by Lux, Vivian
Doc's eyelids fluttered and I couldn't help myself, I stepped back. He looked menacing even in spite of all of the tubes going into his body. When I saw him, I looked at Crash first. How was he taking this?
There was a strange ticking, jumping muscle along his cheek. His dark eyebrows twitched and narrowed, knitting his brow together.
"I look like shit, I know it," the huge man growled.
I heard Crash exhale. "You look like shit," he nodded, his voice choked.
Doc's eyes fluttered open. "That your chick?" he asked, then coughed, his voice reedy and raspy with effort. His throat sounded sore.
Crash didn't look at me, but I heard the pride in his voice. "Yup."
"She looks too good for you."
"She is." Crash stepped backwards. "Doc, I gotta take a piss."
"Thanks for sharing, dipshit," the big man sighed.
Crash walked back to me and brushed a kiss across my lips. "Stay here, okay?"
"Sure," I croaked.
I stood stock still, frozen to the spot. Doc made a pained expression and clicked something in his fist, and then relaxed. "You can sit down, honey," he wheezed, his voice much gentler. "I won't bite ya."
I looked behind me and lowered myself into the uncomfortable chair. "Sorry," I said reflexively.
"Don't be," he sighed. "I'd shake your hand, but I get why you wouldn't want to touch me."
I swallowed and collected myself. This man meant everything to Crash. I stood up and marshaled myself, then strode over to the bed and closed my hand over his, ignoring the tubes. "Ben didn't introduce me," I said firmly, looking into his bloodshot eyes. "I'm Gabi."
I felt Doc's fingers twitch under me. "Deck, Declan. But everyone just calls me Doc."
"How are you feeling, Doc?" I forced myself to hold my gaze steady.
He heaved a sigh. "Pissed, mostly," he grunted. "Worried too."
"Yeah." I looked down at my shoes, wiggling my toes a little. The bathroom was only down the hall; I had seen it when we came in. What the hell was taking Crash so long? "Yeah, I know Ben is worried too."
"He's who I'm most worried about," Doc croaked. "Kid's gonna do something stupid. I just know it."
It was in that moment that suddenly everything became clear to me. I whirled towards the door just as my phone vibrated with a text message in my pocket. "Oh, fucking hell no," I cursed, scrabbling to grab it. "Oh, you son of a bitch."
I read it and slowly lowered it to my side.
"What did he say?" Doc croaked.
I looked up at the ceiling. "That I'll be safe here." I turned and looked at the injured man, trying to keep the tears from spilling. "He left me here, Doc. He went to go avenge you or some kind of macho bullshit."
Doc closed his eyes in heavy sadness. "Fucking hell. He knows where they are?"
"I found them," I choked, shaking my head at my naiveté. "He knows exactly where to go."
"You found them?" Doc's eyes shot back open. "You know the hideout of the Los Lobos?"
"I think so, they were looking for a guy named Fernando."
"He's going to get his ass killed," Doc growled low. "Fucking hell, I'm all strapped down to this goddamn bed, can't even fucking walk and Ben is going to go on a fucking suicide mission. Fuck!" He roared and bells started dinging. I heard footsteps in the hallway, and felt the tears of panic slipping down my cheeks.
What do I do, what do I do?
I had helped Crash find the guys he was looking for without ever stopping to consider what he would do next. I was in over my head, leading the man I loved straight to a bunch of violent criminals wanted by the police.
The police.
As the nurses flooded the room, shouting at me to step back as Doc raged and roared, I looked back down at my phone. The picture of the street sign was still saved in my text messages.
I could stop this.
I ducked out of the room and started dialing.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Crash
I lived in this city for six years. I had an apartment here, was considered a regular at a bunch of bars. I fucked a bunch of girls here and I joined a brotherhood.
Why did I feel like a stranger?
I hopped up and down in parking lot, feeling exposed as shit. This wasn't my neighborhood. I was in a part of the city that seemed wholly unfamiliar. Even the skyline seemed different up here. Seen from the wrong angle, it looked like a crude mockup of its actual self. It only made me feel more alien, more on edge.
