Yolo: The Lovely Little Lunatic

by Sa'id Salaam

  “Here, for protection only. Do…not, I repeat NOT…Shoot anyone,” Grimsly instructed and handed her a pistol.

  “No shooting,” she vowed crossing her little black heart. She spun on her high heels and sashayed out of the room.

  “You know that girl really is ready,” Casper offered gently. He knew how close they were so he made sure to tread lightly.

  “I know, more than ready actually. That’s what I fear for her most, overkill.”

  Chapter 8

  The drive from opulent Dix Hills to Amityville was like treading through time. When she arrived at the park any and everyone who was or wanted to be someone was in attendance.

  Not only was Treble and company holding court under one of the pavilions but their baby mommas as well. The well-used ratchet girls had an adjacent pavilion to keep tabs on their investments. Having kids by dope boys was better than welfare. They were all on welfare too but welfare doesn’t break you off with cash, drugs, and late night dick.

  Shontay had two kids by Treble, which made her the leader; Alexis had babies by Ray, Reggie, and Ray. Kenya had two kids by Ace and Kim had kids by Reggie and Treble. Everyone pretended that her son didn’t look just like Treble to spare their leader.

  Amityville’s booming drug trade meant everyone in attendances was fly. All the latest fashions were present along with the hottest wheels all waxed and shiny. Yolo pulled the drop top between two others and got out. Those closest to her got a great show of her bald vagina as she stepped out of the car.

  “A-yo who the fuck is this bitch?” both Treble and Shontay wondered aloud as Yolo made her way through the park. She had already spotted her target and made a zigzag beeline towards them.

  “That bitch ain’t from here,” Ray surmised since he never saw her before. “Probably Wyandanch or Brentwood?"

  "That bitch ain’t from here,” Alexis said growing concerned. The new girl represented new pussy and guys love new pussy. For that reason, old pussy hates new pussy.

  “Uh-oh! Look where she heading!” Kim groaned painfully.

  “Oh no she not!” Shontay said seeing her heading towards her man. “Come on!”

  Treble stood up so he could stand out. He did too in a crispy white wife beater that showed off his county jail push-ups. Typical upper torso nigga with pecs and abs but bird legs and chicken feet.

  “Sup ma,” Treble asked pulling Yolo next to him. He put a hand on her waist to feel her up and feel her out. If a strange girl lets you touch, she’ll let you fuck.

  “What’s up is your hand is on me,” Yolo replied with fake disgust. This was the first time a guy had touched her since puberty and her body reacted to it. She could feel a puddle forming between her legs. She hoped it wouldn’t run down her leg since she wasn’t wearing any panties.

  “Just tryna talk to you lil mama,” he said raising his hands in surrender. The high-pitched voice was so irritating she entertained the thought of shooting him in his throat.

  “Well I can talk, I ain’t made of braille, and you obviously ain’t blind,” she said placing a hand on his chest.

  “That bitch just tried you!” Kenya protested. That was all it took to set it off.

  “Bitch!” Shontay shrieked as she slapped Yolo from behind. Kenya and Alexis both got licks in while Kim watched.

  Yolo’s first instinct was to pull the pistol from her purse and murder everything moving. She knew if she did, she would have failed her mission. Her first mission and no telling when her mentor would give her another chance. Instead, she played girly and covered up to deflect the blows.

  “Y’all buggin yo! Shantay! Alexis, Kenya, Kim!" he shouted as his boys pulled them off the girl.

  Yolo recorded all the names then took mental snapshots of the faces once the fray was broken up. Ace had both Alexis and Shontay suspended in the air by their waists. They kicked and clawed at the air still trying to get to her. Meanwhile Ray and Reggie held back Kenya.

  “Thank you, what was that all about?” Yolo whined slipping back into character. She pretended to be terrified as the attackers were pushed away. Part of being a killer is acting and girlfriend was killing it.

  “Um, I don’t know,” Treble lied. “I don’t know them hoes.”

  “How can I make it up to you?” she asked licking her lips.

  "Just hit me so I can hit you,” Treble laughed and scribbled his number.

  “Why don’t all of us hang out? I have some girlfriends! You guys don’t mind white and Latino girls do you?”

