Kiss Me in the Moonlight (Destined for Love: Europe)

by Lindzee Armstrong

  Nick ran a hand through his hair, his muscles coiled with agitation. “We really shouldn’t be talking about this here.”

  She folded her arms, anger replacing her disbelief. “You promised me answers. Start talking.”

  He sighed, his eyes darting about the room. When he spoke, his voice was so low she had to lean closer to hear. “I was working on an important undercover mission while we dated and couldn’t risk anyone finding out the truth. I wanted to tell you so many times.”

  Sure he did. Her nails dug into the soft flesh of her arms. “For what agency?”

  “It’s better if you don’t know. I doubt you’ve heard of it, anyway.”

  “Is that why you left?”

  “Yes.” His eyes were dark, the emerald green deeper than she’d ever seen it. “I had a mission overseas, and I didn’t know when I’d be able to contact you again. I regretted breaking things off—especially the way I did—as soon as I had a second to stop and think. But I knew that if I did it in person, you’d ask too many questions that I couldn’t answer. At the time, it seemed like the easiest way.”

  She took a step back, needing to put some distance between them. Her legs shook, and the room suddenly felt ten degrees warmer. “Wait. Is that why you’re here now? Are you on another mission?”

  He paused, and the silence that stretched between them felt like the beginnings of another lie. A volcano brewed in Paige’s chest as the clocks ticked ominously. Nick stared at her, his eyes saying things Paige was terrified to understand.

  “Don had some security concerns,” Nick said. “Nothing major, but I’m here to help him out.”

  “And that’s all?” Paige pressed.

  “I’m not here on the agency’s behalf.”

  A screech filled the air, and Paige jumped. Hundreds of cuckoo clocks chirped, little birds jumping from the houses as they counted off the hour. Ten o’clock.

  Nick reached toward her, but Paige took a step back. The birds disappeared inside their houses. The tick tick tick of their pendulums seemed louder than ever now, a time bomb doomed to explode.

  “Please, Paige. It’s not a good idea to talk here. Let’s go to the lake.”

  She was going to be sick. Every conversation and moment spent with Nick now contained the possibility of a lie. “Was finding a girlfriend part of your cover mission? Was I just a pawn in your little game?”

  “Absolutely not. Relationships are …” Nick shook his head fiercely, eyes luminescent with pain.

  “Are what?” Paige demanded, making her voice acidic.

  “Are dangerous!” Nick exploded. “I never should’ve asked you out. There’s a reason men in my line of work stay single. But I couldn’t help myself, and I fell in love with you. I’m still in love with you.”

  The words washed over her like an ice bath, and her entire body tingled with a delicious sort of pain. “Wh-what?”

  “I love you, Paige. I thought about you every single day we were apart.”

  The words were right, but the situation was all wrong. He was supposed to have said these things after a romantic evening stroll past the Washington Monument, not after disappearing for two months. She glanced at the clocks on the walls, refusing to meet his gaze. “I don’t even know who you are. Our entire relationship was a lie.”

  He grabbed her arms, forcing her to stand still. To look at him. “This” —he motioned back and forth between them— “isn’t a lie. When we kiss, it isn’t a lie. My feelings for you are real. Yes, I had to sometimes lie for my job. But I always told you the truth when I could.”

  “You should have tried harder to tell me the truth. I would’ve understood why you had to leave.” She could still remember the disbelief that had washed over her when reading his email. The anger that had consumed her as she peered into the windows of his empty apartment. For two months, she’d agonized over what she’d done wrong. She’d grieved for a relationship that had been consumed by secrets.

  “I know,” he said. “But the lies are over. I won’t leave like that again.”

  “You can’t seriously expect me to believe that.”

  He ran a hand through his hair, his expression pained. “Let’s take a walk. I’ll tell you as much as I can.”

  She knew what he really meant—there were still secrets he had to keep. Helplessness welled within her, and tears threatened. She never should’ve come to Europe. She wished Nick had stayed hidden. “There’s nothing left to say.”

