Lasting Fate

by Charisse Spiers

  My eyes never leave hers as I reach behind her and undo the clasp on her bra, releasing her engorged breasts. Her cheeks are becoming a red hue to match her shirt. "Feed our son," I say again. I rake my fingers around her until my hand is cupped around her breast, waiting on her to meet me halfway. She is holding him loosely in her arms, resting on her lap. I continue to stare into her eyes, but catch a glimpse from my peripheral vision.

  Her hold on him tightens and her arms slide back, towards her body. His face becomes flush with her skin and he feels around until his mouth finds her nipple. My opposite hand rests on her cheek and I begin rubbing her T-zone area with my thumb to comfort her. She closes her eyes and a solemn tears escapes, making its way to reside elsewhere. One releases from my own eye, accompanying hers. Her and I are always a pair no matter what the cause. Who knows where those two teardrops will end up, but they'll be together, a piece of her and a piece of me.

  "Breyson..."

  "What, beautiful?"

  "I love you. I've never needed anything like I need you. I don't care how many times the sun rises or sets as long as I'm watching it with you. I don't care whether we're rich or poor, as long as I'm with you. I don't care if we live on a beachfront property or in an open field, as long as I live with you. Nothing has meaning to me if I can't experience it with you. Don't you see? My heart will always belong...to you." Her voice is faint, but there is more meaning behind it than if she were screaming it from a rooftop.

  I crash my lips to hers, not able to do anything more. My heart feels like it's about to explode. I break free, but press my forehead to hers, looking into her eyes. "I love you too, Kinz. Not a fucking day goes by that my love for you doesn't quadruple in magnitude. There is love, and then there is epic love, love at it's greatest degree. You and I were forever meant to be. I hope now you realize that, so we never have to stand at this fork again."

  I finally break eye contact with her and look down. There is nothing more beautiful than watching your woman nurse your son, providing his food supply, and nurturing him to contentment and satisfaction. This, among other things, is one of the greatest treasures in life. A life without love is no life at all. You may have to fall in the darkest pit to figure it out, but when you're looking back from the other side, it's totally worth it all.

  My eyes catch the ink that is residing on her ribcage, ink that was absent when I left. My jaw steels as I take it in. I'm at a loss for words. It's beautiful, even though it brings back a few memories better left buried. I can't help but to run my fingers over the parts not covered by Bryce's feet, admiring the variations in color. It kills me to imagine what she was going through thinking I was dead. Not only does the plane piercing her heart gut me completely, but also the words, my heart died with you, destroys me.

  "When did you get this?"

  "Not long after the accident. It was one of my worst days." My eyes fill with tears as I trace my initials on her skin. Knowing you have someone that loves you enough to tattoo a memorial piece permanently on her body, covering that amount of space, is indescribable. I want to entwine us in every possible way. I want to make her my wife, but not this way. I need the assurance of forever. No more chancing us being apart.

  "You'll never have to go through that kind of pain again, beautiful. I'm so sorry. If I could take it back I would in a heartbeat, no questions asked."

  Maybe there was some kind of lesson in humility that we were supposed to be taught by having to endure all of this, but only one thing matters. "We were given a second chance, for whatever reason, and now it's up to us to make it count."

  This was always the place I loved to be, right here looking into the eyes of the woman that was made for me. Before her I was on the path to destruction, fucking every girl that would fall in bed with me, partying, and living a meaningless life. It's always surreal to imagine feeling this way about someone when you're just out of high school, but instead of questioning it I'm going to embrace it.

  The love that she radiates when in my presence is enough to knock a grown man over. I have no idea why I've been gifted such an amazing woman. I know that almost losing her is enough to keep me from ever experiencing that again. Each time I look into her green eyes she bares a little more of what's inside to me. Nothing in my entire life has ever felt more mine than her. There is no way to explain it to another human being. It's something you have to be granted access to: a soul mate.

