Diversions

by Leanne Davis

  “Yeah?” he prompted when she didn’t speak.

  “I guess you got what you wanted, didn’t you?”

  He got what he wanted? Losing her? Losing her in a way that made her detest him? How could she really think that? He didn’t answer at first. Did she think he wanted her to lose the baby? Everyone at her table was staring. Her father was starting to rise and her mother had put a hand on Christine’s arm. Christine didn’t seem to notice. Strangers who were between them looked up. He shook his head, wishing they were alone so he could say more. But he truthfully believed nothing would change things.

  His eyebrows lowered in puzzlement. “No, I didn’t get what I wanted.”

  She blinked and frowned at him. With a long last look he turned slowly and walked out, feeling very old, very tired, and very hopeless.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “What are you doing here?”

  Jason whipped around at the sound of Aaron Andrews’ voice behind him. He stopped in mid-reach for his truck handle. He put his hands up as if under arrest. “It was an accident. I was here with my family.”

  His eyebrows rose in disbelief.

  Jason sighed. “My adoptive family. Just... don’t worry about it. I didn’t mean to run into her. I didn’t mean to come near her. It won’t happen again.”

  A few months ago, Jason’s name had been cleared of all criminal offenses. To Jason’s astonishment Terry had followed through looking into Irene’s culpability in what happened to him all those years ago to land him in prison. Now, already awaiting trial for her part in what happened to Christine, Irene had given testimony about the drugs she’d left at Jason’s and against her former boyfriend Phil, and the lies he told about Jason. The authorities had not located Phil, but he was wanted for the assault on Christine. Jason didn’t hold out much hope they’d ever find him. Phil was probably long gone, in prison somewhere else or dead in a ditch from drugs. Or he would be if Aaron Andrews ever found him. Jason secretly hoped that’s what would happen someday because Aaron had his own extensive network of people trying to locate who hurt his daughter.

  To Jason’s profound shock he was pardoned of his conviction. His father was integral in making Irene follow through on confessing to the authorities. Terry in his own way had finally spoken up for Jason. It was unprecedented. Jason didn’t know what to do with it. It was years too late, but still; Terry had finally acknowledged him... and helped him. For the first time in his life, his father had truly changed something for the positive. Still, all any of it did was highlight for Jason who his real family was: the Kelso’s.

  Since his name had been cleared, he had spent the last six months trying to rebuild his life. Bill had officially retired, leaving him the shop, which he now completely operated on his own. It had kept him busy as he’d added on and remodeled the garage, and so far, all his improvements were paying off. They were busier than ever.

  Still, it hadn’t kept his mind off Christine Andrews, or everything that had happened. Or from longing to have her back. But he had no idea what to do about it.

  Aaron looked him in the eye. Jason stared right back, his shoulders back and head high. He was past being intimidated and pushed around. He had done things wrong, but he’d also tried to make amends. At some point someone was going to have to give him that credit.

  “Are you sure? You’re not going to start causing my daughter problems, are you? Or Terry, now that he’s running for mayor again?”

  “I cause trouble for Terry by just breathing.”

  “So my daughter?”

  He gritted his teeth. “Small town. That’s all that happened tonight.”

  “That’s why you should leave town.”

  He scoffed. God, was this guy for real? “I can’t. My business is here.”

  “Haven’t you done enough to her?”

  “Yes. That’s why I never contacted her again.”

  “I think she’s been very clear.”

  Jason pulled at the buttons at his throat. His breathing felt constricted. He hated dressing up like this. He shoved his hands into his pockets. “No. Your wife was clear. You were clear. Christine and I never actually talked about it.”

  “Don’t even try. I will have you thrown out of town. Don’t think I can’t. I didn’t know you were messing with her the first time. You were up against Trent and Terry that time. Not me. You don’t want to mess with me.” His smile was small and chilling.