  He let out a frustrated growl. “Didn’t you hear me? I said I love you. Love you, Paige. I-want-to-spend-my-life-with-you-and-grow-old-together love. If I thought you didn’t feel the same, I’d walk away right now. But I think you love me, too. And if I have to fight for us, I will. If I have to spend a lifetime convincing you to trust me again, I’ll do it. Just let me in.”

  Love. Was it possible for a heart to explode with happiness while shriveling with despair?

  A bell jingled from the front room, and the rough consonance of German floated through the store.

  Nick’s posture stiffened, and he moved so his back was to the wall. His eyes scanned the room, lingering on the doorway. “We should go.”

  Paige gave a sharp nod. “Fine. The lake then.” She was mad enough to push him into it, if given the chance.

  Outside, she squinted against the bright sunlight. A government spy. Did he run around at night, assassinating whomever the president deemed a threat? Did he skulk around seedy bars collecting information? Flit from woman to woman, like some James Bond wannabe?

  He’d looked so confident with that gun in his hand. So ready to shoot. Like he’d killed before and would do it again without hesitation.

  She stomped toward the lake. Nick easily kept pace beside her, his tall frame looming over her petite one. The smell of pine and fish mixed with the humidity, making her stomach turn. Water lapped angrily against the shore. Sunlight bounced dizzily off the surface.

  “So you’re a government spy,” she said flatly. “You couldn’t tell me when we were actually in a relationship, but now that we’re merely coworkers who sometimes make out in the dark, you suddenly think it’s fine to blurt out that little detail.”

  “I’m not on an official mission now. The rules are … looser.”

  Anger flared again. “Right. I’m sure the agency was perfectly happy to grant you vacation time so you can play bodyguard to a bunch of high schoolers vacationing around Europe. Spies do that sort of thing all the time.”

  “My last mission didn’t end well.” His shoulders were hunched, hands deep in his pockets. “I’m on leave while things are cleared up.”

  He was so dang cryptic. It took a lot of effort to unclench her jaw enough so she could speak. “Were you fired?”

  “More like suspended.”

  “Okay. What happened on that mission?”

  Nick took a step back and folded his arms. “It’s classified. But we lost a lot of good men that day. When I returned to the States, I was in no condition to talk to anyone.”

  Her heart was suddenly in her throat as she imagined gun-wielding thugs pointing their weapons toward Nick. As she imagined his life in danger. His gun raised in defense. “Did you kill someone?”

  His jaw clenched. “No. Someone killed my partner.”

  She sucked in a breath.

  “He was my best friend, and I couldn’t save him.” Nick’s face twisted with pain.

  “I’m so sorry.” All the anger drained out of her body, leaving a hollow emptiness in its place. She knew how it felt to watch someone you loved die. As young as she’d been when her mother passed away, the memories of watching the cancer decay her mom into a shell still haunted Paige.

  “As soon as I left, I knew I’d made a mistake. But Devin … well, it’s complicated.” The sunlight reflected off the water, casting shadows on his face. “I want a life with you.”

  Paige put a hand to her forehead, nausea making the world spin. Talk about a flood of information she’d never dreamed
of receiving. Her mind flashed back to a dozen details that finally added up—the way Nick would sometimes get a phone call, then abruptly leave. How sometimes, after a day at the ‘office,’ he’d have this faraway look in his eyes and not seem altogether present in whatever conversation she was attempting to engage him in. How sometimes he’d kiss her with a desperation that had confused her to no end once he disappeared.

  “Say something,” he begged.

  “I don’t know what to say.” Her heart demanded she believe him, but her head argued it was a very bad idea.

  “Say you’ll give me another chance.”

  “I … I don’t know.” Nick had taken her life and flipped it upside down, leaving her bleeding and unsure of the future. “How do I know you won’t disappear again?”

  “I might—that’s the reality of the job. But it won’t be like last time. You’ll know I’m leaving. I’ll always tell you as much as I can. We can stay in contact as much as the mission allows, and I’ll always come back.”

