Steel My Soul (Motorcycle Club Romance) (Sons of Steel Motorcycle Club Book 4)

by Lux, Vivian

  When they started shouting for me, I was only a few feet away. I sank to my knees in the mud and was already feeling for Thorn's pulse before Case stopped bellowing for me. "Where was he hit?" I demanded. The pulse was there, weak, but steady, and I began to feel for the wound.

  "I don't know, fuck, he was in front of me the stupid kid. He just fucking dropped like a rock." Case was right behind me, practically shouting in my ear. "I dragged him around here, get him out of the way. Those fucking bastards, I'm going to kill..." his words faded into an incoherent growl, and I heard him tear off back into the fray.

  "Fuck kid, you got a target on your back or something?" I hissed as I located the wound. A clean shot, straight through his side. Entrance wound in front, exit wound in back, no major organs. Between this and the bullet that had grazed his cheek over the winter, this kid was amassing an impressive array of scars at a young age.

  "Must be," he croaked out in the dark. "How bad is it, Doc?"

  "You're going to live," I told him. "It's just going to hurt like fuck for a while."

  "Hurts like fuck right now," he grimaced. "Fucking cold."

  The full moon peeked out from behind a cloud and suddenly the lawn was illuminated in a blue glow. I could see Thorn's face, ghostly in the moonlight, pale with shock, glimmering with sweat. All around us were the sounds of gunfire and yelling. "We need to get you off the damn lawn," I muttered. "Can you walk?"

  Thorn lifted his head and I saw the dark blood spurt from the wound. "Stop it," I commanded.

  His head fell back, his eyes unfocused. "Oh fuck me," I whispered.

  I bent carefully, my knees screaming, my lower back in agony. I lifted the kid around the armpits right as the moon disappeared behind another fucking cloud. "Shit." I growled. The door was only about ten feet away, but in the pitch dark of the Pine Barrens, it may as well have been on the wayward moon. "I got you," I told Thorn as a moan escaped the kid's lips.

  Then I began to drag him in the direction of the door. Slowly, so fucking slowly, how did I ever get so goddamned fat in the first place? How did this shit happen? I yanked on the kid, pissed at myself, and drew another moan from him. "Shit fire," I bellowed, resolving to start a weight loss regimen, healthy eating, weights with the young guys all of that shit I should be doing just as soon as this hellish moment was over. Just a few more fucking steps and we'd both be to safety.

  There was a sudden, stabbing pain in my lower back, worse than any pain I had ever felt. My legs would no longer hold me and the boy and I both tumbled down into the mud.

  It was cool down there, felt good on my sweaty body. I could feel the cool mud against the skin of my arms, soaking through my already dirty T-shirt. But there was warmth too. A warmth spreading along the skin of my back. It spread down and down and then suddenly stopped. It was strange how I just couldn't feel it spreading any lower.

  With a start, I realized that was because I couldn't feel my legs.

  "Help!" I screamed into the pitch-black night. I waited for the moon to come out, for someone to see us lying there, for someone to come. "Help!" I yelled again, as I felt the warmth become cold.

  There was a shout and some voices. As if it knew I needed it, the moon came out above us and suddenly there was a face peering down. It was asking me something, yelling at me for some reason, but all I wanted to do was float away to that big, beautiful moon. I was so damn tired.

  So I closed my eyes.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Gabriela

  I created a ringtone for him, because that's what people who are coupled do for each other. Or so I figured, but really how the hell would I know?

  It was "Crash Into Me," by Dave Matthews Band. I didn't much like the song, but it made me giggle like a twelve year old whenever I heard Dave repeat "Crash into me! Crash into me!" whenever Crash called because he wanted to get into me.

  I was clearly not mature enough to be in a relationship. But then again, neither was Crash. We had that in common.

  It had been exactly a week to the day since we exchanged I love yous and I hadn't stopped smiling since. I had off that day, so I was lolling around in bed, contemplating the onerous task of actually getting myself vertical when my phone lit up with Dave's dirty talk set to music. I could barely control the fit of giggles and almost missed the call. "Hello?" I sniffed, trying to swallow back the mirth.

  "What are you wearing?" Ben adopted a mock-suave tone.

