BOMAW 10-12

by Mercedes Keyes

  "Me included!" Angela spoke up saying, her arms crossed over her flat chest, looking into her father's eyes.

  "Yep, her included - that you're not going to give Deidre, or Sylvia a hard time about this, because you don't get to do it by yourself. We've all figured you out, that you think you have to do everything, carry everything all your own. Not this time. This time, the load is just a bit too big, even for your shoulders. This ruling, this decision, has been a family decision, and anything you might say or feel, has been over-ruled. End of discussion." Ben finished.

  "End of discussion." Mundo repeated.

  "End - of - discussion." Crystal emphasized.

  Angela looked at him, "I don't need to say it do I daddy?"

  Shawn sat fully, and completely chastised by his children. And it never felt so good.

  "Well?" They all asked at the same time.

  "End of discussion." Shawn softly agreed. "So-o-o is your mother in on this sit-down you all have just given me?"

  "Nope." Ben answered for everyone.

  "Soon as we got home, she dragged herself up to bed. She doesn't know about this discussion or conclusion." Crystal supplied.

  "I see." He was looking at the floor and then he looked up at each of them. "I'm sorry I put you all through that, I just-..."

  "Dad, we know you." Mundo cut him off speaking up. "You've taken us on as your family, but in your mind, you don't think we've taken you on, Angela on. We had a good long talk about it, us four. Me, Ben, Crystal and Angela. It's not true. You, dad; Angela - dad; are just as much apart of us, as you've made us, a part of you. If that wasn't so, you wouldn't have been in so much torture and torment last night. And - you would have come home, and called your family together - and told us what the problem was, so we - as a family could fix it, could figure it out. So, don't apologize to us, just - don't let it happen again."

  Shawn felt his face set on fire, because facing it, he couldn't deny it.

  Angela stood from his lap, leaned over and kissed his cheek and then ordered him, "Upstairs with you now, we're done with you."

  Shawn made a face of disbelief.

  "Yeah, you came in, in the middle of our game! And you lil'missy, owe me - the banker some money, or you 'bout to get tossed out! Skid'row don'cha know!"

  Shawn stood as his daughter took her seat back. He slowly backed away, a funny feeling in his chest. He couldn't believe that he'd been thoroughly chastised. Neither of them were paying him anymore attention, they'd had their say with him and he was duly dismissed. The lesson that he was suddenly learning was a pretty tough one to swallow, but swallow it he must, because now, looking at things from their point of view, he realized how wrong he had been without meaning to be. Turning away from them, he realized he still had to face his wife.

  He took a deep breath and headed for the stairs.

  He knew she would be giving him a good chewing out, and after coming home to this truth, he supposed he certainly deserved it. Funny thing was, going up the stairs, he felt eighty percent lighter on his feet. Lighter because for once in his life, he actually felt, that he wasn't alone and had to work out everything all on his own. He couldn't get over the fact, that the most important people in his life, weren't all sitting on him, waiting for him to get up and carry the whole load and burden alone. He couldn't believe the anguish he'd put himself through for the last hours - needlessly! He wasn't sure of how he should feel being humbled by his own kids, but they had, they'd humbled him and taught him a lesson that he should have been teaching them.

  He was at his bedroom door, slowly, softly he turned the knob and first peaked in. Sylvia was laying on her side, under the covers up to her waist. He stared at her a moment and then eased into the room, closing the door softly behind him. He was tempted to climb on the bed, but if she was asleep, he didn't want to wake her. Instead, he opted to step carefully around the end of the bed, talking his shoes off as he went. From the end of the bed, at the corner of the side where she lay, he peaked over some to see her face, her eyes were closed. He then stepped further along the bed, and finally he knelt there beside her, staring into her face. He was trying to determine if she was sleeping or not, when she sniffed and a tear rolled from the inner corner of her eye and over the high bridge of her nose, heading for the other eye. With her eyes closed, another sniff, she reached up and wiped the tear away.

  He exhaled and his inner diaphragm and stomach seemed to collapse in on him.

  She was awake.

  "I'm home." He whispered.

