"First, Ben and I - we had a terrific time last night."
"Glad to hear it, so what was up with earlier?"
She sighed. "I think I over handled things there, I'm just scared that's all. I want to get my life in order, one step at a time, in one area at a time and - well - I don't want anything interfering, complicating matters."
"I see, you talking about Ben?"
She nodded first then answered, "Yes. He's ... well - he's too good to be true, if I must be honest. And, I'm still trying to get my self over Victor and my marriage falling apart. I don't want to be one of these women, who jumps from one guy to the next, know what I mean? I don't wanna be like that. I wanna do things the right way, I want to live right - and - I don't want my boys growing up later thinking, that their mother is into bed with anyone who shows me a little attention."
"Your boys would never think that about you, because that's not who you are."
"Well - if I went straight from Victor - to-..."
"Ben?"
She nodded looking in her lap, "Yeah, Ben. Besides, he's with Gail - and - that's another thing. I don't want the reputation of taking someone else's man, or - scheming to break them up, that's just so ugly - you know? To be honest, that's kinda what this all feels like, sneaky and under handed. I smiled at her, I invited her into our home and now - look at us - we went out on a date together. I should have never given in and did that, it's just wrong. I don't want my life going off into that direction, I'm not going to do it. I will prove my fath-... well, Mr. Payne was wrong about me! I will not live my life proving him right, no way ... no way."
Shawn exhaled and sat back. He wouldn't admit out loud that he'd hoped just that, that Ben would be able to get with her, take her mind off of Victor. He wanted her in his fold by every means possible, even if it meant her marrying his son. Hearing her protest of it, brought that to the fore with him, that that is exactly what he'd hoped. Even so, he understood her feelings but hated that her every action was fuelled by her worthless sperm donor, Armundo Payne Sr. He'd laid a heavy burden on her shoulders, that she would no doubt fight against in every aspect of her life.
"Crystal - you can't let what your father did to you, direct what you do in your life. You can't let it and how he was with you, make you."
She sat thinking about that a moment and then looked up at Shawn saying, "You let your father's words, deeds, direct you, make you. Maybe even, made you rebel a bit, do something, you now regret? Right?"
Shawn felt heat steel over him, so much so that he turned red on the spot. Once more, he felt frozen, turning warmer by the moment.
She decided to go on and get it out now, "Last night, we found out, that Deidre's father, Mr. Wherrington, doesn't like you."
Shawn couldn't speak, he only nodded as if to say, go on.
"He uh, had quite a bit to drink - which made him, insulting about you - to Ben."
Finally he spoke, "You saying he harassed Ben, you?"
"No no, just - he was mouthing off to Ben."
"What did he say to him?"
"He - he insulted you and said that - you - did porn."
Shawn thought he would burst into flames, such shame raced over him. For her to know that, for his son, to know that - coming from Oscar T. Wherrington - was like getting punched painfully in the stomach, he literally felt ill. His heart felt lodged in his throat. "He - he said that to Ben?"
"Yes, and Ben, well - a bit upset over it, he told me."
"I see."
"He said, you were part of a team, Chocolate and Vanilla Swirl - told Ben to look it up, to see for himself."
"I see."
Crystal could tell by the look on his face that it was true, he was now, having a hard time looking at her. Seeing him like that, again, she wished she could have kept it to herself. He reached up and stroked both hands over his head and then down over his face. "Jesus Christ!" He gasped, struggling with the magnitude of it.
"Papah-Shawn... does - my mother know?" She asked, worried.
He finally looked at her, red as could be, veins standing out on his forehead and neck from the strain and stress of what hearing it was doing to him, his eyes were turning red. "Yes." He answered, it seemed to be forced up from his chest. "I told her - before we were married. Thanks to Deidre's mother, I had little choice."
"That's all that matters then, that she knows, no one else matters."
"Yeah! It does matter! What you think of me right now matters! What Ben thinks of me, matters, and Mundo, does he know?"
"No, I don't think so, unless - well, Ben tells him. I don't think he will, it's not something he wants to - get around."
