BOMAW 10-12

by Mercedes Keyes

  * * *

  Friday Morning...

  "Get!" Shawn kicked out at the seagull that woke him as he lay in the back of the Hummer with the back up, the sun shining down on him and the ocean breeze washing the surf against the rocks nearby. The squealing outcries of seagulls calling out over and over, some landing near him searching for a possible toss of leftover food and waste. One with enough nerve to land on his shin to walk on his leg and into the Hummer where he was now waking up. Scattered around him, empty cans of Old Style and a pint bottle of whiskey, with three fourths of it gone. He groaned with his hand going to his face, running over it. He felt the rough stubble of needing a shave badly. Pulling himself into a sitting position, he looked around him with bleary eyes, feeling like shit. So much for his determination not to drink again, he thought to himself. Good thing he had kept that to himself, since it hadn't lasted a day. Next to him were the keys to the Hummer, he shook his head at himself. Realizing how lucky he was not to have been robbed and the Hummer stolen from him. He'd crashed that hard, that anyone could have stripped him naked and he would have never known it. He slowly came to his feet, walked a bit away from the Hummer and emptied his bladder. Moving slow, he cleaned up his beer cans scattered about, placing them in a bag, put everything in the backseat on the floor, climbed into the Hummer and started it. The clock on the dash read, 08:45, sitting still with it running, looking at the time, he thought about his wife and the fact that he hadn't called her, hadn't left a word with her since he left home yesterday. "Shit, aaah baby - I'm sorry, so sorry." He groaned, feeling like crying all over again. He still didn't know what to do, nor what he would say to her for staying gone all night long. Part of him wanted to go back to see his daughter again. Part of him felt that he needed to go home; the part that won, lead him to Mama JoJo. When he pulled up in front of her home and parked, she'd been sitting on the porch looking for him, so it would seem, because when he stepped out of the Hummer, she was up out of her seat and to the door, opening it for him.

  "Where you been? Huh? Yo' wife done call here last night, lookin' fo' you, three times." She fussed as he made his way towards her, looking sheepish and ashamed of himself. "Chile I tell you the truth, get in this house - been drinkin' I see. What done got hol'o'you so you wonderin' round, lookin' lost?" She asked, moving aside for him to enter.

  "She mad at me?" He asked.

  "Worr'd, sca'd somethin' done happen to you." She answered.

  He sighed and looked up to see Corliss standing in the door looking at him.

  "You look like you back from the dead, what's going on wit'ya'll?" She asked.

  Mama JoJo was on her instantly, "Don't you worr' 'bout him, you on yo' way out, remember?"

  "Mama JoJo ain't no need for all that. I swear sometime you act like he more your child than me." She grumbled, heading for the door, passing Shawn on the way. He stood saying not a word, he wasn't in the mood to deal with her, instead, he made his way into the house, towards the kitchen, and then the sink where he stood drinking down one glass of water after another. He heard a, "Hey." behind him, and turned briefly to find Corliss' son standing in the kitchen door looking at him. He was dressed as most youth's, clothes hanging off of him, pants far longer than they should be. He had a Spanish look about him, due to having a white, or Spanish father; when it came to Corliss, there was no telling which. She had a daughter as well that stepped forward behind her brother, looking at him, and then went on her way, she hadn't a word to say. She was pretty much all black, a duplication of her mother, but young, fresh and pretty - her personality on the other hand, was questionable. Shawn cracked a smile for her son, along with a nod. Polite, he lifted a hand and made his way towards the door, where Corliss was waiting for them, which her loud, rude call to him confirmed.

  After about six glasses of water, Shawn turned to lean against the kitchen counter when Mama JoJo entered the room. She pointed at the phone on the wall, "Call her." She ordered firmly. Shawn winced, "I'm a chicken." He confessed.

  Mama JoJo grinned, "Tha's okay, call anyway, take it like a man!"

  He looked at the phone, as if it were a snake that might bite him if he didn't handle it carefully. Taking a deep breath, he looked back at Mama JoJo, "Can I - take a shower first? Maybe, you could call her for me? Let her know I'm okay, that I'll be home soon?"

