See Me

by Michelle Lee

  I walked back over to the rug and went to put them in the pouch and Kalisha stopped me. “Not in there, they must be kept separate.” She pulled another silver chain and some wire and started weaving the wire around one of the stones and attached it to the chain, which she then fastened to my wrist. She used more wire and twisted it around the other stone and connected it to the chain that the amulet was on and handed it back to me. I put it around my neck and tucked it in under my shirt. She nodded in approval.

  “Remember, to use them, direct your energy to the stone, feel it and release it.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a bottle of rum. “I’m going to leave extra, maybe Legba is thirsty.” She placed the rum in the same spots our blood had spilled and then started packing up everything.

  I unrooted myself from where I stood and scrambled to help her. I had no idea how long we had been here, or that I was even sure what had just taken place was real. The energy in the stones was unmistakable though. We got everything packed up and I looked around to made sure we left nothing there.

  She looked at me, “Your path is difficult, but you have the spirit of a warrior who fights for love. The power of that is unbeatable. You need to remember that. Use the psalms. Carry that bag with you always,” she pointed to the pouch she gave me. “Remember what we did here today. You will know when you need to use it. You have my support,” she tapped on the amulet and stone on the necklace. “My blood is powerful, yours even more so.”

  We started walking back and she turned to me again. “I notice you often are between two worlds, don’t let them make you choose.” She tapped my head, “Protect yourself.” I put my walls back up and she nodded.

  I was trying to piece together what she said about the two worlds as we got back to the house, but I couldn’t make the puzzle fit together. I felt fuzzy and realized that my energy was low, so I fumbled around in my purse until I found a granola bar and ate it. She handed me an apple too as we walked in and I munched on that happily starting to feel better.

  Before Kalisha could walk away I stopped her. “One more question if I may, Kalisha?” She nodded at me. “My, er, friend, told me the first time I took on the energy that I needed to get rid of it, that my glow was turning darker. Any idea what that means?”

  “That even as strong as you are, you are not immune to it. Given a long enough time period, you’d become one of the dark ones. Fallen.” She gestured at the stones, “Those will help, but given that information you’d better not hold on to it for too long.”

  “It also felt like I took a piece of her when I pulled it from her, is that possible?”

  “Yes. It all depends on how this energy attaches itself to the soul. Maybe like tentacles, or needles instead of wrapping around. I’m sorry, I do not know because I haven’t felt it.”

  This world I had been thrust into would take some getting used to, and aspects of it were a bit frightening, but I wasn’t scared. Aminda came up to me and smiled kindly. “For us we will use a room in the house and stay warm.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Aminda led us to a room that must have been in the very back corner of the house. It had a small table with what looked like a shrine on it, draped in swatches of fabric in royal blue, satiny white, and red. I’m guessing they meant something other than our flag colors.

  Aminda sat on the floor and motioned me to do the same. She was a petite woman and had an ageless quality about her. If I had to guess I would say late forties or early fifties was her age, but for all I knew she could have been younger than me. She was wearing all white in a kind of shapeless outfit but had beaded necklaces in that were in a rainbow-like color scheme.

  Her skin was the mocha color that so many had from the Caribbean area, but her accent suggested to me that she was Latina of some sort. Her eyes were the softest gray color that I had ever seen, they reminded me of a soft cashmere sweater. Framed with dark lashes and eyebrows and short curly chestnut colored hair.

  “We won’t have to spend long together Airiella. I’m from Cuba, just outside Havana. My family has always practiced Santeria. Do you know much about it?” she started.

  I shook my head no. “Not really. I have heard of it, most people assume it’s a form of voodoo, but I don’t believe that is correct. Isn’t it more similar to Catholicism?”

  “In a way. To become a priestess like me is a very difficult process, and one that takes quite a bit of time. Santeria is a term that was forced upon people that practiced this religion because they drew conclusions that we worship saints that most closely identify as those the Catholic religion recognizes. Vodoun pray to Loa, similar to hoodoo, which is a similarity that all three have. We just all call them by different names. Vodoun and Santeria are both religions, where hoodoo is a magical practice.”

  “Okay, that’s a bit of a clearer distinction between them,” I drawled.

  “You don’t need to know a whole lot, but a general overview of the religions can sometimes help you identify what you are dealing with. The name we use in Cuba is Regla de Ocha, and we worship nature and the saints that it deifies. I would call the saints themselves a cross between the Loa and catholic saints. Many crossovers and are found in a variety of religious beliefs. In Cuba, they are called orishas. Like others, Santeria uses blood sacrifice as well.”

  I blanched at that, not because I was afraid of blood, but I didn’t like the thought of killing things. I understood it to be a necessity in some cases, it just seemed like a waste of life to me.

  “I can see that bothers you, but I can assure you that it is not dark in practice,” she pointed out.

  “Oh, I wasn’t thinking that,” I corrected her. “I just don’t like killing things.”

