“I’ll have the chicken pasta, with a Caesar salad as well,” she said and Tynesha wrote it down then took both of our menus away.
“Your name is Jah?” Antonia asked me once Tynesha had walked away.
“It’s Jahiem, but everybody calls me Jah,” I told her and she nodded her head.
We sat in silence for the rest of the time, and a few minutes later, our food came. I watched how Antonia ate her food fast as hell, throwing all of that shyness out of the window. It was funny as hell to me because she was little as hell, but she was tearing that food up like a person who weighed about two hundred pounds. I ate my food in silence as I watched her quickly eat hers. When we were both finished, Tynesha came and took our plates.
“You full?” I asked Antonia and she nodded her head. I didn’t even wait for Tynesha to come back with the check, I just set a hundred-dollar bill on the table, and the two of us got up and made our way to the car.
When I jumped on the highway, I looked over at Antonia and noticed that her ass was in the passenger seat knocked out. I remembered the apartments that she stayed in and I drove the rest of the way with the radio on low. Ten minutes later, we pulled up and I parked the car in the middle of the parking lot. I shook her shoulder and immediately her eyes popped open. She looked around and wiped the slob that had fallen from her face.
“We’re here already?” she asked me and I nodded my head.
She reached in the back and grabbed her bag from Walmart. She opened the door and I turned the car off and opened mine as well.
“You don’t have to walk me up. It’s okay,” she turned around and said. I paid her no mind and kept walking.
“No, seriously, you don’t have to. If someone sees me with you, they’ll tell my aunt and I’ll get in trouble,” she said, putting her hand on my chest and stopping me.
I looked down at her and I could tell that she was scared, I mean she was shaking and all. It’s like she had this fear in her of the things that her aunt might do to her once she found out.
“Let me ask you something,” I said to her. It had been on my mind since I had grabbed her arms earlier tonight when we were in the parking lot at Walmart. “Do your aunt be beating you?” I asked.
When I grabbed her up earlier, the fear in her eyes was of someone who was getting their ass beat on a daily basis, that’s why I had to let her go.
“I mean, she doesn’t do anything to me that she feels like I don’t deserve. Thank you for dinner, Jahiem. I’ll see you around,” she said and quickly jogged off.
I watched her until she disappeared, and then I got back in my car. She didn’t pretty much come right out and answer my question, but I’m pretty sure the answer to my question was a yes.
Chapter 5: Antonia
It was Monday morning and for the first time in years, I wasn’t awakened to water thrown at me or some loud as yelling. Since my aunt wasn’t there, I had to get myself up this morning. I could have easily stayed home and she wouldn’t know whether I had gone to school or not, but I just wasn’t that type of person. I took my education very serious, and I wasn’t about to just sit up in the house all day and do nothing.
After taking my shower and everything, I pulled my hair up into a pony tail. I had managed to keep it straight for the most part, and I’m sure Tacarra would be happy to see that when she saw me today at school.
I finished getting dressed, and once I had my work uniform in my backpack, I was out the door. I walked to school, thinking about the little date that I had the other night with Jahiem. I liked him, but he was way out of my league. The waitress at Red Lobster the other night was beautiful and she was a grown woman, so I couldn’t see what would make him be attracted to a little girl like me.
I could tell that he wanted to know bits and pieces of my life, but I wasn’t ready to indulge in that conversation just yet. He completely caught me off guard when he asked me if I was getting beat at home. I don’t know how the hell he was able to assume that, but I was glad that I answered it the way that I did.
I finally made it into the school building, and like always, I made my way to the cafeteria so that I could get my free breakfast. I didn’t see Tacarra anywhere around, so I went and sat toward the back of the cafeteria by myself. As soon as I started to eat, the first bell rang, so I had to eat the French toast that was in front of me fast as hell. I made it to my first period, which was Advanced Placement English right before the late bell rang. I took my seat in the front of the classroom and waited for class to begin. Out of all of my classes, this one right here was my favorite. I loved writing, and Lord knows with this class we had a damn paper due at least once a week, but I loved every second of it.
“Good morning, class. Today, we are going to finish discussing our topic from last class. Remember, we were on the topic about love,” our teacher, Mrs. Williams said as she stood in front of the classroom.
Mrs. Williams was a pretty, dark skinned lady and she always kept her hair in this natural fro. She was a very smart woman, and I learned a lot by coming to her classroom. But the topic that she had us talking about, I didn’t really know what that meant to me.
“Who wants to give me an example of what love is?” she asked and a few students raised their hands.
“Okay, Christina, go ahead,” she said.
“An example of love would be something that’s unconditional. Meaning, you can’t just stop loving someone for something wrong that they did to you because love doesn’t work like that. If you love that person like you say you do, then it will be an everlasting thing,” Christina said.
“Perfect example. Would anyone else like to share what love means to them?” Mrs. Williams asked. She picked on a student named Lewis, who sat in the back of the classroom.
“Love to me is when I’m playing a basketball game every Friday night, and I look in the crowd and I see my parents in the stands cheering me on. When I see that they are wearing shirts with my number on it and how proud they are of me when we win a game, that’s love. Love is coming home from school and later on that night, being surrounded by my family and we tell each other about our day. That’s what love is to me,” Lewis said.
