didn’t even know it. Even in just jeans and a black V-neck sweater, he looked amazing. The sweater was snug enough that it clung to his tight chest, and the sleeves curved around his biceps muscles.

  “Callie! You’re here! I’ve been waiting so long.” Delilah came running down the hallway and wrapped her arms around my legs.

  “Hey you!” I said, kneeling down to her. She had on a brown corduroy dress and multicolored tights. Her hair was up in two pigtails, complete with Hello Kitty barrettes. “I love your barrettes.”

  “Thank you,” she responded. “Daddy did the tails and barrettes, but my nana bought them for me.”

  “Wow. I love Hello Kitty.”

  “You do?” she asked, her eyes getting big. “I have Hello Kitty stickers and paper and markers. Do you want to see?”

  “Of course,” I said, standing back up.

  Delilah grabbed my hand and tried to drag me to the stairs, but before she got far, Aaron stopped her.

  “Sweetie, let me show Callie around and get her settled first; then I’m sure she would love to see all your Hello Kitty things.”

  Delilah pouted and stomped her foot. “I want to show her now, Daddy. You said she was coming to live here to play with me.”

  “No, I didn’t,” he said. “I told you she was coming here to live with us and help Daddy, not to play with you anytime you say so.”

  “Okay,” Delilah said quietly.

  “You can go watch TV while I talk to Callie and show her to her room.” Aaron leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of her head before she ran off down the hall to the living room.

  He shook his head at me. “I don’t want to even think about the teenage years. Four years old and sassy like a pro.”

  “Well, we learn early,” I said. “It’s how we get so good at it.”

  “Must be in the double X chromosomes. Although her stubborn streak can be attributed to me, or so I’ve been told. Which, by the way, she’ll use to her advantage any chance she gets. I’m sure you’ll see soon enough, but just so you know, you have my permission to not take any shit from her.”

  “I’ll write that down in my notes. Take no shit.”

  “All right then, let me help you with your things.” He bent down to pick up the box he brought in, and I got the perfect view of his ass, all hard and perfect in his jeans.

  “Mmmm,” I moaned softly as I checked him out.

  He had started to head toward the stairs but stopped and turned around when he heard me. “Did you say something?”

  “Mmmmmmarble floor…it’s gorgeous,” I said, motioning toward the floor.

  “Thanks,” he replied awkwardly before turning back around and walking up the stairs.

  Once on the second floor, he entered the first room on the right, stepping to the side as I followed.

  “Are you kidding me with this?” I said.

  The cream-colored room was huge; three of my old bedrooms could have easily fit inside it. There was a king-sized, four-post bed made of light wood, along with a matching nightstand and dresser, that had contrasting deep burgundy-colored bedding on it.

  After I walked in farther, I looked to my left, noticing my own private bathroom, complete with a lavish tub and separate shower.

  “This is beautiful,” I said. “I mean, really.”

  He smiled. “I’m glad you like it. My ex-wife did most of the decorating around here, but like I said, I bought the bedding recently. If you would like something different…”

  “No,” I interrupted. “It’s amazing.”

  “So, you obviously have your own bathroom. Delilah’s bedroom is next to yours, and mine is on the other side of that. Across the hall is the bonus room, which has a lot of Delilah’s toys and such, but it’s so disorganized. It was meant to be a bedroom for another child, but obviously that never happened so it kind of became the free-for-all room.”

  “I can definitely help you fix that up with organizing and such,” I said.

  “Yeah?” he asked. “I mean, that isn’t really part of your job, you know? To clear clutter.”

  “Are you kidding me? I love to do that kind of stuff.”

  “Wow,” he said, pushing his hands into his pockets. “You’re really something else, aren’t you?”

  It wasn’t what he said. It was the tone—quiet and with something else I couldn’t quite put my finger on. It seemed like sadness. It made my heart ache a little, knowing I was coming into a home that had a lot of history, and from what I could gather, not all of it good. I tried searching for answers, looking across his face, but the part I needed to see was turned down. His eyes.

  “Um,” I said. “So, I guess—”

  I stopped talking when his eyes, so blue in color it reminded me of my grammy’s aquamarine ring, stared at me. You don’t realize how seldom someone really looks you in the eyes until it happens. It made my heartbeat race, and heat rise throughout my body. It was that intense, this stare down, which neither of us were retreating from.

  “Daddy,” Delilah shouted from downstairs. “Can I watch Tinker Bell?”

  And like that, the spell was broken.

  He shook his head, clearing whatever it was that he was thinking of. “Yes,” he called back.

  He smiled, the subtle, warm gesture he usually ha
d on returned. “Okay, then.”

  I followed him out of the room and noticed another set of stairs on the opposite side of the hallway. “Is that to a third floor?” I asked.

  “That,” he said, pointing, “is to my favorite part of the house. Come on, let me show you.”

  We walked down the hallway and up a flight of stairs. He typed a code into a keypad next to the door, and when it buzzed, he pushed it open. A gust of cold, early April air hit me, and I knew we were on the balcony I’d admired from the outside.

  Following the similar theme throughout the whole house, the balcony was done in all white. A hot tub was covered with a brown cover, but I recognized the large square shape.

  “You have the most amazing view,” I said. “I can see why this is your favorite part of the house. I would live out here in the summer.”

  He chuckled. “I would, too, but Delilah gets bored easily. Sometimes I’ll drag the little kiddie pool out for her so we can hang out.” He looked around, taking in the view as well. “I want you to be comfortable here, Callie. Nothing is off-limits. Come out here whenever you want. The hot tub, or anything else in the house for that matter, is yours to use. In the winter, the heat lamps and heated tiles are on timers along with the tub, so it’s ready to go whenever anyone wants to use it. I’ll give you the code to get up here.”

  “Well, I’m sure that comes in handy when you are entertaining or having a guest over,” I said, fishing for information. I’d been waiting for the right intro to see what his dating lineup looked like.

  He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t do much entertaining. Usually the only people over are family and a few friends on occasion. Um, I guess I should mention,” he said. He paused and looked down at his shoes. “There’s no woman in my life, and I don’t really date because…well…it’s complicated, and with Delilah, I’d rather not add that into the mix right now. My social life will have to wait until she’s little older.”

  I wanted to feel bad for his predicament. It would’ve been right to, but I didn’t. He was single. He was staying that way, and while I knew nothing would be between us, I was glad I wouldn’t have to see him with anyone else.