  Was he for real? What was this a mob family? Jason sighed, tired and despondent. All he had ever done wrong was like the wrong girl. The only girl he’d ever loved had simply found his brother before him. “I’m sure you could also have my business blackballed and bankrupted within a month. I get it, Mr. Andrews. I get who you are, what you can do. The thing is, your money doesn’t impress me, doesn’t interest me, and sure as hell doesn’t have a thing to do with how I feel about your daughter.”

  Aaron was quiet for a long moment. “You’re saying you still have feelings for my daughter?”

  His shoulders sagged. There was no use in having these feelings, but yeah, he had them. “Your daughter loved me, and sometimes I think I need to find out if she still does.”

  “She doesn’t.”

  “I’d just like to hear it from her. Now that she’s not nearly catatonic, I’d like to speak with her.”

  Aaron stilled. “I hear you recently expanded your business.”

  “Yeah. Funny how long my permits took. And funny too how I couldn’t get any local contractors to take the job. I had to get someone from out of state. Cost me a damn fortune.”

  Aaron smiled right into his face. “That must have been quite irritating.”

  “It was.”

  “You think I had something to do with that?”

  Jason stiffened his back. “I know you did.”

  “And yet you’re here and threatening to go after my daughter? You ever think about what I could do to you if I was really pissed off?”

  He nodded. “I have. And you know what? I don’t care, Aaron,” Jason said, dropping the formality. “But what will you do if Christine finds out? She won’t take kindly to you sabotaging me, even if she does hate me. That’s not her way, is it?”

  Aaron stared him down. He finally dropped his head and frowned. Cautiously he muttered, “No, it’s not. You seem to know her well.”

  “I do. And I get what you’re doing. If she were my daughter, I’d do it too.”

  Aaron lifted his eyebrows at him. “You’re sharper than I would have thought.”

  “Yeah, well, your daughter doesn’t deal with dumb well, does she?”

  “No. Then neither do I.”

  “Then maybe you should re-evaluate who your friends are.”

  “I have friends everywhere.”

  “And I don’t. You threatening my business again?”

  “If I have to.”

  He started to respond when movement caught his eyes. Trent stood back, hands in his pockets, listening to them. Jason threw his hands up in defeat. He’d had enough. He’d been in the wrong and he’d paid for it ten times over. But it wasn’t enough for anyone. He flipped his brother off, turned from Aaron, and got in his truck.

  ****

  Who was she? Who was the woman Jason was with? His latest girlfriend? Was it serious?

  Trent was driving Christine home. Little was being said between them. She finished the meal with the same gusto she used to deflect her parents and Trent’s concern and stares. She didn’t want them to know what seeing Jason did to her. How he still affected her. She didn’t want them to realize what kind of a fool she was to still feel these feelings, this draw, to a man who was as cold and heartless as the one she’d fallen in love with. A man who couldn’t even come to the hospital when his girlfriend had miscarried and broken her leg.

  She made her mind go somewhere else. She would not think about it. The feelings, still deep and bitter, were nearly overwhelming when she allowed them in. She would not lose control anymore bec
ause of Jason Malone.

  Yet she couldn’t get his face or his voice out of her head. In all the time she’d known him she’d not seen or heard Jason be that way. The overall feeling she got from him, surprisingly, was loneliness. He talked differently; no confident coolness. In fact, he seemed sad.

  Finally, they were closing in on her apartment, a two-bedroom she shared with an old school friend, when Trent cleared his throat. She glanced up at him.

  “You still have feelings for him, don’t you?”

  She jerked her spine straight and stared out the windshield. “No, why would you say that?”

  His sigh was deep as he pulled his sports car into a parking space in front of her apartment building. He put it into park and shifted his body to face her. “Because I could see it in your eyes.”

  She shook her head in adamant denial. “No. I don’t, Trent. I don’t love him still.”

  “But you don’t love me.”

  She closed her eyes. This was what they had avoided all these months. “You know the answer to that. It really wasn’t Jason who broke us up.”

  “It was because you didn’t love me.”

  “Not the way I should.”

  He tilted his head. “I knew that. I really did. I know it wasn’t all Jason. It just took me a long while to admit it. It was way easier to blame him. I think, my entire life, it was easier to blame him.”

