Soulmated

by Shaila Patel

  The sound of crunching grass came closer, and my traitorous heart stuttered. I squinted up at Liam, marveling at how gorgeous he was, even dirty and sweaty. He handed me a bottle of ice-cold water. The condensation dripped down my arm.

  “Thank you.” I propped myself up on my elbow and held the cold bottle against my face and neck.

  His gaze roamed over my body, and he cleared his throat. “Any time.” He joined me, leaning on his hand, which he placed on the other side of my hip. I sat up, hoping not to choke on my water because of how close he was.

  God, I hope I don’t stink.

  His fingers traced a path from under my jaw to the middle of my collarbone. I froze. But his finger didn’t stop. He was at the top of my cleavage, nudging a finger between the swell of my breasts. He stroked upward, brought his other hand over, and cupped his hands together. His breathing went all haywire like mine.

  He opened his cupped hands, and two ladybugs crawled around inside.

  My eyes jumped from my little intruders to his eyes and back. “You could’ve just told me.” I smiled.

  “And miss the opportunity to be touching you?” He shook his hand out away from us, releasing my little perverted friends.

  “Aww. Were you jealous?”

  “I was about to rip their little wings off.”

  I gasped and giggled. “You wouldn’t.”

  “I’ll not be that generous again.”

  I laughed again, wishing I could freeze this moment. “The rest of the insect world be warned.”

  “They need to know.” He leaned in, his lips brushing my ear. “You’re mine, and I was always poor at sharing. Just ask the cousins.”

  Feeling his breath on my skin, my eyes fluttered closed. He chuckled. Ugh. So he’s enjoying this, is he? Well, two can play that game.

  I touched the neckline of his T-shirt and meandered downward, knowing full well I didn’t have the guts to touch him as intimately as he’d touched me, but he didn’t need to know that.

  He watched my progress with an eyebrow raised.

  I gave him an innocent smile. “So being yours means you can touch me with impunity? I guess it’s only fair I get to too, you know.” I kept my eyes locked on his, and when I passed his belly button, his already flat stomach tightened. He swallowed and I had to stop myself from giggling. My finger touched the button of his shorts, and he grabbed my wrist to stop me. I kissed his cheek by his ear and lowered my voice. “You shouldn’t play with fire unless you know how to put it out.” I felt a surge of empowerment at being confident enough to flirt with him. It was nice.

  He turned his head so our eyes met.

  “And I hear a cold shower is really good for that.” I let my eyes dart downward between us.

  A twitch of his lips was all the warning I needed before he tickled me, kissed me, or did whatever he had planned. I flung myself onto my back and rolled away. His puppy-dog eyes made me burst into laughter. “Sorry, I’ve got to shower.” I stood and walked backward toward my house.

  He collapsed onto his back and groaned. “You’re killing me.”

  “You’ll survive, if the insects don’t gang up on you first.”

  He leaned up on his elbows. “Don’t make me wait too long.”

  I paused for a moment, puzzled—not at the double meaning behind what he’d said, but at the strange sense of vulnerability I was feeling. Odd, because my mind was telling me it was coming from Liam, like at lunch by the bench the other day. It was as if a strong wind was going to rip away a tree’s foliage, exposing a nest of baby birds. I rubbed at my forehead. Not again.

  Liam bolted upright and cocked his head, but then his face fell.

  Okay. “I’ll try not to.” I gave him a tight smile and jogged home.

  I finished drying off and dressed in white, cuffed shorts and a sheer, Caribbean-blue top with a lacy camisole underneath. The color reminded me of the ocean—and of Liam.

  My instincts told me he was being honest, but I still didn’t know if I could trust myself. How long would I have to wait for him to tell me the secret? I couldn’t survive being in limbo for long.

  A week. I’d give him a week.

  I called Mom preemptively, telling her I was still working on Mrs. Robertson’s garden. She warned me to stay hydrated and ended the call with her usual nagging about getting homework done.

  Now I could go back to Liam. I caved to the excitement and ran out to meet him.

