Winter at Wishington Bay

by Maxine Morrey

  ‘I had planned to tell you. I promise.’

  He nodded.

  ‘With everything else spinning in my head, it threw me. All of a sudden, I felt like maybe I’d been stupid again. That what we’d had was a lie too. That you’d kept secrets from me and the woman I’d fallen in love with wasn’t who I thought she was.’

  The tears had welled in my eyes at his words, and my throat felt sore and tight. ‘The only difference is that my real name is a bit longer than I originally said. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.’

  His hand rose again to my face, his thumb brushing away a stray tear. ‘I know that now. I reacted badly, and for that I’ll never forgive myself. My relationship with Serena had made me jump to the wrong conclusions about everything, and I am so worried I’ve ruined what we had by acting like I did. There’s no excuse.’

  ‘The way you looked at me…’ I swallowed. ‘It hurt so much…’ The pain in his eyes showed me he knew that. And that he cared deeply that he had. ‘But I understand too. When we’re in a difficult situation we don’t always act in the most rational way.’

  He dropped his hand and shook his head. ‘Don’t forgive me.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘You can’t just forgive me like that. That easily. You’re supposed to stamp and scream and, I don’t know, do something.’

  I frowned, half laughing, half crying. ‘That’s not really my style. And why shouldn’t I forgive you? You apologised and explained and even faced an unruly mob of reporters to come to me.’

  ‘But I’m not sure I deserve it.’ He tilted his head, then leant it against mine. ‘I’m not sure I deserve you.’

  I pushed him back gently. ‘Both of us have had bad relationships and those leave scars. All we can do is try to learn and heal from those. We’re bound to muck up sometimes. That’s human nature. But if we’re truly sorry, and we grow from it, there’s no reason to keep being made to pay for it.’

  ‘What did I ever do to deserve meeting you?’

  I lowered my eyes and concentrated on his large, strong hand holding mine.

  ‘Where’s Serena now?’

  ‘On a plane back home, I imagine. Although I screwed it up, seeing you at that moment was the best thing that could have happened. It gave me that clarity I was talking about. I told Serena it was over once and for all and that I’d pay for her flight back home and call her a cab. A mate of mine is the divorce lawyer. I spoke to him straight after, asking him to gee things along a bit. The fact that he’d said “about time” when I rang him initially about all this probably gives you some idea of what the few friends I’ve managed to hang on to thought about my marriage.’

  ‘No one can really judge anyone else’s relationship properly. It’s all relative to how they see it, and that can sometimes be quite different to how those involved see it.’

  ‘That’s true. Although, on this occasion, I have to concede he was right.’

  I smiled, but my stomach was still in knots. There was a question to ask and, although it was gnawing at me, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know the answer. Still, I had to ask.

  ‘So, what happens now?’

  ‘That depends on you.’

  ‘Me?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Why?’

  Nate let out a sigh. ‘Because if all this has shown me one thing, apart from how I can act like a complete idiot at times, it’s that somewhere along the line, I’ve fallen completely, head over heels, absolutely madly in love with you. And right now, I’m not entirely sure what to do about it.’

  ‘Oh,’ I replied. Good to see that my expensive education was coming into its own right now.

  ‘When I told Serena to leave, she started harping on about how you’d lied to me and that you would again. The fact that she could say all that with a straight face amazed me but still… But you never lied to me. I realised that almost as soon as I’d shut the door and possibly messed up the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You never lied to any of us. You just kept certain things private, and that’s your prerogative. Those things don’t make any difference to who you are, or who you’ve been to everyone here.’

  ‘How did she know who I was?’

  ‘She’s always been obsessed by English aristocracy for some reason. Reads all the gossip and magazines and all the who’s who stuff. It’s always been a thing of hers. I think ideally she’d have loved to land a duke or something.’

  ‘I guess that explains things. It’s a shame she wasn’t nicer to me. I know a few I could have introduced her to.’

