My feet ached to follow them, and I pulled against Laphaniel.
“Oh, come with us, beautiful thing. It's warm down here...oh so very warm.”
The bones in my fingers cracked as I wrenched my hand free, tearing down the slope to the water's edge, instantly recoiling as the icy waters hit my face. Laphaniel yanked me back hard, sending me sprawling to his feet. He held a rock in his free hand and launched it into the waters. With a gasp of girlish laughter, the mermaids vanished into the lake, somersaulting from the rocks with unnerving grace, leaving barely a ripple.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, accepting his outstretched hand. “Doesn't it bother you?”
“What? Their song?”
I nodded, wondering how he could resist it. The alluring lament had seeped into the back of my head, beckoned me forwards, and although I knew to follow it meant death, it didn't matter.
“I can hear what they really sound like. Believe me, you wouldn't be running towards them if you could hear their true song.”
“What do they sound like to you?”
“Have you ever heard someone drown before?”
I shook my head, turning around to see one of them bob her head out of the water, her inky hair shimmering in the dark depths. Even from the shelter of the trees, I could hear her sing to me, though this time as my feet inched toward her, I clung to Laphaniel like a frightened child. Her music was as lovely as it was before, but the spell she had woven had been broken.
“What else have you got to show me?” I asked, my grip on his hand relaxing as the welcoming sight of his house came into view.
“What else do you want to see?”
“Everything,” I smiled, trembling as he ran his fingers down the edge of my cheek and down my neckline. “If we really have all of forever, I want to see everything.”
“As you wish.”
He had me wear a dress the colour of summer. The dew soaked silks of cobwebs were used to stitch together the beautiful hues of sunlight, glistening under the stars as if struck by an August sunrise. My skirts were made from storm clouds, my shoes from summer rain, frozen forever into slippers that tapped out the song of a thunderstorm every time I danced.
With my hair pinned up, loose strands of sun soaked red slipping over my face, I could almost pass for one of the fey...but only when Laphaniel looked at me. He made me feel like I was beautiful, as lovely as all the other fair creatures that joined in our dance. It was like he couldn't care less if they were there or not, as long as I was.
It made my heart soar, ache, race...
Break.
Hundreds of candles flickered in the twilight, placed without care amongst the branches and stumps throughout the forest, sending erratic shadows to join in the throng of the swaying fey. Laphaniel would not permit me to dance with anyone but him, twisting me away from the others as they outstretched their graceful hands to me.
“You're mine,” he whispered against me.
“I know,” I replied, resting my head on his shoulder, waiting only a moment for those little extra words I wanted from him. I knew that soon I would stop waiting for them all together, content in the knowledge that he wanted to be with me, and had yet to grow bored.
Breathtakingly beautiful men and women begged a dance from me, but I couldn't bear to move from Laphaniel's arms. We danced until the trees were tinged with the sunrises, watching as the moon faded and daylight took over. We waltzed past midnight and twisted until the light slowly faded again. As we swayed to the third sunset, Laphaniel took me up into his arms, and I fell asleep as he continued to dance with me to the unbroken song of the forest.
I lost count of the sunrises, having watched too many reflected in the waters of the lake to remember them all. The sunsets also rolled into one continuous pattern of night and day, with dawn melting into dusk as I danced until the sun rose again.
I spent every hour of every day with Laphaniel, his arms remaining tight around me as if he was afraid I would turn and leave him. As if it were a possibility that I could leave him.
He watched me as I laughed and danced, and his smile would always creep in a little later, his laugh sounding more forced than mine.
“Do you love me?” I asked, needing to know if he felt as much for me as I did for him.
“I love you, Teya,” he whispered back. “as much as you truly and honestly love me.”
Laphaniel's words ghosted over me with a meaning that was unfathomable. It was like there was more to what he was telling me...something I was blind to...something beyond the happiness I was embracing.
Perhaps if I looked harder...
...listened to the voice screaming in my head...
...maybe it was too easy to believe he loved me...
...and to forget everything else...