"Jesus Christ!" Shawn reached up grabbing his hair, his heart pounding like mad.
"Papah-Shawn, it doesn't matter. My mother knew and still trusted you to marry you, that's good enough for me. And Ms Wherrington, rather, Deidre, she - she said you were really really young then, younger than Ben, she said - whoever you were then, that is not the man you are now. I happen to agree."
"She told you that?"
"So - you didn't know, they knew?"
"Her yes, them, no, but with Mr. Wherrington and the bitch! I'm not surprised."
"Deidre defended you. She told us please not to hold your past against you. She trusts you, my mother trusts you and I - trust you."
"Thank you for that pumkin', I guess I should thank her as well. I just want you to know, that she's right, I left home way back then, arrogant, resentful and angry - out to - jeez, get back at my father. I rebelled, thus, all my lessons in life, learned the hard way. Despite it all, I don't want you ever thinking, you can't trust me."
"I do trust you, and as for the rest, I can relate to that. But look at it now, because here you sit in regret. As for me, I don't wanna look back on my life and regret. I don't want to feel ashamed of myself, for anything done now. I made the mistake of falling for Victor, getting pregnant and then, marrying him to try and make my wrong right. I'm not going to follow that up, by making another quick decision based simply on, feelings. They can get you into so much trouble, you know?"
Gazing at her with proud eyes, Shawn nodded, "Yeah, I know. God I wish, you were mine - you are such a beautiful little girl."
Crystal blushed, "I'm on my way to divorce court, mother of two, I'm hardly a little girl."
"You are to me, a little girl, and yes, a young woman. He doesn't deserve you as his daughter, but then, maybe I don't either."
"Come on now Papah-Shawn, too late for that. We're a family right? What we are, was meant to be. What we need, you do all you can to give. When you need, we'll do all we can to give back, right?"
He nodded, "You betcha, you betcha."
* * *
Oscar T. sat in the back by the pool nursing a hangover; the last thing he needed was to see his, may be daughter charging back there with her bodyguard. When he glanced up through his sunglasses to see them crossing the the lawn by the gate towards him, he groaned.
"Yes, it's me, and a good morning to you as well! I can imagine how happy you are to see me, I mean, the two of us in the same place two days in a row, go figure?" Deidre started off sarcastically. She was a totally different person of late, when dealing with her parents, now that her eyes had been opened, she realized the only way to deal with them, was the way she knew the Wherringtons dealt.
"What do you want?" Oscar T. groaned. He saw no reasons for pretense, since her moving out, blocking them from seeing her, and hiring a bodyguard. She'd set the tone for how they would be towards one another. The fact that he'd tried to have her killed didn't plague his mind one bit, since he'd not succeeded, it was as if the deed or event had never taken place as far as he was concerned. Nor, did she know that he'd tried to have her killed - so he could see no reason for her treating him as she did. After all, setting her up had not been personal, it had just seemed the wiser course before he knocked Georgiana off or had her committed. The point was, if the money then went to Deidre, all that he'd set out
to do would be a waste of time, that had been the only reason he set her up, had it not been, that she would block him from getting the inheritance left from Georgiana's demise, he would have never done it. Subsequently, he resented her behavior towards him, it was blatant disrespect, as far as she knew, he was her father, whether he was or not. She was sitting down facing him under the patio table parasol, her bodyguard right at her back. That was another thing he resented, her standing guard over Deidre in his home as if she had something to fear being there.
Their under butler, Bingham came over to Deidre and Charlie with refreshments, Charlie waved him off, not interested. Deidre nodded and smiled, accepting a glass of ice tea. "Thank you." She smiled, turning back to her father.
Oscar T. looked at her as if she had nerve making herself comfortable, "I like how we're barred from your premises, but you'll mosey on into ours, make yourself at home, as if you haven't spent the last so many months, treating your mother and I like crap on your shoe! Your mother, I understand, but why me?"