  Everything I ever thought I wanted in life means nothing anymore unless she is by my side to experience it with me. I could be handed everything money could buy, or given the opportunity to experience every dream I've ever had, like football, but to receive it alone would be a disappointment instead.

  Looking back, it's hard to believe two stupid seventeen year olds would find what we found in each other. We knew so little then, but now, a year plus later we have a map for a future. Next month, the two of us will be nineteen. We have a lot to figure out, but at the same time we've figured out the most important part, and that is the plot to our story, that we need each other. The rest is mere details along the way.

  "What are you thinking about," she asks.

  "When you think of me what comes to mind?" I have an idea of what I want to get her for her birthday in barely over a month. It's sudden and people may think I'm crazy, but also it feels like it's been too long. I know what I want in life. I just need to know she wants the same. There are two places in this world that mean the most to us: that old oak tree and that pier. I need a way to permanently link them to our story, a lifelong memory after all of the bad or a happily ever after. I think I have the perfect plan.

  She's holding Bryce like a football, cradled to her body. She switches him to her other breast and then looks at me. I take her left hand in mine, rubbing my fingers over her ring finger. It's no longer holding another man's ring. Only one ring belongs on her finger, and that's mine. I will never lose her to another man again. Of that, I am certain.

  She looks down at our hands, but then back at me. "Why do you ask?"

  The beauty of her is astounding. I can't wait to take her body, touch it, and kiss all over it, taking it and enjoying it as mine. I want to look into her eyes as I become the last man she'll ever be with sexually. I get what Dad was trying to tell me that night in the pool house, when I was messed up about Kinzleigh before she moved here.

  Monogamy is a beautiful thing. To have sex with someone because you love her over and over again is not even comparable to anything else. I want to learn her body inside and out, and her likes and dislikes for years to come. If I ever had any thought that I wanted another woman, in which I didn't, Angelique confirmed that Kinzleigh is enough for me in every possible way. I may only be eighteen, but I don't need to sleep with a list full of women to prove my manhood or to live a full life. I've been there and done that, and trust me, it's not all it's made out to be.

  I pull her hand up to kiss the back. "I just want to know.”

  She studies me briefly, as if she is pondering the question. "Do you want the honest answer?"

  That question frightens me a little. I'm starting to regret asking, but I'd rather know. "Yes, I think I do. An honest answer is always the best answer."

  She stands and walks over to the crib, laying Bryce inside. He's now sleeping peacefully, the opposite of when we arrived. She walks back over and kneels before me. I'm trying not to look at her half naked body, but it's getting harder now that nothing is in the way. She grabs the bottom hem of my shirt and begins pulling it up my body. Reflexively I raise my arms, allowing her to remove it. "What are you doing?"

  "Shh. I'm about to answer your question, but I want to feel your skin while I do. I haven't seen your body in so long." She tosses my shirt aside and wraps her hands around me, resting them flush with my back, pulling my body to hers. Her breasts press against my chest and my dick hardens against my jeans. She kisses my collar bone and runs her hands down the waist of my jeans, stopping at the top of my butt, her favorite pl
ace. "I've missed this," she says against my skin.

  Everything about her stuns me; it always has. I can never get enough of her. There is no way I can ever walk away from her or forget her, not even with fucking amnesia. My brain knew it and my heart knew it. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Kinzleigh, and you're all I'll ever need. I will never want anyone else whether we are together or not."

  She presses her index finger to my lips, hushing me. "I thought I was the one that was supposed to be talking." I can't help but to grin. Finally, a piece of the woman I fell in love with is trying so hard to break free. She smiles back at me, though small, but still a smile nonetheless. "I know you like to run those beautiful lips, but maybe it's time that I pour my heart out since you're so good at it."

