Darling, There Are Wolves in the Woods

by Lydia Russell

  “Sorry,” I mumbled, wiping my eyes and pouring myself another cup of tea, spooning three sugar cubes into it.

  “Have you told your friend of these feelings?” he asked, handing me a spotted handkerchief.

  “God, no,” I replied, dabbing my eyes on the cloth. “We just yell at each other a lot, but it seems to work for us, so don’t worry.”

  “Indeed,” he said, taking the handkerchief back and looking at it strangely before glancing back at me. “I don’t suppose, if you wouldn’t mind…could I keep this? Human tears are worth a pretty penny around here.”

  “Have it as payment for helping us.”

  “No, no, no, no!” he squeaked, holding his hands up, looking suddenly panicked. “The help is free, I want nothing…no…what would Mabel think of me? Keep the tears…”

  “No, take them,” I said, folding his hands over the fabric. “With our thanks.”

  “Not as payment.”

  “No, because I don’t need them, and I want you to have them.”

  “Right you are.” He smiled, giving a sigh of relief. “Your hand, girl. Let me fix that now.”

  The hobgoblin wandered back out into the other room, which I guessed was a kitchen of sorts. After a few minutes he trotted back in, carrying a colourful box covered with intricate carvings of woodland animals and flowers.

  “Any other injuries, before I fix this?” he asked.

  “I got whipped by one of the tails,” I said, wincing as he lifted my shirt and tutted.

  “I’ll clean these first, they’ll heal on their own, but you will have scars.” He rummaged in his box and pulled out a jar of sticky looking wax. It smelt strongly of herbs and something sharp that I couldn’t name, leaving behind a pleasant warming sensation as he slathered it over my skin. “Now give me your hand.”

  He held out his hand for mine, wrinkly, warm fingers closing over my wrist and I winced as he pressed down on the break. With a slow nod, he unwound Laphaniel’s makeshift splint, placing it with care on the arm of the sofa. A whimper escaped my lips before I could swallow it back down, tears stinging at the edges of my eyes.

  “It’s definitely broken.”

  “I guessed as much,” I gritted back.

  Aurelius hummed as he worked, rooting around his box to find strange bottles of glowing liquid, uncorking them to slather over my hand. Blue, then yellow, then finally a sickly green that for some reason turned all the others a vibrant purple. They burned as he rubbed them into my skin, almost unbearable and I had to fight not to tug my hand back. Slowly, the feeling faded, bringing instead an odd numbness that tingled up my arm, erasing all pain. I sighed and the room around me wavered.

  “What…” I tried to speak, but suddenly, simply talking took too much effort. The numbness spread over my shoulder, down my back…to everything else.

  “It won’t be broken when you wake,” the hobgoblin said, his voice sounding very far away.

  I had the sensation of something binding my wrist, but it was like it was happening to someone else. My head was a swirl of fog, light and heavy at the same time.

  Dull panic crept in at the edges of my mind, a strange feeling settling at the base of my stomach as the world around me dimmed and swirled. I stood, stumbling against the table, willing the world to be still. “Laphaniel?”

  “Shh, girl.” Something caught my elbow. “He’s right here. Lie down. Plenty of room for two.”

  My head hit something soft, and warmth enveloped me as a heaviness settled over my body. The thick quilt was tucked in tight, a gentle hand running over the top of my head, before patting it softly.

  I sighed and turned, rolling against the solid lump beside me, a familiar scent of spice invading my senses before sleep dragged me under.

  I dreamt of sun-drenched glades, my feet moving to the song the wind sang, never once growing tired. I spun with my head thrown back as my laughter echoed madly around me. I twirled and twirled and twirled, until the glorious world around me was spinning as madly as my dance. Strong hands held me at my waist, lifting me up, his own wonderful laughter joining mine.

  “I love you.”

  I forced my eyes open, blinking away the sleep that wanted to pull me back under. The few candles that remained lit barely illuminated the bed, leaving the burrow in a cosy darkness. Light glinted off the hourglasses dangling above, and I noticed the sand within them had stilled, as if they too slept.

