Forever Altered

by D. J. Pierson

  “Let me go!” I hollered at them. “He doesn’t get to talk about my girl like that.” I tried fighting them off, but it was no use. There were just too many hands on me.

  “Calm the fuck down, Rocco,” Shane yelled directly in my face. He’s had to do this more times than I care to admit. They managed to get me back in the chair, except I was anything but calm.

  “Aww. Don’t worry, Rocco. You’ll be over her and in my bed before you know it,” Carrie said before running out after the losers she came in with.

  “Holy shit, that girl is insane!” Logan said from behind me. “Doesn’t she see how close he was to knocking her ass out?” He paused briefly before adding, “This would have been so much worse if Alyssa was sitting here.” My anger flared again and I attempted to jump out of the seat. The thought of her being here to see or hear this shit was enough to make me snap.

  “You are not fucking helping, Logan. Shut the hell up.” Shane glared at him over my shoulder struggling to hold me in the seat.

  I took a few deep breaths and was making an effort to talk myself down from this rage. I haven’t felt this angry since middle school when someone started talking about my dad being a bad cop because he got shot. “Take me back to school, right now,” I told Shane through clenched teeth.

  “Absolutely not, my friend.” Shane patted my shoulders and they all were returning to their seats seeing that I was trying to calm down. He held up his finger to our regular waitress and she came right over. “Some water and an order of nachos, please.”

  “Rocco, you need anything else?” What she was really asking was if I wanted something stronger. We’ve been coming here for four years now. She knew us very well. I just shook my head.

  We stayed until the third quarter ended then left to go back to school. If the guys weren’t with me, I would have gone over to the Village to hunt that bastard down and beat the shit out of him. It was going to be interesting the next time we ran into each other. On such a small campus, it won’t take long. I became concerned about him being in one of Alyssa’s classes. I’m going to be taking her to that class every week and probably watching from the hallway until the end of the semester. He’s too arrogant to be afraid of me. The second the guys got me back to my room, I collapsed in bed and fell asleep.

  The next afternoon, whenever it was I finally managed to get out of bed, Shane mentioned how he answered my phone when Alyssa called the previous night. Evidently, he opened his big mouth and told her what happened at the restaurant. She was concerned about me and asked if she should come back to school. He told her he could handle me and not to worry. At least he was smart enough not to mention about it being my dad’s birthday. I spent the rest of the day with a bottle of Jack Daniels in our apartment refusing to leave just in case I ran into anyone. That particular day was not a day my friends would be able to restrain me from ripping someone’s throat out. By the time Alyssa called again, she was very well aware that I was loaded. The uneasiness in her voice made it obvious she was worried about me, but part of me didn’t care. After all, I should be celebrating with my dad.

  “What?” I answered just before the call went to voicemail.

  “Hey,” she said taken back by my rudeness. “You doing any better today?”

  I took another sip of my drink. “I’m great.”

  “How come you don’t sound so great?” she asked cautiously.

  “Don’t know.”

  She sighed and waited before asking her next question. “Rocco, how much have you had to drink today?”

  Something inside of me snapped and I was irritated at how she was talking to me like I needed her approval. I don’t answer to anyone. “I didn’t know I needed to get your consent before having a drink. If I had known that was the case, I would have reconsidered this whole dating thing.”

  “I didn’t say you did. You just don’t sound like yourself,” she said offended. “I’m worried about you.”

  “You aren’t the only one who has bad days, Alyssa. If I want to have a fucking drink, I’m having a fucking drink,” I yelled in the phone.

  “Rocco, knock it off, man. Alyssa didn’t do anything.” Shane came out of our room. Troy must have heard the commotion because he came out, too.

  “Whatever,” I say to them all. “I gotta go.” I hung up on her and went to bed.