...to watch the sunrises...
...the sunsets...
...forever and ever and ever...
Chapter Seventeen
The sunlight trickling through the window woke me, its weak light seeming to struggle to pierce through the glass and warm me in my bed as it had done before. I curled my legs up, hauling the thick woollen throw around my shoulders, breathing in its earthy and familiar smell. A fire crackled and spat from the far side of the room, and I could smell the pinecones as they caught light and filled the room with warmth.
It wasn't quite perfect.
Laphaniel would always lie beside me until I fell asleep, but every morning I would wake up, and he would be gone. I longed to wake up in his arms, to watch as the light rose over his face, touching his perfect skin making him glow. I wanted to see his eyes as they flickered open, to see what they looked like before he knew I was watching him.
“Teya?”
I glanced up as I heard my name, pushing back the throw so I could peep out into the darkened room. "Hmmm?"
“Are you awake?”
“I'm not sure if I'm dreaming.” I stretched my arms out over my head, feeling the coolness of the air tingle against my hands. “This just feels like a dream, a weird one.”
“Oh?”
“Good weird.” I smiled, as I noted the uncertainty in his voice. “One I don't want to wake up from.”
I got up, wrapping the throw around myself and wandered over to the window. The sky had since turned an angry purple-grey, lashing down rain so hard that it made the glass sing with every furious drop. Mist coiled around the lake, seeping upwards around the trees, hiding the landscape behind a ghostly veil of smoke and cloud. Inching the window open, I felt the rain splatter against my face. I blinked as the droplets slid from my lashes and ran over my cheeks like icy tears, tasting them as they skimmed over my lips.
“You'll catch a cold, if you stick your head out of the window in the rain.”
I hadn't heard him walk up behind me, so I jumped as he slid his hands around my waist, and melted into him as he pressed his lips to my neck.
“That's an old wives’ tale.” I replied, tilting my head back so it rested against his chest.
“I'll remind you of that when you fall sick.”
“Would you look after me?”
“I thought you said you wouldn't catch a cold.”
“No, but I might catch pneumonia.”
Laphaniel smiled, reaching over me to shut the window. “Just to be on the safe side.”
He made to turn away, but I caught his hand and gripped it tight. "How long would it take for you to replace me?"
He stopped, and ran his thumb along the side of my hand. “Are you thinking of going somewhere?”
“You know what I mean.”
“What if I said you were irreplaceable?”
“I would say you were charming me.”
I watched with grim satisfaction as his smile faltered. “You're mine, Teya.”
“Only for as long as you want me.” I took his hands, pressing them against my lips as I closed my eyes. “What am I going to do when you've had enough of me? Will you take me home or leave me in the woods to die?”
“I won't grow bored of you.”
“I bet that's what you've said to all the other girls,” I said sadly. “My company amuses you at the moment, but it is inevitable that I will become a burden, and you will look for something new.”
“Will I?” he said, his voice a warning. “You assume to know my mind better than me then?”
“You've said as much yourself, Laphaniel. You are not human, you enjoy tormenting me. I am nothing to you.”
Hurt flickered over his face, and I instantly felt contrite but couldn't deny that I had given him the most fragile part of myself, and I feared for it.
“Why won't you tell me you love me?”
“Teya...”
“Please?” I whispered against him, resting my head on his chest so I could hear his heart thump. The sound was now so familiar, I could sing it in my sleep. “If you want to keep me, say you love me.”
Laphaniel pushed back, and my arms fell limp at my sides. I ached for him. “I can't, Teya.”
My vision blurred, and hot tears began their trailing descent down my face. I choked on a sob and flung myself on the bed, clutching at the pillow as I wept. I felt my heart break, and with it, all that was left of me began to shatter.
“I know you can't,” I sobbed. “I completely and utterly belong to you, but you will never be mine.”
The bed creaked as he lay beside me, and instinctively I curled up against him. “You do not love me.”
“Of course I do!” I said, panicked.
“No, you don’t!”