  “Don’t mind at all!” No! No problem!” Ace, Ray and Reggie assured her. Treble too, he wanted a white or Latino too!

  “Ok, meet us at the Motor Lodge on 109. Tomorrow night at… say ten?” Yolo pleaded batting her eyes. Knowing they wouldn’t say no she didn’t wait for an answer, she turned and gave a going away party by tossing her little ass from side to side, as she walked back to her car. Again, those closest to the Camaro got a shot of her vagina when she got back into her car and drove away.

  “Well how’d it go young lady?” Grimsly asked as Yolo entered his room.

  “Great. They’ll be ready to die at ten pm sharp. Don’t keep them waiting,” she replied proudly. He offered a quick smile that changed to a pained expression. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, I um…who are you again?” Grimsly asked. Yolo thought he was joking until half of his face suddenly drooped.

  “Casper! Casper! Casper, Bar…” Yolo screamed as she ran for help. She gave up calling the useless Baron. All he was good for was decoration.

  “What? What’s wrong?” Casper asked looking terrified as he answered the call. Yolo saw fear in his eyes but was too young to understand it.

  “It’s Mr. Grimsly! Something is wrong!” she shouted, snatched his hand, and dragged him to his room.

  “Oh no! A stroke,” Casper sighed recognizing the signs immediately.

  “I’ll call 911,” Yolo said rushing for the landline. She was now terrified herself at the deadly diagnosis. This was the first man in her life who loved her and she loved in return.

  The three men of the house were the only ones who didn’t come at her dick first. No wonder she developed a hatred of dicks.

  “Call 911? Here?" Casper asked at the absurdity of the statement. Even the Baron raised an eyebrow at the statement. “I’ll call the private doctor.”

  The private doctor was a fifty something white man with an annoying chuckle and roaming eyes. He felt Yolo and down with his eyes before even glancing over at the patient.

  “Him, not me!” Yolo said dangerously and pointed at Grimsly.

  “Ah yes, let’s see," he said as he went to examine him. “It’s a stroke alright.”

  Poor Grimsly was now completely paralyzed unable to move or speak. Even worse, he was complete alert, trapped inside his own body. All he could do was look and blink. Every time he caught Yolo’s eyes, he blinked rapidly. Only it was too much for her so she turned away. The doctor hooked up monitors and a feeding tube before packing his equipment.

  "How long is he going be like that?" Yolo asked sadly.

  “Not long,” the doctor laughed. Yolo smiled along with him suddenly optimistic.

  “So he’ll get better?” she cheered.

  “Oh no, he’s dead,” he laughed again sending her into one of her white-hot fits of rage.

  “Is this the only doctor you have?” Yolo growled to Casper.

  “No, I have a cou…” was all he got out before Yolo pulled her gun and fired into the doctor’s smirk. That shut up the chuckling. He sure didn't find that funny.

  Baron cringed at the explosion of violence while Casper laughed Mr. Grimsly was quite amused as well but couldn’t show it. Instead, he just blinked approvingly.

  “Guess I’ll call the cleaner to come scrape him up. Better call in another hitter to handle that Amityville situation as well,” he said. Casper laughed internally thinking, Wait for it…

  “No! I can handle it! Amityville I mean. I’m not to
uching him,” she said turning her nose up at the dead doctor.

  “Four guys? All dead? No trace? No witnesses?" Casper dared while Grimsly blinked ‘no’.

  “Hells yeah! I already got them to meet me at ten. Come ten fifteen them fuckas is dead!” she assured him. She left out the part about killing their baby mommas. That was personal after all. This was business.

  “Handle it then,” Casper shrugged and walked out.

  Yolo sat with Grimsly as the cleaner came and took the doctor away. He was headed either to the dump or to feed the pigs but she didn’t ask. Didn’t care, she just sat and watched her surrogate father blink until he fell asleep.

  Chapter 9

  “Yo we gon’ switch on these hoes!” As soon as I fuck this bitch y’all can heave her!” Treble proclaimed. New pussy is exciting enough on its own but white and Latino pussy is exotic. Like driving a foreign car or eating strange food.

  “Bet!” Ace, Reggie and Ray agreed. They were all down for the gangbang. They sat around the motel room sipping, smoking, and watching porn to get ready. Dudes always put on a porn with a good sloppy blowjob as a hint. Or constantly write about them; hint.