  She nodded at me. “In Santeria, it is not a waste. The sacrifice itself is an offering to god and the orishas. The blood is for them and the sacrifice. We then use the animal to feed everyone in the ritual and ceremony. We use drums and dances to in our rituals to communicate our intent. We do have prayers and chants as well. It’s a very holistic approach to healing, to life in general. Heart, mind and body are our focus. Is this making sense to you?”

  “Yes, please continue,” I replied.

  “We worship at an altar,” she pointed to the shrine, “that is made in the image of the orisha we are praying to. We use these colors to honor the kings, queens and deified warriors. Like Catholics, we have one God, Olodumare, though there are many orisha that carry out work in his name. We also believe our ancestors should be venerated as they become our spirit guides when the die, influencing our lives through their wisdom, they are still with us.”

  There were so many similarities to other beliefs that it was getting hard to keep them all straight. I was following what she was saying, but if I had to take a test on paper and relay all that had been told to me, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to pass it.

  “I think that in relation to you, I can feel touches of some of the orishas in you. I am aware of what others think and believe you are, and it may very well be true. The blessings that have been bestowed upon you are many, and you have great power in your blood. Even with not having done a ritual, I can see the glow surrounding you. But I would like to do a small ritual with you to ask the orishas to guide you on your journey.”

  I nodded wanly. It appeared whether I believed it or not, these people clearly saw something in me that I didn’t see. I was tired of arguing about it and I decided to let it go. There was a part of me that agreed with the fact that if this many people are seeing the same thing, then it was probably true. But there was also a part of me that believed people were susceptible to influence and would see what someone else pointed out to them.

  “I’m going to use a circle because it’s been asked by Father Roarke and Kalisha that we show you these, and how to make one. Instead of teaching you right now, I wrote the directions down for you. I know that a lot of information will be given to you today, and it will be hard to remember everything. I’d rather have you do it right,
than miss a step and have something bad happen.” Now I smiled at her in thanks. “However, you still need to pay attention and watch what I do. Oh, do you practice a religion?”

  “I was baptized Roman Catholic, but it’s not something I practice. I have more of an open spirituality belief,” I summarized.

  She went about making a circle in much of the same way that Kalisha had. While she added salt around it, she didn’t add any herbs, though she did use white candles. “This shrine is for Yemaya. Father Roarke told me that he is thinking water from the sea might be able to help you. Yemaya is the Spirit of Motherhood, the Ocean and the Moon. Today we will be asking her for her favor for you. That she grants you the cleansing properties of her waters, purified in the moons light. Yemaya is often related to Mother Mary.”

  Aminda grabbed a small MP3 player and drum music filled the room, the beating cadence both exhilarating and soothing at the same time. She sat back on her heels and looked at me. “I’m going to do a dance, it’s not difficult, but you may also try to follow my steps along with me, within the circle after I light the candles and say a prayer to Yemaya.” She reached out and took my hand in hers and ran her finger along my palm. “I can feel Eleggua strong in you, he is a messenger.”

  She ran her fingertips over my wrist, resting on my pulse. “Yes, he is very strong in you. So is Oya, and Oshun. Oya is the Spirit of storms, a warrior, she runs in your blood. Oshun I can feel in your soul, she is the Spirit of love, beauty, sexuality and fresh water.” She took my other hand and touched the back of my hand this time, her fingers resting and still. “Obtala has gifted you as well. He is the father of peace and harmony, humanity. You are very blessed indeed.”

  She abruptly let go of my hand and it dropped back into my lap. So Legba and Eleggua might be the same spirit called by different names, I tried matching the spirits to make more sense. Oshun might be Ezrulie, and Damballah might be Obtala? Or was she feeling those spirits due to the stones and amulet I was wearing.

  “Are you feeling those spirits because of these stones I have on?” I decided to ask her. She shook her no. Clear as mud then.

  “Those spirits will come when you call them to the stone, these spirits are already in you.” She had started lighting the candles now and was saying a prayer in her native language. I stood up to join her and bowed to the shrine when she did. When she started dancing, I did my best to follow her moves, but I felt clumsy and awkward. She had a grace that flowed easily with the drum beat, her feet in perfect timing. I tried giving myself over to the music which made it a little easier, though I still didn’t quite know what I was doing.

  She stopped dancing and dropped to her knees in front of the shrine, “Repeat after me,” she said, and spoke in a different language, slowly so I could repeat it. “We asked Yemaya to bless you with the powers of her waters, to heal that within you that needs healing. We asked her to allow the moon to purify your heart and bathe you in her love. She will take care of you.” She made a mark on my arm with her thumb. “Go in peace Airiella.”

  She bowed to me, and I bowed back. My head a jumble, although I felt oddly rejuvenated. Aminda handed me the directions she had written out, as well as a few herbal remedies that might possibly help me. I’d have a lot of research to do to learn which plants these were to make sure I didn’t use something wrong. I folded the papers into smaller squares and put them in the pouch that Kalisha had given me.

  “Thank you for your time and patience Aminda, it was a pleasure spending time with you,” I told her honestly as I headed to the door.

  “Blessings on your journey Airiella,” she returned with a smile.

