The Resurrection of Aubrey Miller

by L. B. Simmons

  “You really want to know?” I mock his stupid head cock and raise my brow.

  Okay, maybe not so terrifying because he counters with some kind of sexy smirk that probably rips the panties off of normal girls. With me, it only manages to get my panties in a wad.

  “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t,” he counters.

  The look in his eyes tells me he won’t be giving up anytime soon, and the fact that he seems so blasé about it all just further peeves me off.

  Fuck it. He asked for it. It’s his funeral.

  “People die around me.”

  The panty-sweltering grin disappears right along with the coloring in his face as his head jerks back.

  “What? What do you mean? Like, you kill them?” He narrows his eyes, assessing me before seemingly drawing his own conclusion. Humor once again settles into his features as he leans toward me and lowers his voice, whispering, “Do you shank people, Raven?”

  I refuse to smile, but a tiny breath of laughter bubbles into my throat and out through my nose. “No, I don’t kill people. Or shank them, idiot.”

  After watching him for a while I release a long breath, the all too familiar morbidity of the conversation suddenly draining my energy. As much as I would like to pretend that I’m like every other normal girl traipsing through the cafeteria at the moment, I’m just not. I never will be.

  I clear my throat and finish my statement with ample warning. “They just tend to meet an untimely death, and if you knew what was good for you, you would cease this random line of questioning or there’s a likely chance that you could drop dead tomorrow.”

  His breath stalls and I can’t help but feel victorious and very self-satisfied with the delivery of my message. That is until he draws a huge breath of air into his lungs and then proceeds to laugh in my face.

  Right. In. My. Face.

  And he continues laughing. So loud, in fact, that he begins to draw very unwelcome attention to our table. Questioning stares are all I see as he slams his hand down on the table repeatedly, bending at the waist, hiccupping as though I just told the most hilarious joke he’s ever heard.

  Literally sinking into my seat, my face heats with embarrassment and I have no choice but to watch his overtly conspicuous reaction, until he finally rises and leans back against his chair, wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes as he reclines.

  “Pheeeeeew,” he draws out breathlessly. “It’s just so funny. I’m sorry.”

  He’s totally not sorry.

  “What’s so funny?” I inquire, finally rising in my seat and cupping my free hand across my forehead, throwing my hair forward in an attempt to just disappear from the humiliation that is this moment.

  Slicing the fork still within my grasp through the mystery meat, I vow to chew and swallow as quickly as possible so that we can just get the hell out of here. Just before it hits my lips, Kaeleb leans forward and points at my plate, stalling my attempt to eat when he says, “That.”

  I raise my eyes from underneath my hand only to see that same craptastic smile crossing his face once again. “What? My plate?” I ask, lowering the fork.

  “No. Not the plate. It’s just…” He breaks to chuckle under his breath, but finally manages to compose himself before continuing. “It’s the fact that you’re so worried about triggering the untimely death of everyone you meet. So much so that you don’t speak to others, rarely make eye contact, and try to make yourself look like a freak. Yet, you eat…meat. And it doesn’t seem to bother you. At all.”

  He unsuccessfully tries to hide his amusement. “I can’t help but laugh. The irony of it all kills me.” His eyes break from the meat, latching onto mine as he adds, “Pun intended.”

  Our stares remain locked and I watch his full lips twitch as he clenches his jaw in an effort to keep a straight face. Narrowing my eyes, I push the plate as far away from me as I can and not so subtly reach over to grab the lone apple from where traitor Quinn is supposed to be sitting. I say absolutely nothing as I take a bite and begin to chew, suddenly missing the mystery meat. There’s no denying I will be starving later, but it’s the price I’ll have to pay, because it’s then and there that I take my oath and pledge my allegiance to vegetarianism, trying to push the newfound guilt of every single hamburger I’ve ever eaten out of my mind.

  A breeze blows by and I catch the scent of sunshine and rainbows as Quinn finally decides to grace us with her presence and join us for dinner. She lands forcefully in her seat, the excitement rolling off of her in waves. Her eyes fall to the table and then to the apple in my hand. Smiling, she shrugs her shoulders, “I ate something over there with Candace and Sabrina. You can have it.”