Where the fuck were they?
I hopped up and down again, hoping to dispel some of the panicked energy. Landing on my bad leg like this hurt like hell, but I welcomed the pain. It hurt almost as bad as walking away and leaving Gabi in the hospital.
She had done right by me and I repaid her by dumping her off with Doc.
Doc.
I couldn't look at him one minute longer. I couldn't see the bloating, the swelling, the obvious pain he was in and not do something about it. I needed to get out of there and fucking fix it for him. Before I lost my shit.
Finally there was the far off sound of Harleys. I would recognize the sound of the guys anywhere. My heart leapt up into my throat and then splashed down into my stomach.
I wasn't so dumb to just rush off and fuck up cartel members without back-up. Maybe before I met Gabi I would have done something so stupidly suicidal. But if there was any chance I was going to get out of this day alive, I wanted to take it.
Teach's dreads whipped in the gusting wind. The scar on his cheek was almost fully healed now, but it had twisted and tightened the skin of his cheek up into an evil, lopsided grin. I caught myself smiling hopefully back at him until I remembered that he wasn't actually happy to see me.
Case killed his engine first. The big fucker came striding up to my pickup and I planted my feet firmly on the ground. If he was going to hit me, let him get it out of his system, I didn't have time for this petty shit any more.
He loomed over me, utilizing all five inches of extra height to his advantage. "You had better be fucking right about this, traitor," he hissed. I saw his fists clench at his side, but he didn't lift them.
So it was going to be like that then. Fine, I could handle a little name-calling. "I'm right," I said evenly, though a little flicker of doubt flared in my head. What if Gabi was wrong? I was putting all my trust in my girl here. That she knew what she was talking about when she said she had found the hideout of the Los Lobos. What if she was wrong?
These assholes would most likely kill me on the spot.
I swallowed and tried to look completely confident. Cocky even. I could play cocky. "Where's my kiss?" I taunted him. "I missed you, big guy."
Case whirled around like he was ready to fuck me up, but Teach shouted at him to cut the shit. I shot Case a winning smile and he glowered at me. Serious motherfucker needed to pull the stick out of his ass.
"You got a piece?" Teach asked me. His Zen master's calm was ragged at the edges and I could tell he hadn't slept in fucking weeks.
"Nah," I said, looking down at my boots. I was about to say something about not wanting Gabi to see it but decided it was best not to tell them about her.
"Case, get him a Glock," Teach ordered. "Now all of you listen up."
Even the wind seemed to die down to listen to Teach. Old fucker just commanded that level of respect. "We're going in two waves," he said, his voice purposefully low so that we had to move in to hear him. I looked at the group of men on their bikes. Of course I recognized Case, Mac, J. and Teach, and I thought I saw a few Storm MC guys from the party that night. All told there were nine of us and I realized I had no idea how many Lobos we were up against. "Crash," Teach went on, and I felt myself snap to attention. "You know where this place is?"
I nodded, leaving out the part where I hadn't actually seen the place with my own eyes. My heartbeat started pounding everywhere but my chest. I could feel it in my fingertips, hear it in my ears. The stink of fear started to collect aro
und me and I rocked back on my heels, certain the guys could smell it.
"Good," Teach nodded dismissively. "Bones, you're going in behind him. Case, you too. J., I want you in the rear watching the windows and roofs. You got it?"
"Got it," the three of them echoed and I was a little surprised to hear the military precision in their responses. Clearly five weeks in a safehouse had changed a few of the ways the Sons did things.
"Mac, you, Reese, Chief and me, we're gonna flank them from the west, coming up behind to run clean-up. "
"Got it, Teach," they replied and I was surprised to hear even Mac saying words out loud. Fuck, what had I missed?
The wind picked up again like it had been waiting for him to finish. I had to shout over the gusts. "It's three blocks dues west and one block south of here, the corner of F Street and Kingston. You're gonna see a strip club with a yellow sign. The house is in the lot right behind. Two entrances to the lot: one on F, one on Kingston. First wave, we're hitting from the front, coming in on F." I swallowed again then nodded.