  “They’re here!” Reggie shouted and jumped to his feet. He rushed over and snatched the door open with a bulge in his pants from the movie. He smiled at Yolo then looked past her for the white and Latino girls. “Where are your friends?”

  “They coming, stuck in traffic,” she replied and stepped inside. She ran her eyes around the room and saw everyone was accounted for. “I brought bubbly!”

  “I’ll take that. What’s up girl?” Treble said rushing forward. He licked his lips trying to be sexy but still sounded like a bitch without any bass in his voice.

  As Treble pulled the cork out Yolo pulled plastic flutes from the bag. Treble was too thirsty to notice the cork came out too easily minus the pop that makes popping bottles fun. He filled his friends’ glasses and saw Yolo didn’t have one.

  “You not drinking ma?” he wondered.

  “Oh no. That stuff is poison!” she giggled wickedly at her own inside joke. The men didn’t get it but I bet you did.

  Suddenly the action on the TV caught her attention. On screen was a very pretty, young light-skinned girl sucking a long black dick. There were enough curvy veins in it to be a short story in braille. The girl was working it too; all lips, wrist and neck. Yolo was mesmerized.

  “Come on lil mama,” Treble said pulling Yolo onto his lap as they all watched the show.

  “Son blinking his eyes like he bout to pass the fuck out!” Ray cheered. Good head does deserve a cheer.

  “Nah, he sending Morse code! He saying damn this bitch got some good ass head!” Reggie laughed.

  “Morse code!” Yolo jumped up and shouted. She finally realized that’s what Grimsly had been doing. She wanted to just shoot them now and rush home to see what he was saying. In the end, she decided to wait. It wouldn’t be long anyway.

  “Chill baby,” Treble said pulling her back on his lap. To help her chill he slid a finger past her wet panties and fondled her clit.

  “No!” Yolo shouted when he tried to push the digit inside of her. She clamped her thighs and grabbed his wrist to prevent the penetration.

  “Ok ma, chill,” he relented and went back to making circles on her clit.

  Treble played in her pussy with one hand while sipping champagne with the other. Yolo was nearing the first orgasm of her life when a deep yawn interrupted him. Yawns are contagious in general but especially when everyone has been poisoned. She smiled brightly as the men all yawned and fell over. Treble took one last deep breath and exhaled his soul.

  Yolo was too curious about what was happening between her legs to ignore it. She put her finger where Treble’s finger had been and did what he did. A minute later, her whole body convulsed when she came.

  “Dayum!” Yolo exclaimed at the life changing moment. She picked up the smoldering blunt from the ashtray and took a pull. She mimicked what she saw Ray do and let the smoke billow out her mouth while inhaling into her nostrils.

  “Eww! Why you gotta be all nasty with it?” Yolo grimaced when the male porn actor pulled his dick out and skeeted on the pretty face. “Ok, time to get back to work.”

  Yolo slipped on latex gloves and collected evidence like a CSI tech. She checked each pulse as she took the plastic glasses back. She flushed the blunt clip with her DNA and prepared to leave. Once she hit the door, she doubled back and took all of their phones. This would make tracking the girls down that much easier. This wasn’t business. This was personal.

  “Well how did it go?” Casper asked when Yolo returned. Her making it back was good but four dead guys would be even better,

  “Told you I got this homie!” she shouted back twisting her lips and cocking her head back confidently. She lifted her hand for a high five and got it. She tried her lick with the Baron and got the usual. Nothing.

  “Ok then,” Yolo giggled at the snub and then got serious. “Oh I know why Mr. Grimsly keeps blinking! It’s Morse code!”

  “Yes! Damn why didn’t I think of that?” Casper asked popping his own forehead. As if, he could have had a V-8. “How did you figure it out?”

  “Um...” Yolo stammered remembering the porno tape. “Come on let’s go see what he’s trying to say!”

  “You know Morse code?” he asked as he followed her to Mr. Grimsly’s room.

  “No, I’ll Google it” she replied and rushed into his room. He blinked, ‘How dare you barge in without knocking,’ but she wasn’t ready yet. After a brief YouTube video and instructions from professor Google she was all set.