“What's wrong with me?” I asked, my voice raw. “Tell me and I'll change, I can do better, I promise I can. Just tell me what I'm doing wrong.”
“Teya, stop it.” Laphaniel said, pushing me back as I reached for him. “I can't do this...”
“No!” I begged, grasping at him. “No! I'm sorry, you don't have to love me back. I'm sorry okay? I won't push you again, I won't. I'll be good, I promise. Please don't send me away...not like Lily...please...please. I'll be good, I'll be a good girl. I can be whatever you want me to be, just don't let me go...”
“Stop!”
With inconceivable swiftness, he was on top of me. He snatched me by the shoulders and dragged me up to face him. His eyes blazed like the fire that spat in the grate. His fingers were harsh on my skin, and his face was a dark fury that wiped any misconceptions of his humanity from my mind. I gasped, and his hold loosened and I fell back against the pillows.
“I frighten you.”
A statement, not a question.
“Yes.”
“Then why,” he implored. “do you think you love me?”
“Because I'm yours...forever.”
“Forever?”
I nodded as I turned away, reaching up to touch the branches that swam through his house. They were strangely cold. The flowers, I noticed no longer bloomed a beautiful pale pink, but had withered and begun to die. The once sweet-smelling petals had browned at the edges, hanging limp from their stems before falling to the floor to join the rest of the fallen. The leaves too had changed. No longer were they a lush green, but a rich union of reds and golds that crumbled as my shaking fingers reached up to touch them.
“Autumn.”
My head shot up to look at him, his musical voice echoing around the room, repeating the single word until it finally meant something. A coldness that had nothing to do with the temperature of the room crept up my spine, and my stomach twisted. I swallowed quickly, eyes watering as I forced the bile back down my throat.
“Forever is a long time.”
I rose from the bed, letting the throw slide down my body and fall to my feet. I shivered but didn't dare inch towards the fire. I wanted to feel the cold. I wanted it to nudge against my exposed skin, just as it had been doing for the past few weeks. The chill had meant nothing then, but suddenly my world was ending.
“How could you?” I gasped, my voice nothing more than a choked whisper. “Why?”
“Because you made it so easy for me.”
He started to move closer, but seemed to think better of it and stayed where he was, sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at me.
“You tricked me!” I screamed at him, at last finding my voice. Anger flooded my body, a surge of rage that I clung to in a vain attempt to hold back my grief. “You lied to me.”
“I cannot lie to you, Teya. You were all too willing to forget Niven. You would not have stayed unless you wanted to.”
Laphaniel stood and stepped towards me. I remained rooted to the spot, glaring at him as my breath hissed through my teeth in seething gasps. “You kept me prisoner here.”
“You were never a prisoner.”
“You forced your...Glamour on me and made me believe I loved you.” I said, disgusted. “I thought I loved you.”
“You could have left at any time.”
“Would you have let me?”
He hesitated. “I want to think I would have,” he said at last, his words chilling.
“I've been here months.”
He shrugged, as if it all meant nothing to him and I forced myself to turn away. It was like he was after my soul, as if my heart was not payment enough.
“You've kept me here for months,” I repeated, my voice faltering, tears sliding down my face.
“Because you did not want to leave,” he said, the words gentle. His hand came up to cup my face, tilting it gently so I looked at him.
“You made me forget Niven.” I replied. “You made me forget that it was you who stole her away.”
“Because you have no hope of getting her back, was it not a relief not to think of her?”
“Fuck you,” I hissed, forcing my face away from his fingers. “What right do you think you have to control me like that? To manipulate me. To make me feel...”
“Happy?” he finished for me.
“Used,” I breathed. A shudder ran through my body as I remembered the first night in the woods. The feeling of ripped clothes, the scent of him on my skin...his lips on mine as we entwined perfectly beneath the moonlight. “There are words for people like you.”
Laphaniel's face darkened. “People like me?”
“Yes. Men who like to take advantage of vulnerable women. I was vulnerable, Laphaniel, and you used me.”
