"Okay Darren, I'll-..." Crystal went to pass Ben to take care of him.
"No!" He held out his hand as if to halt her, "Ben wi'my butt!" He yelled at her, losing patience with her for not leaving.
"Darren! That's for me to do!"
"No! Ben wi'my butt!"
Who, ignored Crystal's presence and stepped forward, doing just that assuring her, "Look, I got'im, no big deal." As if he'd always been taking care of a toddler, he wiped him up, pulled up his training pants, lifted him to the sink and together, the two of them washed their hands together. Sighing she asked again, "Where's everyone?"
"Your mom and Mama JoJo have gone to church; Mundo and I have been teaching the boys to swim. Shawn is working in his office." He answered as he carried on taking care of Darren. Crystal stood feeling her heart squeeze in her chest to see her son, so totally trusting him, leaning on the vanity sink with Ben at his back, securing him in place, while his two large hands, soaped up Darren's little ones. Talking to him as he did, "Every time you use the toilet, you wash - your hands, right?"
"Was'my han'." Darren repeated as he suds them up with Ben.
"Good boy, now let's rinse."
Crystal stood aside, viewing it all quietly, resenting that he could dare be this good person that fit so perfectly with her boys. She didn't want him fitting, she didn't want him showing how right in her life he could be, or how right in her boys lives he could be. She resented that he placed before her a challenge that she just didn't want! She resented it, him, because she was feeling things. She knew once you started feeling things, it was hell to wrestle for what was right. What was right - right now - was to get her life on track, to complete her divorce and then focus on herself and her boys. She didn't want him in her life because he was stealing her control, day by day, he was taking it away - by treating her and her boys with the kind of gentle, considerate, compassion and care that she so longed for in her life, in theirs. They were drying their hands now. Finished, Ben picked Darren up, settling him on his arm, "All done." He said softly to her. "Ah done mama." Darren repeated after him.
Seeing the storm of emotions on her face, in her eyes, Ben thought it would be best to leave her alone. He gave a gentle smile and passed her going out of the bathroom leaving her to it. Crystal closed the door, looking at herself in the mirror. "I have to stop him! I can't let this happen! I don't want to want him, not now - it's too soon! God, what am I gonna do? I don't need this right now! I don't need it! God please, freeze my heart against him - I have to make this stop - I just don't know how." She agonized peering into the mirror at herself. With the shake of her head, she took a deep breath - determined to hold onto that conviction at all costs. No matter how good he was with her boys, no matter how much they needed the attention he was giving them, they had Shawn, Mundo and, their own father. She sighed once more thinking about him. Her stomach started hurting because things were starting to get more complex and she didn't need complexities of this magnitude. She turned from the mirror, stepping to the shower turning it on, covering her head in a shower cap, she stripped and stepped in.
By the time she showered, dressed and came downstairs, Ben was carrying a sleeping Darren in on his shoulder, to be put down for a nap. She had been in the refrigerator and looked up to see him coming in with him, slamming the door, over-reacting to the sight of it she snapped, "Give him to me, I'll put him to bed!"
"I've got him, what's with you?" He spoke softly not to wake him.
"Nothing's with me! They're getting too attached to you! When this is all over, you'll go back to your life and Gail and they'll be left to wonder where you are!" She went to take Darren from him. "You're gonna wake him." Ben told her, not wanting to give him up.
"He's tired, he'll go back to sleep - give him to me!" She demanded.
He stood a moment staring at her, clearly unable to understand where this was coming from. "What have I done?" He asked lost with what else to say.
Unable to deal with his question or look him in the eyes, she took her son from him, ignoring him and headed for the stairs.
Ben stood in the empty kitchen unsure of what to do. Giving up, he turned and went back outside with Mundo and Isaac. The plan had been, to take Darren in for a nap, followed by him, Mundo and Isaac taking a walk to the small park not far within the estate, however now - Ben wasn't so sure.
"Ready to go Ben!" Isaac jumped at him as he made it outside. He and Darren already had lunch, they'd just eaten it not long before Darren started nodding.