  She moves in closer to my face and my breathing becomes heightened just thinking of kissing her. "You want to know what comes to mind when I think of you? Here goes... I think of the cocky, but beautiful blue-eyed boy that I met on the beach, the very one that had me in a state of confusion and weak at the knees. When I think of you, I remember the boy that took my breath away on the pier the night you first kissed me. When I think of you, I think of the boy that consumed my mind enough that I gave myself to on my very bed."

  I can already tell this is about to consume every facet of my mind. "Breyson, when I think of you, I think of the one I was led me to when I ended up in the same town as you. When I think of you, I think of the one that captured my heart, rocked my world, changed it, and made it extraordinary. You didn't give up on me, on us, even when I tried to force it on you, and that speaks volumes. In church one Sunday they made us watch this movie called Fireproof and one line came back to me when you showed up at that pier. The man in the movie said, you don't leave your partner in a fire. No matter how stubborn I am or how stupid I'm acting you've never left me. You've always stood by my side."

  I watch as a tear falls down her face. She's never been one to go over the top to express her feelings. This is a huge step for her. "When I think of you, I picture the man I want to marry and the father of my kids, my lifelong partner. I know what it's like to live without you, and I never want to experience that hell again. Breyson, you are my best friend, soul mate, lover, and hopefully someday husband. I never foresaw this life until you came along, but now, when I look at you, I see nothing less than forever."

  I suck in a breath and hold it. I take her face in my hands and pull it closer to me. "You have no idea how much I needed to hear that." My lips crush against hers, pulling her bottom lip into my mouth. I can't get enough of her. Everything of her drives me wild: her scent, her touch, and her taste. Everything is like an aphrodisiac. The only problem is that her body is on lock and key for six weeks total after our son was born.

  I need to touch her in some form. I need to know that I still please her like I used to. We were always great together from talking all the way to the bedroom. There has never been two people that fit together better than Kinzleigh and I. I haven't touched her aside from kissing since the day I left on that fucking plane. I wasn't the last man to touch her and that thought drives me mad. I try not to think about it, but I can’t help it. I need to remedy it quickly.

  I place my hands over her shorts, cupping her ass through the cotton. I squeeze and line her body against mine; the only thing separating us is the outline of my dick in its hardened state. A moan slips between her full lips incidentally. It's enough to give me consent to push her further. I pick her up off the floor enough that she wraps her legs around me, the benefit of me being so much taller than her.

  I continue to kiss, suck, and lick her as I lay her on her back on top of the floor. She arches her back as I trail my tongue along her jawline, sucking the lobe of her ear into my mouth. She always liked me sucking her ear lobe. It was like a start button to rev up her sexual engine. As expected she tilts her head to the side, giving me better access to her neck, the seam to her body.

  I kiss in a path, starting at the cohesion of her neck and jaw, traveling down to the top of her shoulder. I back up slightly until my face is level with the piece of artwork that will forever remain on her body; a mural devoted to me. I kiss the point of contact between the plane and where it pierces the heart. Her stomach constricts at a rapid pace, showing that her rate of breathing is getting faster the lower I get.

  I never look up. Instead, I continue familiarizing myself with the body I have dreamed of for months on end. She tenses when I reach her stomach. She's small, so she only carried baby weight in her stomach. She's already back to her size, just a little softer. To me, she's more beautiful than before, because she's been incubating something that belongs to me for the past nine months, making her body adjusted for me.

  I reach up and cup her breast, rubbing my thumb over her pebbled nipple, relaxing her. I finally reach the pink ink that stretches across her pelvis, just above the elastic band of her shorts. I hold my weight with my knees and thighs to free my other hand, placing it under the band. I can feel her heart rate pounding through her pulse. "Breyson, I can't yet."

  I pop my head up at her. "We're not going to have sex, baby. I just need to touch you. I want to take back what you gave me."

  "It's not that," she says, and her cheeks start to turn a shade of pink. "You don't understand. You don't want to be down there yet. Will you just come back up here? I can make you feel good."