“Another perfect example. What about you, Ms. Taylor. What does love mean to you?” Mrs. Williams asked as she sat on top of her desk that faced the classroom.
Wow, what the hell did love mean to me? Everybody else was giving out beautiful examples, but I didn’t have one to give.
“I really don’t know what love would mean to me,” I said, honestly.
“Aww, come on, Ms. Taylor. I’m pretty sure you have had some encounters in your life where you could share to the classroom what you think love is,” Ms. Williams said. I wasn’t trying to be difficult at all, but I just had no cute stories to tell.
“I can’t share something to the class that I’m not receiving because then I’d be a liar,” I confessed.
The smile she wore was quickly wiped away from her face. For the remainder of the class, she went around asking people what love meant to them, and in closing, we were asked to write a paper on love. Like really break the word down and explain to her and give examples, which we would have to turn in on Friday. When the bell rang, she dismissed us and we all packed up our bags.
“Wait, Ms. Taylor. Let me have a word with you,” she said.
I fixed my book bag on my shoulders and came over to her desk. Once everybody was out of the classroom, she gave me her undivided attention.
“How come you couldn’t think of just one scenario to share with the class today, Antonia? You’re normally the one student in my class who participates the most. What’s going on?” she asked me. I could detect the concern in her voice.
“Everything is okay with me. Let’s just say that I’m not surrounded by love like the majority of your students are. The only time I ever hear positive things about me is here, when I come to school. I wasn’t trying to be difficult, but like I said, I can’t share something that I’m not receiving
on the regular. But don’t worry, I’m pretty sure between now and Friday, I can probably come up with a time where I experienced love. Hey, it might be right now. You just took the time out to see was everything okay with me. If you ask me, that’s love right there,” I said then turned and walked out of the classroom so that I wouldn’t be late for my next class.
For the remainder of the day, things pretty much went by pretty smooth and fast. I ended up sitting by myself at lunch as well because I couldn’t find Tacarra. At first, I thought maybe she just didn’t come to school, but then I saw her after school in the parking lot, walking toward her car.
“Hey, Tacarra, wait up,” I said, walking fast to catch up to her.
She turned around with this annoyed look on her face and looked me up and down.
“I didn’t see you all day today. Where were you?” I asked her.
“I was with my other friends,” she said.
I didn’t pay it any attention because she was right; those were her other friends, not mine, so I didn’t take any offense to it.
“Okay. Guess where I went this weekend after I left your house?” I asked with a smile plastered on my face.
Tacarra was always telling me stories about her encounters with boys, but I never had any stories to share because at the time, I wasn’t into boys like that. Hell, I wasn’t even into a boy, I was into a man. A fine ass man at that.
“Where? To the damn library?” she asked, trying to be funny.
“Well, I actually was there in the morning. But I went out to dinner with Jahiem. I don’t know if you know him, but everybody calls him, Jah,” I said, excitedly.
“Jah, with all of the tattoos and the gold teeth? The one with the hazel eyes?” she asked me, describing him to the T.
“Yes, him,” I told her.
“Wow, you’re even more stupid than I thought you were! Girl, that man doesn’t want anything that your little ass has to offer, plus he’s the biggest hoe out here. That man is about twenty-three years old, and you’re still a damn minor,” Tacarra said, telling me how she really felt.
The smile I wore was quickly wiped away when she finished telling me that.
“It isn’t like I’m his girlfriend or anything. He just took me out to dinner,” I told her.
“Whatever, Antonia. You are so fuckin’ gullible,” she said and turned to walk away, but I stopped her.
“Hey, I was wondering if you could take me to work. It looks like it’s about to rain, and I still have to stand there and wait for the bus,” I asked her, hoping that she would say yes.
“No, because I have somewhere to go. My family is at home waiting on me and we’re going to go have dinner tonight. Ask Jahiem to take you,” she said and turned around.
Wow! I never knew that she could be so damn hateful. I wasn’t even pressed about the whole part that she said about Jahiem, it was the whole family part that she said, throwing it in my face. She knew how I craved to have a family like the one she had, and she used that comment to her advantage. I watched as she got in her car and then she sped out of the parking lot.
I walked over to the bus stop, and I wasn’t even standing there for a good five minutes before it started to pour down raining. I didn’t have an umbrella or nothing, so I used my book bag to cover my head as I waited for the bus to come and take me to work.
Chapter 6: Tacarra Scott
You know the feeling you get when you just grow apart from somebody? Well, that’s how I felt about Antonia’s ass. That bitch was too needy, and she was becoming way too annoying for me. It had gotten to the point where I didn’t even want to be around her anymore because every time I saw her, it was the same old thing. I was tired of hearing the same old stories about how her auntie was beating her ass every damn day.
At first, I used to feel sorry about the shit that Antonia would have to go through at home, but now I feel like her annoying ass deserves it. I was eighteen years old, and appearance to me was everything. I made sure every morning when I came to school, my hygiene was up to par and I made sure that I had on a clean uniform. Some days, Antonia would come to school looking like she had just rolled her ass out of bed, and her hair always looked a hot ass mess.