“Is that what you think?” he asked, the words quiet. Shocked. “That I raped you?”
Sullying such a perfect memory wounded me more than I thought possible, but I wanted to hurt him. I needed to know I could hurt him.
Laphaniel faltered, uncertain, and for a moment, he looked lost and incredibly young. We stared at each other, working together to destroy a friendship that was built on nothing but lies and magic.
“You knew exactly what you were doing in the woods, Teya,” he began, taking a breath as he stepped closer and forced me back against the wall. “You are so desperate to be wanted…by anyone, that you gave yourself up at the first opportune moment…”
My palm stung as I slapped him hard across his face, and pain bloomed at my cheek as the back of his hand forced my head to the side. My hand flew up, feeling the hotness where he had struck me, and my eyes followed the dribble of red that trailed down his lip.
“Don't follow me.”
He said nothing as he wiped at his mouth, smearing his chin with blood, but he moved aside as I ran past. A part of me expected him to grab my arm, but he let me go, his eyes black as he watched me leave.
Chapter Eighteen
I tore down the stairs, lunging for the door and praying that he hadn't locked it. I clasped the handle with both hands, heart hammering as I forced it open and fled outside. I didn't look back as I ran, sprinting through the trees as fast as I could with bare feet. Pain shot through my toes and heels as I ran over stones and hard earth, but I felt as if I deserved it all. I ran until I finally tripped and was sent sprawling to my knees into the cold wet mud.
My sob came out as a scream, a cacophony of pain that echoed past my fingers as I
tried in vain to muffle the noise. I sobbed until I retched, and finally rested my head on my knees, watching the rain as it slipped from dying leaves onto the mulch below.
I could feel the bruises on my feet from spending too many nights dancing, the warmth of wine against my lips, the sound of the trees as they sang, the weight of Laphaniel's arms around me, his heart beating against mine...all memories that had no right to linger as they did, and I wanted rid of them. I wanted them gone, but I ached for them in a way that threatened to tear me apart. I wondered if it would drive me mad in the end.
It had been too easy to forget Niven. She had been pushed from my mind with so little force that my stomach twisted with shame. I should have been able to hold on to her, when I was a child...and as an adult, I should have been able to hold on to her memory. I couldn’t bear the thought that perhaps Laphaniel had been right all along, that I was looking for an excuse not to look for Niven. The thought settled heavy and unforgiving in my stomach; why was it so easy to forget about her?
I dragged a hand over my face, wiping furiously at my eyes as I stood up. I took a deep breath and another, until I could breathe without gasping. I looked up and noticed that the way I had come had been completely swallowed up.
Branches and vines were knotted together so tightly it was as if there had never been a path there to begin with. Others crept down, sweeping and curling together, seemingly pushing me forwards. The trees swayed, bending low as if a wind had rushed through them. Branches raked at my face, wooden fingers tinged with autumn raindrops streaked across my cheek, leaving behind a trail of blood and grime. I yelped as the limbs of a young tree tangled in my hair, forcing me back as I struggled to tear free. They came up from the ground, roots breaking the earth to catch my feet as I stumbled on, snatching my hair from my scalp as they pulled me down.
I ran.
Ivy snaked down from the boughs to form a noose around my neck, hitching me up on my tiptoes as creeping vines slid up my leg, coiling up my thigh, crawling higher and higher. I ripped the cursed things from my body, gasping as I freed my neck with a frantic tug at the vine that was choking me. I staggered forwards, shrieking as I tumbled down the sheer edge that had been hidden by the mass of writhing creepers. Ancient laughter followed my descent, and as I reached out to grab at roots to slow my fall, but as my fingers scrambled for them, they jerked away. I skidded and somersaulted down, each brutal thump forcing the air from my lungs until I was dumped on the floor in a heaving mess. I waited for a few moments until I could breathe again before I stood up, realising I had stumbled upon the lake that Laphaniel had shown me when the summer blossom still bloomed.
Darling, There Are Wolves in the Woods Page 12