  I rolled over in bed and looked at the clock. It was only nine in the morning. He must have worked an overnight shift at Jokers. Sometimes Sal let him help with restocking when they got a new shipment of kegs. "Actually, I'm in bed, soooo, nothing," I confessed.

  "You're in bed, naked, right now?" he said excitedly. "Oh Christ, I'll be right over."

  I giggled some more. "Go ahead, I'll make you breakfast," I offered, suddenly wide awake. "What do you want?"

  "Coffee," he yawned. "With a side of you."

  My whole body flushed and I felt that urgent downward surge. "Well hurry the hell up," I groused. "Before both me and the coffee get cold."

  "Bye," Crash clicked the phone off before I could say another word and I laughed again, staring at the ceiling.

  I was so fucking happy it was strange. This lightness, this comfort, it was such a new feeling inside of my skin. I felt beautiful, I felt confident. I wanted to run up to strangers on the street and tell them, "I'm in love. Me. Gabi Ortiz, can you believe it?"

  I rolled out of bed and pulled a pair of yoga pants over my naked legs. They were Crash's favorite pair and I knew he would protest if I dared to wear anything by way of underwear. I yanked on an old T-shirt and piled my curls into a knot on my head that added six extra inches to my height. I caught a glimpse of myself in my battered vanity mirror. Old Gabi would have thought she looked like shit. New Gabi, the one who saw herself through Ben's eyes, knew she looked beautiful.

  I unlocked the front door and set about in the kitchen, starting the old Mr. Coffee I had stolen from the dumpster at work and rummaging around in the fridge for suitable breakfast food. I came out with a block of cheddar cheese and some eggs and figured I'd make omelets.

  The butter was just melting in the pan when I felt a pair of hands snake around my waist. "Jesus fucking Christ!" I screamed, nearly knocking the egg carton to the floor. "How'd you sneak up on me like that?"

  "You get very focused when you cook, " he answered, swiping a wayward curl behind my ear. "It's cute as hell."

  He must have known I was in the mood to holler at him some more, because he pulled me in for a long, lingering kiss. His stubble grazed my cheeks as he pressed my lips open, conducting a leisurely sweep of my mouth before pulling back.

  "Sorry," I muttered, "I didn't brush my teeth yet."

  "Tasted fine to me," he smiled, turning and grabbing a mug from the cupboard above the sink. "Caffeine," he groaned, mimicking a zombie.

  "You poor thing, have you slept?" I asked, holding out the pot. He held out the chipped navy blue mug he had already claimed as his own, and I poured the steaming hot coffee out for him.

  "Nope," he grinned, cupping his hand around the mug and taking a huge gulp.

  "Ben, that's like pure steam, how can you drink it that hot?"

  "You're right, it definitely needs something," he said, setting it down firmly.

  I was turning to the fridge to get him an ice cube when I felt him press against me from behind. I gasped when his fingers sank down below my waistband, staggering back as his fingers found the hot, buzzing pearl of my clit. "Aaah, that's what I need," he growled into my neck, letting his fingers dance along my soft folds for a second.

  I sagged backwards into him, helpless in the onslaught, the wetness rushing down to meet him so fast I could feel his fingers sliding inside of me as if by accident. "Jesus fuck," I gritted as I shuddered and shook. I collapsed forward against the counter, cheeks flaming, as he pulled his soaked fingers from me and casually sat back down.

  He ma
de sure I was looking at him. Then, slowly and very deliberately, he ran his wet finger around the rim of the coffee mug, lining it like a salted margarita glass. Then he took a sip. "Perfect," he breathed, exhaling in contentment.

  "You...," I gasped.

  "Me," he nodded, idly sucking on his fingers.

  When I finally collected myself enough to finish cooking, I found that I had a hell of an appetite. Orgasms make me hungry, and apparently giving me orgasms make Crash ravenous, because the two of us made short work of an entire dozen eggs before we finally gave up on propriety and started eating directly from the block of cheddar.

  "Hey!" I protested as he snagged the last crumb of cheese.

  "Sorry, I was hungry."

  "How on earth are you still hungry?"

  "I'm a growing boy." That elusive dimple popped out of his stubble and I felt my resolve weaken.

  "Do you want something else to eat?" I asked, getting up to stare at my fridge. "And don't say me!" I barked at him, whirling around just as his mouth was opening.