  Laphaniel shifted beside me, his nose touching mine, the warmth of his mumbled words still tickling against my cheek. His eyes were closed, breaths coming out deep and slow. One arm was tight over me, holding me close. His heartbeat thumped a steady beat against my chest, and I realised I was holding him back, my arm locked firmly around his body.

  “Are you awake?” I whispered, my own words sounding strange in my ears, falling heavy from my tongue. I blinked again to try and clear my head, but my thoughts remained muddled, and I wondered if I had dreamt his words. “Laphaniel?”

  He barely moved, but his hands tightened around me, slowly tempting me back down in the comforting warmth of sleep.

  “Do you love me?” I whispered, unable to keep my eyes open any longer. He sighed against me, stretching his long legs out in the too small bed and buried his head against my neck. A soft snore brushed over my skin, then a few jumbled words, barely coherent.

  “More than anything.”

  A heavy slumber settled over me, leaving his words nothing more than an echo in my swirling mind. I fell asleep in a dreamless dark, not moving until morning.

  There were no windows in Aurelius’ burrow, so I could only guess it was dawn because when I stirred again more candles flickered with life, bathing the room in a welcoming light. The hourglasses had awoken, too, the glittering sands flowing back and forth, as the globes beside them span.

  I opened my eyes just as Laphaniel opened his, his irises shining lilac in the soft glow. We were still tangled together, my arms wrapped around his body, his legs around mine. His face a breath away from my own.

  For a moment neither of us moved, we just stared at each other, remaining wrapped up in each other beneath a sweet-smelling quilt. I broke away first, looking away as I slowly withdrew my hands from him, his sleepy words repeating over and over in my head.

  “Wait.” His hand tightened on mine, his voice soft.

  I turned my head, breath catching at the way he looked at me…as if there was no one else in the world. My heart quickened at the thought of what he might say, and then he kissed me.

  And I kissed him back, every worry, every doubt fading away as I gave in and let myself go. They were soft, gentle kisses, slow and careful…patient. Wonderful.

  I pulled back, and he hesitated, desire and hunger and something else blazing within his eyes. His hand came up against my face, bringing my forehead to his, fingers reaching into the tangles of my hair.

  “I love you,” he breathed, and I closed my eyes at the words, something deep within my soul crying out for his. “I don’t know what that means for you…I’m not asking you to forgive what I’ve done, I just needed you to know before we reach Luthien.”

  “Is this another trick?” I asked, remembering his arms around me as we danced under the trees, the weight of blossoms in my hair as spring rained down upon us. I remembered the dull ache in my chest when he rejected me under the singing oaks…and how different that had felt. “Because if it is, it’s cruel.”

  What was stirring deep inside me wasn’t numb and dizzy and drunk on Glamour. It wasn’t a whispered promise, a veiled dream, but raw emotion that threatened to claw at my heart…and quite likely my soul.

  “I’m not trying to hurt you,” he said, drawing back. “I don’t expect you to say it back, it’s just that somewhere…after everything, I realised I don’t want to be without you.”

  Stupid, unwanted tears slipped down my cheeks, and he brushed them away, his fingers leaving behind a warmth I found myself longing for. I shook my head and brushed him off.
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  “Until you grow bored.”

  He dropped his hand, fiddling with a stray piece of thread that had unravelled from the quilt instead.

  “You’re not denying it,” I whispered. “Even if it takes a hundred years…when all that is left of me is madness and bloodied feet, you’ll grow tired and walk away.”

  “I wouldn’t…”

  I swallowed against the lump in my throat, the ache in my chest. “I don’t believe you.”

  He nodded, untangling himself from the blankets, not saying a word as he left me on the bed, but there was nowhere he could go. He sank down on the sofa, raking a hand through his messy hair, looking up sharply as Aurelius skipped in.

  “Ah! You’re both awake, just in time for breakfast.” He set a large tray onto the table and clapped his hands in delight, grinning. “I watched you two all night, is that strange?”

  I forced a smile onto my face. “A little.”