"Okay m'man, we'll go in a moment okay, we have to check with your mama first." Ben said, knowing that he should have while he had her standing there. Due to her sudden about face with him, he'd forgotten that he went in to lie Darren down, let her know that he was taking a nap and also that he and Mundo would be taking Isaac with them on a bit of a stroll to the park.
Hearing that he had to ask Crystal first, Mundo looked up, "She ain't gone mind man, let's just go."
Ben stood unsure, "Maybe you should go and let her know, see if it's okay."
"Thought that's what you did when you took Darren in?" He asked.
Before Ben could answer that, Crystal stepped outside looking for Isaac and right away, "Isaac, time for you to take a nap, come on in."
"Nooo, don't want no nap - I'm goin' wit' Ben and Mundo!"
"No you not, you going in for a nap before it gets too late for one."
"Emm mm, I goin' wit' Ben and Mundo." He pouted, getting upset.
Ben turned to Crystal, "Come on, he's looking forward to it, a stroll and play in the park will get him ready for a nap."
She ignored him again and walked up to Isaac grabbing his wrist, "Let's go, you gettin' a nap now, you been swimming all morning, that's enough."
He pulled against her grip, "Nooo, don' wan' no nap! Don' need no nap! Be-e-en, I wanna go wit' Be-e-en, go wit' Mundo-o-o!"
"Sis' what's wrong wit' you? What's the big deal, let him go with us, man!" Mundo stood trying to understand, "Why you trippin'?"
"Excuse me, he is my son! I say, what he is and is not going to do, thank you!"
"You need to take yo'ass back to bed, you don' obviously woke up on the wrong side! Come out here trippin' bein' difficult and shit! Come on let us take the boy to the park! Got him all upset, we was doin' just fine 'till yo'wacked out crazy ass come on the scene! You gone let us take him?" Mundo fussed and then asked.
"No my trippin' wacked out ass ain't!" She bent down and picked Isaac up because he was pulling against her, now crying, "Wanna go t'da pa-a-ark!" He cried over and over.
She ignored him turning to go into the house with him when Ben blocked her way, "You mad at me about something? Deal with me, but don't take it out on the kids!"
"Excu-u-use me!" She glared up at him.
"This is bullshit! You and I are talking later."
"I have nothing to say to you, you have nothing to say to me! Move!"
"What the hell is going on?!" Mundo shot observing the scene.
She turned on her brother, "Mind - your business!"
"Know what, be that way! Ben! Come on man! Let's roll - let's just go! Leave'ha - alter personality disorder is now engaged, Cybil is in the house, let's go before Kathy, Trudie and Sha'ne'ne leap out on us next!"
That pissed her off, she turned back to him, pointing her finger towards him and the sky, "You know what?! Don' make me give you instructions on what you need to do - because you know I will!"
"You know what, you need help! Yeah! Straight up sis'! Got that boy all upset for nothin'! This shit ain't even necessary!"
Crystal stuck her middle finger up at Mundo and turned back to Ben, shoved him aside from blocking the door. He let her, a bit stunned, as his surprised, "Hey!" Attested. "Is all of this really necessary?" He yelled at her, unable to help himself. Isaac was looking at him crying, reaching for him, clearly not wanting to go in the house.
"Like I told him to mind his business, you do the same! When I say move, move the hell - o
ut of my way!"
"See Ben! Now ya'see! See that shit right there, yeah - ain't you glad?!"
Ignoring both of them, Crystal went to the sliding glass doors only to see Shawn standing looking out at them, he obviously could hear them from his office, when the door slid open, he asked, "What's going on? What's with the yelling, why is he crying?" He was looking at Crystal for the answer.
Mundo answered for her, "Dad, she trippin'! She havin' one of her spells! Ignore her!"
While she might ignore Ben and Mundo, she would not Shawn, "It's time for his nap and he don't wanna take one, they're not helping."
"Naw naw na-a-aw! That ain't what's happenin', she got a wild hair up her rectum, done slept half the day away, got up with a attitude and taking it out on us! The boys was just fine, we was just fine, but then, Broom Hilda come on the seen, Isaac no longer happy! Why? 'Cause Crystal ain't happy! And when Crystal ain't happy, everybody gotta suffa'! That's what's going on." Mundo informed Shawn with his sister glaring at him. Isaac hiccuping and hoping that the argument would end with him able to go with Mundo and Ben, even though, he was starting to yawn.