  My blood was pounding by the time I got there. He’d showered too and stood at the grill with his back to me. His khaki cargo shorts and gray T-shirt hugged his body in all the right places, making me envy his clothes. I wondered why, with all the leggy, busty blonds he could drape over his arm, he wanted an Indian girl like me. He turned and his gaze moved over me, top to bottom and back again. He watched me walk toward him, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

  I stopped right under his nose, barely able to catch my breath. He lifted his hand to my face and hesitated. I had to do a better job of keeping my distance, but for now, I smiled. Were my hormones that much stronger than I was? Why did all my common sense jump out the window at the promise of one touch from him? The more time I spent with him, the worse it got.

  Yes. One week. No more.

  He gently stroked my cheek with his thumb. His hand felt warmer than the humid air around me.

  “Fine as a summer day,” he whispered. “You leave me overwhelmed.”

  “I know the feeling.” I traced the muscle ridges on his arm with my fingertip. The charge thrummed through my entire body. I wondered why some times were more intense than others.

  He took my hand. “C’mon, sit. Everything’s near done.”

  He’d rearranged the patio furniture, moving the lounge chairs to the back edge, facing the house and grill. I sat crossed-legged on one of them, leaning back on my hands. The sun was low, and it washed our backyards in light. The foliage had a lime-green brightness, and the heat seemed to radiate up through the earth. I heard a camera shutter click and turned to Liam, who slipped his phone in his back pocket.

  “Liam!”

  He smiled and shrugged. I wished I could keep pictures of him. We’d taken several together at lunch on Saturday, but they were all on his phone, where they’d probably stay. He plated the last of the hot dogs at the table and sauntered over.

  He straddled the lounge chair in front of me, smelling like the air after a rainstorm, but warmed by the grill’s heat. I couldn’t help the grin overtaking my face. He responded in kind, but then his expression became serious. “I keep breaking my promise to let you have your space. If you want to cool things off, I should be honoring your wishes. Stay away, see you only in class, yeah?”

  My heart slammed into my chest. I needed to cool things off, sure, but I didn’t want to. A strange awareness settled into my mind as if a strong wind was pushing us apart.

  “No, Liam. No. I–I mean, I should … b–but no, I don’t want you to leave me.” Dread built up. Something was constricting my lungs, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t take a deep breath. Was this a panic attack? Tears filled my eyes, clouding my view of him.

  “Lucky!” He cupped my face. “Hey, relax. I’m not leaving. I thought if I was making it harder for you—”

  “But I–I felt it. You were pushing me away. God, what’s wrong with me?”

  He pulled me into his arms. “Nothing’s wrong with you, Lucks. You’re perfect.”

  I let out an unladylike huff.

  “Jaysus, you’re trembling,” he whispered. “I was preparing myself to be … well, noble, if I could. I’ll not be going anywhere if you don’t want me to.”

  The tingling eventually relaxed my lungs, and air filled them again, nudging the despair out of the way.

  “Well, stop preparing yourself,” I whispered. “I don’t want you to leave.”

  There. I’d admitted it. I didn’t understand what had come over me, but at least I
knew something with more certainty. Now what?

  He rocked me in his arms, soothing and distracting me with words that soon made me giggle. When I was finally in control of myself, we made our way to the table to eat. Liam asked me about my extended family, but since ours was so small, there wasn’t much to tell. Mom had tons of first and second cousins, but they were all in India. I hardly ever saw them. And as for Dad’s side, I was the last in his line.

  Near the end of our meal, I pushed the peas around the plate as I thought about the panic attack. Whatever it was, it felt like I’d tapped into a different part of my brain—a part that punched the rest of me in the gut.

  “You, um … look … troubled,” Liam said.

  “I don’t know what happened. I mean before, with my little breakdown. I flipped out on you, didn’t I?” Hallucinating and now this? I put my fork down and sat back. “I’m so sorry. I–I don’t even know—”

  “You got scared. That’s all.”