"That's not why I'm here, father..." She mocked the parent title, "... I'm here because we have a bit of a problem. What you did last night, I fear, shows how out of control you are. So I want you to brace yourself, because this is not a - I just thought I'd drop by - visit. What you did to that young girl, at the ball last night - was absolutely repulsive! Have you lost all sense of decency?! I cannot believe that you're my father! But as you put it so eloquently last night, with that person whom I must claim as my mother, maybe not! Even so - what you did should have been reported to the police, charges should have been brought against you. But you sewed that up, by dragging Shawn in to cover you up! Just goes to show how low you are and can be.-..."
"You done yet?" He asked bristling, sitting straighter in his seat.
"No, not by a long shot-..."
"Listen here you, don't you come here jumping on me to defend him! When are you going to shake yourself loose from running behind him-..."
"Sorry father, you've got it all wrong! I have a new interest you see, a Jeremiah Franklin - ah yes ... I see that has gotten your attention! Yes, we spend quite a bit of time together, and it's funny, with all of that time, we're doing a lot of talking, remembering things. And the one thing that we both get hung up on, is his mother'ssuicide? For some reason, he doesn't believe that she did - commit suicide that is, what do you think? Yes yes yes, you said you were in love with her, but - how did she feel about you? And, considering all of the things Dt. Johnson and Gleason are finding, just think what it would be like if I start having a definite feeling, that my father, plotted to have me killed."
"You're insane!" Oscar T. blasted her, sitting forward in his seat.
"Am I? Am I really? Or - are you insane? Greed can do that to you, you know. Can make you insane enough to kill your daughter off and then, your wife - or - just have her committed, let's face it, it would hardly take much and that would leave you with lots and lots of money... wouldn't it father? Not too hard to imagine, after all - it is what they call motive."
Oscar T. sat glaring at her, turning red while trying to control his breathing.
"Yes, I've done quite a bit of thinking. Remembering. My eyes are open, father ... my eyes are open, and - they'll be watching you - closely. From this day forward, I don't want Shawn's name, his past, to slip through your lips ever, again. You understand? Or I will have quite the day with the police, with the media, with my mother. Yes, even her. Because something tells me, she is the lesser of you two evils. She's just a whore, you on the other hand ... you're greedy - that - makes you dangerous." She paused, looking at her untouched tea, she stood pushing it towards him. "Thanks for the tea, but you can have it - who knows what might be in there. Before I go, remember, the main point today is, you forget about Shawn, understand? Otherwise, I am going to have to show you, what a bitch - I can be. I grew up in the midst of you two, don't forget that, and I've learned my lessons well - from the best. Something about - almost dying - that snaps you out of your dream world. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm expecting Jeremiah, and we're taking my daughter out before we take her back to her father. Watch your step old man." She turned strolling away, calling back to him, "Watch your step."
Charlie looked down at him like he'd rolled out of the gutter. "Yes... do, 'cause I ain't shot a motherfucker in a long time - and I'm itchin' baby - just incase, got yo'name on a bullet baby, just incase."
"Charlie!" Deidre called from the gate.
"I'm comin'!" She answered and looked back at Oscar T. "Call your boys, tell'em chill - 'cause money, ain't good for shit - when you dead! Okay?" She nodded, winked and strolled off to a waiting Deidre. Walking up to her, the two headed for the car where Samuel waited, "He guilty as hell, I can smell it on his ass! He need to be reported any goddamn way for last night." Charlie grumbled through tight teeth.
"Charlie, Shawn would lose it if he got wind of it, I just want him to leave Shawn alone, leave me alone."
"Well hopefully, he'll chill after today, if not - shit gone get nasty. Hell, I ain't too sure if your daughter better off here, or with her daddy."
"I just want her safe, that's all."
"Yeah well, you need to do like I say, learn to defend yourself, learn how to shoot, because when it comes down to it Dee-Dee, can't nobody guard your ass, better than you! We live in a shitty world baby. Shitty when you poor, and shitty if you too goddamn rich! That would be you!"
"Thank you for reminding me Charlie." Deidre murmured stepping into the open door of the limo.
"No problem Dee-Dee, that's what I'm here for."