Shawn looked at Isaac and then at Crystal, "You do what you need to do, long as what you're doing, is fair. Okay?"
She instantly felt bad, then nodded and turned away and headed for the stairs with her son.
Shawn turned back to Mundo and Ben, "When she's in a bad mood, for whatever reason she is, leave her alone, okay?"
"She the one come out here startin' it! Why ain't you chewin' her out?" Mundo defended them.
"Am I chewin' you out?" Shawn retorted.
"Feel like it, she slept all morning and we out here helping her out, and this our reward. You always back her over us."
"Hey! You're both young men, you don't need me to back you against her! Learn that if a woman is doing something that seems unreasonable, something is wrong!" He turned to Ben then asking, "You know what's wrong with her?"
"No, I don't." He answered right away, lying. He had an idea, but he wasn't going to bring it up before Mundo and Shawn.
"And everything went okay between you two last night?"
"Everything was fine between us last night."
Shawn eyed him and Mundo, nodding, "Okay, well - you guys go on with what you want to do, leave her alone for the rest of the day."
"Huh-huh, you ain't got to tell me twice! When you go in, you might wanna dial a exorcist for her ass, it's Sunday, lines should be open!" Mundo grumbled.
Shawn shook his head and fought not to chuckle at him, "Mundo!" He called his name in warning, despite the corners of his mouth twitching to grin.
"Ah'ight, ah'ight, ah'ight, I'm chillin'."
Shawn backed up in the door and slid it closed, leaving them outside.
Ben stood for a moment wishing that he and Crystal were there alone, had they been, he would have dealt with her, but because of Mundo and Shawn, his hands were tied, for now that is.
"Come on man, let's go chill out dude. Now, you see what she like."
Ben turned to Mundo, "Do me a favor little brother, try to fight your need to further antagonize her, it only makes things worse."
"Ah man, you too!?"
Ben stared at Mundo a moment and then, just came clean, "I love her Mundo, I'm - in love with her - Crystal Bella. I also know her, I know what this is - what just happened."
Mundo couldn't believe he just put it out like that.
"You look surprised?"
"She still married to Victor man. And, maybe, still in love with him. Dude, don't set yourself up like this, as you can see, she already trippin' on you."
"Yeah, I can see it. Thing is, I just - I don't wanna play the game, know what I'm saying? I'm just gonna deal with it all, straight forward, sometimes on her terms, sometimes not, it will all depend I guess, but - I'm not in denial - whether she chooses to be or not."
"Well, I'm gone be straight with you. With her, I think you biting off more than you can chew. My sister, she got issues dude, she got serious issues."
"Well Mundo, so do we all. It's the curse of being flesh and blood humans. And Crystal is emotional. She's like, one of those books really hard to read, like Shakespeare, you know? Yet, once you get the insight, the understanding of how the terms and wording are structured, once you get behind the meaning, you can't stop reading it, because comprehension drives home the fact that it means something. She's like Shakespeare ... and I like reading Shakespeare."
"Dai-yum! That's some deep philosophical shit man! It's summer right now, school out! I ain't supposed to be thinking that deep and hard on shit - you either! Chill! We in L.A. 'sposed to be having fun, lighten up." Mundo advised shaking his head, turning to lead the way on their walk, "Yeah, you need to hang around me more. Lettin' shit get t'ya, makin' ya'thank - we thank when school back in, but right now, it's su-u-um-mer - summer time is here...da da da da taaaa ... yes it's su-u-um-mer - my time of ye-e-ear." He sang with a surprisingly incredible voice, making Ben laugh out. "Wow, that sounded good, you should be singing instead of mixin'." He grinned following behind him out the side of the house.
"Hey I'm good wit' mixin' ya'know, just now and then, I let a little bit of other thangs 'bout me out." He winked, determined to stay upbeat and not let anything or one, ruin his good time.