  The image of him holding a gun took hold of her heart and squeezed.

  He was a government agent. He chased criminals for a living.

  He played dangerous games, and he played for keeps.

  “Unless you die,” she whispered.

  “I’ll do my best to keep myself safe.”

  The fact he didn’t promise to stay alive wasn’t lost on Paige. She put a hand to her forehead, not sure what to think. What to feel.

  He took a step closer, resting his hands on her arms. This time, she didn’t pull away.

  “I’m going to fight for you,” he said. “I’ll prove that you can trust me. What we have is more real than anything I’ve ever felt. I can’t throw that away.”

  Paige stared up into his green eyes. “I never said it wasn’t real.”

  He ran his hand up her shoulder, sliding it around her neck.

  Maybe they could make this work. Maybe he really did want her.

  “You missed me just as much as I missed you,” he said, his lips brushing against her ear.

  She clung to his arms to keep herself from collapsing. Missed seemed like such an inadequate word for what she’d felt while he was gone.

  His lips brushed across her cheek, then trailed kisses along her jawline. She dug her fingernails into his biceps, her mind swirling with confusion.

  And then his lips were on hers, hard and insistent. One hand pressed against her back while the other tangled in her hair. She’d missed this. She’d missed him.

  But he’d lied to her. He’d left her bruised and broken. It was unlikely anything would change as long as he was a government agent.

  She tore her lips from his, shoving him back. “No.”

  “Paige—”

  “No!” The scream rang out across the water, and a nearby flock of birds took for the trees. She held up one shaking hand. “You lied to me for months. Now you drop a truth bomb on me, and think a few kisses will make it all better? I was a mess when you left.”

  “I’m so sorry.” The lines in his face filled with agony. “If I could change—”

  “But you can’t,” she cut in. “And this time, I’m the one who’s leaving.”

  He grabbed her hand, but she shook it off. She needed time to figure this out. Time to think, away from his intoxicating lips.

  “I’m not giving up,” he called to her retreating back.

  “Good,” she said, so quietly she knew he wouldn’t hear. Impossibly, she hoped that there was a way to fix this. To fix them.

  But she didn’t turn around, and kept on walking away.

  Nick watched Paige walk away, the sunlight making her copper-colored hair glow. His chest tightened as a scream fought for release. He’d finally told her everything, and she had walked away. The worst part was that he knew he deserved it.

  Tears pricked at his eyes, but he blinked them back. Agents didn’t cry. They also didn’t give up. He had three months left of chaperoning. That would have to be enough time to win Paige back.

  He also had three months to figure out what had happened in Amsterdam. Talk about crappy timing. But he was used to working around messy schedules.

  Paige disappeared around a building, taking a piece of his heart with her. Maybe he should’ve run after her and forced her to let him explain. But what more could he say? She had to come to terms with this on her own.

  Nick sighed, forcing the confrontation with Paige out of his mind. Right now, he needed to switch into agent mode. He only had fifteen minutes to get to the other side of the lake. Skeeter wasn’t likely to wait.

  Nick walked along the dirt path at a leisurely pace, conscious of tourists who might take notice of him. The trees grew thicker the farther he moved from town. Nick broke into a light jog, confident he was now hidden from prying eyes.

  Their designated meeting spot was only one-point-six miles away—a third of the way around the lake—but the trail ended after only a mile. Nick would have to blaze his way through the aspens and pines soon enough, which made it ideal for maintaining anonymity.

  Thick foliage muffled the sounds of boaters on the lake. Right now, Paige was probably perusing one of the many tourist-traps lining the main street of Titisee. He wondered if Layla had found her and realized she was upset. Would Paige tell Layla everything?

  No. Angry as she was, he knew that Paige would keep his secret.

  Nick came to the small clearing that he’d told Skeeter about and stopped, checking his watch. Eight minutes until the appointed meeting time. Hopefully Skeeter would have real information today. He was one of Nick’s more unreliable informants, but he was the only one who might actually know something about that night.

