50 Ways to Hex Your Lover

by Linda Wisdom

  “I can survive the house coming down. You can’t,” he reminded her.

  “We’ve survived the Black Plague, the Titanic, and Pearl Harbor just to name a few. Not to mention the Disco period. We leave here together.” She wiped her bloody palms on her bare thighs and pushed the chains to one side until Nick could easily slide out from beneath them. He stood up and staggered a bit.

  “I’d say he’s very much dead this time. I heard his heart stop beating,” he said, accepting the shoulder she offered him.

  Like stop-motion photography, Reeves’ salt and pepper hair lengthened, turning a yellowish white, while his blackened and split skin peeled away from his skull, leaving white bone behind. The same happened with his hands and legs, skin and muscle disappearing until only bones were left behind. Within moments, the robe flattened to the floor and all that remained was a grayish-white powder. Just as his body returned to what it should be, the torture equipment around the room slowly crumbled to dust, the iron now rusty from age and old blood. All the whispers she’d heard when they first entered the property were now silent.

  “They judged him and were released from their final bond to earth.” She looked past Nick at the scorch marks and hole in the floor. “Oh man, Mother Nature is going to get me for that one.” She winced each time her bare feet found a splinter of glass.

  “I did it, Jazz!” A beaming Irma appeared in front of them. “I left the car.” She swung in a circle.

  “Yes, you did.” She smiled back.

  Irma looked at what was left of Clive’s body and her smile disappeared. “It was for an excellent reason.” She turned back to Jazz. “Thank you.” She suddenly looked startled and vanished in the blink of an eye.

  “And now she’s gone,” Jazz said, feeling a tear leak from her eye. “Probably just as well.” She felt the floor trembling under their feet. She struggled to keep a tight hold on him. “You’re right. We need to get out of here.”

  Nick leaned on her heavily. “While we’re getting the hell out of Dodge as they say, we might want to find some clothes. As much as I like seeing you naked, the authorities might not understand and they’re going to show up here very soon. An exploding house doesn’t escape notice easily.”

  “That’s all you want? Piece of cake.” She swept her hand over them. Nick wore the tuxedo from before while she again wore her gown. “No reason for us to attract any unwanted attention in case any of Reeves’ goons are still around.” She started for the stairs, but Nick tugged on her arm to halt her.

  They turned toward Clive’s remains. The faint shadowy substance that had once been Flavius stood there. He smiled and held up his right hand, palm forward.

  Nick echoed the gesture. A second later, Flavius disappeared.

  “Come on,” Jazz whispered, keeping her arm around Nick and helping him up the stairs. Between the two of them they were able to lift the heavy wooden bar across the door and wrench it open.

  They found the main floor of the house in chaos. Those Clive had enslaved were running through the house toward any exit they could find, while vampires, unaware they could have been the next victims in Clive’s quest for dark power, were likewise swarming out. Bodies lay scattered in each room they passed. Flames licked at the walls, turning the silk window coverings into torches.

  “If you need blood we can find someone,” Jazz whispered, aware of his weakness.

  He shook his head. “No, I won’t use them the way he did.”

  Jazz considered his weak state and muttered a curse that brought a hint of magickal smoke to the air. She propped him up against a wall and ducked into a room. She came out holding a goblet. “Drink it. I’d say this is the pure stuff, but you’re the real expert here.” She waved it under his nose.

  Nick’s fangs appeared at the rich coppery scent. He grasped the goblet with both hands and downed it in one gulp. He had barely finished when she snatched it from his hands and gave him another.

  He finished the second and cocked his head. “Police.”

  Jazz grimaced at the resonance of sirens that didn’t sound all that far off. “Not my favorite people even if they adore you. Should have known they’d get up here fast. The higher-priced the neighborhood, the faster the response.”

  “Maybe if you were nice to them once in a while they wouldn’t give you so much trouble.” He grinned.

  “Come on. If we’re lucky we can get out of here in time.” She almost lost her balance when the house shifted again.

