A Breath of Innocence

by K. A. Merikan

  Mark shook his head. At that point, there had been no one. He was on his own even when he lived with his ‘boyfriend’, because for that man, he’d been only worth as much as he could offer in terms of doing chores and being a pliant sexual partner.

  “There was a guy, a bit later, who offered me a job online, but I needed to come over, across the country. I really wanted to leave, because I was so tired going from guy to guy and feeling used. So I gathered what money I had and went on the road. It turned out that he wanted to do much worse than just fuck me. But that’s where I met the guys who adopted me later. They saved me from that man, and then gave me the tools I needed to change my life. For the first time, I had adults who I could depend on. But we lived on the road, and there was no time for me to figure things out. I just… grew up. That was that.”

  Griffith’s face was clay—constantly twitching and changing as he processed what Mark told him. It was a difficult thing to speak about, and Mark could only imagine how alien all this had to be for someone who’d grown up with a well-adjusted family and no financial worries.

  Griffith pulled him into a tight hug, gently rubbing his cheek against Mark’s as they stood close. “I’m so, so sorry... I don’t know what to say.”

  Mark lost himself in Griff’s smell and in his arms. “I just want you to listen, to know, and… still tell me that you love me. Now that you know how dirty and messed-up I am.”

  Griffith gasped and pulled Mark closer so hard they almost lost balance. “Don’t say that! It’s not your fault,” Griffith whispered before turning his face to press a kiss to Mark’s cheek.

  Mark took a deep breath and relaxed slightly. It felt strange to tell these things to a partner. He was much more used to posturing and showing off his best side to get laid than opening up to another person. But it felt good, as if for once he was showing his bare form to the person he wanted, without fakery or embellishments.

  He smiled and nudged Griff with his nose. “You represent everything I’ve missed out on. I feel like I’m getting a second chance from life.”

  Griffith sniffed and pulled away, looking back at Mark with the gentlest of eyes. His fingers were soft and warm on Mark’s skin, telling him everything Griffith wanted to say even before he opened his mouth. “And you make me feel like I can do anything. I love you. It doesn’t matter what happened in the past, okay? Can’t believe Charlotte told you such vile things.”

  Mark hugged Griff even tighter. “Are you only saying that because you love the sex so much?” He sniggered and nipped on Griff’s ear, his chest lighter with each passing second.

  Griffith moaned and gently punched Mark’s arm. “You’re so dumb. I know what you’re doing—trying to change the topic. But I want you to know that I think that you’re brave, and strong. You’ve been through so much, but you survived, and now you’re here with me. One of the best people I’ve met.”

  “Okay, now I’m convinced. I love you,” Mark said with another laugh, but confronted with the hopeful look in Griff’s eyes, he got serious. “No, really. I love you. I will do everything in my power to protect this. Maybe with time, I can work something out about Allen.”

  He couldn’t have made Griffith happier if he offered him a spot at the Royal Ballet. Griffith’s face relaxed, and he slid his hands down Mark’s forearms, eventually entwining their fingers. “I want you to see Allen. You deserve that. Maybe we could just... keep a low profile for now, so that Charlotte doesn’t stop you?”

  It took Mark a good few seconds to process that proposition. “You would do that for me? You’d have to lie.”

  Griffith swallowed and squeezed Mark’s hands. “That’s okay. You deserve to get to know him. I don’t want her to hurt you any further.”

  Mark smiled, in disbelief that he’d landed the angel standing in front of him. “I’m sure things will change in the future, they always do, but if you were willing to do this for now, I might just love you even more, if that’s humanly possible.”

  Griffith chewed on his lip. “Enough to let me finally suck you off?”

  Mark snorted. Could this boy possibly be a bigger gift? “Can we go to your place, or will Nisha beat me up?”

  Chapter 22 - Griffith

  Griffith rolled under the comforter and pulled in the pillow resting on the other side of the bed. Smooth and fluffy, it smelled of Mark’s shampoo, his favorite cologne, and all the good things that had entered Griffith’s life since all the lies had been unmasked. His phone buzzed yet again, and he lazily picked it up, grinning when he read Mark’s message.