  “It was more than that, Liam. I don’t have panic attacks, or whatever that was. I’m different when I’m around you. Why? And please don’t say it’s the secret.” If I hadn’t thought it was related to Liam somehow, I never would’ve brought it up. I didn’t want my maybe-future-boyfriend to think I was certifiable.

  Creases appeared on his forehead, and the accompanying tiny smile made me believe he was happy, but worried.

  He put down his hot dog and reached for my hand. “Think of it like putting together a puzzle without seeing the picture on the box. Until certain pieces were in place, you wouldn’t see the picture even if I’d told you, yeah?”

  In other words, this was also part of the secret. I sighed. Of course it was.

  He laced our fingers together and kissed the back of my hand. “Lucky, is that all you’re waiting on? To hear the secret?” His eyes were so hopeful. It tugged at my heart.

  “It’s hard to have faith when you’re in the dark.”

  He studied me for a moment, and then finished the last bite of his hot dog. He swallowed in a hurry, washing it down with water. “Okay.” He clapped and rubbed his hands together. “I want you to trust me, so I’ll tell you everything I can, yeah? I never dated any of the others for longer than three months, and my intentions were always honorable. None of them were conquests. I never tried to sleep with any of them, and even though I never felt about them the way I do about you, I always treated them the best I could, with respect at the very least.”

  I rested my elbow on the arm of my chair and put my chin in my hand. His eyes were so soft and sincere. I believed him about being respectful. It seemed as natural to him as breathing. He was chivalrous too—carrying my books, making a path for me in a crowd, or even helping Mrs. Robertson for me. It was all knight-in-shining-armor kind of stuff. I couldn’t think of an Indian equivalent to knights, but then I remembered the story of Rama saving Sita from her demon kidnapper. Liam could be my knight and my Rama.

  He told me more about each of the girls. The one he’d dated in ninth grade, Nisha, he’d only dated for a week. What if he lost interest in me that quickly? I almost snorted. Wasn’t I only giving him a week?

  We finished cleaning and made our way back to the lounge chairs. He moved my outstretched legs over his lap and caressed my thighs. I was in heaven. This had to be what an addiction felt like.

  The angle of the sun created an ethereal glow in his backyard that made his eyes luminescent. Something divine in the way he gazed at me made my ability to reason flee, leaving only the faith I didn’t realize I had.

  His eyes reminded of the dream I’d woken up from on the first day of school. Chills skittered up my face from the memory. I’d been floating in a vibrant blue sky, falling toward the Earth, excited to be reaching my destination. With each exhale, my lungs created the atmosphere, hugging the Earth below. I’d needed nothing more to hold in my arms in the dream, and I felt that way now—about Liam. The realization made me dizzy.

  With his every touch, every exhale, I was falling deeper, and it scared the crap out of me.

  “What is it?” he asked me.

  I threw my arms around Liam, wrapping around him like the sky would the earth. My need for him overwhelmed me. I cleared my throat. “Nothing important. I just remembered a dream.”

  Liam pulled back to stroke my cheek. He seemed to search my eyes for something and then brought his lips to mine for a kiss. “I need you too,” he whispered.

  My heart felt like it had been cracked open.

  His kiss was even better than I remembered. With every stroke of his tongue, the sparks exploded in my mouth like Pop Rocks, the candy Shiney and I devoured on sleepovers. Who knew kissing could feel like this?

  We soon made up for a whole afternoon’s worth of kisses, stopping only to catch our breath. It let me calm the intense tingling too, but I wouldn’t bring that up. I was sure he’d bolt if he knew just how foolish I’d become. He lifted me into his lap, and I clung to his neck, giddy and smiling.

  “You feel bloody incredible,” he said. His lips were all red and puffy.

  I leaned my forehead against his and smiled. “So do you.”

  Liam moved in to kiss me again, but froze, his face falling. “Holy shite,” he said.

  He turned around, and in the doorway to the patio stood his dad.

  CHAPTER 25

  Liam

  “I knew it!” Da bellowed from the doorway. He didn’t bother blocking his curiosity nor his anger.

  Bloody feckin’ hell.