  She places her fingers in her mouth and begins nibbling at the tips as if she's nervous. "You're bleeding," I state. I may be a guy, but my mother is an Obstetrician and we were required to take Health Freshman year. A woman's body is not as foreign to a man as most would like to think; especially not with one he loves.

  She nods, but I don't care. Blood is draining from the furthest point of origin and I'm going for the closest. I don't even have to remove her shorts for where I'm going. I just want to taste her, and then I'll be happy. I can get her off with my finger. There is one reason I want to taste her, because I never have. Not in that spot at least.

  I was never interested in going down on a woman before Kinzleigh. My parents drilled in my head to protect myself from disease before her and I got together. I always used a condom, so I sure as hell wasn't putting my mouth down there. Then, when we got together I was so hyped up on the fact that she was a virgin all I wanted was to stick my dick inside her, plus, Kinzleigh is shy when it comes to sex, or she was. We experimented, but it was mostly with different styles of sex. "I don't care, Kinzleigh. I stopped caring about stuff with you a long time ago."

  I grab the waistband of her shorts and begin to pull them down in the front when she grabs my hair in her fist. "Breyson, you really don't have to do that. Really, it's okay." She's never told me no before. Something tells me this isn't about her bleeding. She knows I haven't gone down on anyone before. When it was brought up, neither had she...

  "He went down on you, didn't he?" I have no right to be mad, but the look on my face must be stating otherwise, because her lips start quivering and her eyes begin churning out tears at a rapid rate. I don't even need the answer verbally. Her response gives me the confirmation I need.

  "I'm so sorry," she says. Her voice sounds completely distraught. The look on her face says she's vulnerable. Does it piss me off that he got one of her firsts? Hell yeah. Do I want to think about it? Fuck no. Why do I ask some of the stupidest questions known to mankind? You never ask questions unless you're prepared for the answer.

  I feel guilty. Of course I would, it's Kinzleigh. I just got her back. I sure as fuck am not going to lose her over my raging jealousy. I said I was letting it all go and that's what I'm going to do. This is such a mood killer. I take a second to clear the toxins excreting into my mind. She tries to close her legs, but I stop her. Grabbing a knee in each hand I push them open as far as they will go.

  I place my thumb in my mouth and suck, moistening it. I dip my hand into her shorts until I can feel her clit underneath my thumb. I begin to message in a circular motion. She g
rabs the rug in her fists, her breathing picking up. She attempts to close her legs again, but for a different reason this time. I block them with my shoulders. My jaw muscle begins to twitch back and forth as my teeth exert pressure against each other. I'm promising myself that after this anything to do with her and Preston will be laid to rest.

  I look her in the eyes. She's biting her bottom lip. Her face is still soaked with more tears flowing to keep it that way. "I don't care where you've been while I was gone, Kinz, as long as there are no others from this point forward. I will be the last man to touch, see, or enter right here. This is, and forevermore, belongs to me. This is mine. Are we clear?"

  "Yes," she moans out in a breathy voice. "You're the only one I'll ever want. No one does to me what you do to me. That I promise." I press down just enough that when I rub it drives her wild.

  "Good, remember that, because I don't give away my things. Once mine, always mine. You are the most important thing I've ever obtained for myself. That alone means I'll guard it with my life. There is one more thing I need as a man. I need to watch you come apart at my hands. I haven't needed many things, but this I need." Her eyes start to roll back in her head as I continue consuming her body through pleasure. It will be my goal to cause an ever-fucking-massacre on her mind, body, and soul. I will consume Kinzleigh Baker. She better get ready, because Breyson Abercrombie is about to leave a mark.

  I continue to feel her tense below me. I know she's getting close. I don't want her to come this way, so I stop. "Breyson, please, don't stop. It feels so good. It's been too long. I want you to touch me." She always knew how much I liked to hear her beg. It's one of those things I can't explain, but it turns on a switch making me crazy, a sexual mad-hatter.