“What happened? Are you guys okay?” I’m watching both of them anxiously. It doesn’t seem like there was any sign of a struggle.
“We’re fine. I just talked to him, Lyss. I swear. I don’t think he’ll bother you anymore.” Tommy let go of Julia’s waist and walked around Rocco who was still standing there watching me. He put his arms around me and kissed me on the cheek. I was still tense, but hugged him back.
“Thanks, Tommy. I appreciate you coming,” I say. He lets me go and sits with Julia who has curled up on the couch behind me.
“That’s what friends are for,” he says making Julia giggle.
“Told you.”
I turn back to Rocco. I wasn’t sure what to say to him because he was probably wishing that he never offered to be my lab partner. “I’m so sorry that you had to see all of that. Actually, I’m completely mortified that you were here,” I admit with a sigh. Then I turn away from him so he cannot see my face and walk into my room. I pick up the chair I knocked over earlier. He’s standing just inside my doorway when I put the chair in place.
“You have nothing to be sorry or embarrassed about, Alyssa.” It’s the first time I’ve heard him use my name in conversation. Oddly, it has a calming effect on me. “That guy is a jerk and, truthfully, you deserve better than that.”
“That’s nice of you to say, but you really don’t know me,” I mumble sitting back down in front of the computer. I print two copies of the lab that we were working on as he comes all the way in the room. He turns his chair around so he’s sitting on it backwards and leans his elbows over the back of it. I hand one copy to him then put the other inside the workbook before putting it away.
“I know enough about you to know that you deserve better than walking in on your boyfriend with another girl and then him barging in here like he deserves your forgiveness.” I know he is being nice because he feels bad for me. Great. More pity.
I give him a small smile. “Thanks”
“Are you really alright?” There’s something about the way he asks that makes me want to answer him honestly.
“No, but I will be.”
“I’m really sorry he was such an ass and you are going through this. I wish I could do something.” He pauses for a second and then the mischievous, sexy as hell smile I noticed yesterday is back on his perfectly handsome face. “How about beer and pizza?”
I laugh at him through the tears. “I don’t think that’s part of the super hero lab partner’s job description.”
“You’re right. It’s not. However, it is part of the friend’s job description,” he winks at me and stands up. Just then, I hear Leah coming through the front door.
“Lyss!” she’s yelling. I know she’s pissed. “Where is she?”
“Just be glad you don’t have to deal with what’s entailed in the roommate’s job description,” I whisper and stand up to meet Leah in the living room. I hear him chuckling behind me.
She throws her arms around me pulling me tightly. “Are you okay? I’m going to kill him,” she yells again.
“I’m fine.” I try to reassure her. If she was here when Jeff was, this night would have been a whole lot worse.
“Are you sure?” She pulls away without letting me go so she can look at my face. “If I need to, I’ll track him down and…”
“Really Leah. I promise.” I cut her off before a visual of how vicious my roommate can be fills my head. She squeezes me again before letting me go. I know what she’s going to say next so I talk first. “It’s not Julia’s fault.” She glares at me.
“We discussed it. She should have never let him in.”
“I’m sorry, Leah. He told me he talked to her and they made plans.” She’s sitting with her head in her hands. It’s clear she feels bad enough. “I haven’t seen either of you today, so I didn’t know if…”
“It’s fine, Jules,” I tell her. I squeeze Leah’s arm and glare back at her so she knows what I’m thinking.
“I’m sorry, Julia. I know it’s not your fault. I’m just so pissed he had the balls to show up here. Especially since Alyssa’s been so much better the last couple of days.” Leah looks over to her.
Erin, who must have come in with Leah, comes over and puts her arm around my shoulders. “You sure you’re alright?” she whispers. I nod once. “Come talk to me later if you need me.” She’s still talking low. She knows I’m pretending since there are so many people in our tiny apartment. She goes over to her room where Mark is standing just inside the doorway. Even though they’ve only been dating a few months, they look like they’ve been together forever. She leans up against him and he instinctively wraps his arm around her waist.
Someone in the kitchen catches my attention. I forgot Leah’s boyfriend was coming back here tonight. “Alright. Alright. No more of this bullshit. It’s dinnertime and I’m starving. What are we getting to eat?” Tyler is always hungry so we all laugh. Leah goes over and smacks his arm. “Sorry, Babe, but a boy’s gotta eat!”
“Pizza,” Rocco answers from my room. They must not have realized he was here because they all turn to him surprised. Leah and Erin send me a quick look. “I’m ordering. You guys in?”
“Yeah.”
“Definitely.”
Everyone agrees.
“You sure you want to hang around here? I cannot guarantee the rest of the night will be drama free,” I whisper to him ensuring no one else can hear.
His sexy grin is back again. “I should probably get popcorn, too, then.” I cannot help but laugh. “I’ll be back. I just have to run by my apartment real quick.”
He asks what everyone likes on their pizza. They all yell out their order and put money in. Rocco waves them away and heads out.
“Spill it,” Erin says as soon as the door closes behind him.
“Leave her alone, Erin. The girl has had enough shit for one night,” Mark hollers from behind her.