The other day when she came over to my house, I wanted to ask her to leave so bad. I knew that my mother would question me on what happened, and I didn’t feel like having that conversation with my mom, so I just let Antonia stay. When I offered to do her hair for her, I wasn’t doing it out of the goodness of my heart, but I was doing it because I was sick and tired of her wearing the same ponytail that she had been wearing for the past three damn years.
Antonia and I had pretty much known each other since we were in the first grade, and we used to be the best of friends. But when we got in middle school, things just changed. In middle school, I had begun to be into boys and wearing lip gloss and stuff like that, but Antonia wasn’t into any of that shit. It got worse in high school. This was the time where you’re surrounded by all of these cliques and you would want to do anything to fit in. Now that we were seniors in high school, I felt like certain shit had to change, including the people that I hung out with. I was giving Antonia way too many signs that I didn’t want to be friends with her anymore but no matter how hateful I was toward her, she just kept on coming back for more.
I swear, I wanted to knock some sense into her dumb ass when she confessed to me that she had went out to eat with Jahiem. That nigga was one of the finest men to ever grace this planet, and she expects me to believe that all she did was go to dinner with him. Antonia is sneaky as hell, and I’m pretty sure that her virgin ass must have popped those legs open for him because wasn’t shit in life free, with her dumb ass.
When I drove past her at the bus stop while it was thundering and lightning, I didn’t feel any sympathy for her as I watched her get soaking wet. I lied about having to go home so that I could have dinner with my family, I just didn’t want to be around her ass today. As I was driving toward my house, my phone started ringing. I looked down at the screen and I noticed that it was Patrice calling me. Patrice was one of the girls that I was sitting with that morning when Antonia brought her ass to the table with all of those stains on her shirt.
“Hey boo,” I answered.
“Hey, girl. What are you doing?” she asked me.
“Nothing, on the way home,” I told her.
“Okay, I have Kelsey and Meccah with me. You mind if we come over and look at prom dresses together?” Patrice asked.
Even though prom wasn’t until May, we had to plan this shit ahead of time so that we could be the baddest bitches at the prom.
“Yeah, you can come. I’ll be home in about five minutes,” I said and then we ended the phone call.
When I made it home, I noticed that my parents hadn’t made it home from work yet. I used my umbrella to help me get into the house and I unlocked the front door with my key, leaving the umbrella to sit on the couch. I went to my room, making sure that it was clean before my friends came over. Once everything was up to par, there was a knock at the door and I went and opened it up for them. All three of them came inside, holding their Mac laptops in their hands. We went in my bedroom and I closed the door behind us.
“Thank God. I thought you had that Antonia bitch in here with you,” Meccah said, taking a seat on my bed.
Meccah was a cool chick and she was older than all of us. She was nineteen and in the 12th grade because she had failed the 5th grade. She was a pretty, light skinned chick, and she had the body of a grown woman. I knew that for my age, I had a lot of ass, but Meccah was built like buffy the body. Whenever we went out, dudes would always try to talk to her.
“She tried to get me to take her to work, but I lied and said that I had dinner with my family,” I said and everybody laughed.
“Why do you hang with that girl, man? She just so fuckin’ dirty to me. And then she always bringing her ass to school with all of them damn bruises like Ike Turner is her daddy or some shit,
” Patrice said, causing all of us to laugh at the comparison that she had made.
“I be giving off vibes, basically letting her know that I don’t want to fuck with her, but clearly the little bitch can’t read between the lines. And then not to mention, she’s so fuckin’ dumb. Do y’all know who she said she went to dinner with this weekend?” I asked them.
All the girls looked at me with wide eyes, pleading for me to tell them who I was talking about.
“Girl, Jah,” I told them.
“That’s a damn lie because Jah only fucks with bitches his age or older. He probably still fuckin’ around with my older sister, Tynesha, too,” Meccah said.
I had completely forgot that she told me her sister who works at Red Lobster was talking to Jah.
“That bitch is just so damn dumb to me, and every time she comes around me, I just get mad. It’s like, bitch you are seventeen years old! Nobody should have to tell you to put on clean clothes when you come to school. And then she is so dirty too. She was over here this weekend, and after she left, I went in the bathroom and noticed that her thieving ass had stolen my last damn pad. Who the fuck does that?” I asked, causing everybody in the room to laugh.
I saw my room door open and I looked up and noticed that my mother was standing there and she didn’t look pleased at all. She had a scowl on her face, and I wondered if she had heard our entire conversation.
“Hey ladies, Tacarra has some things around the house that she needs to finish doing. You all can come back over this weekend,” my mom said, standing in the doorway.
I watched as my friends gathered up their belongings, waved bye to me, and they were out the door. My mom stood there and watched them leave, and then she turned her attention to me once she had heard the front door close.
“Do you think that’s fuckin’ funny, Tacarra?” my mom asked me. Clearly, she had heard our entire conversation. I didn’t even hear her when she had come into the house.
Little Miami Girl: Antonia and Jahiem's Love Story Page 4