After getting Isaac down and to sleep for his nap, Crystal came down to find Shawn in the kitchen fixing her something to eat. "You should be hungry, I made a salad for everyone, some fresh Salmon fillets and pea soup, here you go, eat up." He smiled placing the food at a setting at the kitchen bar. She looked up from it, to him, "Papah-Shawn you don't have to do stuff like this for me, weren't you working in the office?" She asked, taking a bar stool looking over everything, it looked so colorful and delicious.
"I needed a break. Been working non-stop since your mom and Mama JoJo left. They'll be out for a while, Sylvia is going to take her to pick up some things in the Limo and then she'll be back home, after church."
Crystal nodded with her fork in hand, spearing her salad, eating, it tasted as wonderful as it looked.
"Is it okay?"
"It's incredible, you're such a good cook papah-Shawn." She sighed loving the way he could make up a salad.
"You want water, seltzer water, lemonade, or a soda?" He asked grabbing a glass for her.
"Yes please, just water is fine."
"Coming right up." He filled it from the refrigerator and set it before her. "Anything else?"
She looked up sheepishly at him. "When I'm done eating, can we - talk?" She asked hesitantly.
"I was hoping you would say that Lil'mo, so, finish your meal and join me in my office when you're ready, okay?"
"Yep."
Crystal stood at the kitchen sink, drying off the counter after washing her dishes, her mind on the talk with Shawn, while she was a little nervous about it, she wasn't afraid. She decided to check on the boys before she went in to talk to him; they were sound asleep.
Shawn looked up at the tap tap tap on his door, "Come on in Lil'mo." He invited, figuring it could be no one else. He'd been touching up some of the pictures he took when Mundo had been with him for taking pictures of the interracial couples that the James's would be using at Pen-tab. He was also finishing up the last website of the authors sites he was doing. It felt so good to be on target again, not behind and under pressure. The breather, thanks to Ben, was a blessing.
"You sure I'm not interrupting your work?" She asked softly, easing in to take a seat before his desk.
"Don't be silly, I always have time for my girls. Speaking of which, I wonder if Angela is ready to come home yet?"
"She must be having fun."
"Yes, must be." He returned turning from his computer to face her. "Tell me now, why you looking so lost? What was earlier about?"
Crystal sat back in her chair, gazing at the man who married her mother and basically, was making such a difference in their lives, she couldn't help but admire him, look up to him, seek hi
m out for times like this. Problem is, part of it - what plagued her, was about him.
"You've got something ridin' you pumkin' - you do know, that with me, nothing is off bounds."
"I know, but - well - it's just that I wanna talk to you about something, but I don't know how to, exactly. As I think about it, in truth, it's none of my business - I have no right to - ask about it, wonder about it. But, I can't help wondering and I don't want something like this - coming between what I think of you."
Shawn froze, staring at her. His mind racing with where this might be going, especially considering where they were last night. Now, he had to know what was going on.
"Crystal, anything - I do mean anything, that disturbs you, that might block the growth and trust of this family, especially from me, as I've stepped in - gladly - gladly as your father, your brothers ... I must know what that is to deal with it. I don't want anything, coming between any of us, ever ... not ever! I mean this from the bottom of my heart, God as my witness I do, I love your mother - with everything in me, and her children - you and your brother - you're mine. You've been given to me, I believe that. So - if there is anything, that is making you feel un-easy ... here is where you belong, talking to me about it - straight up, okay? You believe me?"
Crystal nodded, trying to fight making it emotional, but with the sincerity of his words, it was hard not to get emotional. Only from her mother, had she known and trusted in such a show of absolute love. She sat trying to imagine what she might have been, had this man, truly been her father, from conception? Now, she wished she had not started this discussion, because simply put, he was a man who as a young man made a mistake, she didn't feel now that it was her right or place to call it to his attention. Even so, he needed to know what was being spread about him.
"Still wrestling with telling me?" He asked, his heart going with dread, try as he might, there was only one thing that could be troubling her, concerning him. Shawn braced himself.
Crystal resolved herself to getting it out, but knew she had to be careful in the delivery due to the way he was about them. If the way he reacted concerning Mundo at the pool hall the other night was anything to go by, telling him what Oscar T. said and did to her was totally out of the question. Settled in her mind how she was to bring it out, she began.
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