“Don’t any of you start,” Tommy warns looking directly at Leah.
“I was just going to suggest we look to see if the hockey game is on TV.” Leah is holding up her hands mocking innocence. No one believes that is what she was going to say.
Escaping to my room is too tempting once my friends are distracted with something other than me to talk about. I am not going to make it much longer without crying over tonight’s events and an audience isn’t necessary for that. Before climbing into bed, I pull out the extra blanket from my drawer since it’s not quite cold enough to sleep with yet. I wrap it around me, not even trying to stop the tears that are filling my eyes.
How could Jeff show up here and act like everything could possibly go back to the way it was? What hurts the most is that he had been planning on proposing. He slept with some slut knowing that he was going to ask me to marry him? Jeff had been my savior from the asshole who tried to break me and from the moment we started dating, I assumed marriage would be in our future. We talked about it too many times to remember. The only thing I’m left with is the harsh reality that because of the two of them, I’ll probably never be able to let anyone get close to me again.
There’s a small knock at my door. I’m hoping if I ignore it, whoever it is will go away. The click of the door opening and then closing again reminds me how shitty my luck really is. My head stays firmly planted on the pillow where it fell. Whoever it is will just have to deal with it. That’s what they get for coming in when they weren’t invited. I feel the mattress compress next to me as someone sits down.
“I brought you something,” Rocco says. That wasn’t expected. The sound of his voice makes me stop crying. I look at him through the tears still building despite me trying to resist them. I still cannot get over how attractive this guy is and wonder why seeing him next to me makes me feel better. He’s holding out a bottle of beer to me.
“Thanks,” I say pulling myself up and grabbing a tissue from my dresser next to me. I wipe my face as best as I can.
“Figured you could use one. Besides, you cannot eat
pizza without beer. It’s illegal,” he offers an encouraging smile.
I reach out to take it from him, but he pulls it back to open it before handing it over. I take a sip even though I’m not crazy about beer.
“I usually have a Coke with pizza.”
He’s quiet for a moment while he’s contemplating what to say next. “I’m going to help you get over this. I’m going to help you learn how to let it go,” he says.
“Look, Rocco. It’s really nice that you want to help, but I’ll be fine. Really. I’m actually doing better than I was a couple weeks ago. Jeff showing up here tonight just caught me off guard. I’m so grateful that you went with Tommy tonight, that I now have the best lab partner ever, that you ordered pizza, that you are here, but…”
“There’s no way in hell I’m going to let a pretty girl be miserable over some jerk because he was stupid enough to lose her. Not for one more day,” he interrupts shaking his head. He stands up, holding out his hand. When I don’t take it, he raises his eyebrows and motions for me to take his hand again. I’m still processing him referring to me as pretty, but I shake my head once and reach out to grab his hand. “First thing to learn about letting go is never refuse the help of a friend. Now let’s go get some pizza before they eat it all.”
“I just need to wash my face. I’ll be right there.”
“Nice try. I’ll come with you. If I let you go alone, you’ll lock yourself in there and I’ll be forced to knock the door down. You don’t want to have to pay for that, do you?”
“You can be awfully irritating when you want to be, you know that?” I look up at him and wonder why he’s still holding my hand. We walk over to the bathroom door when he lets go to reach for my beer.
“I’ve been called a lot worse,” he smiles. “Now give me that and hurry up. I’m going to be pissed if Tyler eats my piece.”
I flip on the light and grab a washcloth from one of the shelves next to the shower stall. I wet it with cold water and wipe my face easily, careful not to screw up my mascara any more than I already have. It’s the best it’s going to get, so I leave the bathroom grabbing my beer from my babysitter and head out to the living room to join my group of friends. Shane, Troy, and Logan have joined the crowd already in our small apartment.
“They saw me grab the case of beer and heard me order pizza.” He shrugged his shoulder. “They cannot help themselves.” I just shake my head.
“Hey, Alyssa. Better get over here and get some of this while it’s still hot,” Shane says giving Rocco an odd look.
For the next couple of hours, we eat, drink, and laugh as though we’ve all been friends forever. Never once did I worry about what happened earlier tonight, what will happen tomorrow, or what will happen later in the future. Tonight, it was just about letting go, if only temporarily, with friends that would be there when I needed them. Friends that were right here. Right now.
Chapter Six
Alyssa
In the morning, I wake up to the sound of Leah getting ready for her class. She’s rummaging through her closet trying to find something to wear. There’s really no reason for her to stress so much. It’s Friday morning. No one really cares what you look like on a Friday morning. Not to mention, she has spent plenty of nights with Tyler wearing old t-shirts and boxers. His opinion is the only one she should be worrying about. She doesn’t know I’m awake until I reach over and grab my cell phone to check the time. She has plenty of time before class.
“I’m sorry for waking you up,” my roommate whispers. “Go back to sleep. I’ll try to be quieter.”
“No biggie. I want to get up anyway.” I sit up and get out of bed. “I’m going to get ready and head home for the weekend.”
She turns to me. “Why?”
“What do you mean why?” I was on my way to the bathroom but stop and look over at her confused at why she would ask that.
“Are you really going home?”