  The smile I loved appeared then. ‘God, how I’d love to tell her that.’

  I giggled and he continued. ‘Anyway, she’s banging on about this and she starts pulling up all these photos of you. The thing is, all she did by that was strengthen my resolve to see you, apologise and try and do everything I could to fix this.’

  ‘Why? I mean, why did the photos help?’

  His hand stroked gently back over my hair, his eyes momentarily following its track before they focused back on me.

  ‘Because one of the first things I fell in love with, apart from your spark, was your smile. And in not one of those photos she showed me were you really smiling. I mean, not properly. You looked absolutely perfect and your gorgeous mouth was in the right shape. But there was nothing here.’ Gently he laid both his hands on my temples, the thumbs settling beside my eyes. ‘There was no sparkle.’

  ‘That’s because I don’t think I found it until I came here.’

  ‘I know the feeling.’ He let out a sigh, shaking his head gently. ‘Can you forgive me?’

  The answer to that one was easy. ‘I already said I did.’

  He grinned. ‘I was just double checking.’

  I met his eyes. ‘But I live here. I love it here.’ I knew now I wanted to stay, whatever happened with the press. I’d deal with them and move on and, in time, they’d forget about me as they moved on to the next person to hound. I’d built a life here. One I loved and one I wanted to continue to build on. I also knew that I wanted Nate in it. But there was the small matter of thousands of miles between our respective homes…

  ‘I know. I love it here too. And I’ve done some research, and because of my heritage, and some work opportunities, staying here won’t be a problem. But only if you want me to.’

  ‘Oh, Nate… of course I want you to!’ Emotion cracked my voice as he pulled me towards him, his embrace so tight I had to make an effort to breathe, but I didn’t want him to let go. Not now. Not ever.

  ‘I don’t know how all this will work out. All I know is that I want it to.’ His voice softened as he pulled back and looked at me. ‘God, Soph. I want this to work out more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life.’

  I smiled through the haze of tears, my expression telling him I felt the same.

  His kiss was soft, tender and as he wrapped me back in his arms, and I leant against his chest, I could feel the steady beat of his heart. It was soothing and I knew I was exactly where I needed to be. And with the man I was supposed to be there with.

  ‘So, what can I do about those hounds out there?’ he asked as I eventually sat back.

  ‘Nothing,’ I said, feeling a surge of love for him because he wanted to. ‘But don’t worry about that. I’ve had an idea.’

  30

  ‘This is fabulous!’ Flora said, beaming as she flapped the glossy magazine at me as I stepped into the cosiness of her shop, shutting out the bitter January wind behind me.

  ‘Oh, you got a copy?’

  ‘Of course I did!’ she laughed, coming over to give me a hug. ‘And my granddaughter’s been telling all her friends about it too. I think they’re all a bit jealous of her having a grandmother who’s so “in” with all the celebrities.’

  I laughed and she winked.

  ‘Do you think it sounds all right then?’

  ‘It’s perfect. Your contact at that magazine did a great job, and, I have to say, I think this was
a very classy way of dealing with it. Not that I’d ever have expected anything less from you.’

  I reached out and squeezed her hand, thankful as ever for her friendship and her stalwart support through what had been a bumpy time.

  ‘Thanks, Flora.’

  ‘So, where’s your hunk today?’

  ‘He’s upstairs on a video conference thing about something or other. I didn’t want to be seen flitting back and forth on it so thought I’d come and say hi to you and get some bits in the village.’

  Flora grinned. ‘Going OK then?’

  I grinned back. ‘It seems to be. It’s a little snug up there, I have to admit. I’d got used to my own space and Nate isn’t the smallest guy around so the flat definitely feels a bit different with him there.’

  ‘But in a good way.’

  ‘Definitely in a good way,’ I confirmed.

  ‘Have his parents gone back now?’

  ‘Yes, we took them back to the airport yesterday but they promised they’d be over again soon.’