  He popped it back closed so quickly that I had to laugh. Crash hid a yawn behind his hand. "Nah, thanks babe," he said, "I was just messing with you. I'm actually full for like the first time in my life." He smiled. "If I had known how well Latinas cooked I would have maybe stuck around longer in the past."

  "Oh really?" I brandished a spatula at him. "Clearly you were sleeping with subpar Latinas."

  "Clearly," he agreed, getting up to nuzzle my neck. "Babe, you mind if I lie down a sec? I'm wiped."

  "Go," I pushed him. "I was going to wash my hair today anyway."

  "I'll see you tonight," he joked.

  "Shut up, we're doing something today."

  "Yes ma'am," he nodded as he fell backwards onto the bed.

  "You're teaching me to ride a motorcycle. You've been putting it off."

  "Have not," he protested with a yawn.

  "You have. I told you, it was not a request, it was a demand."

  "Ooh, order me around some more, my lady," he muttered, his voice drifting off into sleep. He let out a small puff of breath and his jaw relaxed.

  I knelt by the bed and watched him sleep for a moment, savoring the peace on his face. I tugged the blankets up over his body and kissed his scarred head, feeling that same peace inside of me.

  Love. It was all very strange.

  Chapter Thirty

  Crash

  "I did well, didn't I?"

  I laid back on the futon and watched her tight little body as she shimmied her way out of her street clothes and into those lovely yoga pants. I was so intent on watching her that she shot me an impatient look over her shoulder.

  "You did great, babe," I nodded.

  "I think I'm getting the hang of it," she went on, yanking a shirt over her head. When she turned to face me, her nipples saluted me and my mouth went dry.

  "Uh yeah, totally," I agreed, sitting up, my raging boner too uncomfortable in this position. "Next we'll work on you maybe going faster than ten miles an hour, whaddya say?"

  She came over to me and smacked my shoulder. "Teacher's fault, not mine," she protested. "You started me out on a road, I was terrified."

  "You did better in the parking lot, for sure," I agreed, tugging on her waistband. I wasn't really in the mood to talk anymore, and Gabi knew it, She sighed one of her kitteny little sighs and sagged forward into my lap, burying her head on my shoulder and nuzzling my earlobe.

  I pounced on her exposed neck like a starving man in sight of food. That curve just drove me fucking crazy. There were so many different ways I could kiss it; light and soft and teasing, or hard and rough, practically biting, and every variation in between. I was on a mission to kiss every atom that made up her perfect golden skin.

  I was making pretty good headway when my phone vibrated in my pocket.

  "Fucking Sal," I muttered into Gabi's neck.

  "Tell him to go fuck himself for me," Gabi gasped as my mouth teased across the fabric separating my lips from her erect nipple.

  "I'll do that." I yanked the stupid thing out of my pocket and stared at the number, all the blood draining from my limbs.

  "Who is it?" Gabi asked me from very far away.

  Case.

  My mind went dark seeing his name on the screen. Case and his girl, my old girl, the straws that had broken my back and run me out of Philly. It seemed so far away now, almost ridiculous that it had mattered to me so much that I was willing to break an oath to get away from the pain. Lexi, fuck, I hadn't spared a thought for her since meeting Gabi. If Lexi was a candle, then Gabriela Ortiz was the whole fucking sun.

  "Yeah?" I growled into the phone. This cocksucker better have something damn important to say to me.

  "You're alive?" The big bastard sounded exhausted and afraid. All of the hairs stood up on the back of my neck. I sat up quickly and Gabi jumped from my lap. My confused cock yearned after her even as my mind went into overdrive.

  "I'm alive, yeah, what the fuck?"

  Case breathed heavily into the phone for a moment, I heard scraping sounds, then a muffled conversation. Then his voice came through much clearer than before. "Doc got hit."

  "What is it?" Gabi demanded, fear in her voice. I could see her looking at me, terror written on her beautiful face. Fuck. Oh fuck me.

  "Got hit?" I repeated.

  Case seemed to rally. "Safehouse got attacked last night. Cartel bastards or maybe their hired bitches, whatever. They hit us hard and then sped off into the night. Some of the Storm guys tried to follow them, but we were too slow."