* * *
It had been a long time since Sylvia had attended church, standing with Mama JoJo brought a lot back to her about going. Mama JoJo's church was majority black, a few white in attendance who were women, with their black children, obviously their partners were black. Of the three present, only one stood with her husband and kids. They made eye contact, Sylvia smiled at her, it was returned, and she turned back to listen to the sermon. Sitting there, listening, she couldn't believe how what the preacher was saying fit into her life and relationship with Shawn. It was about the times they were living in, and how in this time, natural affection would cool off. Simple things like a mother's love for her child, cooling off. The love, honor and respect for ones parents, cooling off. It flowed from one thing to another, with a few scriptures shared and how man was to be with one another. All she could think of was that Shawn should be there.
In the time they'd been together, all there was to know about him had come to light. He was certainly not, what she thought he was. It amazed her how men could dawn a cloak of charming, laid back and at ease. Bringing about smiles, gladness and a quickening of the heart, when all along, what they truly were, was held back and waiting, waiting for the day you said your vows and became his. Then, the real man slowly began to emerge, to stand clear from the cloak of darkness and secret.
It had happened twice in her life.
So much for avoiding drama.
Yet, knowing what she did about him, she realized that she had to figure out a way of dealing with such a man. Dealing with his way of thinking. Dealing with his temper and aggressiveness. He was certainly that, aggressive - because he was such an emotional person. By nature, Sylvia knew she was gentle, and preferred a gentler man, not worked up and overcome by the need to exert himself in confrontational matters. She wondered if it was in her - that something that seemed to attract men like Shawn in her life? What held her heart to him was that he could be gentle. He was gentle with the girls, Angela and Crystal, he was gentle with Mama JoJo, he was gentle with her, unless she crossed him. She thought about their wedding night, and about the night Shanna's husband had been lurking around their home and she'd gone out there. Nope - he hadn't been too gentle then. She sighed, he'd been afraid, shocked - feeling she'd taken away his control of the matter. That was another thing about him, he wanted to be in control of everything and everyone. No one was free of it, if he considered
them, his. She sat in church that Sunday morning, thinking and praying, asking God above for help, guidance and wisdom to deal with this man, her husband. There was no sense in her dwelling on what she thought he was at the beginning, because the cloak had fallen away.
The baby stirred while she sat thinking of his father, he was gaining in size and becoming very active. With her hand on her mound, feeling the movement of her tummy, and the lumps and bumps that shifted below the surface, she thought about Shawn. If he was this way now, what would he be like when this one was born? Being in a relationship with a man like Shawn was stressful. Some how, she had to learn how to keep her peace when dealing with him. What she had to keep upper most in her mind was that, Bart had turned him into the sometimes monster that he could be. He'd heaped too much upon him and no matter what, Shawn would not lay his burdens down, he refused. As Sylvia sat there, she realized that her husband, hadn't a clue of how to lay them down. Instead, he was a man on a long road, shoulders bearing a mighty load, who would stop, see someone else at the side needing help and he would say, 'Here, I've got room, put on it on me, and climb on - I'll get you there.' Seeing him that way, understanding that about him, made tears roll from Sylvia's eyes because, how much longer, could he go on like that, before he finally dropped to his knees.
"Lord God, our Father, why did you pick me - to be with this man?" She sat wondering.
At the closing of church, Sylvia had the driver take Mama JoJo grocery shopping. She made sure, that Mama JoJo got plenty of everything she needed and then some. To really stock up well, especially on dry goods. That too, came from her husband - he wanted to make sure that Mama JoJo was seen to. As his wife, she would see to it that his wishes were carried out and then some, so she would not let Mama JoJo go for less. Sylvia knew what Shawn was doing. He knew that once Mama JoJo was back home, her granddaughter might possibly show up with her kids, he was making sure there would be plenty enough so as not to burden Mama JoJo. By the time they finished shopping, Mama JoJo would only have to buy fresh goods such as perishables later on after what they purchased ran out; as for can goods, jar foods and dry goods, she was stocked up until they came to get her, even if she was feeding Corliss and hers.
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