  ‘They seem to really like you if what I saw when you were all in here is anything to go by.’

  I rested my elbows on the shop’s counter. ‘Oh, Flora. They’re so lovely. I have to admit I was rather nervous when Nate said they’d decided to come back with Gabe and Holly and have a family Christmas after he’d told them he’d decided to stay on a bit longer.’

  ‘Had he told them why?’

  ‘Apparently so. Although, from what his mum said, she’d already guessed something had happened just from when he called them on Skype. She said his whole demeanour was different, and that it was like she had her old Nate back.’

  ‘Ah, Soph, that’s lovely.’

  ‘I know. I burst into tears when she said it, which was all a bit mortifying.’

  Flora laughed. ‘I’m sure she didn’t think it was mortifying at all.’

  ‘She wasn’t the one crying!’ I laughed. ‘Well, not initially anyway. I think I set her off.’

  ‘I’m so glad it’s all working out for you, love. You definitely deserve it.’

  ‘Thanks, Flora. I’d have been thrilled to just be with Nate. He’s more than I could ever need. But the fact he seems to have come as package deal with his family, and by extension Holly and her family…’ I stopped, feeling tears prickling at my eyes again.

  Flora leant over, kissed my cheek and then laid her hand there. ‘Like I said, you deserve it.’

  I smiled, and made an effort to get my emotions back in check.

  ‘How’s the Instagram?’

  I laughed. ‘Crazy!’

  When I’d made contact with the old schoolfriend who worked at Chic, one of the best-selling glossies, and asked if she’d be interested in an exclusive, she’d been incredibly keen. Having followed the story in the papers, she’d immediately wanted to reach out but more as a support than anything else. I wasn’t naïve enough to misunderstand that if she could get a story, she would, but I also knew that this was my best chance at getting the right story out there and cutting off the heads of the other tales emerging.

  Once I’d explained everything, answering her questions over a long, lazy lunch at a private table in an exclusive London restaurant, my friend had turned to the matter of the Instagram account. I’d told her I’d probably just delete it, but she’d suggested doing the opposite. The account had now been renamed ‘Lady S’ and, although I was no longer cleaning for other people, I still loved trying out new tips in my flat, and sharing them on my account, along with other little bits of my day. Unlike before, I also now featured on my own account. I didn’t have to hide any more – not there. Not anywhere.

  ‘I’ve nearly finished my first column for Chic. I have to admit I’m a bit nervous about it, but hopefully they’ll like it. I can’t believe I’m writing for them.’

  ‘It’s so exciting! I’ve already put my order in at the newsagents to save me a copy.’

  ‘Oh, Flora, you are so sweet.’

  She waved it away. ‘And what about the book?’

  ‘I’ve got a meeting on Friday up in town with my agent and a couple of publishers to see which deal we prefer.’

  Flora was beaming, and, I soon realised, so was I. I shook my head. ‘It’s all rather crazy, isn’t it?’

  ‘It’s wonderful is what it is,’ she smiled, nodding behind me as the bell over the door tinkled. I turned to see Nate enter, ducking so that the little bell didn’t clank him on the head. Some parts of Wishington Bay weren’t built with men like Nate in mind but, like his brother, he’d still found it the perfect fit.

  ‘Hi Flora. How’s you?’

  ‘All the better for seeing my two favourite love birds,’ she teased as he bent and kissed her cheek.

  I shook my head, laughing, as Nate came to stand behind me, wrapping his arms around me.

  ‘Hello.’

  ‘Hello,’ I said, twisting my head a little to see him as he leant forwards. ‘Conference call done?’

  ‘Yep. All good.’

  ‘I was just going to get some fish from Mac down on the front for dinner.’

  ‘Want some company?’

  ‘That would be lovely.’

  He grinned, kissed my cheek and stood back.

  ‘Do you need anything while we’re out?’ I asked Flora as I bundled the scarf I’d taken off in the warm shop back round my neck.