  As they crossed the threshold, the house began buckling, folding into itself. The earth shuddered so severely they were thrown to the ground.

  This time, it was Nick who grabbed Jazz and pulled her to safety as the house sank into the ground and flames shot up into the air, igniting a few nearby trees. Nick flinched.

  “Save the trees,” Jazz said for want of anything else and because she was just too damn exhausted to come up with a better spell. The fire immediately died. She gave a sheepish shrug. “Considering everything, that’s the best I could do. Do you feel it, Nick?” She looked at the destroyed house. The only vehicle remaining was her limo parked nearby. Judging by the dents in the sides, some of the fleeing guests weren’t careful in their retreat from the catastrophe. Neither of them were surprised that all the vampires had left the property immediately. After all, fire was their enemy. She looked around, pleased to see the absence of the sad-faced shades wandering the grounds. “They really are all gone. They were able to fully cross over and be free. We did it.”

  He looked sad as he scanned the expansive property, the three-story house now nothing more than a fiery pit. Even the swimming pool had collapsed.

  “They didn’t deserve to die the way they did,” he murmured. “Flavius was denied the warrior’s death he earned long ago.”

  Jazz wrapped her arms around him.

  “Still, they’re free, Nick,” she whispered against his shoulder. Her smile and tears were luminous in the moonlight. “They’re free.” She reached up and kissed the side of his neck. She turned her head when his arm around her waist tightened. “Uh-oh.” She stared at the unmarked sheriff’s car moving up the long driveway behind the approaching fire trucks. “Uh, Nick, if there was ever a good time for you to play big bad cop who totally can bond with these guys, this is it.”

  The vehicle stopped nearby and a man wearing a rumpled suit climbed out. Jazz made sure their clothing appeared rumpled and torn, their faces smudged with smoke. The man sighed as he stared at them.

  “How did I know you’d be here?” Detective Larkin tugged at his loosened tie, looked toward the destroyed house and back at Jazz and Nick. He stabbed a meaty finger at Jazz. “And don’t give me that mom and apple pie shit, hear me?”

  Jazz kept her snarl to herself. “I hadn’t planned on it. I swear to you I had nothing to do with this, Detective Larkin,” she said, for once telling the truth. In the strictest sense of the word, she had nothing to do with the fire, only what happened before that.

  “And you two decided to stay here like good little citizens to make a statement, right?” He turned to Nick, clearly seeing him as the voice of reason. “Either of you need a paramedic?”

  “We’ve suffered nothing more than cuts and bruises from the stampede out of the house. We were here for the party and next thing we knew someone yelled fire,” Nick explained. “People started running for the doors and we were pushed outside with everyone else. Jazz and I were parted in the melee and by the time I was able to find her again, everyone else had left the grounds.” He rubbed his head as if it was aching. “Look, Detective, I know you’ll want a statement, but can it wait until morning? It’s been a rough night.”

  Larkin glared at them both. “Wait here for now.” He headed for the fire chief directing the operation.

  “I don’t think he believes us,” Jazz murmured.

  Nick smiled. “Oh, he believes me. It’s you he doesn’t trust.” He looked upward at the sound of thunder rolling overhead. “Not a good idea ri
ght now.” The thunder grew silent.

  Larkin walked back to them. “They won’t know what happened for sure until they can look through the rubble, but the firemen think it might have been an electrical short,” he told them. “House is pretty old and who knows when the wiring was last looked at. We need statements from you two, so be at the station at nine.”

  Nick held tight onto Jazz’s arm so she wouldn’t say anything. “We will be there, Detective.” He steered her toward the limo.

  “So what are you going to tell Detective Larkin when you don’t show up in the morning?” she asked. “Weather Channel said tomorrow will be a bright and sunny day.”

  “He only said nine. He didn’t specify if he wanted us there in the morning or the evening.”