  She turned her head towards him. Where was this coming from?

  He sighed and shifted forward. His expression went to one of near guilt. “I blamed him for why my parents’ marriage was shit. They fought all the time. They still do. I blamed it on Jason’s existence. I blamed my mother’s unhappiness on him too. For she was the victim of his birth. But... you were completely right. All that is bullshit, and such a simplistic way to not blame my father. I didn’t want to blame him.”

  Christine blew a breath of air out. “Wow. I don’t think I ever thought those words would come out of your mouth.”

  He smiled and shut his eyes as if in pain. “There’s something you need to know.”

  “What? What is it?” She touched his arm. His expression of reluctance and pain had her concern for him growing.

  His lifted his hands to grip the steering wheel as if for strength. Quietly he said, “He was there, Christine.”

  She frowned and shook her head. “Who was where? Why do you look so upset?”

  He let out a deep breath. “Because I don’t want you to hate me. But I deserve it. Jason was at the hospital the day you fell. He found you and called the ambulance. He followed it in. He sat in your room holding your hand. I saw him with my own eyes. I have no excuse. I was eating my heart out in jealousy because I realized in that moment that he really did love you. He only left because your mother asked him to. And she asked us all to lie about it. So, we all lied to you.”

  His word hit her like physical blows to her gut. She slunk down in the seat as tears filled her eyes and fell down her face. She clenched her hands into fists. “Why? Why would they do that? Why did you?”

  “We thought it was best. We thought he was no good. We thought he was a convicted felon for God’s sake. Your parents were blindsided by his appearance and I was completely jealous. So when your mother told us she asked him to leave, we agreed to just let it go, as if he had never shown up.”

  She shook her head over and over. “I don’t understand. Why did you do this? To me? To us? You guys saw what I was going through, how could no one speak up? You changed the course of my life that day.”

  “I know,” he whispered. His tone so broken her heart flipped in sympathy. But no, no, she could not feel sorry for him. He was part of a lie that had made her life miserable and made her turn her back on Jason without once even letting him speak to her.

  “You can’t know or you would never have done this.”

  “I do know. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want you to love him. I wanted it to all be a phase you were going through. I didn’t want you to be dumping me for a brother I thought was a drug dealer. For one second, Christine, think of what that felt like for me. Not only did the woman I love want another man, but wanted the brother I had spent my life hating. I truly, to my core, believed he was one giant diversion you were going through before you’d realize he was the mistake, and I was what you really wanted. It never occurred to me you’d fall in love with him.”

  Her shoulders slumped. He was right too. From the start she and Jason’s attraction to each other had come at a high cost. “Why are you telling me this now? After all this time, why now?”

  He closed his eyes. “I simply saw your face and his tonight. Without letting the anger fuel my rage, I clearly witnessed two people in love. Your father... he followed Jason out. He had a talk with him. You should go to Jason, because I doubt he’ll ever again come near you.”

  “My father?” Her tone was a high-pitched squeak. How much more was to be done to Jason? “What? Why? What did he say?”

  “I was going after Jason. I’m not sure what I was going to say. But your father beat me there. I know you might hate me after this, but I didn’t mean for any of this to go as far as it did.”

  Christine let out a long, weary laugh. “Actually, I do know. That’s how it happened for me with Jason. I truly never meant for any of it to go as far as it did.”

  Silence filled the car as they were both deep in contemplative thought. Finally he sighed and said gently, “You know it was probably my baby.”

  Christine nodded. They’d never once had this conversation. Her heart froze and burned in pain. “Yes, probably. It would make the most sense.”

  Trent shook his head. “But you’d have still been in love with him. I was so happy about the baby because I assumed Jason would never want it, considering his upbringing. I thought it would bring you back to me. But now I think it would only have brought me a child. Even if you came back to me, you’d have never stayed. I’d have lost you no matter what, because I never really had you. Not like my brother did from the start.”