  ‘No, I’m all right, love. Thanks for asking though.’

  ‘OK, just ring me if you think of anything.’

  ‘Will do,’ she said, smiling with a look of indulgence at us both.

  ‘Stop looking like that,’ I laughed.

  ‘What?’ she asked, innocently.

  ‘You know what.’

  She gave me a shrug, still grinning, and we headed out of the shop with a wave and set off down to the seafront to see what delights Mac had on his fresh fish stall. I loved this aspect of living here. Being house-proud wasn’t the only thing I’d discovered I liked since moving here. Cooking had also been another revelation to me, as Nate had experienced in his first days of staying in Wishington Bay. And as he still was now. The difference now was that it was often a joint affair. Having spent months living off ready meals, the dishes I’d cooked for him had reawakened his love of food. I knew his mum was a good cook but, over the years, his enjoyment of it had become sidelined. Serena had never cooked so they’d either had takeaway or eaten out, but, more often or not, she’d already eaten by the time he came in, having lunched with friends and, forever counting the calories, would be uninterested in having anything more. The fact that her husband may have only had time to grab a sandwich all day seemed neither here nor there to her.

  Nate had not only rediscovered his love of eating good food but had also begun to learn to cook, remembering lessons from his childhood when his mother had ensured both of her boys had at least known one end of a saucepan from the other. And he was already getting pretty good, never afraid to experiment and happily going off-piste from the recipe book – something I never did! It had become another shared enjoyment. Just as our life together now was. And, finally, after both having been so alone for so long, together was a very special place to be.

  Epilogue

  Eighteen months later

  Through the open window, the sound of the waves made a gentle shooshing sound, soothing and restful, as the sea washed the sand, ready for what looked to be another beautiful summer’s day in Wishington Bay. I pushed myself up the bed as the door to the bedroom opened, Nate nudging it with one broad, bare shoulder. My stomach did a little flip. I’d thought that feeling would eventually lessen, but apparently not. He was still the sexiest man I’d ever met, and when he gave me that grin, as he so often did, a whole flutter of butterflies set loose within me.

  ‘Good morning.’ His softly accented words added to the butterflies.

  ‘Good morning. What’s all this?’ I asked, accepting the kiss he placed lightly on my lips as he set the tray down on the bed.

  ‘Bre
akfast in bed.’

  ‘Did I forget something? Is it my birthday?’ I asked, laughing.

  He shook his head, smiling as he settled himself next to me in the bed and leant over to take a piece of warm, buttered toast.

  ‘I didn’t think there had to be a special occasion to make my fiancée breakfast in bed.’ He turned to me, his smile widening before he stole another kiss along my collarbone. I felt the smile on my own face, so wide it almost hurt. It wouldn’t have surprised me to learn I’d had a bloody great grin on my face all night. Admittedly, part of the night I’d been otherwise occupied, hence the slightly late hour of my rising, although those exploits had only added to the pleasure.

  Getting married again was something I had been sure I would never do, and I guess I’d assumed that, because his own experience of the institution hadn’t exactly all been roses and sunshine, Nate felt the same way. But apparently he didn’t. And when it came to it, I realised I didn’t either.

  Last night, as we’d strolled barefoot on the sand in the bright moonlight beside the ebbing tide, Nate had stopped, got down on one knee and presented me with the most beautiful ring I’d ever seen. And, with my background, I’d seen a lot. Moonbeams caught it, causing it to sparkle brightly as it rested on a midnight blue cushion of velvet. I’d hesitated for a moment, not because I was unsure of my answer but because I was so sure. So immediately, entirely sure, that it had taken me by surprise.

  The moment Nate had slid that ring on my finger, it felt as though everything I had gone through to get me to here had been worth it. Without all the heartbreak, I wouldn’t have the overwhelming joy my heart was struggling to contain and that, I felt, was worth anything. The man in front of me on the beach last night. The man sat relaxed, at home, beside me in the bed right now was worth all of it.