  [I can’t wait to be back home to see your ass in those tight pants again. Thinking about you is distracting me at school, babe.]

  Pleasure drizzled down Griffith’s back and all the way to his feet. He loved being adored, and his boyfriend showered him with appreciation every single day to the point when living felt like walking on clouds even when they weren’t together.

  Heat flushed Griffith’s face, but he didn’t even hesitate before climbing out of bed and spinning in place to face away from a full-length mirror, which now showcased his muscular legs. Since Griffith had taken to sleeping in Mark’s T-shirts, the ass his boyfriend so desperately wanted to see was covered by loose fabric, but Griffith amended that by gathering the top at the front of his body. The fabric rode up the curve of his buttocks, revealing the baby blue underwear.

  It took Griffith several attempts to get the perfect shot, but he then sent it to Mark and walked down the stairs between the mezzanine and Mark’s sitting room.

  His phone buzzed not long after.

  [You used photoshop for sure. No real ass is that perfect.]

  Griffith dance-walked to the kitchen and switched on the espresso machine, typing while it heated up. [You’ll have to check by touch.]

  [I’m not skipping class again. I should tell Charlotte YOU are the bad influence. Byeee!]

  Griffith sighed and leaned over the counter, no longer even caring if any of the neighbors spotted him in this half-undressed state. He stayed over at Mark’s more often than not, especially that with Nisha juggling two guys since mid-January, she needed their flat more than he did.

  She promised to give him a signal once her guest was gone, but Griffith wasn’t in a rush, since it had already become clear he wouldn’t pass this semester. He would have to eventually talk about this to his parents, but he decided to only do it once he had an alternative to present. For the past weeks, he’d looked into dance schools and companies in the area but wasn’t yet set on anything. Still, the perspective of making a living doing what he truly loved had become more real with Mark’s never-ending encouragement.

  A ringing upstairs made Griff cock his head to the side. It wasn’t Mark’s phone, nor was it Griff’s. Too loud to be the neighbors’, the simple ringtone kept buzzing, and Griff rushed upstairs, mindlessly searching for the source of the sound.

  He briefly stopped searching when the ring died down, but just seconds later, the shrill started yet again, leading him all the way to the sock drawer. At the very back lay a beat-up smartphone, which buzzed, displaying the name Mike.

  Griffith weighed the device in his hand, increasingly baffled as to why his boyfriend had more than one active phone, and why would some guy call him on the secondary number out of the blue. His muscles froze when he thought of the things Mark had told him about his past. Could it be that Mark still kept the number from the time when he worked as an escort? If so, Mike was likely an old client, or worse—a pimp. Griff wasn’t sure if male escorts had pimps, but he still itched to send Mike where he belonged—to hell!

  Without thinking, he picked up the call, and the video window switched on automatically, loading to the rhythm of Griffith’s pulsing heart.

  The man who appeared was already opening his lips to speak, but then closed them, piercing Griff with amber-colored eyes. For a moment, Griff didn’t know what to think anymore. Going by looks, if anything, the man was an escort himself, because his face was rea
lly something else—symmetrical, with sharp features, perfect eyebrows, and long lashes.

  Griffith cleared his throat. “Hi,” he said in the end, already beating himself up over searching for the phone in the first place.

  The stranger’s pale eyes pierced right through him, and when he held the phone a bit farther from his face, his tanned naked chest came into view, licked by strands of long black hair. Bright sun reflected off the tousled locks, and once Griffith got over the initial shock, he realized what the white shape behind Mike was. He was on a yacht, in the middle of the ocean. For a horrible moment, Griffith’s brain ignored the fact that he and Mark spent virtually all their time off together, and suggested that maybe Mark was still doing escorting on the side. At least until the handsome stranger spoke again.

  “I’m assuming my son’s not around?”

  Relief was a hot presence in Griffith’s muscles, and he sat on the bed, face stretching in a wide smile. Mark had told him his fathers’ names were Seth and Domenico, but maybe ‘Mike’ was some kind of inside joke.