  Since I have finally sobered up, a heavy, sickening feeling is sitting on my chest over the way I spoke to Alyssa on the phone last night. Shane was right. None of this is her fault and there was no reason for me to snap at my girl the way I did. She was just trying to figure out what was going on with me. Now I can see she was feeling helpless over being so far away and not knowing what was wrong. Perhaps I should have told her about it being my dad’s birthday. Then she would have at least understood why I was acting like such a jerk. I cannot even call her to apologize. She sent me a text about an hour before I woke up saying she was on her way out to go shopping with Leah and Paige. At least she said she’d see me tonight. Hopefully she doesn’t dump my ass for the way I treated her. I settle for sending a simple text saying that I can’t wait until tonight and telling her how much she is missed.

  Good thing I slept well into the afternoon because it helped the day go by a little faster. It felt like no sooner did I get back from the gym and showered that Troy is telling me Paige is on the phone saying the girls are going to grab something to eat before heading to the bowling alley. They are inviting us to meet them. Feeling a little unsure as to whether or not Alyssa actually wants me to go, I send a text asking her. My phone is ringing in a matter of seconds.

  “Hey.” The guilt has me feeling like a scorned child.

  “Why would you think I wouldn’t want you to come?” No hello or simple greeting. She just goes right into drilling me with questions. “Did I do something?” How could she possibly feel like she did something when I was the one who screwed up?

  “No, Sunshine.” I sink into the couch defeated. I don’t care that Troy, Shane, and Logan are staring at me listening to our conversation. They know how badly I screwed up. They have all been telling me about it since my ass crawled out of bed a few hours ago. “You didn’t do anything. I’m so sorry for being such an asshole to you last night. I wouldn’t blame you one bit if you wanted me to stay here.” I hear her sigh into the phone.

  “Rocco, you’re definitely not off the hook for that, but we’ll talk about it later. I miss you and I want your arms around me within thirty minutes. Understand me?” Her tone couldn’t have been any more demanding and I want nothing more than to give her exactly what she wants right now.

  “Clearly. I’ll see you soon.” The smile on my face has to be gigantic.

  “See ya.” She disconnects the call. Maybe tonight wouldn’t be as disastrous as I thought.

  “I never thought I’d see the day,” Logan says from across the living room.

  “You never thought you’d see the day for what?” I wonder.

  “The day that Rocco Matthews is a love stricken idiot,” he answers shaking his head.

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Dude, it’s all over your face,” Troy joins the conversation as he’s pulling on his shoes. “I’m not judging, just saying since I’m right there with you.”

  “You guys think I’m in love with Alyssa?” The idea is so foreign to me I’m not sure what to say. Are a bunch of guys really having this discussion?

  Shane starts laughing. “Rocco, even you aren’t that dumb. Come on. It was written all over your face from the second your phone rang.”

  I’m deliberating what they are saying, but I’m not convinced. “Well I honestly have no idea what it is, but it’s fucking amazing.”

  “Even though I may be losing my best friend to some girl, I’m glad. I told you she was good for you.”

  “Let’s go grab Tyler. Alyssa insisted that I be holding her within thirty minutes and I’m running out of time,” I say punching Shane in the shoulder as I wa
lk by him.

  “I can already tell it’s going to be a long, nauseating night,” he mumbles.

  Twenty-five minutes after hanging up the phone with Alyssa, I pull into the parking lot of the restaurant where we are meeting the girls. Her car is already parked and there is no sign of the three of them. The second we walk through the door, I spot her standing in the far corner of the waiting area while Paige and Leah are sitting in the chair next to her. She looks in my direction at the sound of the door closing behind me. The gleam in her eyes screams she is just as happy to see me as I am to see her. It feels like it takes me an eternity to cross the small room to get to where she is. As soon as I do, my open arms lure her to me and Alyssa’s body falls into mine naturally. The stress and worry from the last few days fall away. I feel like I’m home.

  “You had three minutes and thirteen seconds to spare,” she whispers in my ear. “If I would have known that a time limit would have worked, I would have made it twenty minutes.”