  She sniffed, "I know." She whispered back, her eyes still closed.

  Shawn swallowed the lump of sorrow in his throat, "You mad at me?" He asked in the soft whisper.

  "No."

  "Not even a little bit?"

  "No, not even a little bit." She returned, still in the soft whisper.

  "Why won't you open your eyes, look at me."

  "I'm just tired Shawn. Trying to wait for you to come home. Now you're here, I can go to sleep." More tears seeped from her closed lids.

  He reached over and caught a tear, "If you're not mad at me, why are you crying?" He moved closer to the bed, to ask, leaning on it, his face not far from hers.

  "No reason, I need some sleep, once I - get some sleep, I'll be fine." She murmured softly.

  "Don't you want to yell at me? Scream at me, call me an idiot! Tell me how inconsiderate I am! That I didn't call! That I should have come home! That I should have told you what was happening, so that we could figure it out, as a husband and wife! Don't you have anything to say to me!? To make me feel like shit for putting you through this?!" He whispered passionately, his own eyes welled up with tears.

  "No, I don't, I just wanna get some sleep, that's all."

  "Well I want you to know, that I do feel like shit! Our kids just told me off grand style! And I deserved it! Now, I need you to just get this all out in the open - go off on me, tell me off now - so we can move on!"

  Sylvia rolled to her back, opened her eyes to look up at him, doing so, made more tears, heavier tears roll from her eyes. "I have nothing to say to you Shawn..." She stopped, thinking about it, and then changed her mind, "No... I do have something to say to you."

  "Ah, I knew it, okay - let me have it, I deserve it, get it all out!" He gazed right into her eyes, ready for it.

  "I'm sorry, that - I haven't been, the kind of wife to you - that should have made you feel, that you could come home to me with this. I thought about it, all night long. I was so scared, that something - was going to happen to you - and if it had - I would have never - been the same. And I kept thinking, praying, God please please please - bring my husband home to me, safe - and sound, I promise, I will do better - just - bring him home to me. When I woke up, and you weren't home yet - I knew - I knew I had to get her back here, not just because of her - but - because - finally, I've got a man, who loves - his children. How could I be mad at you, when I knew, you were going crazy, afraid of losing your baby, how could I be mad at you?" She sobbed.

  Shawn grabbed her into his arms, lifting himself up on the bed, holding her tightly in his arms. Rocking and crying with her, he swore over and over, "I'm so sorry, baby - I'm so sorry! It was me, I'm the one who was wrong! And there is not one thing - about my wife, about you - I would change, not - one - thing! Why do you think I'm madly in love with you? Hmmm?" He kissed her salty, wet cheeks, all over her face, to her lips, rocking and holding her. "I'm such a goddamn fool! Such a damn fool! Godalmighty, for the things that I've done, why'd you give me this woman, why this one?"

  Sylvia held him just as tightly, she hadn't meant to cry, but when she heard his voice in the house, the relief had been so overwhelming, all she could do was cry. "All I ask, please, all I ask, is that you - please don't - stay gone all night - like that again - I can't take it. It scares me so bad, anything could happen to you, I can't-..."

  "Shhh sh sh sh, never again. I swear to you, never ever again! You have my word, I will never put you through this aga
in! Sylvia I love you so much! My Sylvie - my Sylvie - never stop loving me, never stop loving me."

  "You silly man, it's too late for that now - way too late." She murmured against his neck, sniffling as they held each other.

  "Here, lay down now. I'm home, I'm home baby. Mind if I crawl in next to you?"

  "Please - I need you next to me, hold me, so I can get some sleep."

  "No problem baby, I'm not going anywhere." He moved onto his side of the bed, closest to the door, turning to his side, he pulled her into his arms to spoon with her, holding her right against him, their heads sharing the same pillow, he stroked and soothed her, his hand going to her protruding tummy on and off, as if checking on his son. Both of them calming down, still sniffing now and then, but he wasn't about to move, in fact, just as she dropped off to sleep, he dropped off with her, both of them worn out from the hectic event, having grown even closer as one, because of it. They indeed, as a couple, were now stronger.