Teach nodded back. "Proceed on foot. We don't want to give them any advance notice."
The nine of us all nodded, fingering our weapons. The sun was dipping lower in the sky. I wished we had the luxury of waiting for the cover of dark, but by now Fernando was sure to have gotten wind of our presence in the city. We couldn't risk him getting away and moving underground.
"Okay, let's fucking roll," Case bellowed.
"Wait!" I shouted over the wind. The eight men looked at me. I saw anger, bewilderment, resentment and a whole lot of impatience. Well, let them stew for a sec, this needed to be said. "For Doc," I yelled, raising my fist. My heart beat nearly out of my chest.
Teach looked at me and nodded, raising his own fist. "For Doc," he growled.
J. and Case nodded in turn, and Mac closed his palm over his heart. "For Doc," they all murmured, staring at the ground.
"Okay, now let's roll."
With every step I took, I saw the image of Doc in the hospital bed. It stretched and swam in front of my gaze so that I wasn't seeing the street around me. I was hurrying away, trying to get out from under the nightmare my traitor brain kept trying to show me. Seeing him strapped down, helpless in that bed, I felt like it was me. Me again. Lying for days, and weeks, the frustration, the pain, the boredom, all of the crazy psychotic feelings came roaring back, louder than the blood in my ears. I rushed forward; practically sprinting down the windblown streets, ready to fuck up the people who did this, the ones who brought my past crashing back down around my ears. I heard shouts, sirens, the noise of the city around me, but nothing was strong enough to drown out the pain. I heard a shout and realized it was my own voice as I grabbed my Glock from my waistband ready to turn the corner and rain hellfire down on each and every Los Lobos fucker...
There was another shout and something slammed into me.
I fell hard, slamming my face against the pavement, screaming and cursing.
"Fucking shut up!" A hand clapped around my mouth. I raged and lifted my gun.
J. appeared above me and smacked it away. "Crash, shut up! Look!"
From his position on top of me, Case grabbed my head and wrenched it to the side, forcing me to see the street ahead of us.
The cop cars closed off a perimeter of about one hundred feet around the strip club, guns drawn. I watched, bewildered, as three heavily armored officers kicked down the door to the house in the rear, shouting for Fernando to put his goddamn hands up.
"Holeeeee shiiit," J. exhaled.
"I almost walked into that," I realized.
"Ran into it," Case corrected me. He pushed himself off of me and held out his hand. Gingerly, I reached out and clasped it, and he hauled me to my feet.
"Let's get the hell out of here before someone makes connections.” Bones suggested, sounded almost disappointed.
But I couldn't stop watching. There were other people milling about on the street, taking in the drama as the police hauled guys out of the house, throwing them on the ground and cuffing them. It was fucking surreal. How the hell had this happened?
My phone vibrated in my pocket and suddenly I understood. With a mixture of confusion and awe, I picked it up.
"Baby?"
"You alive?" Gabi sounded both worried and pissed.
"I'm alive," I nodded. "Seems like the cops beat me to the punch somehow."
"Yeah, somehow," she snorted. "You're an idiot and an asshole, could you come fucking get me now?'
"Yeah," I exhaled. She had saved me, she had saved all of us from a battle that would have cost us everything. "Yeah, I am an asshole, aren't I?"
"You are, but I love you anyway. Stop off and get me and Doc something to eat, the food here is terrible and he wants a burger," she muffled the phone. "How do you want it?" I heard her ask Doc.
"Don't worry, I know, rare," I agreed, backing away from the drama on the street. It was funny how as soon as I heard her voice, I wasn't even interested in it any more. Teach and the other guys were meeting up with us, and we all started melting back into the shadows, unnoticed by both the Lobos and the cops.
It was over. But me and Gabi, we were just beginning.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Gabriela
Doc was absolutely right, this place was a shithole.
I hung back and watched as the guys Crash had introduced me to gathered their things and threw them in the back of Crash's pick up. It was dark, darker than I thought New Jersey was capable of getting, and the safehouse squatted in the middle of a muddy field, looking almost forlorn as everyone abandoned it as fast as they could.