  Glancing over to the where the emaciated bobble-head twins stand, I find myself met with two very disapproving and unattractive grimaces. I sneer back, partly because I already dislike them immensely, but mostly out of some instinctive need to protect Quinn. They remind me of two grotesque demons, hungry and ready to feed on her love of life and genuine kindness.

  I really need to stop watching so many exorcism documentaries.

  Or maybe I’m just experiencing meat withdrawals already because all I can seem to think about as I watch them is hunger and eating.

  Regardless, I don’t like them.

  Forcing my stare away back to Quinn, I gesture at the empty space on the table in front of her. “You couldn’t have eaten much, considering they also only have like one piece of celery on their plates, and you only had an apple, which I took. Sorry about that.”

  Guilt flashes in her eyes as she timidly shakes her head. “I ate before we came anyway. I’m not really hungry.” A fabricated smile magically appears before she adds, “I just wanted to hang with you and my Boarding Buddy.”

  Just as I’m about to challenge her, because I know for a fact I didn’t see her eat anything before we left together, Kaeleb interjects, “Speaking of Boarding Buddies…where’s yours, Raven?”

  I roll my eyes so hard it hurts. I have no idea why he’s focusing on me so much. This freak getup is supposed to frighten people, not invite inquiry. Unfortunately with him, it seems to be having the opposite effect.

  “I don’t have one,” I remark. “I skipped orientation.”

  “So you need one then?” For once, his face is devoid of any sarcasm or laughter. Sincerity laces his expression as he rests his elbows on the table and leans forward, clasping his hands together in front of him.

  I, however, have sarcasm coursing through my veins instead of blood. “Um, not really. I own a map and possess a brain. I can figure it out on my own.”

  Not even remotely fazed, Kaeleb reaches his hand across the table. “Let me see your schedule.”

  “What? No.” My face scrunches and I shake my head.

  “YES! Do it Raven! We can all tour the campus together and plan out our schedules tomorrow!” Quinn screeches from beside me. Leaning far away, I stick my finger in my ear, wiggling back and forth a bit to try to lessen the pain of my now bleeding eardrum, while giving her a hesitant, wide-eyed stare.

  Kaeleb, of course, just laughs.

  Quinn’s face falls a bit with disappointment, forcing an incomprehensible emotion into my cold, dead heart known by others as caring. Dislodging my finger from my ear, I hold my palm up to her face before responding, “Okay. But, please…don’t scream.” She nods and claps, but makes no sound.

  Scooping the handle of my backpack into my hand, I fling it onto my lap and open the second pocket to produce my schedule before handing it over to Kaeleb. I can feel Quinn as she eagerly bounds up and down next to me and I swear she’s about to explode as she attempts to contain her excitement. Without the release of a scream, I’m actually afraid she might.

  Kaeleb casually peruses the paper and I’m a bit surprised when his eyes widen a fraction once he’s finished. It’s slight, probably not even noticeable to most, but I saw it. He hands the paper back to me and I immediately turn it in my hands to read over it again.


  Peering back at him over the top of the paper in my hands, I ask, “What’s with the face?”

  The corners of his mouth dip down slightly. “What face?”

  “You made a face.” The heels of my hands hit the table as I lower the schedule completely so I can get a better view of him while he stares blankly back at me.

  The standoff lasts a couple of seconds before he relents. “The Elements of Trust course threw me a bit, I guess. I wasn’t planning on knowing anyone in there.”

  Surprised, my head jerks back. “You’re in that class? With me?”

  He raises his hand and cups his jaw, running his fingers back and forth along the base of his stubble as he stares at the table. Once he lifts his head, our eyes meet and he grins.

  “Yet another irony.” He releases a light-hearted laugh. “A trust-based course in which you’re forced to depend on random peers to ensure your safety while attempting death-defying, extremely dangerous activities.”