  I chuckle next to her as the first sense of relaxation falls over me since I left her alone and asleep in her room Wednesday night. “I would have been here sooner if I didn’t have to wait for the guys. Next time, I’ll make them walk.”

  Alyssa pulls back to look me in the eye. The serious look on her face has me gasping for air. “Please promise me you won’t ever make me worry like that again.”

  “Sunshine, I’m so sorry...” She cut me off by covering my mouth with her fingers.

  “I don’t want you to apologize right now. I need you to promise me you won’t drink like that again and scare the shit out of me. Please,” she begs. Her eyes show the fear she has been feeling probably since talking to Shane Thursday night.

  “I promise,” I tell her. I’ve never meant anything more in my entire life.

  “Alright you two, we get it. Everything is just perfect again. Now let’s go. Our table is ready,” Leah says from somewhere behind me. Damn can she be annoying sometimes.

  “We shouldn’t push her,” Alyssa whispers. “She has us all on a time schedule, so no one has an excuse to oversleep tomorrow and miss painting The Rock.”

  “I’m standing right here. I can hear you,” Leah snaps. Alyssa is giggling again. I’m glad our moment has passed, but I will still need to make it up to her. She needs to know that I truly mean to keep my promise.

  “Baby, you don’t have to get so worked up. You know how much we all love to tease you,” Tyler tells her pulling her by the hand. “We wouldn’t be able to function without you keeping us all in line.”

  “Damn right,” she replies to him, but she eases up and smiles. Leah might be the one keeping everyone else in line, but Tyler knows just how to talk to her.

  Everyone had a great time at dinner. Even though I’m not a big fan of bowling, it was actually really fun. It was nice of Alyssa and Paige to plan all of this out and to accommodate Shane with his request of bowling. I would have to thank them later. The best part for me was watching my friends interact with my girlfriend. They treat her with respect and at the same time like she’s always been a part of our small group. Shane and I have been friends for over ten years. We didn’t meet Logan and Troy until freshmen year at college, but we are all pretty tight. Having her fit in with them is more than I could ever ask for. She even takes their obnoxious bantering and shoves it right back at them.

  On our way back to campus, I felt myself keeping an eye on Alyssa in my rearview mirror driving behind me and getting worried if someone pulled in between the two of us. She mentioned something once about not feeling comfortable about driving at night. I should have made Shane drive my car and rode with her. How did I not think of that before? Tyler went with her, but that doesn’t make me feel any better. Good thing the bowling alley wasn’t that far from school.

  Once we are parked in the parking lot, the guys all walk over to Alyssa’s car with me. They even offer to help Alyssa and Leah carry their bags. Besides their overnight bags, the three of them did some serious shopping today. I go to grab one bag that was hanging in the back and Leah smacks my arm.

  “I’ll get that one. You have to wait until next Saturday to see that. Alyssa is going to look amazing in the dress I picked out,” Leah says practically bouncing up and down.

  “Leah, it’s no big deal. Don’t forget I still have time to go out and get a different one. I’m not sure that one will work,” Alyssa says walking away.

  “What? Tell her, Paige. This dress is beautiful just hanging on the hanger but once you put it on, it’s exquisite!”

  “It does look pretty good, Alyssa,” Paige encourages her. It’s just like Alyssa to blow this off. She doesn’t think she looks good in anything.

  “Well, shit, now I want to see it,” Shane starts from behind me as we walk to the main entrance of the apartment building.

  “Watch it,” I send him a warning glare. They all laugh at my expense, including Alyssa, who also reaches out to hold my hand.

  We enter the building and start to walk through the lounge when I hear Shane mutter, “Oh shit. Not now.” I turn in the direction he is looking and see Ryan is heading our way. He doesn’t even live in this building. Why the hell is he here?

  “Hey Rocco. Long time no see,” he slurs. This is not going to end well. I can already feel the anger boiling inside of me just from the bullshit he pulled the other night. “How nice of you to hand deliver her to me. I was thinking it would take a little longer before getting that hot piece of ass in my bed.”