  Before Jazz rounded the hood to climb into the driver’s seat, she took one last look at the destruction and then lifted her face to the sky as a drop of rain hit her face. In moments, the misting rain turned into a downpour. She stood there for a moment enjoying the cleansing power of the cold water on her skin. She noticed the fire soon died under the downpour.

  “Thank you, Mother Nature,” she whispered, climbing in.

  Cocooned in the dark confines of the front seat, she turned to Nick.

  “You did it, Jazz,” he said softly. “You dug deep within your power and you brought forth the one who had the power to destroy Clive.”

  “I did, didn’t I?” She grinned, proud of her accomplishment in bringing down the enemy. She released a weary sigh and rested her head against the headrest with her face turned toward him.

  “You do good work, love.” He leaned over and cradled her face with his hands, covering her mouth with his.

  Jazz slipped her tongue inside, tangling it with his while she pulled at the lapels of his tuxedo jacket. She was tempted to just end the spell, but she liked the idea of stripping him. Nick pulled the front of her gown down, baring a breast. A muted growl left his lips as he gently touched the purple bruises marring her skin.

  “One of Lilibet’s poultices will take care of that,” she whispered.

  But Nick had a different idea. He trailed his lips along the rounded flesh, soothing the lingering pain.

  “I wanted to tear his throat out when I saw him do that,” he murmured against her skin. “Rip him to shreds when he slapped you.”

  “I wanted to tear his throat out when he started taking your blood.” She cradled his head against her breast, stroking his hair. Needing more, she pulled his face up to hers.

  With their adrenaline running high, kisses weren’t enough.

  “If we don’t get out of here soon, Detective Larkin will decide to check on us,” Nick muttered, circling her ear with his tongue. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t fancy the idea of spending the rest of the night in jail with a charge of indecent exposure hanging over my head.”

  She nodded. “Ditto.” She cranked the engine.

  Nick looked over his shoulder at the lowered privacy screen, detecting a lingering fetid odor. “What do you think happened to Foulshadow?”

  “Who knows? But I intend to find a way to make sure he never betrays someone again.” She guided the limo down the driveway.

  “Is Krebs home?” Nick stroked the length of her thigh.

  “Yes.”

  “My place, then.”

  Jazz smiled and pressed down on the accelerator.

  With a little witchy magick it was easy to literally blow through red lights and make it to the boardwalk in record time. Jazz parked in the lot and followed Nick around to the rear of the building and downstairs to his lair.

  He didn’t bother turning on lights and she remained on his heels.

  Once her eyes adjusted to the dark, she noted a neatly designed apartment with an open design. But she noticed the large bed the most. No coffin for this vampire.

  “How—” anything else was cut off as Nick spun her around and kissed her deeply. She jumped up, wrapping her legs around his hips. She laughed as her labia brushed against his erection.

  “I could have cancelled the illusion spell earlier, but it was more fun to wait,” she said, rising up then lowering herself onto his cock.

  Nick widened his stance and pressed his palms against her hips, giving her the lead.

  Jazz’s breath hitched in her chest as she stared at the shadows crossing his face.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” she whispered. “You lost so much blood back there.”

  He rocked his hips against her, driving up into her. “Do I feel weak now?”

  Jazz threw her head back and laughed. “We survived!”

  “Yes, we did.” His mouth took hers as she took him.

  After a shower that continued what they had started the minute they arrived at his apartment, Jazz was ready to collapse into bed. She felt Nick’s body curved against her back. She had barely closed her eyes when a dizzying sensation overtook her. She snapped her eyes open and found herself wearing her lilac robe and standing in a familiar stone-walled hall. Women of varied ages in robes of different colors sat behind the stone table. But it was the woman in emerald green who snared Jazz’s attention.

  Hope mingled with uncertainty filled her. A part of her wanted to point out she did it even without their help. But she didn’t think this was the time to brag. Did her being brought here mean her banishment was to be lifted? And if that were the case, what would happen to her? She already knew she couldn’t return to the life she had first been trained for. Too much had happened over the past seven hundred years. She wasn’t the young witch she had been back then.