  Mama JoJo stood a moment, gazing at him, then finally, "Gon' chile, get in'na shower, I'll call her."

  "Thank you." He walked into the bathroom, stripped down and got into the shower right away. His mind fighting what he knew he must do, go home. Not because he didn't want to go home, that wasn't the problem, the problem was going home without his daughter and explaining to his wife, why - they had to leave her there. It was that, he kept putting off. It was eating him up inside. By the time he came out of the bathroom, feeling better, Mama JoJo informed him.

  "I ain' talk to yo'wife, but ha' daughter, she say she let her mama know you okay."

  "Thank you."

  "Naw come on over here and tell Mama JoJo wha's going on, keep you out all night, drinkin'."

  Shawn went to the kitchen table taking a seat as she went about fixing him something to eat. He sat leaning forward, elbows on his knees, peering through the floor boards. She gave him a moment as she put on grits, took out sausage, and got them started, "Come on, let's hear it." She urged him. Inhaling deep and long, letting it out, Shawn finally explained what was going on. She listened attentively as always - saying nothing until he finished and fell quiet. "Get the eggs for me sugga'." She directed him, not yet ready to comment on what he'd shared. He rose right away, getting them, and the pan she always used for fixing eggs. He went in the cabinet next for a bowl, because Mama JoJo only liked scrambled eggs, and when he ate with her, that's what he ate as well. He cracked enough eggs for them, added the salt and pepper scrambling them as she took out plates; cups for their coffee. In no time they were at the table eating together, both of them thinking, comfortable with each other.

  Shawn was leaning on his knuckles, elbow on the table, forcing the breakfast down when Mama JoJo finally spoke up about the matter at hand. "You know what I'm thankin'?"

  "I'd like to."

  "I'm thankin', you done did every-thang, and gone to everybody, but the one person, you shudda' gone to - yo' wife?"

  Shawn palmed his face, stroking and squeezing his temples.

  "Right or wrong?" She pressed.

  Spoken soft and low, he nodded, "Right."

  "So, what you thank goin' through her mind, right now?"

  "Mama JoJo, I was such a mess last night, I didn't want to go home the way I was."

  "Listen here you, I'on wanna hear that! You a married man - two times! Somethin' this important - you gone just shut her out? Now I know you a grown man, but Mama JoJo gone tell you the truth, you wantin' to hear it or not. As for that baby, I don't know what the best thang is. I know what she mean to'ya. I ain't neva' seen no man like you, wit'no babies, I swear I ain't. And I done known some men love they chil'ren, but you, you got a powerful somethin' in you about yo'babies, I know that from watchin' you with her, when you bring her here, so I know what this doin' to'ya. Even so, yo'wife, shudda been the first you bring in to help figga' this out."

  "Mama JoJo - how do I look at my wife and ask for help, when I know there's nothing she can do about it? I don't want to stress her with this."

  "Chile, it's too late for that! By doin' what you done did, you done upp'd the stress for her, tenfol'! You got to learn in life, if there be a will, the Lord always make a way. Man so silly, wantin' to always trus' in his own power, insteada tappin' into the Lord's. Insteada goin' off half-cock - you need t'learn to stop, breathe and pray - you can save a lot of heartache by doin' that first."

  Shawn sat a moment thinking about her words, looking up at her, he gave a sad smile. "I can't wait to have you with me Mama JoJo. I can't wait to get you there; you there, I won't have any choice, but to behave."

  "You got that ri
ght!" Mama JoJo grinned, winking at him. "I said I'm comin', Mama JoJo be there for you. You got to learn though, not to get so worked up, you make thangs more difficult than they need to be."