  Clearing his face, Kaeleb leans across the table and his eyes fill with defiance as he once again drops his voice to a low whisper. “I guess, in essence, one could say that I will have to trust you with my life. Interesting turn of events, don’t you think?”

  Cue annoyingly perfect smile.

  After his point is made he stands quickly, the seat screeching across the floor as he rises and then steps away from the table, leaving me alone with Quinn and the realization that Linda absolutely screwed me when she made me sign up for the stupid course.

  And although I’m rendered speechless, I make sure to mentally document twenty IOUs to the swear jar as I silently curse her in my head.

  The curses against Linda are mounting today, which will be my fifth time attending the Elements of Trust class.

  The classes started off harmless enough. Eye contact exercises, proximity awareness, trust leans as a group, but today…today is no simple task for me.

  Rappelling.

  Are you kidding me?

  And with Kaeleb as my anchor?

  Dr. Palmer has fucking lost his mind.

  Oh, Dr. Martin Palmer. Plump and bearded Palmer. He seems to be genuinely caring as he guides me through the various activities. His kind blue eyes are always watching my interactions with the students, and it almost seems as though he’s monitoring me for some reason. Maybe I’m paranoid, but it feels as if he shows more interest in me than the others.

  Or maybe it’s my freakish appearance that he’s drawn to.

  Or the neon yellow contacts I’ve been sporting this past week.

  Who knows? For whatever reason, it doesn’t really seem to bother me.

  But today, I’m seriously questioning his sanity.

  “Come on, Raven! Open your eyes! You need to see your progress!” Palmer shouts from about five-hundred feet below. Okay, not really. I don’t know how high I am because my eyes are sealed shut and my breathing is panicked as I hesitantly take a step and lower myself down the wall.

  “Yeah, Raven!” Kaeleb yells. “I’m sure you can see the mountains from up there!”

  My voice is shaky as I rappel a little further. “Shut up, Kaeleb.”

  His laughter bellows from below me. “Just wait until we do the Leap of Faith!”

  My body shivers with the thought of standing on a fucking telephone pole and jumping off with nothing other than a cable and the people holding onto that cable to provide me safety. I can’t believe I let Linda talk me into this shit.

  “Am I almost done?” I ask, sliding the rope between my hands and pushing off. I think I just flew down about ten feet.

  My feet land hard, sending me spinning, and I don’t stop until my body bounces off the wall. All with my eyes still closed.

  “Not even close! I’m surprised you can even breathe with how thin the air is up there!” Kaeleb’s mocking tone furthers my aggravation.

  After taking a deep breath—thankfully, the air is just fine—I push off again, unsteady with jerky movements. “Shut. Up.”

  And just when I think Kaeleb can’t possibly irritate me further…

  “That harness is giving me a great view of your ass by the way. Your cargos are usually way too baggy.”

  A loud gasp escapes me and I quickly let go of the rope to cover said ass with my hands, the release catapulting me further down the wall until I’m practically upside down, all the while subjected to heinous cackling from below. At least Kaeleb somehow managed to stop my freefall during his fit of laughter.

  “Kaeleb, enough,” Palmer reprimands. “Raven, you’re going to have to open your eyes and right your body. You can do this.”

  With his tone full of encouragement, I try to grab whatever shred of dignity I still have and pull myself upright with the help of the rope. Once I’m set, I lean back and rest my weight in the harness as I try to catch my breath.

  My legs are straight against the wall as I allow my torso to gingerly recline and my eyes to open slowly. The view isn’t of mountains, but I can see the tops of the trees and the people walking through the courtyard area aren’t nearly as small as I imagined they would be.

  I breathe in deeply.

  I can do this.

  Kaeleb manages to finally stop his theatrics long enough for me to get my bearings, then I give the rope a little slack and kick my feet off the wall. My hands are shaking, but I keep a firm grip as I sail downward a bit and then land firmly. I repeat these motions until I’m about ten feet off the ground.

  Blood is rushing through my veins, the adrenaline coursing through me, and for about five seconds I feel like I can do anything.