  “Your auras could light this room, so bright, so…tangled.” He nodded, pouring green tea into matching teacups. “I could scarcely see where one began and the other ended, I would love to bottle it up… I won’t of course, but oh, it would be divine!”

  He wagged a finger at me, before passing Laphaniel a cup and a huge plate of bacon. “You and your fibs, little human. Not lovers eh? Something else entirely then, like my Mabel and me.”

  He handed me a plate and a cup of tea, his black eyes suddenly sad. He caught me staring and quickly wiped at his cheeks, where a stray teardrop had trickled down.

  “She was my Mabel,” he said, and he didn’t need to say anything else.

  “Thank you for all your help, Aurelius.” I said, closing my wonderfully healed hand over his gnarled one. “I won’t forget this.”

  He tapped my hand. “You’ll be leaving soon I am guessing? I’ve packed you a bag. There’s not much, but it’ll see you right for a few days at least. Where is it you’re off to?”

  “To Luthien, to bargain for her sister back,” Laphaniel said from the sofa, placing his empty plate back onto the tray. Aurelius stiffened, ears going flat as he stared at me.

  “Foolish!” he said, baring his teeth. “Gods above girl!”

  “I…”

  The hobgoblin whirled, smacking Laphaniel hard around the head. “You should know better, boy!”

  “Oh, don’t you start,” Laphaniel snapped, rubbing his head. “She is the most pig-headed creature I have ever met. In the short time I have known her, I have bargained my dreams away, fled for my life, been almost drowned by mermaids and very nearly eaten by trolls. If I keep saying no to her, I’m going to end up dead.”

  “Love will make you do all sorts of strange things,” the hobgoblin said, resting his chin on steepled fingers. “But that beautiful witch will have your head.”

  “We’ll see.”

  “You didn’t tell me the mermaids tried to drag you under too,” I said, my voice quiet.

  “Did you think they gave you up after I asked them nicely?”

  “No…”

  “You need to stop running off into the woods,” he said, and I could tell he was still hurting at the increased distance between us, a void I wasn’t sure we could fix.

  “You sulked off into the woods and nearly had your throat cut,” I said bristling, for I was in no mood to be told off.

  “You asked me to leave, I was giving you some space to think! I was barely ten feet away before I was struck, and I wasn’t listening…I wasn’t paying attention because all I could think of was you.” he raked a frustrated hand through his hair.

  “I have nothing to give you,” I breathed, feeling helpless and hating it. Slowly he made his way back to the bed, crouching low to take my hands in his. I didn’t pull away, needing him to hold onto me for that moment.

  “Please don’t believe that.”

  I laughed, and it was a dark and bitter sound. “You’ve said it countless times before, I’m just a worthless little girl who’s going to end up dead.”

  He flinched. “I’ve never said you’re worthless.”

  I took my hand back. “No, but you’ve made sure I thought it.”

  I glanced over at Aurelius, who was pretending to dust his books, ears twitching as he listened to every word we said. He caught my eye and gave a sheepish smile.

  I placed my untouched food and tea back onto the tray, hoping I didn’t offend our host, and stood up, backing away from Laphaniel as he rose beside me.

  “I can’t do this right now.”

  “I just wanted to keep you safe,” Laphaniel began, his words making me pause. “I never intended to hurt you. There is this fire inside you that is the brightest thing I have ever seen, and there are so many monsters that want to snuff it out. You are fearless and reckless…and yes, stupid! Because you don’t listen, and you think you know better when you don’t! You punish yourself for something you had no control over, again and again and again, thinking you are undeserving of any scrap of happiness because you were left behind. I want to make you happy, and I’ve done it all wrong…but I don’t know what to do. I wanted you to stay so I made you, and I hate myself for it.” He took a breath, looking lost. “I love you, Teya. More than I can bear.”

  The words were on the tip of my tongue, three little words that my heart was screaming out to say. I swallowed them back, keeping my gaze on Laphaniel, expecting perhaps a glimmer of hurt to flicker over his face…but there was nothing. He truly hadn’t expected me to say it back.