  “Oh, yes, he is at school. Should I pass something on?” he asked, getting somewhat flustered when he realized his hair was in disarray, and the sleeping clothes weren’t exactly what he wanted to wear when meeting his boyfriend’s parents for the first time.

  ‘Mike’ moved along the deck, eventually standing with his back to the ocean. Behind him, a buff-looking guy with a scuba set sat on the edge of the deck and waved at the phone.

  ‘Mike’ smirked. “We’re about to swim with the sharks. You can tell him he’s gonna miss all the fun.”

  The buff guy frowned. “Dom, that’s not Mark.”

  Oh, so the handsome stranger was Domenico. Griffith glued the smile to his face, completely out of his depth. “H-hello. So, um, swimming with the sharks?”

  Domenico nodded and pointed to the muscular hunk who had to be Seth. “His idea. It’s Mark’s boyfriend,” he told Seth who raised an eyebrow, but Domenico was already moving. “So, you must be the handsome boy Mark was telling us about,” he said, walking into the cabin when the wind became stronger and blew into the microphone.

  Wherever they were, the sun was incredibly bright, and the sky the most beautiful blue blue, nothing like the grey clouds Griffith saw through the window. He rubbed his sweaty palms against the covers. Did he just unwittingly put himself under scrutiny of the two people who Mark held in such high esteem?

  “I’m happy to hear he said that about me.”

  “He also told me he liked your last name, so if you got married, he’d hyphenate.” Domenico laughed as if this was no big deal. “Vincitore-...” He snapped his fingers. “What was it again?”

  “Vincitore-Elswood.” Griffith’s smile grew, and he tried to contain the buzz of excitement. Mark didn’t strike him as the type of guy who’d consider marrying someone so fast. His head was getting so light he was glad he’d sat down. “But we’re nowhere close to that!”

  Domenico laughed. “We shall see. And it’s not been that short of a time either. Remind me, how long have you two been dating?”

  Griffith squeezed his knees together, increasingly nervous about the questioning. “Oh... we’ve dated for about two months now, but it feels like longer than that.”

  “And I imagine you’re very close, since you’re answering his phone?” It sounded like an accusation, but was softened by a smile.

  Griffith cleared his throat. “I thought it might be something important, since you rang twice in a row. I don’t usually handle his personal things. He’s at school.”

  Domenico shook his head, and Griff gulped. The man was handsome to the point of it being intimidating. Also, thinking of Mark’s dad as handsome was super-awkward, but most dads of people his age weren’t that young in the first place.

  “You’re a smart one. Dodging the actual question. Mark never tells me enough. What do you do?”

  Griffith gave a nervous chuckle and sat more comfortably. “I’m a dancer.”

  Domenico whistled. “Mark’s a lucky boy then. We have to visit some time. Do you live in Bristol too?”

  Griffith smiled, glad he’d made a good impression. It would be nice to meet two adult gay men who had a great relationship and were married. “We’re neighbors. That’s how we met.”

  “You’re melting my heart, boy-next-door. Okay, those sharks are waiting. Tell Mark to call us later.”

  “Of course. Please, say hi from me to your husband.”

  Domenico smirked. “Don’t worry. I will,” he said and ended the call, leaving Griffith with trembling fingers and a swarm of butterflies in his stomach.

  Mark was thinking of him in the long term already. How did he earn such happiness?

  On his way downstairs, he made a twirl, now loving how empty Mark’s space was, because it meant room for dancing. He couldn’t stop grinning to himself.

  “Griffith Vincitore-Elswood,” he whispered to himself.

  *

  Griffith had plenty of time. Soon after he’d left the shower, Nisha was free, so the two of them had brunch at Spicer and Cole, followed by a walk to the city center, where she had classes. Since Griffith no longer attended any of his, he walked her to the Business School, and then did a quick shop before returning to Mark’s place (he had his own keys now). While not much of a cook, the supermarket provided many options of ready-to-bake food, and so without much effort, he could whip up a nice dinner for Mark and him. Twenty minutes after Mark had messaged him that his classes were over for the day, the salmon en croute was in the oven, and the sides—ready for microwaving. He decided to be fancy tonight and even lit a candle in the middle of the dining table after carefully removing batteries from smoke alarms.