  I didn't give a shit about the narrative. "The fuck did you say about Doc?" I heard my voice rising, the colors around me threatening me with their vivid brightness. No, fucking no, not Doc.

  "He got hit," Case sighed heavily. "He and Thorn both got shot, Thorn first, then Doc when he was trying to get Thorn to safety. They're both at Jeff."

  I exhaled the breath I didn't know I was holding. They were at Jefferson Memorial Hospital. That meant..."Alive," I said.

  Case's voice was thick. "Thorn, yes. Dude's already complaining about missing the action being stuck in there."

  He was avoiding the topic. "And Doc too, right?" There was a heavy pause and I tasted panic. "Doc too, right? What the fuck, answer me Case!"

  "They got him," he choked, "right in the back. Fucking hell, right in the spine. It's touch and go, man."

  Everything faded out from my vision and all I could see was red. Bright crimson, the color of arterial blood, hot and throbbing in my skull. "Where are the bastards now?" I asked, low and steady, calm as anything.

  "We don't fucking know," Case's voice was suddenly raw with anger. "If we knew, then they would be dead, you understand? I was just doing you the fucking courtesy of interrupting your little vacation to let you know that two of your brothers have fallen. That is, if you still think of them as your brothers."

  "Fuck you, I'm a brother," I hissed.

  "Yeah?" Case said shortly. "Fucking prove it."

  The line went dead.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Gabriela

  I knew not to touch him. I wasn't even sure if he'd know I was me.

  "Fuck you, I'm a brother," he had hissed into the phone. His voice was completely changed. And then he let his hand slowly fall down to his side as he stared straight ahead. His whole body was coiled up, tense as a guitar string, vibrating with anger.

  Then he stood up, grabbed his leather jacket and made for the door.

  In that split second, I knew I had a decision to make. I could let him walk away. Somehow, in my heart, I knew that meant I would never see him again. But then I would be protected from whatever bad news had befallen him due to that phone call. That would be the safe option, shielding my heart the way I used to.

  Or, I could follow the man I loved because I was a changed woman.

  He was out on the front walk when I made my decision. I tore out the front door and leapt on his back. "Where the fuck are you
going?" I demanded, gripping his neck tightly.

  He made a choking noise and staggered backwards, clawing at his throat. I loosened my grip only slightly, and we both fell to the ground.

  "Gabi, no," he told me, low and dangerous.

  "Fuck you, you're not leaving without at least telling me what the fuck that was all about.”

  His face contorted. "It has nothing to do with you. It's not your shit. Don't worry about it."

  "You think I'm not going to worry about it? I see how you are right now. What the fuck is your plan here?"

  He looked up to where his bike was parked on the street. "I'm going to Philadelphia," he said, and I heard the note of icy resolve.

  "Okay then," I exhaled. "Well, then, hold on for a sec."

  "What the fuck are you talking about?"

  He was standing back up again as I ran into the apartment screaming, "Just stay right there, Benjamin Nelson! Don't you fucking move a muscle!"

  "Gabi, what the hell?" His eyes widened as he saw me locking my door. "Gabi, come on, what are you doing?"

  I shrugged into my coat and shouldered my purse. "I'm coming with you, asshole."

  His face crumpled. "Gabi, baby, no, I can't...I can't have you there. It's not safe."

  "You'll keep me safe," I told him defiantly, jutting out my chin.

  "I can't...I can't be sure of that."

  "Come on," I said softly, cupping my hand to his cheek. He turned and nuzzled me and I swear I saw tears glittering in those piercing blue eyes. "Aren't you always telling me you cheated death once?" I smiled. "I've been fucking you often enough that I'd think some of that luck would rub off on me."

  His mouth twitched slightly and for a moment I thought I had him. Then it set again into that grim line. "Gabi, no, you're not coming."

  My pulse beat in my throat, "You motherfucker," I shrieked, edging close to hysterical. "You almost died once and that was before I even had a chance to know you. If you think I am letting you walk away from me like this then you don't fucking know me at all. I'm not letting you walk away from me, Ben. I'm not letting you get on that bike without me, goddammit." I slugged him as hard as I could in the chest. "If I have to break your legs myself, so goddamn be it!" I shouted, swinging my leg out in a sharp kick.