  I did love him though, an all-consuming love that threatened to burn me up from the inside, and I feared it would destroy me. I ached for him, my heart a frenzied mess whenever I was close to him. He invaded every one of my senses where he had no place to be, and it was as wonderful as it was terrifying.

  I just wasn’t ready to give him that sort of power over me; they were my feelings and he had hurt me in a way no one should ever be hurt.

  “We should be getting back on the road soon,” I said, and Aurelius nodded as he handed a pack over to Laphaniel. He took it without another word, his revelation hanging heavy between us.

  “Promise me you’ll stay off the paths after dark,” the hobgoblin said, handing me another pack, stuffed to the brim with food. “Go in an easterly direction from here, don’t follow through to the Lonely Lakes; it’s kelpie mating season and you don’t want to be disturbing them when they’re rutting.”

  “We’ll be passing through the Eerie, if we go the other way,” Laphaniel said, shouldering his pack. “The covens will be there.”

  Aurelius nodded, stroking his long beard. “Yes, yes, but they’re be busy selling the stock they have, they likely won’t be looking for more.”

  I glanced at Laphaniel, not wanting to walk through a bunch of witches. “Is there another way?”

  “You can loop right around to the bottom of the White Mountains, but it will take a few weeks to get there,” Aurelius replied, crouching low to fumble around in a cupboard. “You’ll need a lot more supplies, give me a moment.”

  “We’re not going through the mountains,” Laphaniel said, wearily. “We’ll take the Eerie, I’d rather face a few hags than a herd of Kelpies.”

  “Wise choice,” Aurelius nodded. “Yes, good, good. Will that be everything then, lovers who are not?”

  “I think so, thank you so much,” I said, kneeling so I could wrap my arms around the little man. He patted my back with a gnarled hand, smelling of earth and damp.

  The hobgoblin smiled as I drew back, his yellow teeth crooked in his wide mouth. “Then I have nothing left to give you but my blessing. Good luck to you both.”

  He shook Laphaniel’s hand as he passed, both little hands gripping Laphaniel’s larger one, whispering something to him that I couldn’t hear. Laphaniel shrugged, a subtle lift of his shoulder as he flicked a look at me, and the hobgoblin smacked him again.

  “Take care of each other,” he said as a final parting, leaning against his doorframe as we ducked beneath the twisted branches an
d back out into his ruined garden. He caught sight of his flowerbeds and winced. “My poor dahlias.”

  Beside me Laphaniel held out his hand, his fingers folding over mine as I reached for him. We didn’t say anything, but walked side by side through the giant oaks that loomed over the hobgoblin’s house, and followed the path that would lead us through the Eerie.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  The road to the Eerie was thankfully uneventful, though the long winding paths we walked for hours, became increasingly uncomfortable as we both refused to talk about what had gone on between us at Aurelius’ house. We didn’t talk about before either, the months I spent with him in his home, enchanted and blissfully ignorant. I couldn’t even begin to talk about it…the betrayal that burned within me…the hurt…the shame, the disgraceful way my body still yearned for the feeling of wild abandon that sparked through me.

  We talked about anything else, meaningless conversations that at first were stilted and awkward, but slowly flowed smoothly as we started to learn more about each other. I told Laphaniel of the last Christmas we had shared as a family, before Niven was taken. How it had rained so hard the village flooded and there had been a power cut. We cooked Christmas dinner on the camping stove, surrounded by candles and it was wonderful. Niven and me both received Furbies as gifts and I had loved my little pink one. Niven never took hers out of the box.

  “What’s a Furby?” Laphaniel asked, helping me over a wide crevice that he had simply leapt across like a gazelle.

  “It’s a weird, soft toy that sings at you,” I replied. “They’re a bit creepy really, maybe I’ll get you one someday.”

  “I’ll hold you to that.” He smiled back.

  Laphaniel filled the gaps with snippets of his life, how he had found his house as a crumbling ruin and had rebuilt it, preferring to be away from politics of his court. He had shrugged his shoulders when I mentioned his relationship with Lily, explaining how he had found her in his kitchen one day and she had something he wanted.