J. and Case were both on their phones, their pleading tones telling me that they were calling their girlfriends after a long, unexplained absence. I felt some sympathy for the girls on the other end of the line. I knew how worried they must have been.
Crash came around the corner with a pack on his back. "That's the last of Doc's shit," he told me, hefting it higher on his shoulder. "Thanks for being patient, babe." He kissed me carefully, and cupped a hand on my face.
I sighed. He was being careful with me. Leaving me at the hospital was a dick move, and I knew I should have been more pissed about it, but as Doc and I sat in the room talking, I felt like I got to know the man I loved even better. As hard as it was to deal with, his past informed who he was, and these men were his brothers, his family. He loved them the way I loved mine, with all the frustration, exasperation and misguided loyalty that came with it.
"You're welcome," I sighed into his arms, snuggling my head into his chest. We rested that way for a moment, both of us feeling the exhaustion of this endless day.
"...and I love you too, so goddamned much, I'll see you soon." I caught the tail end of Case's conversation, surprised to hear the big, burly, frankly sort of terrifying looking guy sound all choked up with emotion.
Case hung up his phone and stared off in the distance, an expression of wonder on his face. He turned slowly back to us, his eyes shining. "Lexi found my brothers," he said, in a strangled whisper.
The words meant nothing to me, but they clearly did to Crash. His eyes widened and he broke out into a wide grin. "Holy shit, that's amazing, man!"
"She's arranging a meeting, I can't..." he choked up and tried to disguise it in a fit of coughing.
"Who's Lexi?" I asked.
Crash and Case both looked up. I felt something pass through the air, a tension. Then Crash slung his arm over my shoulder. "Lexi is Case's girl," he explained, kissing me on the forehead.
Case suddenly strode forward, his hand outstretched. Crash lifted his head and met his eyes, extending his own hand. They clutched each other's forearms for a moment, a heavy understanding in the air. I didn't know what was left unsaid, but I knew that they both agreed. "Go to her now, man," Crash told him. "I've got your stuff in my truck."
Case nodded, eyes shining, and he rushed over to his bike. The roar of the engine drowned out any chance of goodbyes.
<
br /> "And what about you, are you staying at your place still?" J. asked, tucking his phone back in his jeans.
"You mean, am I coming back?” Crash clarified.
I stepped back. This seemed like something that was none of my business, but Crash reached back and grabbed my hand.
J. looked between the two of us and nodded. "I'll let you explain it to Teach. Maybe you guys can work something out," he said. "Wouldn't be the same without you."
"Thanks, man," Crash nodded, looking at the ground.
I looked between the two of them, open-mouthed. "What's going on?"
Crash turned to me and cupped my face in his hands. "I'm staying with you," he said softly. "This, thing, that you and I have? I want to be around to see what happens. The club can wait. I don't know, maybe I'll be a fucking weekend warrior or something, normal job, normal life, all that shit, I don't care. I don't want to be distracted one minute longer from...this," he kissed my lips, softly, sweeping his tongue lightly against mine, then pulling back to trace his thumb along the Cupid's bow of my lip.
The words bubbled back up in my chest until I had no choice but to say them out loud. "Oh fuck, I love you so much," I exhaled, collapsing against his chest and feeling the slow, strong beat of his heart against my cheek. "And I don't give a shit about your past, or the person you were or the memories you don't remember. I'm here now. And I'm going to stay here." I pulled back and looked around at the meager surroundings and relented slightly. "Well maybe not here, per se, because here kind of sucks," he laughed a little and stared at the ground, the tips of his ears pink in a way that made my heart hurt. "But with you, goddamnit. I'm staying with you."
Epilogue
Gabriela
I opened my tiny, over-stuffed closet and sighed hugely. I had already packed up the dresser, a task that had taken me nearly all morning. Piles of discarded clothing drifted in a slope from the floor up to my bed, destined to be donated to a thrift store. But my closet was another story entirely. Our new place had only one closet for the two of us. It was a good thing Ben seemed to only have one black T-shirt and one pair of well-fitted, faded blue-jeans.