  I walked back out to the grand room where the others were sitting, waiting to see which one would be next. If I remembered right, it was Degataga that was heading towards me now, he was the Cherokee Medicine Man.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “Hello Airiella, let’s head outside,” Degataga smiled a small smile and led the way. I took him to be around the generation of my parents, though he showed his age very well and could possibly be a lot younger than I suspected. He had dark hair that was long and straight, falling below his shoulders. He had it tied with a leather strap in a loose sort of fashion. His clothes were just regular clothes, no traditional clothing from his tribe that I could see.

  His face had the lined look of someone who had spent years outdoors. It was broad, his nose somewhat large and flat, thin lips to a wide mouth. His eyes were widely spaced, and very dark, lined with black eyebrows. He was clean shaven. I’d call him handsome, and he had a somewhat gentle nature to him.

  His gait was long, and he walked fast, my shorter legs having to work harder to keep up. He led us into the forest, no marked path that I could see, though he seemed to know where he was going. His steps sure and solid on the uneven terrain. Mine were clumsier as I had on boots that were too big and I was moving faster than I would have normally trying to keep his pace.

  We hiked for about ten minutes and we were a good distance away from the house, surrounded by dense forest. Moss hung heavy on some of the larger trees and underfoot, dampening the sound as we walked. After about another five minutes we came to a little creek that had a few very large boulders on the edge of it.

  Degataga easily scaled one and leaned over to give me a hand up and we settled down on top of it. This was exactly the kind of spot I would search out when I went into the woods on my own. Secluded and quiet, filled with life though. The energy alive and palpable in everything around us. Degataga leaned back against a tree that butted up to the rock we were on.

  “Airiella, I am less formal than the others, yet also more secretive. Many of my tribes’ ways are not to be shared with outsiders. My name, Degataga means “standing together” which is also a way I think and live. While some things I can’t share, some I think you should know. You are a different being than what I expected,” he told me, his voice strong, but kind.

  “You are Cherokee, correct?” I asked, letting him take the lead.

  “Yes,” he nodded his head.

  “I admit that all I know about your tribe is what I learned in school which is not much. What stands out to me is the Trail of Tears, though I am sure there are many tales just as heartbreaking as that one in your history.”

  “This is true. Cherokee is one of the few tribes that had a written language, but in our way of life, many more things were relayed verbally. The stories the elder tell are usually for a reason, and there are many myths that circulate through humanity. While not all of them are true, many times within that myth is a bit of truth, which is where the legends come from. I myself have the gifts of being able to see spirits, good and bad, and I can take the energy from something and manipulate it. I understand that you have something similar.”

  “Well kind of. I’m an empath, well at least I thought I was, now everyone is telling me I’m something else. Regardless, all my life I have been able to feel the emotions of others, which if you break it down into science, is a form of energy. I can’t change it into something else, but I can weaken or strengthen something that already exists,” I tried explaining.

  “Airiella, you might be more than an empath, but you are still one, don’t forget that. What I am not supposed to tell people is that I am a Medicine Man. In my tribe we don’t share that information, it is information for my tribe only, and even then, not all of them know who I am. Cherokee are very strong in medicine uses and plant knowledge. Our language helped preserve some of that, but it is also written in a way that not everyone would understand. To make things even more difficult, some parts of remedies were left out and only passed down verbally. It’s one of the ways we preserve our way of life.”

  I nodded, understanding that he was telling me he couldn’t share that part of his life with me. I was okay with that. “I truly find it fascinating,” I told him.

  “I know Taklishim said you were a raven, and I will admit that I see what he means, however, my strengths lie in the energy ar
ound us, and that is what I am going to be working on with you. I will be testing you in my own ways, though I will also teach as we go along. I want to get a feel for you and understand more, that’s the Medicine Man part in me,” he winked. “I am curious though, I don’t feel the energy that some of the others have said pours out of you.”

  Startled, I didn’t know what to say at first. He was the first one who hadn’t said I had a ton of power. Then it hit me, I had my walls up and sealed tight. “Oh, I have what I call walls up. It blocks that energy from escaping and from letting anything in,” I said, the light bulb over my head clicking on. “Otherwise it leaves me open for an attack of sorts by those that know how to. Plus, it gets overwhelming and exhausting being bombarded with emotions all the time. It drains me fast, as I start to take on those emotions of those around me. It can get hard to separate what is mine and what belongs to others.”

  “I see. You created a type of mental block?” he questioned me.

  “That’s exactly what I did. When I tap into that power, or energy inside me I would picture in my head, a sealed-up area, surrounded by thick heavy bricks that were impenetrable. After a bit of time it got easier for me and then became something I could do instantly and focus parts of it to allow things in or out, search for leaks, and revise on the fly. Sometimes when an emotion is very strong, either by me or someone else, what happens is what I call a leak. It can take a bit of work to fix it, but usually I just let it be unless it’s really bad.”

  “What do you mean by really bad?” he said, curious.

  “Bad emotions. Hate, violence, negative energy that is harmful. Sadness carries a weight to it that can shift quickly depending on the stability of a person or situation as well.”