  “I understand the Protectorate is very happy with your endeavors, young Griet,” Eurydice spoke. “You righted many wrongs this night.”

  “I am sure the Protectorate is only happy that their kind is no longer in danger from Clive Reeves,” Jazz replied, ever cautious. Since the members of the Witches’ High Council didn’t look all that ecstatic or even invite her to sit, she had an idea that saving the vampires somehow managed to land her in trouble … again. She decided to test her theory with a positive spin. “I hope you are also pleased that Clive Reeves has finally received the judgment he deserves.”

  The elder witch’s faint smile wasn’t the least bit comforting. “I said the Protectorate was pleased. Not that we were.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Did you think we would end your banishment just because you claim to have destroyed Clive Reeves?” Eurydice asked.

  “Uh, yeah. Yes,” she quickly amended. “I realize a life was destroyed, but it was a life not worthy of continuation. He did not deserve to live considering what he had been doing for so many years. By taking his life, many others were released from their earthly bonds. And it’s not like I killed an innocent. In fact, if you want to get technical, I had killed him more than seventy years ago even if he managed to find a way to transfer his life force into another body at the moment of his death. So I only corrected that mistake.”

  “Do not be smart-mouthed with us,” Kabira, the powerful, who sat on Eurydice’s left, snapped. “You are an arrogant witch who still has not learned her place. Did you honestly expect us to lift your banishment and welcome you back to our ranks just because you finally cleaned up your own mess?” Her smile was as tight and prissy as The Librarian’s. “Besides, what proof do you have that you were successful? The house is nothing more than a memory, the property devoid of any evidence of what went on there. Not to mention Mother Nature was not the least bit happy that you brought down lightning. She plans to deal with you later on that matter.”

  “From what you said, the Protectorate seems to have no trouble believing it,” Jazz argued, at this point past caring what happened to her. “The shades killed him and freed themselves. The house buckled under the loss of Clive Reeves’ magick and I plan to go out there to cleanse the property of any of his power lingering there. Done deed!”

  Eurydice looked at each of her companions, nodding several times as if their conversation w
as all done on a mental plain. She turned back to Jazz.

  “If you remain out of trouble,” she sounded doubtful about that, “we will review the situation again in one hundred years.”

  Jazz’s jaw dropped. “One hundred years? Wait—”Just that fast she was back in bed with Nick.

  She rolled over with the intention of waking him then realized there was no sense in it.

  The sun had risen and after their tumultuous night and Nick losing blood, she knew he needed to rest in order to regain his full strength. For now, he was beyond rousing.

  Instead, she slipped out of bed and watched his still figure while she rummaged through his clothing and pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of shorts she hoped wouldn’t fall down before she got home.

  Thanks to her being called before the Witches’ High Council she wasn’t in the best of moods. As it was, she still had collateral damage—aka the limo—to deal with. She had a pretty good idea Dweezil was going to be hopping mad once he saw it. But that would be minor once he learned he had lost Foulshadow as his prized client. One way or another, Jazz intended to find that putrid and treacherous creature and make him pay for what he’d done.

  Including Irma.

  Krebs was carrying a mug of coffee out of the kitchen when Jazz crept in the back door after a quick trip to swap the limo for her T-Bird. But Irma wasn’t in the car.

  “Whoa, that fashion statement is definitely not you.”

  “No kidding.” She plucked the mug out of his hand and drank deeply. “Thank you.” She cradled the mug against her chest as she headed for the stairs.

  “Any chance you’re going to tell me what happened?” Krebs called after her.

  “No,” she called back, climbing the stairs.

  “Would it have anything to do with a famous horror actor’s mansion burning down last night?”

  She stopped on the fifth step. “The only fire I like is the one on the stove or in a fireplace.” She continued up the stairs where she took a long hot shower and then dressed in her own clothing. She picked up the t-shirt, pressing the soft fabric to her nose. She imagined she could smell Nick’s scent on the cloth even though it was clean. She carefully folded the clothing and left it on her bed.