  Lucky bolted off my lap. Waves of her embarrassment crashed into me, no doubt because we’d been caught with our lips locked. She wouldn’t have wanted that to be Da’s first impression of her.

  Her gaze darted back and forth from Da to me. Once she found out I hadn’t told him about her, she’d think the worst. I’d be ruining all the trust I’d regained today.

  I jumped up and held her face, blocking her view of Da. “Lucky, don’t be cross with me just yet.”

  She nodded, and I rushed over to Da to be heading him off. I needed to explain things to Lucky first.

  “You must be the new girl,” Da called out over my shoulder.

  “Da,” I whispered. “We’re not needing this now. Can we talk inside in a minute, yeah?”

  “No,” he half-growled under his breath. “I’ve a right to meet her, especially now that I know you’ve been keeping things from me.” He’d lowered his voice, but I feared Lucky could still hear him.

  Mum made an appearance in the doorway. She gave Da an apologetic smile and tugged on his arm. “Come away, Patrick.”

  He shook his head and pushed past me toward Lucky. “Hello, I’m Liam’s father, Patrick. It’s lovely to actually meet you.” He reached out his hand to shake hers.

  A hesitant smile crept onto her face, and ripples of her confusion and curiosity nipped at me. She glanced at me with a questioning look, so I nodded to say everything was all right. As pissed off as Da was, he’d be nothing but kind to her.

  “N–Nice to meet you too, Mr. Whelan. I’m Laxshmi.” She gifted him with a smile too sweet for what he deserved for buttin’ in.

  “Well now,” Da said. “It’s a shame I know nothing about you. You seem utterly charming.” He leaned over and kissed the back of her hand, giving me the side-eye.

  She blushed. “Thank you.”

  “Da!” I yanked his hand off hers and stood between them. “I need to talk to you inside if you will.” I turned him around by the shoulders and pushed him toward Mum. Dealing with Lucky’s confusion was my first priority, before she had time to assume the worst.

  “I’m glad he’s found you, Laxshmi,” he yelled. “I hope you’re meant for each other.”

  Christ. His well wishes would no doubt remind her of the others. “Are you bloody hammered?” I whispered, clenching my jaw.

  “I’ve not touched a glass of anything.”

  “Keep him inside, Mum. Please. I’ll be back soon as I
walk her home.”

  “You’d best be,” Da said. “I’m glad you’ve found the target right enough, but we’ll be having some words about you keeping this from me.”

  I gritted my teeth. “And that would be why I didn’t tell you—because it has nothing to do with her being a target.”

  He sputtered something, but Mum pulled him inside.

  I headed back to Lucky. She was still standing by the lounge chairs and looking radiant in the setting sun. With the blue top she was wearing, it was as if she’d just stepped off a tropical beach.

  “Lucks, I’m right sorry.”

  She tilted her head. “You didn’t tell him about me?”

  Damn. She’d heard. A growing worry mingled with her curiosity, taking her mind exactly where I didn’t want it to go. I’d rather be dragged across a coral reef than lose the progress we’d made today.

  “I told Da I hadn’t met anyone special yet.”

  “Like the other girls in your search.”

  I cleared my throat and nodded. I didn’t know whether to smile at how clever she was, or worry about her putting too many pieces together. “He’d have been peppering me with endless questions, and since he wasn’t coming to lunch on Saturday, I, um … put off telling him. But Lucky, it has no bearing on how I feel about you. Honest.”

  Her eyes scanned my face for a long moment. I resisted the urge to keep explaining. She needed to learn to trust her emerging abilities.

  Her shoulders relaxed. “I know about overbearing parents. It’s not fair to expect you to have told your dad. You do remember I can’t tell my mom about us, right?”

  I heaved a sigh and pulled her in for a kiss. We’d tell her mum eventually, but bringing up forever didn’t seem a wise idea at the moment. I was still wrapping the idea around my head myself.

  “Um, what did your dad mean by saying ‘I hope you’re meant for each other?’ Is that about the secret? The search?”