  The sound of the keys made his heart flutter, but he still found the time to put the potato mash into the microwave and switch the oven to the grill option.

  “Hey!” Mark yelled from the corridor.

  Griffith all but flew to the door, sliding his arms around Mark as soon as he reached him. The woolen jacket Mark wore carried the scent of damp leaves, and it was so cool to the touch Griff quickly grabbed Mark’s hands and put them under his T-shirt. The touch had him shuddering. “You’re so cold!”

  Mark’s face instantly lit up with a smile, and he squeezed Griff’s sides. “Won’t be for long.” He took a long whiff of the air. “Are you kidding me? You’re cooking? I’m starving.”

  Griffith pulled closer and briefly buried his face against Mark’s neck. “What don’t I do? Come, the food’s almost ready,” he said, leading Mark away from the door.

  Mark quickly took off his jacket and shoved his bag at the sofa. “I love walking behind you,” he said and stroked Griff’s ass.

  Griffith glanced over his shoulder, drunk on the praise. This would be the perfect evening in. He’d even got wine in his meal deal. “You will have to wait until you see me naked,” he said, approaching the microwave, which beeped once the program was over.

  Mark hugged him from behind, a steady presence that radiated comfort. “What if I can’t wait?” He loudly sniffed Griff’s hair. “Have you been up to anything good today, slacker?”

  Griffith playfully nudged Mark’s chin with his shoulder. “Not much. I looked into some options for next semester. Oh, and your dads called. They couldn’t get a hold of you on your normal phone.”

  Mark stilled, and his chin started digging into Griff’s skin. “What?”

  Griffith peeled the plastic off the tray and stirred the mash before putting it into the microwave for another ninety seconds. “They kept calling your other phone. I thought it was an emergency, but they just wanted to show you how they swim with sharks. They’re very nice.”

  Mark stepped back and forced Griff to turn and look at him. “Why did you answer my phone?” His face was so serious Griff was taken aback.

  “Oh... I’m sorry. I just thought it was something urgent.”

  “Would you like me to start going through your emails? What next? You gonna
open my parcels?”

  Backed against the counter, Griffith had no idea how to respond. He recognized why Mark wasn’t exactly thrilled, but he was also blowing this way out of proportion. “I— I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have. I didn’t think it through.”

  Mark rubbed his forehead and took a deep breath, but the tension in his whole body was making Griff uncomfortable already. He stiffened when the microwave beeped right behind him. “What did you talk about?”

  “I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.”

  Mark looked into his eyes and slammed his hand against the counter, all of a sudden appearing taller and broader in the shoulders. “For fuck’s sake! What did you talk about?”

  Griffith gasped, stiffening in the face of a cold sheen in Mark’s eye. An icy flurry tickled his body from the inside. “Why are you being like this? We just had a quick neutral chat.”

  Mark slapped his fist into his open palm. “Because we’ve established that we’re keeping a low profile, and you go answering my phone? Talking to my dads? What the fuck, Griff?”

  Griffith blinked, briefly glancing at Mark’s fist and oddly intimidated by his body language. For once, he could make no predictions as to what would happen next.

  “Are you ashamed of me?”

  “Quick reminder, Griff, you’re hiding me too!” Mark’s tone went up, but so did his right hand, and with each passing second Griffith’s instincts called at him to leave the kitchen.

  “Because you want to keep seeing Allen!”

  “Never answer my phone for me! Just let it fucking ring if necessary!”

  Griffith slid from the trap between Mark and the counter, his heart beating fast. “You know what, you can have dinner by yourself tonight. I don’t like you talking to me like this.”

  Mark’s eye widened and he followed Griff in a way that had Griffith speeding up. “The fuck? I’m not done here!” He grabbed Griff’s elbow to stop him, and this time Griffith didn’t hesitate.