  “Now say what you were saying. Go slow and take your time,” Yolo said loudly as if he were hearing impaired instead of paralyzed. She began to translate the dots and dashes as he blinked. A dark cloud came over her face as she read the words.

  “No!” Yolo stood and yelled like a truculent child.

  “What?” Casper asked about the sudden outburst. Yolo refused to reply so he took the paper from her hand and read. ‘K-I-L-L M-E’

  “But….why?” Casper frowned. He gave the paper back so Yolo could translate what came next.

  ‘D-O-N-T L-E-A-V-E M-E L-I-K-E T-H-I-S K-I-L-L M-E P-L-E-A-S-E,’ Yolo read along shaking her head.

  “He’s right you know. He’s a proud man and deserves better than this,” Casper said softly. Grimsly seemed to nod his eyelids in agreement.

  “I know,” Yolo sighed. Casper was right. He did deserve not to live like this. “I can’t.”

  “I’ll call another doctor,” he said and walked out of the room to do just that.

  “You’re welcome,” she said in response to the next message he blinked at her. They shared one final conversation until the doctor arrived.

  “What is that?” Yolo asked the balding black man as he filled a syringe with clear liquid from a vial.

  “It’s a sedative. Don’t worry; he won’t feel any pain. He’ll just go to sleep and won’t wake up until judgment day,” he said softly.

  “I love you too,” Yolo smiled in return to Mr. Grimsly’s final words. It was the first time he ever said it but she knew it all along. No one ever treated her kindly until he came along. All kindness and compassion died along with him.

  The death rattle alerted them that Mr. Grimsly had left the building. The doctor leaned over to close his eyes while Yolo re-filled the syringe.

  “Ouch! What are you doing?” the man asked after Yolo stuck him with the needle.

  “Don’t worry, you won’t feel any pain. Just go to sleep and wake up on judgment day,” she teased. The heavy sedative worked quickly and soon there were two dead men in the room.

  “What the hell did you do?” Casper demanded when he led the cleaner in the room to collect his mentor.

  “He killed Grimsly so…” Yolo grumbled.

  “So I’m running out of doctors is so!” he shot back.

  “No pigs!” Yolo growled at the cleaner.

&nb
sp; “No, no pigs,” he assured her. He walked over to the man he known for many murders over many years and removed his hat. He said a silent prayer before crossing himself and got to work.

  With Grimsly died restraint. The murderer with morals kept Casper in check more often than not. There were times when the boss ordered whole families hit but had to settle for one or two deaths. Murder makes a statement and the more heinous it is, is an exclamation point. He knew Yolo wouldn’t mind going the extra mile. In fact, he planned to encourage her to go there.

  Chapter 10

  Casper waited until he heard Yolo enter the den before he hit the play button. At first, she thought the footage of the girl fight was from the internet until she recognized herself.

  “Hey that’s me! Where did you get that?” she demanded of the footage of Shontay and company jumping on her.

  “Black Mob?” he replied sarcastically. “My question for you is what are you going to do about it?”

  “I’m going to each one of their houses and I’m going to kill anything alive. People, pets, plants, whatever it is, it’s dying,” Yolo vowed. She planned to sneak and carry out the attacks but the nod of Casper’s smiling head was a green light.

  “Have fun,” he said to her back as she rushed happily from the room. The Baron twisted his lip like he wanted to protest but said nothing.

  “That’s what I thought you’d say; why don’t I call for some strippers? Order some wings and blowjobs?”

  The Baron still didn’t reply but wouldn’t have said no anyway. The large man was very fond of wings and blowjobs just like every guy.

  Kenya and Alexis planned to make killing them as easy as possible. Half of Amityville was in hiding after the quadruple homicide but not these two. No, they wanted to hangout, smoke weed, and drink beer like always. Usually it cost a little head or a little ass but tonight it would cost them a little more. Actually a lot more.

  As soon as Yolo pulled on the block, she spotted her targets. She doubled checked their pictures not believing how easy this would be. They left the weed spot and hit the corner store. While Kenya paid for cigars with change, Alexis swiped a forty of malt liquor. Ironically, their next stop was the scene of the crime. Call it fate, karma, whatever, but they were about to die at the same place they transgressed.