  * * *

  Chapter 267

  Chicago...

  "Where are you lil'girl?"

  "I'm at Sheila's - where you think?" Vivian joked, grinned, feeling a sensation of dread as well excitement.

  "Where do I think?" He mocked shaking his head smiling, talking while pulled up at a truck stop. "I take that to mean, all is packed up and sitting at the door right? So when I get there, we just have to load up and pull out? Is that correct?"

  "Ja-a-ake! We have to say goodbye to Dennis and Sheila before we go!"

  "On the way out!"

  "Ja-a-ake! Can't you just stop for the night, we pull out first thing in-..."

  "No! I'll be at work first thing in the morning! Get home and get everything left coming with us, packed up and ready to go - I'm stopping only to eat and load up! That's that!"

  "I done told you about telling me, that's that!"

  "That - is - that! Where's my son?"

  Vivian sat with her lip rolled out, pouting, sulking with a face on, in no hurry to answer him. Sheila stood by laughing quietly at her, shaking her head.

  "Vivian! Where's Paul?!" he asked a second time.

  "Working!" She finally responded grumpily.

  "Working? Where? He should be helping you get things ready to go."

  "He's finishing up at that last place he was working at, helping that lady."

  "All this time? What the hell has he been doing?"

  "Helping her out I guess." She returned saucily.

  "I'm telling you now, I'm not gonna have any bullshittin' around! We're back on the road, tonight! If you don't have all you need packed up, it's getting left!"

  "Oh no it's not!"

  "Then you know what you have to do! I'll be pulling up at, a little after eight o'clock, I figure we'll be back on the road, no later than nine o'clock! Have I made myself clear?"

  "You know what Jacob Patrick McPherson, you ain't my daddy! You gettin' mighty cozy with that Lil'girl business, I'm not your lil'girl!" She sassed, with her head rotating on neck.

  "Oh I'm your daddy all right - and I've spoken! Now get that lil'schweet ass in gear! Tell Dennis and Sheila, we'll be shooting by there on the way out! See you shortly!"

  And he clicked the phone off on her. Vivian turned hers off, looking ornery.

  "Gurl, you might as well give it up! Get your butt up, and get yo'ass ready to roll!" Sheila broke it down to her, shaking her head. "The time has arrived."

  Covering her face, she whimpered out, "I don't wanna go-o-o!"

  "Vivian, is you a grown ass woman, or a little ass girl? What he been calling you?"

  Vivian shot to her feet, after having been on the floor, opening their gifts to show Sheila, "Obviously, you ready for my black ass to depart, so let me gather my shit and go!"

  Sheila started laughing, "You can throw them tantrums all you want, but when you choose your man, whatever life is his, is the life you've chosen! I know you thought you was gone alter him to fit your situation, but it don't always work that way. Now you want me to go help you get packed up or not?"

  "Yeah!" Vivian answered, her lip still rolled out.

  "You gone trip on that lip on the way out! Gurl, you something else, Jake gone have his hands full with your spoiled ass! You talk to your mother and father yet, tell'em you leaving tonight?"

  "No!"

  "Vivian! Why not?"

  "They don't care! Besides, Candace, crack-head ass still living there! My mother ain't even tryin' to like Jake, and my father just like'im to get his basement finished, I'll call'im when I get there, that'll give me something to do."

  "By the sound of that house you moving into, you gone have plenty to do!"

  "Don't remind me Sheila, don't remind me." Vivian whined.

  "Well let's go, get this stuff loaded back on the truck, so I can tell Dennis where I'm off to."

  "I bet this is Vivian." Paul stopped eating to inform Jackie, his phone was vibrating in his pocket. Taking it out, he looked at the small screen, "Oh boy, it's my dad." He click the talk button answering it, "Hey dad, what's up?"

  "Where are you?"

  "Where am I?"

  "You know, when someone asks you a question, the response is usually correct to give an answer, not ask another question."

  "Oh, yeah - I'm at Jackie's still."

  "At - Jackie's?" Jake's brows pinched curious, "Oh, you calling her Jackie now, huh?"