  That is until Kaeleb completely drops his very important anchor role, releasing the rope and throwing me into another freefall. An unexpected squeal escapes me as I plummet the remainder of the way down, only to land in his arms with an oomph.

  His scent stirs all around me, and as my arms fly around his neck, I find myself inhaling deeper than probably appropriate. And when my lungs can take no more air, I enjoy its soothing effect until I remember that I’m pissed.

  He could have killed me.

  And now I’m going to kill him.

  “Kaeleb! Asshole!” I yell, jumping out of his arms and planting my feet hit on the ground. I haul my arms back and shove as hard as I can. “You could have dropped me!”

  His shoulders shake with his silent chuckles. “No way. I’m 6’3.” That was like a two foot drop.”

  Palmer watches our interaction with interest. I swear I spot the tiniest of amusement flash across his features as he states, “Something tells me that Kaeleb would never drop you, Raven.” He directs his eyes in Kaeleb’s direction; all amusement lost and replaced with caution. “That being said, your actions were not at all conducive for this exercise.” Palmer looks back to me before adding, “I hope that your maturity level is greater than that of Mr. McMadden’s, seeing as though it’s his turn next. We need to maintain a serious environment for the others who actually hope to gain something from this class.” His voice is stern along with his glare.

  What? Now I’m in trouble?

  Sneering at Kaeleb, I respond, “Yes, sir.” Palmer gives a brisk nod before marching onto the next pairing of people.

  “You’re an ass,” I snip at him, yanking the harness off of my waist and down my legs before stepping out of it.

  “I never said I wasn’t.” He kicks the nylon contraption up and off the ground with his foot, then catches it midair with ease. “I’m sorry, but that shit too was funny not to pass up."

  My face draws tightly and my eyes narrow at his statement. “And what if you’d dropped me?”

  His arrogance lessens and his hazel eyes soften. “I wouldn’t have dropped you.” He maintains eye contact with me and his stare is so full of sincerity, I’m forced to break it.

  My cheeks warm as I cast my glance to the ground, kicking the grass with my Docs.

  “Well, at least you didn’t grope my ass,” I concede before looking back up. His lips form into a crooked smile and he
chuckles under his breath. “Who said I didn’t?”

  “I would’ve felt it,” I counter.

  He shakes his head as his eyes fill with humor. “I have ninja hands.” He breaks to step into the harness and pulls it up, securing it before adding, “And you have a nice ass.”

  My mouth pops open, but before I can say anything he steps into my personal space—the very space he knows I hate anyone to breach as evidenced during our proximity awareness exercises—and holds my gaping stare.

  “There was no way I was letting you go.” He pauses briefly and his eyes tighten as they peer into mine. “Our bonds were secured.”

  My eyebrows pinch together in confusion with the intensity of his statement, but then his face softens into a light grin as he holds the rope in front of my face and adds, “These ties can’t be broken.”

  Kaeleb gives me a wink and then turns on his heel, away from me and heads toward the stairs along the side of the wall. Before he takes the first step, he twists his body back around and shouts, “Try to focus on keeping me alive and not the magnificence of my ass!”

  I flip him the bird and another loud cackle fills the air before he makes his way to the top of the wall. Once he’s securely harnessed in, he flies backwards without abandon and rappels masterfully down the side, with absolutely no help from me.

  And it’s a good thing.

  Because Mr. McMadden does, in fact, have a magnificent derrière.

  Not that I was looking.

  Over the next month, Quinn and Kaeleb make it their personal mission to try and break through my painfully obvious attempts at obscurity. It’s been non-stop. Kaeleb’s questioning especially.

  Sigh.

  Kaeleb.

  Much to my relief, after several more inquiry-filled classes in trust education, he’s still very much alive, but honestly, some days I really want to kill him—metaphorically speaking, of course.

  It’s usually when we perform the trust fall exercise, which we’re forced to do during every single class. Not once has he performed this exercise without making an asinine comment—normally referencing some random way he could die if I drop him—prior to falling backwards into my arms.