  Shawn sighed running his hand over his face, through his short crop cut and knew that she was right. Sitting before her, now that the heat of madness had died down and he could think rationally, he couldn't help but wonder why his reactions were so strong? When it came to protecting family, if faced with a threat, he couldn't be reasoned with - the notion of anyone hurting someone that was in his family, triggered an auto-response that was aggression filled. It was like a blindness came over him to simply strike and end the threat, immediately! Last night when there was no specific target in view to correct the matter right then, right there, immediately, it ripped through him. This time, the target might be his daughter. Not only might she be under threat, she would be taken from him, to assure her safety. His very make-up went into a malfunction overheat as it were because he could not complete to the end what stood between them. Now, hours later, it was time to go home. After a night of drinking and sobbing alone - it still did nothing to quail the unrest in his stomach. Again, why? He couldn't help but wonder, why his reactions to things gripped his very core and wouldn't let him go until the matter was done! It wasn't done, in fact, he felt the matter was now worse, because he would have to face his wife. Perhaps he wouldn't feel so torn apart if the matter had been resolved so that all that was left was facing his wife. It was like getting ready to be scolded for something not yet done. Thus, now, it was a double dilemma.

  He sat back in the chair, watching Mama JoJo as she gathered things to do the dishes. He stood helping her, needing to delay just a bit longer. As Shawn stalled, something else occurred to him about himself, he was afraid of his wife. She caused an anxiety in him that made him fear the consequences of his actions once brought to her. It hurt to know, that the very core of him that he feared he could never change, she hated. Now, with Angela possibly having to stay there with all that surrounded it, he feared losing it again - he couldn't get his mind around leaving her behind - but to protect the rest of the family, he was forced. The thought of it again, almost doubled him over once more, like a shot to the gut that was on repeat. That kept running up against thoughts of Sylvia and slamming into what he seemed to keep bringing her.

  Problems. Stress. Drama. It would seem, none ending.

  He knew more deeply than anyone, that Sylvia had wanted to avoid men, HIM - in order to keep free of those very things, and yet - being with him, he knew he was causing her more. Now this - now this. His stomach hurt, he struggled not to cry again. The worry too that he often faced came at him along with the rest, it seemed impossible for him because of the way he was, to make a woman happy. More than anyone, this woman - happy. He thought about Derrick, and what she said about him. While his reaction had been strong, a bit put off, the truth was, there had been many times in his life, that he wished, he could be more like Derrick. Even with his minor problem, which had been easy to fix - he was the kind of man, that made women happy in the long run. After all, look how long he'd been married to Meribel. There marriage was rock solid, able to withstand any trials - because of the way Derrick was. Unlike himself, who could draw women yes indeed he could, but he could of yet, keep one. Even Jake, with the way he acted, could keep a woman, more than one, better than he could. Again, Shawn fought back tears facing the fact that he was his own enemy, and couldn't grasp why, long enough to change it.

  Mama JoJo must have been paying more attention to him than he realized. Because all of sudden, she had his hand in hers, leading him from the kitchen to her living-room, where she sat on the sofa and pulled him down beside her, saying something that made the damn within him burst wide open, "Lord, the bigger and stronger they are, the harder they fall. Come on baby, Mama JoJo understand, get it out."

  Shawn hated it, that she could do this so easily, he sat next to her, his face hidden in his hands, fingers digging into his eyes. "I keep, screwing up - like this - Mama JoJo - she's - she's going to get fed up - and leave me - I just know it."

  "Leave you for what, for this?" She asked, robbing his back to calm him, sooth him.

  "Not just this, there's more - it keeps adding up, she'll have enough one day - you know what they say about the straw, on the camel's back." He sniffed, wiping at his eyes, looking to Mama JoJo, a sad smile despite his red eyes.

  "I don't believe that; I thank she love you, but either way, you know Mama JoJo here for you, always been here, from d'day, my Jesse James bring you in'the doah'. Ain't I been."

  Shawn nodded, blowing out to calm himself, wiping at his face. He felt like a little boy afraid to go home and face his punishment. As he sat trying to pull himself together, he had a nagging feeling, that there was something seriously wrong with him. Something trapped deep in the core of him, that kept making him want to weep - but he was a man, there should be no such feelings from deep within. He sucked it up, wiped his face and smiled brighter at Mama JoJo, reaching over, he hugged her, "What would I do if I didn't have you?"