  She stared at her hands. “I wish none of this had happened.”

  He shrugged. “No, you don’t. You just need to go fix it. For yourself. For Jason. For your family.”

  “You can’t want that.”

  He smiled, chagrinned. “The thing is, I’ve met someone. She works as a designer on the Arc game. Anyway, we just kind of started hanging out. But she knew about you because of company gossip. We talked a lot about it. Things changed between us recently. But she thinks I’m not over you. She pointed out if I were over you, I would tell you the truth. So…”

  “So this is you being over me?”

  He nodded slowly. “I hope so.”

  She paused and took in a deep breath. Her anger towards him was deep and cutting. But she had also done him wrong. She had hurt Trent. She deserved some kind of reaction for what she’d put him through. This was his reaction. She had to accept it. She touched his forearm. “I hope it works out.”

  He expelled a breath. “Same goes to you, Christine.”

  She started to get out of the car. She glanced back at the last moment. “What about you and Jason? Is it still forever hating each other?”

  He shook his head and groaned. “You won’t let that go, will you? The girl I was engaged to left me for him. Our father always took care of me and loved me, and did little for Jason. And I sabotaged his relationship with you. So no, I doubt very much we’ll be getting together for dinner anytime soon.”

  “It would go a long way towards proving to your new girl that you’ve moved on.”

  He flashed a grin. “Still trying to get us to have a conversation?”

  She grinned back with guilt. “Seems so.”

  “Maybe it would convince her. Funny thing, she thinks I need to meet Jason alone, away from my parents, too.”

  “I already like her.”

  He smiled sadly as she stepped away. He looked into her eyes with a small, sad nod. “Goodbye, Christine.”
r />   Tears pricked her eyes as he pulled away and she whispered, “Goodbye, Trent.”

  ****

  “You lied to me.”

  Her parents turned, startled at her abrupt entrance into the kitchen the following afternoon. It was Saturday, so they were both home.

  “How could you? You saw what I was going through. How could you lie like that to me?”

  Aaron slowly rose from his chair. He set the tablet he’d been scrolling on aside. “This is about Jason.”

  “Yes. All my grief was about him. All of which stemmed from a lie you told and perpetuated.”

  “He spoke to you.”

  “No, Trent did. Trent told me what you all did.”

  Kay stood slowly, twisting her hands together. Tears were already welling in her eyes as guilt filled her face. “We thought it was for the best.”

  At least they didn’t bother to cover it up or protest. “It wasn’t. It wasn’t for the best. You broke my heart into a million pieces for no damn reason. You saw me, you witnessed my grief; how could you stand by silent to all that?”

  “We thought he caused it and would make it worse.”

  “What caused it was your lie that he never came to see me.”

  Kay hung her head. “I did it. I asked him to leave. He left. I thought at the time it was callousness. But now... after I saw how he looked at you in the restaurant, I think it was out of respect. He thought what I told him was the truth. He tried to contact you many times in the first few weeks. I erased the messages and blocked his calls. I made sure he couldn’t get near you.”

  Her head might explode. She was sure it could, as anger boiled through her guts and raced to her extremities. Her voice was hoarse with emotion as she cried, “How could you? How could you do that to me? You saw what I was going through. How could you have lied?”

  “I really thought he—” Kay stopped talking, then brushed at the tears on her face. “Oh, honey, I can’t justify it. I was wrong, to both of you. I see that now. It’s just, Trent told me Jason had said some awful things to you about the pregnancy.”

  Aaron stepped forward. “We shouldn’t have made him leave. I think we see that now. But at the time, we were going into that hospital blind because you two hadn’t told us anything about each other. And you should have. As far as we knew, you were on a short break from Trent. We had no idea there was someone else. We got to that hospital to be told you had miscarried and that this big, hulking man, who we find out is an ex-con, is also maybe the father of your baby. So maybe we reacted a little crazy. It was stunning, Christine. We realized we didn’t know our own daughter. So we might have been wrong, but you didn’t tell us you were pregnant. How could you not tell us that?”