  Something snaps inside of me as I’m preparing to rip him to shreds. Through the cloudiness the anger has built, I somehow feel a touch on my arm that I’ve grown so desperate for. My attention is drawn away from the asshole provoking me into a fight to the girl who has stolen my heart. Her grip on my hand has tightened and she shakes her head once before tilting it toward the stairwell. I’m frozen in place.

  “Come on, man. It’s time you passed her down the line. You’ve had long enough to play with her,” Ryan taunts me.

  Alyssa flinches at how the bastard is talking about her, but she recovers quickly. She lets go of my hand and puts both of her hands on the sides of my neck holding me in place. It’s unmistakable that she can read the torment rolling through me. I can hear Shane and Troy in the background yelling at Ryan, but it shouldn’t be them defending my girl. It should be me. “Kiss me,” she insists. At first I’m confused as to why she thinks this is the right time or place. Then once her lips cover mine, I’m powerless to do anything other than what she asks. She pulls away slowly running her hands from my neck, down my arms, until they reach mine where she grabs ahold of them and guides me to the stairs. I have forgotten all about the chaos ensuing behind me.

  It isn’t until we get to her apartment that I am aware our friends have followed behind us. Leah walks around where we are standing to open the door for everyone. I still have not been released from Alyssa’s gaze until she pulls me inside where she finally lets go of my hands only to collapse into me.

  “Damn, Alyssa. That was pretty good. I have never seen anyone control Rocco like that in all the years I’ve known him,” Shane says causing me to seek him out. “Don’t give me that look. You know it’s the truth.”

  “Are you okay?” Alyssa asks distracting me from Shane.

  “I’m fine,” I’m barely able to get out. “You should have let me beat the shit out of him. No one should talk about you that way.” Normally if someone would have distracted me from a fight, it would have only shifted my anger on to them. Instead I’m left feeling horrible that someone got away with talking about Alyssa like she is some whore. I brush the hair out of her face that has fallen over her eye.

  “I don’t want you to fight with him over this. You will only be giving him what he wants. As long as he doesn’t touch me, I don’t want you to even acknowledge him.” I hear what she is saying and I get she doesn’t want anything to happen to me, but there is no way he’ll ever stop. “You won’t let him get to you again. If he’s stup
id enough to even lay a finger on me, then all bets are off. You have my permission to do your worst. As for now, I will not be the reason you get into a fight with anyone. Do you understand, Rocco? It’s not optional.” Something tells me something similar has happened before and she doesn’t want to go there again, so I agree with her. “Thank you,” she whispers wrapping her arms around me again.

  “Don’t expect a kiss from me to snap you out of some future rampage if Alyssa isn’t around. Seriously, that’s not going to happen,” Shane says shaking his head. This breaks the ice and everyone starts snickering around us.

  Alyssa lets go of me and takes her stuff to her room. I help her by grabbing the bags the guys left on the table. Shane pokes his head in her room to let me know him and Logan are leaving. Alyssa and I say goodbye to the two of them who are followed by Troy and Paige. Before leaving Troy checks with me to make sure that I’m good and won’t be venturing downstairs anytime soon. I assure him everything is fine and that I have no reason to leave this room. After all, the person I want to be with is right here.

  Meanwhile, Paige is saying goodbye to Alyssa. “Thank you so much for inviting me today. I had a blast. Actually, I haven’t that much fun in a long time.” She gives Alyssa a hug and I hear Logan say he may be staying, but Shane pulls him through the door. The girls ignore him.

  “Anytime, Paige. Thanks for coming. It was a lot of fun. We’ll have to do it more often.” Troy is thrilled over the new friendship the girls have started.

  “I’d like that,” Paige responds. “Thanks, Leah. Don’t forget you said I could borrow that pair of shoes for the Halloween party.”

  “You got it,” Leah says.

  “We’ll see you guys bright and early at The Rock,” Paige adds before leaving with Troy in tow. With all of this help, we should be able to knock the painting out in no time.