“Where else would I go?”
“What day is it today, Lyss?”
“Friday?” I answer but it comes out like a question.
She is smiling now. “Really?”
“Leah, can you please stop speaking in riddles. It’s too friggin early for me to think and I have a headache from drinking beer last night. That shit is disgusting, by the way. Why does everyone like it so much? Remind me to stick with vodka next time.”
“For the last month, you’ve been waking up telling yourself how many days it’s been since, well, you know. Now you are telling me that today is Friday.”
Now that it’s clear what she is talking about, I understand why she is questioning my sudden announcement of heading home. She was afraid that I was going to go see Jeff. “No, I’m really going home. My dad was asking me yesterday to come home for a couple days and I need to get some warmer clothes, anyway. You guys deserve a weekend free from worrying about me. Don’t you agree?” I shrug my shoulders. “Besides, you’ve barely spent any time with Tyler.”
“I see Tyler all the time. You know he doesn’t mind spending time with you, Lyss. He loves you just as much as I do.” She throws her shirt on and stands in front of the mirror on the wall checking how it looks from the front and back. “Don’t you ever think for a second that you are some kind of burden on us. Do you understand me?”
“Honestly, I just want to go home and clean out my bedroom. There are lots of pictures and other crappy mementos that need to be tossed. I’ve been purposely putting it off. I miss my dad and Jill, too. They’ve been worried.”
“Are you really okay?” This question has been asked too many times.
I sigh. “I’m better than thirty some days ago. I’m still upset about it, especially after Jeff showed up here last night. I also know there is no way I could be with him again. It doesn’t matter that he was once my best friend before he was the love of my life. Or at least that’s how it seemed. It’s going to take a while to heal, if it’s even possible. Some people might think I’m overreacting, but I was so sure the rest of my life would be spent with him.”
“You are dealing with it the best way you can. No one thinks you’re overreacting. Shit, I’m surprised you’re doing this well. I have no idea how I’d handle walking in on something like that. Not to mention you’re also still dealing with losing your aunt and uncle.”
“I’m just going to deal with things day to day.”
“Hey, do you want me to come home with you? We could leave right after my class and I can help you clean out your room. Then we can go to that restaurant your dad always takes us to.”
“Thanks, Leah. This is something I need to do on my own, though. It will do me good.” I smile at her.
“If you’re sure?” I nod at her. “I’m going to call Ty to see if he wants to go home, too, then. Just let me know if you are going to come back before Sunday and I’ll meet you here.”
Since it’s so early and there’s no rush to get home, I crawl back into bed while Leah gets dressed. The amount of energy she puts into getting ready every day is exhausting. When she’s finally satisfied she looks perfect, it’s almost time for her to go to class.
“Damn it! There’s no time for me to eat breakfast now.”
“You had plenty of time to eat. You just spent it in front of the mirror.”
“Oh shut up!” Leah throws her brush at me. “Not all of us can pull off throwing their hair up the way you can. I really hate you for it!”
“Yes, if looking like a slob implies pulling it off,” I say back sarcastically.
“A slob? Really?” She’s shoving her notebook into her bag. “Girlfriend, do you think you would have landed such a handsome lab partner if you looked like a slob?”
Not this again. It’s time to get out of bed and pack my stuff to go home. “Do we need to discuss this again?”
Leah is laughing now. “Did you not see the way he was looking at you last night? There’s no way it’s only about feeling bad you had to do some assignment alone. No guy is that nice.
”
“Whatever. This conversation is getting old.”
“Seriously, Lyss. Everyone noticed but you. Even his friends were talking about him acting different when he was too distracted with you to hear what they were saying. Maybe Julia was wrong about him the other day. I’ve seen him around campus ruthlessly flirting with other girls, but last night was different.”
“Leah, please,” I don’t want to hear this crap anymore. “No more, okay?”
She sighs in defeat. “Fine. Will you still be here when I get back?”
“I’m going to try to leave within the hour. This way I’ll have some time alone before my dad and stepmom get home from work. No point in them watching me clean the shit out of my room.”
She comes over to give me a hug. “Be careful driving. Call me if you need to.”
“I will. You, too. Enjoy your weekend. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” I wink at her.
“It will definitely be a great weekend if I follow that rule.” We both laugh. “See you Sunday.”
“See ya.”
It takes me less than an hour to get a shower, pack my stuff, and eat breakfast. Right before leaving my apartment, I call my dad at work to let him know my plans. Erin and Julia either aren’t here or are still sleeping, so I leave them a note on our message board by the door, before walking out to my car.
About half way through my two hour ride, my cell phone rings. Leah’s name appears on the display, so I answer using the hands free device my dad insisted on being in the car I purchased two months ago. “Hey. You miss me already or did I forget something?”
“Of course I miss you, but that’s not why I’m calling,” she says. “Where are you?”
“I’m just about to get off of the New Jersey Turnpike. What’s up?”
“Don’t kill me for telling you this, but I thought you’d want to know.”
“Know what?”
“Someone just stopped by to see you and was awfully disappointed to hear that you weren’t here.” Something tells me I don’t need to ask to know who she is talking about.
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