  "Whatever you have to t'make it, like any otha' man."

  Shawn held her for a spell more, not so sure about that, she was the only remaining blood link to Jesse James, he wasn't sure he could handle it if Mama JoJo wasn't there for him. That's why he was determined, to bring her into his home, as soon as possible.

  * * *

  Having only slept a few hours - Sylvia was up with the sun. She woke Mundo and Ben because they wanted to go with her.

  At exactly 07:00am - she was at Deidre's door. They were shown into the smaller library downstairs, right away to wait for her. Sylvia was mostly quiet, trying to sort out all the things on her mind. Once she passed the hurt of realization concerning Shawn, the more urgent priority floated to the surface within her. She knew her husband, there was no way he could live with leaving his daughter behind, not now - no not now. Therefore, she was not only there for Angela, but for the very soul survival of her father. She could not stand idly by and just let this happen. Had no plans on doing so anyway, she'd looked into that little girls eyes and made a promise to her. Between the two of them, Sylvia knew that regardless of what Shawn did the night before, this matter had to be resolved and only one way - there was no other way - meaning; leaving Angela Rae McPherson behind. With the fix of his dilemma weighing heavy on her mind, she never heard Deidre's butler bring in freshly baked, croissants, Danish, fruit filled muffins, juice, milk and coffee for them while they waited.

  Needing no spurring, the hungry Mundo and Ben were right on the large platter placed on the side board. Because Sylvia stood at one of the windows, preoccupied, Ben grabbed one of the small silver cake plates with the lace paper doily liner and placed a large buttery croissant on it, pouring her a glass of juice, he took it to her. "Here, we didn't have breakfast, gotta see about my little brother." He simpered.

  Sylvia turned to him, stunned to see him standing there, then down at what he offered her, it took a moment for his his words to sink in; smiling she took them, "Thank you."

  "Everything is going to be all right you know?" He assured her.

  "It has to be Ben, because we can't leave here without her."

  "And we won't. We'll put our heads together and figure something out. I know we can."

  Sylvia stood looking into his eyes, so much like his father's eyes. For just a brief moment, she wished her daughter had met him first. She loved her grandsons, had come to care a great deal about Victor - but in truth, he might not be what she needed. With things as they were, she knew it was silly and immature to wish for things that at this moment, could not be.

  "My husband hasn't a clue of how lucky he is, to now have you." She complimented him.

  "Nor how lucky to have you." He countered.

  "Thank you. No hard feelings about the other night?"

  "Of course not." He assured her.

  Mundo walked to them with a look of heavenly bliss on his
face, carrying an extra blueberry muffin. "Mama, ah man, ah man, you gotta try one of these bad mugs here! This the real deal here, I ain't even tryin' to play wit'cha. We need to fin'out where she get these, tha's straight up!"

  Sylvia softly chuckled at him, "I'm bettin' she has a cook that rolls them out for her first thing."

  "Can we have one mama, huh, can we?"

  Ben and Sylvia laughed.

  "For real man, closest we can get to stuff like this be a doggone Twinkie! Reduce priced at that! Naw naw naw - from now on, this here Negro want fresh baked - early in the morning, sun come up. Gimme my muffin! I'on wanna hear the news! I'on wanna know what day it is! What time it is, just pass me the muffins and talk to me in a minute!"

  Sylvia laughed even more, "Boy you need to stop being so crazy!"

  "Crazy? Naw naw, taste this muffin, here - take a bite of that, tell me I'm crazy!"

  Needing the distraction, Sylvia took a bite out of the muffin her son held for her to try. "Now tell me I'm lyin'? Tell me I'm lyin'? Sorry mama, I'fix'in'ta cuss! Brace yo'self, that's the shit right there! Ain't it, aaah yeah, see, see - ain't no other word for it. They got, they got cranber-r-ry - blueber-r-ry - an', an' some, dark cherry. We gone take all them! Oh yeah, we is! Come on ya'll fin' a bag or somethin', some paper, wrap them mugs up - we get tossed out, they goin' wit' us!"