  A bird chirped in a nearby tree, and Nick thought he saw a silver fox tail disappear into the forest’s depths. He leaned against a tree trunk, letting his posture relax while his eyes scanned for signs of danger. He could have his gun out of its holster and firing in seconds if necessary.

  He never knew what to expect from Skeeter.

  Ten minutes passed, then fifteen. Had Skeeter changed his mind? Not gotten on the train?

  Had he told someone dangerous—someone like the kingpin—that Nick was waiting for him?

  A branch cracked from behind. Nick whirled, grabbing for his gun. He should’ve left as soon as Skeeter didn’t show.

  A man in a ratty gray T-shirt with long, greasy black hair stepped into the clearing. His shorts hung halfway down his butt, plaid boxers exposed.

  He let out an expletive in Dutch, grabbing at the waistband of his shorts as they sunk lower with the movement.

  “What are you doing?” Skeeter asked, glaring. “Put that away.”

  “You’re late,” Nick said, not lowering the gun.

  “I got held up at my last … appointment.”

  Nick knew what that meant—he’d met up with a drug dealer for something to get him by. Nick scanned the tree line, ears perked for any noise while he searched for something out of place.

  “I’m alone,” Skeeter said. “Don’t you trust me?”

  Not for a second. Nick lowered his gun. “Can’t be too careful.”

  Skeeter ran a hand over his eyes. Nick could see the tale-tell tremble, even from several feet away. Time for another hit.

  “You said you’d pay,” Skeeter said. “I need five hundred euro in cash.”

  “We agreed on three hundred.”

  “I’m not talking for anything less than four.”

  “Okay then. Have a nice day.” Nick headed toward the trees, back the way he’d come.

  “Wait!”

  Nick paused. Worked every time.

  “Fine. Three hundred.”

  Nick turned around, smiling. “Sure, three hundred—if your information is good. I don’t have time for your lies.”

  “Okay, okay.” Skeeter held up a shaking hand. He’d gotten a few new tattoos since Nick had seen him last. “What do you need to know?”

  A bunny darted across the clearing, racing for t
he bushes. Skeeter jumped and let out a curse.

  Nick didn’t flinch. He eyed Skeeter, keeping his expression fierce. “What were you doing at the warehouse that night?”

  One of Skeeter’s tattooed hands skittered across his jaw. “Don’t make me say it.”

  Nick just folded his arms.

  “I was meeting with my dealer,” Skeeter said. “Happy? I didn’t have enough cash, though, and he blew me off.”

  “You expect me to believe that you just happened to meet with your dealer, right outside a warehouse where my partner died?”

  Skeeter shrugged. “He said he was doing double duty.”

  The ring of truth made Nick straighten. “What do you mean?”

  “He was watching the place for the crime boss. I don’t know his name—no one does. But he runs that side of town.”

  Nick’s blood ran cold. “Why was he watching the warehouse?”

  “What do you think I am, an idiot? I didn’t ask questions, and he didn’t volunteer nothing. But you guys showed up not long after. You figure it out.”

  Nick stared at Skeeter, letting these new details drop into place. The whole thing had been a setup from the beginning, just like Nick had suspected. But why hadn’t they killed every agent there? Half the team had escaped.

  It didn’t make sense.

  “I want the name of your dealer,” Nick said.

  Skeeter let out a wounded grunt. “You trying to get me killed?”

  “The name, or no money.”

  “If I give you his name, he won’t sell to me anymore. I’ll have to buy the crap from coffee houses, like everyone else.”

  Nick looked at his watch, making the motion exaggerated. “It was great talking to you, Skeeter. Enjoy the soft drugs.”

  “Okay, okay.” Skeeter’s left eye wouldn’t stop twitching. “He goes by Racer. I don’t know his real name.”

  Racer. The name didn’t sound familiar, but Nick’s team had been focused on diamond smuggling, not illegal drugs.

  Nick pulled three hundred-euro notes out of his pocket. Skeeter grabbed for the cash, counting it eagerly. He shoved it in a pocket, the glee on his face unmistakable.