  "Well dad, yeah, that's her name."

  Jackie sat at the table, listening, chewing nervously on her bottom lip.

  "Yeah yeah yeah, well I hope you're done there now, because I'm on my way there, and you're supposed to be with Vivian helping her to get packed so she's ready by the time I get there. So, wrap it up there, done or not, time to go!"

  Paul sighed, looking across the table at Jackie, "Well, I guess I better go then."

  "Yep, I guess you'd better, see you in a bit!"

  "Yeah, see you in a bit." Paul clicked off.

  "It appears, that our time is finally up, huh?"

  Paul lost his appetite to finish his meal, she'd cooked them a gorgeous dinner of Beef Stroganoff and homemade noodles, Asparagus and garlic bread. He couldn't speak. She rose from the table, walking to his side to take his plate, "You want me to wrap some up for you, to take with you?" She asked, her hand on the plate. Paul turned in his seat and grabbed her to him, pressing his face into her midriff, inhaling her incredible scent, his arms around her hips, one hand, cupping and caressing her firm, plump rear. Jackie wrapped her arms around his head and shoulders, leaning over, she hugged him, rubbing his back. "I'll never forget you, Paul." She murmured softly.

  "Please, let me come back to see you." He begged once more.

  "No Paul, we've already had this discussion, this is it. Time for you to move on now, to the next phase in your life."

  He leaned his head back, looking up at her, "What if I want you in the next phase? And in the next phase after that? And after that one too?"

  "I'm married Paul."

  "You're getting a divorce! Remember?"

  "I can't afford a divorce right now Paul."

  "So let me pay for it!?"

  "No Paul, no. And to be honest with you, I don't want a permanent man in my life right now. I need to focus on my kids, myself - clean things up first." She explained, gently caressing his temple, along his hairline. "I took advantage of a good thing, you. What you gave me, I needed in more ways than one. But the act was purely selfish. Even so, I cannot thank you enough, for all of it. What you've done here, in my home - wow! Look at my kitchen!? And the stuff in the rooms, fixing everything you have around here. Including, me. If I could pay you your worth, I'd have to take out a second mortgage on my home and then some."

  "I never asked you for money, Jackie, I just want you."

  "And you got me Paul, and I for one, have never been more pleased, than with you. But you can't keep me."

  His phone vibrated again, he sighed, looking at it, "Vivian..." he stated the obvious. "Hello?" He answered, st
ill holding onto Jackie, looking up at her. "Yeah, I'm ready to go." Jackie stroked along the sides of his eyes. "See you in a minute." He clicked the phone off. She tried to back out of his arms, "Let me wrap this food-.." He cut her off standing to take her into his arms, kissing her hard, deep and stirring. He squeezed her so tightly, she gasped in his mouth, as he continued to devour her, kissing her the way he'd learned to, with a bold sureness that could not be mistaken, he was beyond being an inexperienced virgin, unsure of himself. He kissed her the way a man needs to kiss a woman, he kissed as if he was saying, I love you. Holding him, Jackie felt her eyes misting, and broke away from him, tearing herself out of his arms.

  "Jackie, please!" He growled out, grinding his back teeth.

  "Get your things together, she'll be out there blowing any moment now." She ordered, wiping at her mouth, she quickly gathered plastic dishes to give him the leftover stroganoff, asparagus and bread. Using a stackable set of three for him. Snapping them into place, she added the carrying handle that come with them. He'd exhaled, backed away, giving up. His heart beat like mad as he placed all of his things, tools on her front porch. He'd put them all together long before they sat down to eat. He stood outside, unable to go back in. She came out, "Here you go."

  He turned and took it, unable to leave without it. He couldn't look at her.

  She sighed, "I'm gonna go back in, I don't really wanna be out here, to see you go."

  He looked at her then, started to say something, but changed his mind. He nodded to her instead. She smiled and nodded back. Turning she went into her home, closing the door behind her. Paul took another deep breath, turning his head back to watch down the road. Sure enough, he saw Vivian turn in at the end of the block. Leaning over, he picked up his gear, and trotted down the stairs to meet her in the street.